smut (spanking, squirting, strong sexual language) with a little fluff and some angst. enjoy! :)

I sigh and turn over in bed, looking out of my window. I can see the street light dimly lighting the cars parked up and down the sides of the road.

I turn on my back and stare at the ceiling.

Should I call him? But he’s probably asleep.

I pick my phone up and look at the time. 1:16 am. I laid down to sleep at 10 but haven’t slept yet. It’s been 2 weeks since I talked to Vinnie. I haven’t stopped thinking about him.

“Fuck,” I groan quietly and stand up, walking across the room. I start fumbling through my purse in the dark, and pull out the piece of paper with his number.

I dial it. It rings a few times.

Shit, why did I do this?

Just as I take the phone away from my ear to hang up, I hear a voice.

“Hello?” He answers.

I’m silent for a moment, wondering if I should still hang up while I have the chance.

“Y/n, is that you?”

“Yes,” I say quietly, being careful not to wake Lisa up in the room beside me.

He laughs a little bit. “Hey, princess. I was beginning to think I’d never hear from you again.”

My heart starts to flutter at his nickname for me and I smile.

“Is this a bad time?” I ask.

“Not at all, I just got home from a dinner party with some colleagues.”

“Can I come see you?”

“Tonight?” He asks.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, of course. Do you need me to pick you up?”

“No, I have a car. I’ll be there soon. Maybe 30 minutes,” I say.

“Okay. You remember which unit?”

“I think so.”

“Alright, the door will be unlocked. I’m gonna take a shower in a minute so I might be in there when you get here. Just come on in.”

“Okay,” I say.

“Passcode on the safe was changed, too, so good luck,” he adds.

I start laughing, trying to stay quiet. “Are you ever gonna let that go?”

“You literally tried to rob me.”

“And you held a gun to my fucking head, but you don’t see me still bitching about it.”

He starts laughing. “You held one to my chest!”

I’m silent for a moment. “Well damn, you’re right.”

He laughs harder.

“Whatever, I’ll be there in 30,” I say, still smiling.

“Alright, asshole. I’ll see you then.”

I giggle again and hang up the phone. I put some sweatpants and a t-shirt on, sneaking out of my bedroom.

Lisa is asleep in her room with the TV still on. Hopefully it hides the sound of the door.

I creep across the kitchen to the back door, holding my breath as I open it. Relief fills me as soon as it closes behind me without having woken her. I just don’t want to have to explain myself to her.

—

Once I arrive, I make my way into the condo. Sure enough, he’s in the shower. I go knock on the bathroom door.

“Yeah?” He asks over the water.

I slowly open it and peak my head in. I can see him through his glass shower door, rinsing soap from his hair. “I’m here,” I say.

“Okay, I’m almost done.”

“Also, the new passcode on the safe was too easy to crack.”

His eyes shoot open and he looks over at me.

I start laughing. “I’m just kidding. I haven’t tried it, yet.”

“I’m gonna kick your ass, y/n,” he says, smiling.

“I’m sorry, did you said you’re gonna lick my ass?”

He starts chuckling. “That too, if you want.”

I smile and bite my lip. “I’m gonna go sit on the bed.”

“Okay. Feel free to grab a snack or something to drink.”

“Thank you,” I say, shutting the door.

I get comfortable under the covers. After a few minutes, he comes out. His hair is wet, but not dripping. He had a black towel wrapped around his waist. I can see the outline of his cock through the towel. He looks so fucking good.

My heart rate and breathing start to pick up and I feel my cheeks flush. I close my legs tightly to create the feeling of pressure, adding to my pleasure as I watch him.

His towel comes off and he slides his boxers on along with some black sweatpants. I can’t take it anymore.

“Vinnie,” I say, quietly.

“Yeah?” He asks, looking through his dresser for a shirt.

I’m usually never this bold but I swear, something about him makes me almost feral.

“I’ve been thinking about you,” I smile.

“Yeah?” A wide grin spreads across his face as he turns to face me.

“Yeah. I’ve been thinking about your cock too.”

“Oh really?” His face flushes to a light shade of pink.

“Mhmm. And I’ve been thinking about you bending me over the bed and fucking me senseless,” I say, biting my lip and crawling to the end of the bed, stopping on my knees

“Oh,” he says in a deeper tone. His eyes flicker down my body. “I can do that.”

“Right now?”

“Say please,” he says, with a serious face.

“Please?” I give him my best pouty face. “And be rough with me.”

He smiles again and walks over to me, gently grabbing my throat. “I can do that too. How rough?” He asks in a whisper.

“However rough you want it,” I say, wrapping my hand around wrist. “You can anything you want to me.”

“Anything?”

“Anything,” I smile. “Smack me, choke me, put me on my knees and gag the fucking life out of me. Bruise me up, make it hard for me to walk. Whatever you want.”

“We need a safe word,” he says, his hands moving down to my collarbone.

I think for a moment. “What about red? ‘Red’ for stop. ‘Yellow’ for give me a minute.”

His mouth pulls up in the corners. “Perfect.” He kisses the tip of my nose then grabs my hair, pulling me off the bed. “Get on the ground.”

I drop down to my knees and look up at him, waiting for instructions.

“Sit on your ass with your back and head against the bed,” he says in a low voice.

I get into position and he takes my shirt off over my head and unclasps my bra.

“Take your pants and underwear off,” he says, looking down at me.

“Yes sir,” I say, sliding my bottoms off.

“Spread your legs.”

I spread them.

He smiles and walks over to sit in the chair across from me. “Touch yourself.”

I nod and move my hand down, rubbing my clit, moving in gentle circles. I slide my middle finger inside of me, and start pumping slowly.

His cheeks flush even redder and his cock starts to stick up in his pants.

I stare into his eyes, biting my lip and start to pick up the pace. I slide another finger inside of me and press my palm against my clit to add to the pleasure.

Throwing my head against the bed behind me, I start moaning. The more I work myself, the wetter I get. I bring my free hand up and pinch my nipple, then move up to my neck to gently choke myself.

I feel that familiar pressure start to build and my stomach tightens, then the release.

“Fuck,” I say, looking down at my hand as it gets soaked along with the floor.

“I fucking love when you squirt, baby,” he says. His eyes are glued to my pussy, closely watching what I’m doing to myself. His mouth is slightly open and I can see his breathing is quick and shallow.

“Mmm, fuck,” I say again with a smile, throwing my head back again.

He stands and walks over to me. I start to get up, but he stops me.

“No, pretty girl. Sit there. Lean your head back again. I don’t want you moving too much while I’m doing what I’m about to do,” he says, pushing me back down in my knees.

He drops his pants and boxers, kicking them to the side. He brings himself up to my lips.

“Open,” he says.

I open my mouth and he slides his cock in as far back into my throat as he can get it, causing me to gag.

It almost becomes too much and I push my hands against his thighs, but he won’t budge.

“Take it like a good girl,” he says softly.

I close my eyes and open my throat trying to suppress my gag reflex. I start moaning against him and finally he pulls out until it’s just his tip in my mouth.

“Fuck,” he says, smiling. I take a deep breath in. He grabs the top of my hair to hold my head still as he starts thrusting himself in and out of my mouth.

Gargling noises mixed with both of our moans fill the room. Tears start streaming down my face from gagging and drool drips down my chin and on to my tits, soaking his cock.

After a while he pulls out and pulls me up to my feet.

