#voidbeing

stuff that it all affects: a lot of it is, inherently tied to a lack of something and being very shifty? my identity is fluid, i have no true name, pronouns or appearance that feel perfect, only what feels good enough at the moment to give me some euphoria or at least satisfy me, my current name is the one ive kept the longest and thats only due to consistent enforcement (through daydreams and just insisting that "this is me, this is who i choose to be") if i change my pov character in the daydream and keep it up long enough, ill start taking up that identity instead lol (fun fact: this also happens on discord when i simply just change my pfp and much faster than daydreams too ripp yes its annoying to deal with sometimes </3) i could take on any nonhuman identity i wanted to (kinda like constelic, masks i can take on and discard at will) but i have to keep reinforcing that connection otherwise it fades away rip an ability i have related to that—due to my identity being so fluid, i can kinda split myself apart into a median subsystem (intentionally or unintentionally, it happened on accident before lmao often times when i involuntarily start adapting to a new identity but try to take back the old one) i, the overaching whole, is still here and doesnt disappear, but i have smaller parts of myself that can do things in our cosmaspace for me (we're more on the singlet side, ranging from parasian to mesosian) most of the time, the majority of them are inactive though and submerged / part of the voidsea (our internal innerworld that looks like a vantablack reality-twisting maelstrom)

im also aroflux, ace, aplatonic, my gender is fluid but also very... transparent? like its there but moreso of a background thing, i dont really notice it beyond the dysphoria i get from people viewing me as the bodys agab i dont really feel a whole of emotions (most of the time i can only really notice or tell them apart by the bodys reaction due to the intensity), i dont really have any goals or motivation beyond just comfortably existing, my base state is blank (not in a depressive sad way, but just. neutral) i also dont really care about most things, be it ethics, morals, politics, interests, hobbies, ect, i am defined by apathy (that doesnt mean i cant recognize that something is wrong/bad, i just dont feel much of anything about it and it might take me a bit to reach the conclusion) ive recently had the idea that i might have a primal-like mindset related to that, but i havent really picked that apart yet lol