#vigilante problems

Okay, let's talk about how these disaster vigilantes absolutely DESTROY the Starbucks mobile ordering system every single time:

🦇 BRUCE: A straightforward black coffee. Venti. No room. Black as his soul and his bank account is deep. Probably tips $20 because Alfred taught him manners.

🤡 JASON: Grande White Chocolate Mocha with EXTRA whipped cream, rainbow sprinkles, and a cake pop. He tries to look tough ordering it but the barista KNOWS he's secretly a giant softie. Half the whipped cream ends up on his nose and he doesn't even care. Absolute chaotic disaster energy.

🦉 DICK: Some impossibly complicated iced caramel macchiato with an extra shot, upside down, light ice, "and can you make a smiley face in the caramel, please?" He charms the baristas so hard they always comply.

🦇 TIM: THIS ABSOLUTE CAFFEINE GREMLIN. Trenta cold brew. TRENTA. Four extra shots. Liquid sugar. Optional electrolyte powder. Basically just straight caffeine with a HINT of beverage. The baristas look terrified when he walks up. Probably hasn't slept in 72 hours.

🗡️ DAMIAN: THE MOST BOUGIE ORDER IN EXISTENCE. Quad shot, half-caf, sugar-free vanilla, oat milk cappuccino with exactly 2.5 pumps of syrup, at 127 degrees, in a ceramic mug (he brings his own), with the foam precisely sculpted into a bat symbol. Takes 15 minutes to order. Looks dead serious the entire time.

(I hope you don’t mind me publishing this. It got kind of long and rambling.)

Oliver tries, he really does, and he’s slowly getting better, but he’s just not a good instructor in the vigilante arts yet. :)

I tend to use the “mediocre mentor” tag for scenes when he employs the techniques that his teachers on the island – Yao Fei, Shado, Slade – used on him with his own students. But Helena and Roy and Barry (and, arguably, now Ray) don’t need the same kind of harsh kill-or-be-killed training, and it’s not actually helpful for the situations they’re in now.