“Bend over my lap,” he says, sitting down on the edge of the bed. I nod and climb across him, my ass up toward him.

One of his hands hold my head down against the bed and his other rubs my ass cheek and teases my soaking wet core.

I begin to let out a soft moan when he suddenly lands a hard smack to my ass. The feeling catches me off guard and causes me to yelp out.

“Mmm, fuck,” I moan. He smacks me 10 more times, alternating to each side of my ass.

He laughs a little and reaches around, gripping the front and back of my neck, rolling us so that my stomach is on the bed and my feet are on the floor with him directly behind me.

“Stay right here,” he says.

“Okay,” I say lifting my head toward him.

He pushes me back down. “And don’t fucking look back here,” he says. “If this is something we’re going to be doing often then we need to get the proper equipment. Some toys, restraints. All that shit.” He starts walking across the room.

The thought of this being a permanent arrangement between us makes me smile. “Yeah, we should,” I say softly.

“Whatever you have of your own, bring it over here.”

“Okay,” I say, closing my eyes. I can’t see what he’s doing but I hear the sound of a belt buckle as he walks back over to me.

“Do you have any toys?” He asks, standing behind me again.

I open my eyes again. “A few vibrators.”

“You won’t need those for yourself. I’ll be taking care of you from now on,” he leans over me and kisses my temple. His hard cock presses against my outter thigh.

A wide smile spreads across my face and I nod. “Okay.”

He stands back up straight. I know what’s coming so I bite the sheets beneath me and grip the edge of the bed. I feel the belt run down my back gently, then the feeling disappears. It’s quiet for a brief second, and then a sting rips from my ass up to my back. The slap sounds like a whip.

“Fuck Vinnie!” I moan.

The belt runs down my back once more before he hits me again. And again. And again.

I lost count in my head after 10 but I think we’re around 30 smacks now.

“God damn,” I whine. Tears are streaming down my face from the pain but it excites me at the same time. My heart is racing and I can feel the heat spread from my ass to my back and thighs.

“Have you had enough yet?” Vinnie asks, grabbing my hair and pulling my head off the bed. I see my mascara smeared against the sheets.

“Yes sir,” I say.

“Too bad,” he chuckles and lays another 10 smacks to me.

My ass is almost numb now, and my moans have turned into desperate whines.

Finally he stops and grabs my hands and brings them behind me, wrapping the belt around them. The position causes discomfort in my shoulders but I don’t care at this point. I just want to please him.

“Spread your legs for me, pretty girl,” he says in a low voice.

I do as he says and he lines himself up with my entrance. Without warning, he pushes himself all the way inside of me and starts thrusting hard. I’m barely able to keep my feet on the ground as he picks up the pace.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so fucking tight. I love your pretty pussy,” he groans.

My face is partially buried in the mattress, muffling my loud moans. “It’s all yours,” I barely manage to say.

“All mine?”

I take a deep breath. “Yes! I’m all for you!” I whine.

The mascara in my eyes is starting to burn, causing even more tears to form.

“That’s right, baby,” he laughs. “Look back at me.”

I move my head around as much as I can to look at him.

“I love seeing those pretty eyes cry for me,” he moans.

I feel my core start to tighten around him. I let out small groans as my eyes roll to the back of my head and my breath stops. Euphoria washes over me as my mind goes blank, only focusing on the feeling between my legs.

“You cumming, baby?” he asks, picking up the pace a bit more.

I’m too wrapped up in my orgasm and can’t answer him. Once my high passes, I let out a pornographic moan. “Fuck yes!”

He pulls out of me, and grabs my arms to make me stand. “On your knees,” he says. “I’m gonna paint that pretty face of yours.”

I drop and look up at him with a smile and a wide open mouth.

“That’s right,” he says smiling as he stroke himself over my face. His moans get louder and his head falls back as he cums in my mouth and over my face and hair.

I can’t help but giggle out of enjoyment. I fucking love seeing him like this.

Once he’s done, he takes his cock and shoves it into my mouth, pushing to the back of my throat a few times before slowly pulling out. I wrap my lips around him, swallowing what’s on my tongue.

“God damn it, y/n,” he says, looking down at me. I smile and gently kiss the tip of him.

He takes a few deep breaths and I stand back up. He turns me around and undoes the belt around my hands.

I bring them back in front of me, rubbing my red wrists and moving my shoulders in small circles to get my range of motion back. My whole body is sore but so fucking satisfied.

He smiles and kisses my forehead. “Come in here,” he says, putting his hand around my waist and leading me to the bathroom.

He starts the shower and grabs a rag from his closet, wetting it under the sink.

He wipes my face clean and checks the water to make sure it’s warm and then guides me in.

“Thank you,” I say, smiling.

“I’ll be right outside if you need me,” he walks back to the closet and grabs a towel. “Here’s this when you’re done.”

I nod as he closes the shower door behind him and leaves the bathroom. I rinse off and wash my hair and body.

Once I’m clean, I stand there enjoying the warm water for a while. I look around and start to admire how nice the bathroom is. It’s huge with marble floors. A built in seat sits in the corner of the shower, and the shower head is one of the ones that hang from the ceiling, drizzling over you like rain. Separate from the shower is a large jacuzzi style bathtub. 2 sinks connected by a long counter sit on the other side of the room. Everything is so new and clean.

My mind flashes back to where I live and I imagine my tiny bathroom and tiny shower, with the nozzle that’s barely hanging in the wall and barely has any water pressure. I imagine the ugly peeling wall paper that lines humidity ridden bathroom ceiling, the cracked mirror of the medicine cabinet that never stays closed, the sink that always clogs, the paint splatters on tiles from the half assed attempt to touch the place up however many years ago, and the ugly tan color of the shower walls with the hard water stains that never stay clean no matter how many times I scrub them.

The feeling of envy creeps back in and I take a deep breath.

Maybe it’s materialistic and shallow of me to feel this way, but I grew up seeing the high rise condos lining the beaches, like this one. Seeing the nice cars on the streets and watching people party every weekend on million dollar yachts. Seeing people on jet skis and in helicopters, making their way up and down the coast and vacationing on the massive cruise ships that stay anchored in the bay and a few miles offshore. Living their life completely free of financial worry. Thriving in their youth, traveling, getting a good education. Not working overtime at a soul draining job for barely enough money to pay rent for a shitty apartment, but instead experiencing life at its fullest.

The lifestyle of the wealthy is one I’ve always been surrounded by, but never able to live myself. Always so close but so fucking far.

I wonder how Vinnie grew up. What got him into this lifestyle. Did he grow up like I did or did he come from privilege? He’d be fucking stupid to get in the business of crime if he didn’t have to. So in some sort of twisted way, I hope he struggled like I did. I hope he had a good reason to lead him to what he does now.

I sigh, realizing I don’t know anything about him. I don’t even know his last name.

After a few more moments, I turn around and shut the water off, reaching outside of the shower door to grab the towel he provided. I dry off and step out, wrapping it around me.

I clean my face of what what’s left of my smeared makeup in the mirror and walk out into his bedroom. He’s laying on the bed, watching some anime.

this one is going to be an on going story. i’m not sure how many parts it’ll have all said and done, i’m just gonna write until it feels right to stop. it’ll involve plenty of fluff, smut, and angst. warnings include a mention of an abusive relationship, physical fighting, and a very brief mention of manipulation into sex. I think that’s it for now. let me know what you guys think. other than that, enjoy :)

I woke up to the sunlight shining in through my black curtains. It’s not as bright as it usually is, so I assume it’s a rainy day. I like these days. They bring me a feeling of peace and calmness, which is much needed right now.

