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seen from Malaysia
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Kim Fu, ‘Lifecycle of the Mole-Woman’ How Festive the Ambulance / unknown image / Louise Glück ‘Marathon’ The Triumph of Achilles / The Color of Pomegranate 1969 / Federico Garcia Lorca ‘Summer Madrigal’ /Bill Skarsgård in Hemlock Grove / Virginia Woolf ‘The Waves’ / Yusef Komunyakaa / unknown image /
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the first august i turned into a teen, i never thought i’d get out of those years. 8 more days and i’ll be twenty.
(8 more days from a new moon, 8 days before a full)
There’s this heaviness in my chest and it refuses to ease off. March is ending next week, April’s rolling in too fast. I can’t keep up with the days yet it’s only the second of the month, I hope it last longer then the last.
I’d give up many life times for my mother to have one she was truly happy with
she wouldn’t want a life I wasn’t in
I think I felt peace for a few seconds one morning 64 degree weather outside, sitting on the side of the bathtub in my first apartment that was built sometime in the 30s, dead quiet of the early morning the only sound coming from the constant trickle of the sink, clad in a oversized sweater and thick fuzzy socks against the freezing tile, toothbrush in hand and a curler lodged in my bangs
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okay maybe i do have anger issues ive just learned to shut the fuck up
at least externally
i will not dilute myself engraved into clay body by yours truly
- vrykola
so maybe love and death do find you, both things feasible to chase but it will never be the right time if you do.
i know death will find me as it must find us all, i hope it finds me when im ready to accept it.
what terrifies me is love. will it find me in this lifetime, has it already found me in another one and is this the one im bound not to.
but if so i must remember there’s still love. in the ocean i can dip my body into, the words i pour out on a blank page, the people that sweep through my life, in the jingle of my cat walking up to me, the warmth from a hot cup of tea…
there’s love in all fleeting moments
