being self-aware but still unable to change your own reactions is such a uniquely miserable experience

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being self-aware but still unable to change your own reactions is such a uniquely miserable experience

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“just communicate” becomes a lot harder when your brain keeps treating uncertainty like a physical threat
toxic co-dependent queer-platonic relationship.. sighs dreamily
you'd look prettier covered in bruises given by me
i want to feel so deeply remembered by someone that even silence feels heavy with their attention. i could disappear for hours and still have this strange sense that somebody, somewhere, would notice immediately. the idea of existing so persistently in someone’s thoughts is so comforting to me.

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attention, in any form, from you makes me feel so good. it doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it’s you noticing me—it feels like coming back into focus, like how it always should have been.
your attention should only be locked on me. how dare the world exist around you in ways that don’t involve me. every time you focus on someone else, talk to someone else, get distracted by something else, it feels like watching your gaze physically being pulled away from me and i cannot stand it. look at me again. i should be enough to consume your focus entirely.
you don’t understand i can tell something is wrong from a two second change in your typing pattern