When you die, there’s a company that will press your ashes into a vinyl record—a jazz funeral at 33rpm.
It’s no mere gimmick. And Vinyly (rhymes with “Finally”) has been in business for four years now.
While founder Jason Leach began the site “just for fun,” word spread slowly, and by halfway through 2012 he began to get hundreds of inquiries.
To date, he’s only pressed four actual records, at £3,000 a pop, including one for a DJ that spun at his favorite club. So it’s not surprising the Web is a little short on reviews and testimonials for this service. There has been a notable recent customer: an Amsterdam artist named Francesca Grilli.
“She had a classical score written and played by string instruments,” Leach said. “This was filmed. The instruments and score were burning during the performance. We pressed the ashes from the performance into clear vinyl cut with the audio recording from the performance.”
It can’t be the cost alone that gives most people cold feet about this clever final resting plan. Many traditional funerals are far more expensive. Nor is it the possible recordings: Leach notes that you can record your voice, laughter, ambient noise, commis[s]ion your own music, or just leave the vinyl blank so relatives can listen to your crackles and hiss.
The problem may boil down to a very important constriction: The deceased only gets 24 minutes to fill, 12 minutes per side. If you were the nostalgic type and wanted to be pressed into a copy of your favorite album, you’d likely be out of luck. Most LPs run almost twice that length.
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