I roll over and look at my phone. 3 new texts from my ex, Luke. Well, he’s sort of my ex. We only officially dated for a week but talked for maybe 4 months before that. I found out a few weeks ago that when he met me, he had made a bet with his friends to see which one of them could cause me to break my celibacy first.

I was obviously devastated. I mean my celibacy was just a personal choice, not a religious thing or anything like that. But I got out of a heavily abusive relationship almost 2 years ago and swore up and down that the next person I’m with would be someone who wants to be with me and who treats me right. I thought I found that in Luke, but clearly I didn’t.

My heart was broken when I found out. I was basically manipulated into having sex, he wasn’t up front with his intentions from the start. I felt like an object. I felt violated. It fucking hurt to say the least, especially after everything I had been through in the past.

I was with Luke at dinner when I discovered this, and he all but got on his knees and begged for forgiveness. He swore he was sorry, and that it started like that but that he quickly developed real feelings for me. He swore he loved me, and hated himself for his actions. But I couldn’t be with him anymore. I just don’t have the energy to deal with something like that. It was a gross thing to do, and it showed me his true colors. The fact he would even be the type of person to not only entertain that idea, but to actually pursue it? It ruined my trust in him and made me want to shut down completely and never attempt to date again. I’m done with him.

Luke 8:54 am

Good morning y/n

Luke 9:02 am

I miss you

Luke 9:15 am

Can we please talk today?

I read the messages, rolling my eyes and laying my phone back down beside me. I take a moment to clear my mind and meditate before I climb out of bed. I head downstairs and put on some coffee and throw some oatmeal in the microwave.

My phone starts ringing. It’s Vinnie.

“Hello?” I say in a cheerful voice.

“Hey, are you coming over today? Jett and I were about to head out to get some Starbucks and we can go ahead and pick you up if you’re ready,” he says.

My car is currently in the shop so I have no way to get anywhere right now.

“Yeah! That would be great. I just made some coffee and my breakfast. When will you be here?”

“Uh, maybe 45 minutes?”

“I’ll be ready,” I say. “Just let me know when you’re like 5 minutes out.”

“Okay, I’ll see you in a bit. Bye, y/n.” I can hear his smile through his voice.

“Bye, Vinnie,” I laugh a little as I hang up the phone. I quickly eat, then run upstairs to get dressed. It’s a sweater and jeans kinda day for sure. I brush my hair and teeth and sit at my vanity to put a little makeup on.

While I’m doing my makeup, I shift in my seat nervously. I take a deep breath to calm myself. I always get nervous before I see Vinnie. I don’t know why, I’ve known him since I moved to LA. We’re good friends.

But I have a sneaking suspicion that he likes me. Like... likes me likes me. The only thing is, Vinnie isn’t too much of “ladies man”. I mean he is as far as women liking him goes but he cannot flirt or drop a hint to someone he likes if it meant saving his life. When he tries to, it’s just awkward. But it’s sort of a charming awkwardness. It always makes me smile.

With that being said, I’m still not fully convinced he actually does like me because of this. It’s just hard to tell by the way he acts. But the main reason I think he does is because a few months ago when Luke and I were just starting to get close we were at a party at the Hype House. Vinnie was drunk and in a mood that night. Hyper as hell and frustrated with everyone but with an “I don’t give a fuck” attitude, and he and Luke had a moment.

—

Flashback

Luke and I arrived at the party and we took a few shots together. Vinnie is usually the first to greet me when I come over but tonight he acted like he couldn’t care less, which was weird. He seemed upset about something but seemed like he was trying to hide it or play it off. I still felt his eyes glued to me all night. Every time I glanced over at him, he was already looking at me but he wouldn’t keep his eye contact with me. He’d just look away with a pouty look on his face.

Everyone started playing a drinking game that was basically just truth or dare but if you don’t answer the question or do the dare, you take a shot.

Everyone was sitting at the dining table, and the game came around to me.

“Alright, y/n, truth or dare?” Liza asks.

“Uhhh, dare?” I say, smiling.

“Alright, I dare you to kiss Luke,” she laughs and everyone except Vinnie lets out a little ‘ooooo’ sound.

I look over at Luke, blushing. I haven’t kissed him yet, or anyone in a while for that matter. I’m not sure I want my first kiss in nearly 2 years to be while I’m drunk with a room full of people staring at us.

“I don’t know,” I laugh shaking my head.

“Oh come on, y/n. Give me a little kiss,” Luke says, nudging my arm.

“I think I’ll just take a shot,” I say, laughing it off.

“Oh come on, you seriously won’t kiss me?” Luke said, smiling but sounding genuinely frustrated.

“I -“ I get cut off by Vinnie.

“She said she doesn’t want to, so leave her alone about it,” Vinnie says shrugging with his eyes wide and snide smile on his face.

Luke immediately gets angry. “Buddy, if she has a fucking problem with this, she’ll tell me her god damn self.”

“That’s not what she’s literally fucking doing?” Vinnie laughed sarcastically.

“You got a fucking problem, Vinnie?”

“Yeah, I obviously fucking do,” he replies.

“Okay, enough,” I say sternly.

“No, let’s talk about this. Since Vinnie wants to act like a tough guy in front of everyone, like he’s gonna tell me shit about anything,” Luke says.

Vinnie stands up aggressively, and Luke stands to meet him. They walk up to each other, chest to chest.

“Alright, stop it!” I say loudly.

Eamon stands up to come between them. “Seriously, don’t do this guys,” he says putting his hand on Vinnie’s chest to push him back.

“Whatever,” Vinnie shakes his head, storming away.

“What a dickhead,” Luke says angrily.

I sit there in shock for a second, trying to process what the hell just happened and why. I glance around the table and everyone is just sitting in silence, looking at me. Now I’m embarrassed and irritated. I sigh and stand up, walking out the front door ordering an Uber. Luke follows me.

“Y/n, what was that about?” He asks grabbing my arm.

“Luke, just stop,” I say, pulling my arm away.

“I didn’t even do anything, it’s that fucking asshole. Who the hell does he think he is?”

“I don’t have a clue. I just want to go home. I already have an Uber on the way. Can you just wait out here? I forgot my bag inside,” I say.

I walk back inside through the side door to avoid facing everyone again. I come around the corner into the living room. Vinnie is sitting in here alone on the couch, looking down with his head in his hands.

“Vinnie,” I say softly. “Are you okay?” I ask.

“Yep,” he looks up at me then sighs looking away.

“What was that about?” I sit down next to him.

“What? He was pressuring you,” he says, holding his hand up as if pointing to where Luke was. “I don’t even know why you like that guy, he’s such a fucking cocky prick.” He looks like he could cry right now.

“I think you’re just drunk and tired. You need to get some sleep,” I say, resting my hand on his back.

“Nah, I’m just tired of it.”

“Tired of what?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “Nothing.”

I look at him confused for a moment trying to figure out what he means.

“If you ever decide to date someone who actually cares about you and isn’t an asshole, let me know.” He gets up and walks up the stairs before I have a chance to respond.

What the hell does he mean by that?

—

My phone dings.

Vinnie 11:02 am

We’re about to pull up

I get up and spritz a little bit of perfume on myself. It’s Daisy by Marc Jacobs. Vinnie always compliments this one when I wear it. Every single time. So I wear it just for him.

