#venus-haze

VI. When do you title your fics? Before you write them? As you write them? While posting to AO3 and that “Work Title” field is staring at you? — i title them either before or during i write. sometimes i can't get a word out until i have a title. which has kept me from writing before but i neeeeedddd a title.

hey battie!!

this is an au that i've had in my brain for years but is taking forever to get on the page — it's a moonrise kingdom au! i don't have much written, but the plot exists fully in my head where dallas is twelve and is in a reformatory he hates and meets ponyboy, who's been living in tulsa and is very miserable because he misses home in philly but after his father committed a heinous crime he can't go back home. they meet, and like the movie, they exchange letters until they both come up with the idea to meet dallas' cousin, get married, and run away together.

the fic is from the main pov not of dallas and pony—it's helen, dallas' older sister who's trying really hard to gain custody of him and mrs. jennifer curtis, world's most stressed out single mother with a smoking habit who still loves her incarcerated husband but knows they cannot raise a child together right now. she also has two older sons who feel betrayed she left and menelaus, who is atreus' son who loves pony but she had to leave behind in philly with his birth mother.

a lot of it is humorous—pony and dallas are the most serious twelve and thirteen year old kids who are also very lonely and don't have faith in things working out beyond their control while being weird little kids—while it's also about helen and jennifer bonding and seeing pony and dallas' bond grow over letters, it's about jennifer having to navigate a tough position, mene winding up with helen when he joins the search, and it's about the degree of trauma present in canon that doesn't have a neat little bow at the end. i know i want to have one scene where pony and dallas come across johnny fleeing his mother and they leave with the uneasy feeling johnny might not make it.

it's a fic i need to take more time with because i'm not sure how to present the letters but i know the ending will have jennifer and atreus reconciling somewhat, helen and mene are together, helen will get custody of dallas and pony will get to have dallas in his life under less strenuous circumstances.

but also just. jennifer and atreus <3

5. What was your relationship with books like as a child? my strongest relationship in life has been between me and books, always and forever. i just don't pontificate about it but my parents would just let me go in waldenbooks or borders and come get me at the end of the day lol

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)? — nope. no pleasure should be guilty! i love what i like and i like playing. with the corners of my id (gender play! historical settings! devotional relationships!)

F: Share a snippet from one of your favourite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why you're proud of it.

i'm not gonna quote the whole thing, but i really enjoy the exchange atreus has with dallas in "them changes." the premise is that atreus saves dallas in his very, uh, atreus way and i like it a lot.

"I see that in your face right now. You want to do something so desperate now that whatever hurt you before can't hurt you now. You want to just destroy anything and everything, including yourself to fix whatever hurt you before. I'm not going to allow it," Atreus leans over the counter, uncaring of the gun. "You can't have this money. You're not going to shoot me. You're not going to throw your life away because you're in pain. Not so long as I have a say about it." "So what, you're going to call the cops?" The boys sneers, his sharp alpha teeth snapping just like Vincenzo's did whenever they argued. "You're gonna let them lock me up? Send me to a fuckin' boys home? Or drag me to church for a charity case? What do you even get out of helping people, huh?" Atreus can see his eyes are shining with tears he can't shed. "No. I'm not going to do any of that. If you give me that gun, I'm going to throw it away and you're going to come home with me. I have two sons – they're around your age and you're going to come and have breakfast with us, you're going to let us tend to your wounds, and you're going to get a good day of sleep. If you're really intent on killing yourself or throwing it all away, you can at least think clearer after you've slept." He can tell that something in his words is working as the gun lowers half a centimeter, as the boy steps back. "You don't have to stay longer than a day, if you don't want to. But if you stay with us for a day, we'll give you breakfast, lunch, dinner. A fresh shower, some clothes, and some food. You don't even have to tell us your name or why you're in trouble. You just have to give me the gun, sit down, and we can be on the bus in the next ten minutes." The boy's jaw trembles, his hand shakes. He looks incredulous, and angry and scared, and his fangs flash at Atreus again. "I've got a bullet in here —" "Then shoot me. Shoot me." Atreus grabs the gun, aims it at his chest. "Fire, then. Take the money. Throw your whole fucking life away." The boy looks shocked, and his hand grasps the gun, grasps the trigger.

quitting that bullshit seasonal job has made me really happy.

"the haunting of valance manor." i really enjoy writing this fic and i'm happy to get back to it big time.

being able to enjoy myself in general. i've made some strides lately in that, and i'm happy some of my confidence and joy has been restored.

weed <3 lmfao. i like being able to check out of his hellscape for a bit.

👋🏾👋🏾

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered — most of them. every iteration of johnny/dallas, darry/paul, tim/dallas, curly/pony, mark/angela? filtered to hell and back. the musical for the most part when they bother to fucking tag it. usernames of annoying users. almost every major musical actor. i also have lots of popular fandoms filtered like destiel, bbc sherlock et al banished to the shadow realm.