#vett

oh vett's so fucked up post-edw. there's so much. like on the one hand he's Better (as in, not deeply angry and not lashing out at people and not, like, desperately clawing at the walls for someone to save him) but on the other hand he is DEEPLY traumatized lmfao. mid-endwalker he has his therapy arc (going to elpis) after blowing up at his sister because of the lopporits, and when he comes back he's like, more Stable at least, but still like. kind of a mess. because you don't exactly just get over four years of carrying the weight of the entire world on your teenage shoulders over the course of like a day.

but after ultima thule? lol. lol

like okay i've said it before that he's, like, Better after endwalker. like just generally. and partially that's true, because he's FINALLY given a break, and there's some semblance of normalcy and no world-ending conflict he has to deal with, so he can rest and recover after not really having the space for that since he was 13. but there's so much trauma. both physical and mental. so let's get into that!

for starters, there's the abandonment problem. because while vett can rationalize what happened in ultima thule and why everyone did what they did, he finds himself with this all-consuming fear that it will happen again. estinien left him. zii (his older sister, for those who don't know) left him. the twins left him. and they said it was for him. just so he could go on. so he could save everyone. but alphinaud did not listen when vett said that there was no happiness at journey's end without alphinaud and alisaie. didn't listen even when vett begged them not to go, even though there was no other way. and it's hard for him to trust when alphinaud says he'll come home after a trip to garlemald. he finds it hard to trust that alisaie will call every day like she says she will, even though she does. because they promised to go on together in ultima thule. because alisaie promised, back in stormblood, that they would carry on together. and then they left him alone there, to save the world by himself. and it's really hard to come back from that, even if he can rationalize it, even if they did come back, even if they do keep their promises. and it's going to take a long time for him to get over it. but for now, post endwalker, he's trying. :(

secondly! there's the dying. because vett has died 7 times, and been brought back. once to lahabrea in ARR, five times to ravana, and once to zenos in ultima thule. and thanks to hydaelyn and the elementals and his own strength, he got out of those first six with some gnarly scars and trauma but not much else. but the seventh time is the kicker, apparently, because when he wakes up on the ragnarok, he is NOT fine. the only reason he survived at all was meteion. her attachment to him was so strong that she tied her soul to his to drag his soul back from death, but his body was another problem entirely. when he returns back to etheirys, his ability to manipulate aether is MASSIVELY reduced, to the point where he can't cast any magic and in fact can hardly stand. he's bedridden for weeks, just trying to get back to being able to take care of himself, but it is an uphill battle that makes him miserable. he does physical therapy and practices small magic every day, but it takes weeks, if not months for him to regain a fraction of his original strength. he has chronic pain (sorry for projecting but it's fibromyalgia. i can do whatever i want) and chronic fatigue, but he's headstrong and can't stand to have other people taking care of him (because he's the healer! that's his job!) so he works very hard to get better. not that it ever goes away, but to make it manageable.

not to worry! he does get his ability to use magic back. and most of his strength as well! things just hurt more. he can't handle as much physical stuff as he used to. however!!! tataru gives him a fucking island. and tells him to take alphinaud (and meteion because she goes everywhere with him now) and go on a vacation. and vett isn't into it at first. he doesn't want to go. he's like "can't i just stay at home. i'm too tired for this" and tries to get out of it. he's depressed. but alisaie practically drags him out to go, insisting that he needs sunshine and alisaie knows that it'll make him feel better, and vett can't tell her no. so he goes.

and dammit, it does make him feel better.

the island sanctuary becomes one of vett's favorite places in the world. he tinkers with all the mammets because they were based off of models he made. he spends so much time tending to the garden and going out collecting stuff and tending the animals. all while alphinaud watches, usually from a distance while reading a book, peeking over the top to see vett practically frolicking around having fun and playing. and then alphy gets dragged down to the ocean, of course, protesting while vett drags him out into the water. :) they finally get to act like teenagers like they should've been able to all along. like they should've been able to when they met. and it makes me soooooo. wailing and crying

oh yeah, and alphivett wedding. :') which happened before island sanctuary but i only just remembered it now so it goes here. sorry i'll shut up about them in a minute i'm just wailing about my little guys a bit. it's my birthday i can be abnormal about them even if it's embarrassing it's fine.

so yeah vett gets his fairy tale wedding like he wanted since he was a toddler. he's a mess through the whole thing (trying not to cry constantly even though he's already crying) and it's very sweet and zii also cries through the whole thing. i wrote the vows once and it made me explode into a million pieces.

ANYWAY OKAY MOVING ON FROM MY SCRUNKLIES. as dawntrail draws closer and there is beginning to be some chatter about the warriors of light (vett and zii) going to tural, vett starts to panic. because he did not think about the idea of having to be A Warrior Of Light™ again. and the prospect terrifies him. because he is not as strong as he used to be. he feels like he can't go back to being that. yes he's still the most powerful white mage alive but that doesn't mean he's, like, strong enough to go traipsing around foreign countries and getting into trouble anymore. he's a disabled, traumatized, deeply tired 20 year old now and he doesn't think he can bear the weight anymore. when he was 16 and didn't know any better and just wanted to help, he would've been just fine, but it's different now. it's so different. he's been through so much.

so! from stage right! in comes vincent fowler. one of zii's childhood best friends. one of the two azure dragoons. a trustworthy scion and friend. an older and more experienced and endlessly kind man who vett believes in and trusts with his life. and with his sister's life.

he asks vincent to meet him in sharlayan one night. and they sit down by the docks and vett begs vincent to help him. to save him. to take his place. and vincent doesn't even hesitate to say yes. because at the end of the day, vett is a kid. vincent knew him when he was a toddler. it's so hard for vincent to watch him suffer at all, and for vett to trust him enough to ask for him to take his place is an honor, and took so much courage. and vincent loves him. so the torch is passed, and vett is free.

so, from now on, vett gets to tend his island, and he'll be doing the cosmic exploration in dawntrail with meteion, and maybe having a little cameo in tural just to see the sights, and he'll be eagerly waiting to hear from zii and alphinaud and alisaie and vincent, and most of all, he will be resting. he will be getting better.

closing this out with the art that mikhail (my lovely asker who i am so grateful to, both for the art and the space to talk about this AND just for being my lovely friend who i adore) gave me for my birthday. which made me cry so so soso much