I walk downstairs, grabbing my bag and putting my shoes on. I walk out my front door just as him and Jett pull up.

As I approach the car, Jett rolls his window down.

“Do you want to sit up front?” He asks.

“Oh no, you’re okay. Thank you though,” I smile and get into the backseat.

“Good morning,” Vinnie says looking back at me.

“Good morning, Vin.”

“You smell good,” he says, subtly smirking at me as he backs out of the driveway.

this part is basically just all fluff. no warnings. i might post part 3 tonight, too, since i have it ready. part 3 is gonna be filled with a bunch of angst and anger though, so soak up the fluff while it’s here. enjoy :)

We went to Starbucks and then stopped by their garage. Jett decided to stay behind to work on one of the cars, and I need to get a few errands done, which Vinnie kindly agreed to take me to do.

“Alright, I’ll see you later,” Vinnie says to Jett as we head back to the car. He holds the car door open for me like he always does.

“Alright, lady, where do you need to go?” He asks, smiling at me as we pull away.

“Well, I kinda wanted to go to Ulta. I need lash glue and there’s a new body scrub I want to try,” I smile back.

“The one by the bakery?” He asks.

“Mhmm.”

“You got it,” he says.

I sit back in my seat, taking a moment to admire him while he’s driving. His hair is getting long, but I like it. He’s got on a black sweater with khaki style pants, and a pearl necklace. He always dresses so damn nice. I don’t know how he does it. I feel plain sitting next to him, even though I’ve got a sweater and jeans on. We’re not dressed too differently but he’s got a certain flare to his outfit that I feel like I lack. I can’t quite put my finger on it. Maybe it’s just him as a person that makes it look so good.

I’ve been finding myself thinking about him in this way since the incident at the party. He got my attention that night. He never said he likes me so I didn’t know it if he did. I would have been interested in him, though. Now I’m upset about the whole Luke thing, and scared of relationships in general at this point. I definitely have a little crush on Vinnie but I think I would be better off just focusing on myself right now.

I keep gazing at him while getting lost in my thoughts. I notice that he purses his lips, and a small smile creeps on to his face before he glances over at me. As soon as we make eye contact his smile spreads completely across his face.

“What?” He asks laughing.

“Nothing,” I say, smiling and shaking my head.

“You checking me out?” He asks.

“What?” I say sarcastically. “Neverrr.”

He shakes his head still grinning.

“Your hair is getting long,” I say, reaching out to run my hand through it. I can feel he tenses up a little and moves his eyes toward me, keeping his head facing forward.

Do I make him nervous? Or does he just not like when I do this?

“Yeah, I’ve been growing it out,” he says. “What do you think?”

“I like it,” I reassure him.

“Good.”

Good as in good in general, or good that I specifically like it?

I look down at my hands and then out of the window beside me.

I’m overthinking this.

We pull up to Ulta, and I lean into the back to grab my bag. Vinnie hops out and comes around to open my door for me.

“You don’t have to do that for me, you know?”

“Do what?” He asks innocently.

“You know. Open my door. I can do it myself,” I say.

“Oh please,” he jokingly rolls his eyes. “What you don’t like it when I do?” He says smiling down at me.

“I mean of course I like it but -“

“But nothing little lady,” he cuts me off. “Just smile and say ‘thank you’,” he furrows his brows at me with a fake angry face.

“Thank you, Vin,” I laugh.

“You’re welcome,” he says. “I don’t do that for just anyone, you know,” he nudges my arm. We start walking up to the store, putting our masks on.

Even his mask looks cool on him. What the hell is it about this man?

“Really?” I ask. Now that I think about it, I’ve never seen him do that for anyone else. I get butterflies in my stomach at the thought of him doing something just for me.

“Nope. Just you,” he holds the store doors open for me, and looks at me raising his eyebrows.

“Well, what makes me so special?” I ask.

“Everything,” he says expressionless, looking straight ahead. “You lead the way, I have no idea where we’re going in this store.”

Okay, he definitely likes me, right? There’s no way he just said that and doesn’t like me.

I wasn’t expecting that answer and I don’t know what exactly I should say to that in this moment. I grab his arm and linger for a second. I feel him tense up ever so slightly again, but I’m not sure he’s uncomfortable. I think he’s just nervous, unsure of what to do in response to my touch. I start gently pulling him in the direction we need to go.

I kneel down to look at the lash glue options. Vinnie stands behind me, waiting.

“Makeup is so weird when you think about it,” he says randomly.

I furrow my brows and cock my head to the side, smiling. “What?”

“Like… you just put stuff all over your face. Like colorful powders and liquids and shit.”

I look up at him and start giggling.

“What?” He laughs a little bit. “I’m serious. Like you’re literally looking at buying glue right now that specifically goes on your face. On your literal eyeballs. Glue.”

I start laughing. “It’s not on my ‘literal eyeballs’, you goofball.”

“Well still. I mean it obviously looks cool when it’s done but I’m just saying it’s weird when you sit and think about it,” he walks over to the blush and contour stuff beside us and starts fidgeting with some of the products.

“And everything has the weirdest name,” he picks up one of the blushes and shows me. “This one is literally called ‘deep throat’,” he says loudly. The woman standing a few feet away looks over at us.

“Shhh,” I laugh, looking down.

“And look at this one!” He picks another one up and shows me. “This is literally called ‘pussy galore’,” he says even louder.

“You’re gonna be deep throating my fist here a second if you don’t stop,” I say quietly, looking up at him. We make eye contact for a brief second before we both bust out laughing. My laughing causes me to lose my balance and I fall backwards on my ass, lightly hitting my head on the shelf behind me. This causes us both to laugh even harder.

I glance back over at the woman beside us. She rolls her eyes looking annoyed before walking away.

“Bye Karen,” I say under my breath, pushing myself back to my knees.

“What?” He asks, still chuckling, helping me up.

“That lady was just giving us a dirty look,” I say, nodding my head in her direction.

He looks around. “Who her?” He points at her.

“Yeah,” I say.

He waits until she looks in our direction again and lifts his arm up, waving dramatically. She’s genuinely confused, and looks behind her to see if he’s waving at someone else.

We both laugh and I shake my head at him.

“Come on goofy,” I say, fully standing up and pulling his arm to lead him to the next aisle.

We finish shopping and head back out to the car.

Vinnie takes a moment to text someone back.

“I guess we’re gonna drink tonight, are you in?” He asks me after a minute, still texting.

“Yeah, I’m down,” I shrug.

“Eamon is getting the alcohol now, is there anything specific you want him to get? Tequila?”

“Tequila,” we both say the word at the same time. He gives me a sly smile.

“How’d I know?” He asks sarcastically.

“You can read me like a book, Vincent.”

He chuckles. “Don Julio?”

lots of angst in this one and physical fighting. enjoy!

It’s been 3 days since I’ve talked to Vinnie or left the house. Preston has been here the entire time. His grandma’s funeral is tomorrow and Jorge is on vacation. So that just leaves Vinnie to be able to escort me.

I pick up the phone to call him.

“Hello?” He answers, his voice sounds raspy.

“Did I wake you?” I ask.

“Yeah, but it’s cool. You need me?”

“Yeah. Preston’s grandma’s funeral is tomorrow.”

“Okay. What time?”

“10am.”

“You driving yourself or taking a driver?”

“I was going to take a driver. It’s a little over an hour away in Santa Barbra.”

“I’ll be there bright and early,” he says.

“Okay,” I say.

There’s silence for a moment.

“Vinnie?” I say softly.

“I’m here.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he says.

I look behind me to see if Preston is near by then step outside on the balcony, closing the door behind me. “Are you upset about what happened?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like… are you upset about it? Any of it? I feel bad. None of it should have happened.” I say quietly.

He sighs. “I don’t regret it. Never will. Do you? You sound like you do.”

“It’s - it’s not regret. I just feel like it shouldn’t have happened.”

“Why? So you can get back with your boyfriend without feeling guilty?” He says harshly.

My heart sinks. “No, I just... I don’t know.”

“Listen, we’re grown adults. I’ll act dumb as a box of rocks if you want me to. I promise I won’t say a word to him about it.”

“That’s not what I meant, Vin.”

“Are you getting back with him?”

I think for a moment before answering. “I don’t know yet.”

He’s silent for a moment. “Well, whatever. You make your own choices. I’m gonna try and get more sleep, I was up all night. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He hangs up before I can say anything else.

I sigh. I don’t understand why he’s acting this way.

—

The next morning I wake up early and get ready, putting on a modest black dress, my favorite red bottom heels, natural makeup, and my put my hair into a nice bun.

I walk through the dining room and see Preston sitting at the table, looking out the window.

“Hey, are you ready?” I ask.

“Yeah, I guess,” he says standing.

“You look nice,” I walk over and straighten his jacket out a little and fix his crooked tie.

“Thank you,” he says and kisses my forehead.

The driver pulls up and we start to head outside. Vinnie pulls in shortly after.

He pulls up to where we are and rolls his window down.

“Hey, you riding with us? It’ll be easier since it’s a bit of a drive,” Preston says.

I tense up at the thought of having both of them in the car together for over an hour.

“No, I was gonna drive myself and follow behind,” Vinnie says.

I exhale a small sigh of relief.

“Don’t be silly! That’s a waste of your gas and time, just ride with us,” Preston says.

I get irritated but act cool.

“We don’t mind, do we honey?” Preston looks at me.

I give him my best fake smile. I haven’t told him Vinnie and I slept together and I don’t plan to. If I say Vinnie should ride alone, he’ll know something is up.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” I say.

Vinnie looks at me for a moment, with a small smile on his face. I know he’s putting 2 and 2 together that I haven’t said a word to Preston about what happened.

“Alright!” Vinnie says unusually loud. “Let’s go then.” He parks and walks over to us.

Preston goes on the other side of the car and Vinnie comes to where I’m standing. I can’t help but notice he looks nice. A black button up long sleeve shirt with black dress pants and black shoes. His shirt is tucked in.

God, black looks good on him.

My mind starts to wander briefly but I catch myself.

On the way to a funeral is not the time, y/n.

“You didn’t have to ride with us if you didn’t want to,” I say quietly to him.

“Oh it’s no big deal to me…” he says, smiling. “…honey,” he whispers in my ear opening the car door.

I shoot him a subtle harsh glance and then climb in. Vinnie gets in behind and shuts the door.

He leans back and puts his arm over the back of the seat behind me and spreads his legs apart so that his is touching mine. I know he’s doing it on purpose.

After a while of sitting in silence, Preston looks over at Vinnie.

“How you been, Vin?” He laughs. I know the goofball is laughing because he rhymed that.

Vinnie looks at him unamused. “Uhm. I’ve been good, I guess. How you been?”

“I was rough there for a while. Better now that I’ve been spending time with y/n again,” he smiles and nudges my arm. I smile up at him to be friendly, but I’m uncomfortable. “Although I expect today to be difficult, for obvious reasons.”

“Yeah. I was so sorry to hear about your grandma. I met her once, she seemed very kind,” Vinnie says.

“Thanks. It wasn’t a total surprise but it still sucks. She lived a long and happy life, though.”

Vinnie smiles and nods his head. “That’s what matters, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, that’s right,” Preston says. “Oh, did you have fun in New York?” He asks.

My heart skips a beat and I look down.

“Oh yeah I did! Tons of fun,” Vinnie laughs.

“What’d you do?”

“Tons of stuff. Went to the Museum of Natural History, took a few laps around Central Park.”

“Was the hotel nice?” Preston asks.

I look over at Vinnie. He briefly glances at me with a subtle smirk then looks back at Preston.

“Oh very nice. Beautiful views, they had this amazing grand staircase,” he smiles. “The beds were real comfortable.”

“Oh yeah, they are. Perfect for sleeping and… you know,” Preston smirks at him. “If you know what I mean.”

“Oh yeah, great for that too,” Vinnie laughs. “Or I imagine they would be.”

I’m gonna fucking kill both of them.

“Can we uh,” I clear my throat. “Can we not.. talk about hotel sex on the way to your granny’s funeral?” I look at Preston with an irritated smile.

“Sorry,” he widens his eyes like he’s offended. “Just making conversation,” he turns to look out of the window.

I sigh quietly and shift in my seat and move my legs from Vinnie, over toward Preston.

“How much longer?” I lean forward a bit to ask the driver.

He looks at the GPS. “About 40 minutes.”

I sit back again. “Wonderful.”

—

Once we arrive to the chapel, we walk inside and greet everyone. Vinnie waits in the back of the grand room.

Once the service starts, it’s a usual funeral scene. I’m crying, Preston is crying. Half of the room is crying.

Once it’s over, people stand and start chatting. The plan is to head to Preston’s parents house for the repast.

I make my rounds, greeting everyone and giving my condolences. Soon, the place starts clearing out.

I walk to Vinnie.

“Hey, have you seen Preston?” I ask.

“Um, last I saw he went in that direction,” he said pointing to the back hallway.

“Thank you.”

“Mhmm,” he nods.

I walk back there and peak into a few of the rooms. I can’t find him anywhere.

I walk to the bathroom at the end of the hall, and knock. It’s silent so I try to open the door, but it’s locked.

I knock again and put my ear up to it. I hear laughing and whispering on the other side. And suddenly my heart sinks. I have a feeling it’s Preston and some girl.

I knock again, but louder.

“Someone’s in here!” I hear a female voice.

“Open the door, please,” I say.

“What? No, I’m using the bathroom.”

“Alright, I’ll wait.”

Silence. I know the asshole is in there. After 5 minutes, I knock again.

“You doing okay?” I ask.

“Yeah,” she says again. “There’s another bathroom down the hall.”

“I’d like to use this one,” I say. “I’m not leaving until I do.”

Silence again and another 5 minutes pass. Vinnie comes around the corner and gives me a confused look.

“What are you doing? Everyone’s pretty much gone now. Where’s Preston?” He asks.

I nod my head toward the door trying to hold back tears. “I’m 99% sure he’s in there with some woman.”

He brows come together and he looks angry. He walks over and practically beats on the door.

“Preston, the gig is up you idiot. Come out now,” he says loudly.

Nothing but silence again.

Vinnie laughs a little. “You’re literally not getting out of this one. You’re caught. Come out, y/n is waiting.”

Finally the door opens slowly and Preston and a woman are standing in the doorway.

“Are you serious?” I ask him, trying my hardest not to cry.

“She spilled a drink on her shirt and I was just helping her clean it off,” he says innocently. Her shirt is wet.

“Why the hell wouldn’t you talk to me then?”

“Cause I knew you’d freak out with me being in the room with another woman since you apparently don’t trust me anymore,” he scoffs.

I sigh. I want to believe him. I mean her shirt is wet. I don’t know.

“Okay…” I say. “Well come on I guess. Everyone has already left to go to your parents.”

Vinnie looks at me in disbelief but I ignore him.

Preston comes out of the bathroom and we begin to walk down the hallway. Suddenly Vinnie pulls him back and pushes him against the wall.

“Vin!” I say, looking at him angrily.

“Why’s there lipstick on your neck?” He asks Preston, almost nose to nose, grabbing his shirt collar and pulling it down.

I come around to look and sure enough, there’s a red lipstick smear right on his neck.

I look over at the woman and she’s got on red lipstick.

In this moment I feel a mix of relief and anger. Relief because I don’t think I want to be with Preston and this is my ticket out. Anger because I was truly ready to trust the asshole a second time. How could he betray my trust again and make me look so stupid?

Preston gets angry and pushes Vinnie back. “Don’t fucking touch me!”

Vinnie laughs and puts his hands up as if to surrender. “You’re caught. Again.”

Preston shakes his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I sigh, and tears fall from my eyes. “Explain it,” I say.

Preston looks at me for a moment and then shrugs. “She hugged me earlier, it must have gotten on me.”

I look over at the woman and she’s looking down. “Is that true?” I ask.

She just nods, still looking down. She looks guilty.

I feel a rush of anger. They’re not gonna make me look fucking stupid.

I walk toward the woman, practically pushing her against the wall. “Don’t fucking lie to me, bitch.”

She looks at me like she’s scared then looks at Preston. I grab her face and point it back toward me. “Don’t look at him. Did you fuck him?”

She just stares at me.

“I’m gonna ask nicely one more fucking time. And then I’m gonna get physical with you. Did you fuck him?” I say as calmly as I can.

She nods yes.

I step back and look at Preston. He’s standing there, angry. I laugh and shake my head.

“At your grandma’s funeral? Really?” I say.

“Y/n, she’s lying,” he says, getting upset. “She’s fucking lying.”

The woman scoffs and starts crying. “No I’m not! And this isn’t the first time, we’ve been together for weeks now! He keeps telling me he loves me and that you’re acting crazy and won’t let him leave!”

“Jesus Preston. You’re actually a piece of shit,” I laugh in disbelief. “We’re done. Way done. I don’t ever want to see or speak to you again. Whatever of yours is left at my house, I’ll mail it to you. Your number is getting blocked.”

I turn to walk away and he grabs my arm, pulling me back. “You’re not leaving me like this! Not today, not at my grandma’s funeral!”

I try to pull my arm back but he won’t let me. “Let me go, Preston.”

He starts to cry. “No! Please don’t leave me, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, y/n. I don’t know why I am the way I am but I can change. I need your help, I’m gonna die without you!”

“Let me go, Preston,” I say again, calmly.

Anger fills his eyes. “No.” He starts to drag me forward.

“Preston, stop! You’re hurting my arm, let me go!” I keep trying to yank my arm back.

“No!” He turns and yells at me and pushes me hard against the wall pinning me there. “You’re not leaving!”

Vinnie walks over and wraps his arm around Preston’s neck in a chokehold and pulls him away from me.

“She’s fucking leaving,” he says to Preston, calmly.

Preston pushes back and pulls away from Vinnie, looking at him with rage filled eyes.

He brings his hand back and punches Vinnie in the face.

“Preston!” I yell.

Vinnie holds his jaw for a second then let’s out an angry laugh. “I’ve been waiting on this opportunity.”

He grabs Preston by his shirt collar and pushes him hard against the wall, punching him.

Preston looks like he’s stunned but quickly comes back around and swings at Vinnie again.

“Stop it guys! Stop!” I beg.

They end up on the floor, rolling back and forth landing punches to each other trying to pin each other down. Vinnie mostly stays on top and is definitely winning.

One of the funeral directors hears the ruckus and comes around the corner.

“Hey, hey, hey!” He walks over to try to break them apart.

Vinnie practically has Preston pinned.

“You’re gonna leave her alone, do you understand me?” He yells, pressing Preston’s neck against the floor. “You come to her house or even fucking text her I will literally fucking kill you, you grimy fucking asshole. Do you understand?”

Preston is having trouble breathing at this point, trying to push Vinnie off of him.

“Vinnie stop!” I beg again.

“Answer me, you prick!” He yells.

Preston nods his head and Vinnie finally gets off of him. He lands one last open hand slap across Preston’s face before standing up.

Preston says on the floor rolling around in pain and the funeral director is standing back in shock, just staring at us.

I look at Vinnie. He stares at me trying to catch his breath. His hair is a mess and his lip is bleeding.

I suddenly feel a massive amount of affection for him. And I feel turned on.

this part is not as exciting but it’s crucial to the story line. i appreciate you guys. enjoy!

key terms for those unfamiliar:

Money laundering/washing - basically you take the money you make from illegal activities and funnel it through a legitimate source (like a legal business) so that you can disguise the money as legal profit and spend it without raising suspicion from the government. if you ever watched breaking bad, that’s what they were doing with the car wash.

Grey market - where authentic products are sold through an unauthorized source. not technically illegal but it is frowned upon.

Black market - most know this one but it’s basically illegal selling and trading of all kinds of stuff

i recommend looking them up if you’re still not sure, you can get more in depth explanations. :) but hopefully this makes sense as these will be recurring terms.

I start to panic. I have no fucking explanation. No lie is going to get me out of this. I’m caught red handed.

I feel my cheeks flush red from adrenaline. “I uhm… I was just looking at it.”

He starts laughing and the draws his brows together. “Yeah? You broke into my safe to look at my watch?”

“Yes,” I barely squeak out.

“Come on. I’m not fucking stupid… despite what you say about me when you think no one can hear,” he pushes the gun harder against me. “What were you doing?”

Should I just be honest? Maybe if I’m honest he’ll just let me leave.

I swallow. “I was gonna take it,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady.

“You were gonna steal from me?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“I need the money,” I say quietly.

He puts the gun down, and stares at me for a moment like he’s thinking. “This is your job, isn’t it? What you said was your sales job?”

“Yeah.”

“How often do you do this?”

“Twice a week at least.”

He scoffs and grabs my wrist, pulling me out into the living room. “Sit down,” he demands.

I obey and sit on the couch, looking down at my hands.

“So what’s your strategy?” He asks, crossing his arms and sitting in the chair across from me with the gun sitting on the arm rest next to him.

“Like how do I do it?”

“Yeah. Who are your targets, what’s your game plan going into this shit? Is it just people? Do you rob stores too?”

“It’s just people. Men.”

“Mhmm,” he eggs me on.

“We look for -“

“We?” He asks.

I sigh. “Me and my friend Madison. We look for guys who are drunk and have something expensive on them. Like nice clothes, or shoes -“

“Or a 120,000 dollar watch,” he smirks.

$120,000? Fuck me.

“Yeah,” I say softly. “Things that can be taken easily.”

“And then what? You sell them?”

“Yeah.”

“To who?”

“Anyone who will buy them. Lesser, untraceable things like a Gucci jacket can go on eBay or even Facebook marketplace for anywhere from 100-500. Truly big ticket items are rare… like your watch. But for any jewelry or higher end speciality item worth more than 2,500 dollars, I have a guy.”

“A guy?”

“Yeah. He works at this place that functions like a business on the surface but does a lot of grey and black market trading under the table,” I say.

“How much would you have gotten for this?” He asks, holding the watch up.

“If that’s truly worth 120,000 then I would have gotten around 30,000.”

He laughs and shakes his head. “How much money do you make in an average week then?”

“Anywhere from a few hundred dollars to 18,000. 18,000 was our biggest score, that was a couple months ago,” I glance down at his watch then back up at him. “We average around 6,000 a week, though. But it’s split between us, 60/40. 60% of the profit to whichever one of us scored the item or items, 40% to the other. It’s a team effort.”

“And how do you typically go about getting these items? Because I know they’re not just handing the shit over. Do you have sex with all of them?”

“Oh god no,” I shake my head. “I’m not a fucking prostitute.”

“Oh, so I was special?” He smirks at me.

I roll my eyes. “You’re handsome and nice enough. Or so I thought. And… it’s been a few months. I thought why not? No different than a normal one night stand.”

“Except for the part where you try to rob me of my favorite piece of jewelry.”

I smile. “Yeah, except for that part.”

“So how do you get the shit then?”

“We usually drug the men once we get them alone. When they’re knocked out, we clean them out for whatever they’ve got.”

His eyes widen. “Damn.”

“Yeah. But sometimes we get lucky and they leave the room to do something like take a shower, for example, and we snag what we can and run. I know it’s ironic but we try to do things as ethically as possible. We avoid physical interventions and harm where we can.”

“You’ve never been caught?” He asks.

“No.”

“How?”

“We only hit up very specific clubs in a sort of cycle. Most of the time we’re not even in Miami. We have to travel far.”

“The men you rob don’t report you?”

“Even if they do, I give them a fake name and I’m from out of town. Police don’t really care about thieves as much as you’d think. They’re not gonna send out a search party for some guy’s Louis V fanny pack.”

He chuckles.

“But honestly most men are too embarrassed to make a police report the next day anyway, so it usually slides,” I say.

“So what’s your real name then?”

I hesitate to tell him.

He sighs and points the gun at me, raising his eyebrows.

I look away and roll my eyes. “Y/n.”

“Do you even live in Miami then?”

“I do.”

“Okay… and 6,000 dollars a week. You said you split that 60/40?”

“Yeah.”

“So, let’s make it simple and split that evenly. So you personally make an average of 3,000 dollars a week. 12,000 a month. We’ll round and say about 140,000 a year. All untaxed, of course.”

I never realized it was so much.

“Yeah. I guess so,” I shrug.

“That’s actually pretty impressive, little lady,” he smiles at me.

This confuses me. “You’re impressed?”

“Yeah,” he shrugs. “How do you launder it?”

“Launder it?” I ask.

“Yeah. And do you work an actual job or is this really all you do?”

“I don’t launder it. And this is all I do.”

“How do you spend it, then?”

“Um… honestly, I don’t really. I just pay the basic bills. I still live with my step mom, Lisa. I do buy myself little things here and there. Nice shoes, a nice dress. I take little vacations. Things that don’t require paperwork.”

He stares at me for a moment as if he’s in shock. “So you’re content just living with your step mom?”

“No. Not at all.”

“Do you wanna spend your money? Be able to do things like get a nice place of your own?”

“Well, yeah.”

He thinks for a moment and then smiles at me. “I can help with that.”

I furrow my brows and cock my head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“Remember how I said I help rich people manage their money?”

“Mhmm,” I nod.

“Well…” he shrugs.

It suddenly hits me. “Oh! What? You launder money?”

“Usually for people far, far wealthier than you. But, I really like you,” he says, smiling. “So I’d be willing to help you if you’re interested.”

“Really?” I ask.

“Mhmm.”

I sit back and think for a minute. “How can I trust you?”

“I could be asking you the same thing,” he says.

I stare at him for a moment. His demeanor is relaxed, patiently waiting on my decision.

“And if I say no?” I ask.

He shrugs. “You’d be stupid to say no but that’s your choice.”

I glance at the gun, then back up at him.

He looks down at it. “I’m not going to use this unless I have to. You’re free to say no and leave now,” he looks back up at me. “But I hope you say yes. You won’t regret it. I could do a lot for you, y/n.”

I take a deep breath and run my fingers through my hair. “Can I think about it?”

“Sure. Take all the time you need.”

I nod. “Okay. I’m um… I’m gonna leave then. I’ll let you know in a few days.”

He sighs and looks slightly disappointed. “Okay.”

I stand up. “My bag is in your office.”

“Be my guest,” he says, gesturing toward the hallway.

I grab my bag and come back out, slipping my heels back on by the front door.

“You got a ride or something?” He asks, walking over to me.

“Yeah. Madison is a few streets over waiting on me.”

He laughs and shakes his head. “Team effort, huh?”

“Yeah. We never do this alone.”

He steps a little closer to me and grabs my hand, opening it. He hands me a folded piece of paper. “Call this number if you decide to.”

“Who’s number is it?” I ask.

“My burner,” he says softly. As he looks down at me, I can feel his breath against my face.

I put the piece of paper in the side zipper of my purse.

“I do hope you say yes. And even if you don’t, I’d still love to see you sometime. Maybe I can take you on a proper date. Hopefully you don’t try to rob me again,” he chuckles. “But that’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

His hand comes up and moves my hair to rest behind my shoulder and he places his hand on the side of my neck. His eye contact and touch make my core start to throb again. I can feel the heat radiating from his body.

I take a deep breath, smiling at him. “Maybe.”

I turn around and open the front door.

“You want me to walk you to her car? It’s late, and there are crazy people on the streets. Someone might try to rob you or something,” he says in a serious tone.

I roll my eyes playfully and smile. “Oh you’re real funny.”

He starts laughing and I pull my gun out of my purse, pushing it against his chest, catching him off guard. He freezes. The fearful look he’s giving me makes me giggle.

tumblr is being stupid again and the font and spacing won’t cooperate so sorry again if this posts weird. anyway, continued mentions of blood, vomiting and death with some angst. enjoy 👀

I see blood spattered against the house. Luke and Vinnie are both on the ground, and I have no idea who has been shot. If it was Luke, if it was Vinnie, or if it was both of them.

I jerk my head to the side, taking my eyes off the scene in front of me. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to see. I don’t want to fucking exist.

The urge to vomit is too much to suppress now and I run to the opposite side of the road and drop down to my hands and knees, throwing up into the grass.

My mind goes blank again. No thoughts. Just the sound of the gun shot playing over and over again in my head.

After a moment, Jett comes up and touches my back.

“Y/n -“ he starts to say.

“Is he dead?!” I cut him off, looking up him. His face is white and his eyes are wide. He looks sick. I’m terrified of the answer that’s about to come out of his mouth.

God please don’t let him be dead.

Jett shakes his head. “No, they shot Luke.”

And just like a switch went off my body once again, I feel like I’m floating as a huge wave of relief washes over me.

“So he’s okay?” I ask in a hopeful tone, standing up to look back at the house.

Vinnie is being helped up from the ground by one of the officers.

He’s okay. Thank god, he’s okay.

—

It’s been 2 1/2 months since everything happened with Luke. Vinnie and I had an important conversation a few days after the ordeal.

—

Flashback

Vinnie 8:23 pm

I’m here

I put my shoes on and head out of my front door, walking to Vinnie’s car.

“Hey, Vin,” I say as I get in, smiling at him. He gives me a half hearted smile back.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, furrowing my eyebrows.

“I uh - I can’t do this,” he says, looking down. He looks like he’s trying to hold back tears.

“Do what?” I ask, grabbing his arm gently.

He shakes his head and looks out of the window beside him. “I don’t know. I don’t think we should be around each other anymore.”

I feel a lump form in my throat. “Why?” I ask, my voice sounding a little hoarse.

“I’m not a good person,” he says in the most monotone voice he could muster.

“What?” I say, confused.

“I’m not a good person. I have anger issues and I’m stupid and you deserve way better than me. I’m just not a good person to be around sometimes and you don’t need to be here the next time I fuck up. I almost cost us our lives.”

“Vinnie, please. We went through a lot the other day. It’s not your fault. You did what you did to help me. I’m genuinely terrified to know what my future held for me if you weren’t there to help me. I’m so fucking grateful for you.” 

“Yeah but that could have been handled in a way that didn’t almost kill us. If anything, what happened was just instant karma for me allowing you guys to set yourselves up to potentially get caught lying to the cops - which, by the way, carries a 6 month minimum prison sentence and a will 100% lead to a fucking felony on your record. I looked it up last night. It was all wrong, and I’m ashamed I allowed for it to happen. I’m just sorry you guys had to end up as innocent bystanders to my idiocy.”

I sit in silence for a moment trying to think of the right thing to say but I don’t think there is anything I can say to help him. He needs help that I can’t give him. 

“Did you call that therapist?” I ask. 

He rolls his eyes. “No, and I don’t think I’m going to. It won’t help.”

“I haven’t either. But I am going to. It will help. Please go, Vinnie. Please.”

He shakes his head no. “I’m just done with everything. I’m not doing this anymore and I’m not arguing about it.”

“Don’t say things like that,” I say, tears starting to well up in my eyes. I blink to try and hold them back.

“Don’t worry, I’m not like… gonna hurt myself or anything but this,” he waves his hand in a circular motion, “is not going to continue.”

I feel anger creep in, and scoff. “Well, you can’t just cut me off after everything we went through!”

“I can and I’m going to. It’s for your own good,” he says, still looking out of the window.

“You can try buddy, but I’m not going anywhere,” I insist, crossing my arms.

He shakes his head, sighing. “Just go back inside. This conversation is over. I’m tired and want to go home.”

I shake my head at him in disbelief. “I’m not leaving this car until I know you’re okay.”

“I am okay, I just don’t want to be around you anymore.”

“I feel like this is my fault,” I say, crying now.

“It’s not your fault. I just told you how I feel. You need to leave. Talk to your therapist, you’ll get over it,” he says coldly.

My stomach knots up. “Whatever,” I say getting out of the car, slamming the door as hard as I can. I start to walk away and then turn back, opening it again.

“And one more thing - you can’t make me stay away. Your friends are my friends, pal. You’re stuck with me even if you won’t talk to me. And I’m gonna be a friend to you, whether you like it or not.” I shut the door again then storm off into the house.

—

Since that conversation, Vinnie has been really distant from me. From everyone, really, but especially me. In fact, I haven’t spoken to him at all and I’ve only been around him twice since then. I’m extremely frustrated by it but at the same time, I’m trying to be understanding. He seems like he’s really going through it. I mean of course he is. He had a gun held to his fucking head and had someone die right beside him.

Almost everything he posts online is sad. On the rare occasion he does stream, he’s in a bad mood the whole time. But I don’t know what I can do about any of it. I’ve tried reaching out but he won’t respond. I can’t help him if he won’t help himself.

I find myself looking through his tiktoks and YouTube, rewatching his old videos. It’s the very first thing I do every single morning. As soon as I open my eyes, he’s the first thing on my mind. I go straight to see if he’s posted anything, then I scroll for a while until I find something happy and I try to suck whatever happiness I can out of that. And every night I fall asleep rewatching his old streams. It sounds pathetic when I sit back and reflect on it, and it’s not healthy. But I swear it’s the only thing that brings me any peace or happiness at this point.

I’m standing in front of the microwave waiting on my soup to heat up. I feel antsy today. I mean, I feel fucking antsy every day but especially today. I’m supposed to go over to the hype house tonight, they’re having another get together. The first one since everything happened.

My phone dings, and I quickly reach for it. I roll my eyes and sigh when I realize it’s not Vinnie. Every single time I check my phone, I’m hoping it’s him but it never is anymore. It’s getting to the point that I don’t even anyone else to text me or call me because it just gets my hopes up.

“I should just throw this stupid phone away,” I say to myself while opening the message.

Liza 6:45pm

Hey, are you coming over tonight?

Y/n 6:46pm

Yeah, what time should I be there?

Liza 6:52pm

Around 8 is fine. Are you ubering or driving?

Y/n 6:54pm

Ubering. I plan on getting wasted tonight lol

Liza 6:56pm

Hey, whatever makes you happy! Lol

I eat real fast then head upstairs to take a shower and start getting ready. Once I’m done I head back downstairs to get my stuff together and order an Uber.

“Oops forgot something,” I say to myself, then run back upstairs to spritz a little bit of that Daisy perfume Vinnie likes. Just in case.

Not long after, the driver arrives and takes me to their house.

I don’t see Vinnie’s car in the driveway as we pull up, which is an immediate hit to my slightly hopeful mood. I sigh, and get out of the car.

“Thank you,” I say, shutting the car door. I walk up to the house and head inside. Plenty of people are here, as usual.

“Hey!” Liza is the first to greet me.

“Hey, Liza,” I say, smiling.

No Idea by Don Toliver just started playing through the speakers in the living room, which is one of my favorite songs. That lifts my mood back up a little bit.

“Do you want a drink now?” She asks.

“Sure, what do you have?”

“Uh, we have white claws, Coronas, tequila, and some fireball.”

“You already know I want the tequila,” I smirk at her.

She laughs. “Over there,” she points to it.

I walk over and grab one of the little plastic shot cups and open the tequila bottle, pouring a shot while moving my head a little to the music.

Jett walks up from behind me.

“Hey, Jett,” I say softly, smiling.

“Hey, y/n.” He smiles back. Luckily Jett seems to have handled the whole situation well, and we’ve talked often since everything happened. He did what I did and got himself into therapy pretty much right away. No reason to go through something like that and not accept support to deal with the emotional aftermath.

“How are you?” I ask.

“I’m as good as I can be. Not too bad,” he says opening a beer. “How are you?”

“I’m alright,” I say shrugging and walking over to the fridge to get a sprite as a chaser. I pop it open and take the shot, then drink the sprite.

“Bleh,” I say, shaking my head. “I never get used to that.”

Jett and I both laugh. “Yeah, me either,” he says.

Jack comes over and asks Jett some question about his car that I didn’t understand so I took the opportunity to walk away. I love Jett but I’m already feeling antisocial. It’s gonna be a long night.

I head toward the bathroom, which is already occupied. I sigh as I wait outside the door. People keep passing by me the in the hallway, giving me a pitiful little smile. Like they feel bad for me for what happened. I don’t know why but I fucking hate when people pity me.

I smile back at everyone sarcastically as they pass by. That 1 shot already has me feeling some angst. I need to get to a place by myself ASAP so I head back down the hallway I came. As I turn the corner, I accidentally bump into someone.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I grab the person’s arm, looking up at them.