#vent warning

The fact that someone even asked…actually makes me feel better. I try to keep my life mostly private because people expect that from internet users, but I kind of want to spill a little of what’s been happening and get it off my chest.

In short, I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease in August, and it’s been absolutely kicking my butt, even after 6 months later. This is also combined with another chronic illness that I’ve had since puberty that I will not go into detail about, and the two heavily conflict with each other.

Basically, my gastroenterologist simply diagnosed the problem, only got me my medicine after constant nagging by me, and a follow up appointment was never made. The medicine seemed to only work for two months, and I’m still waiting to go to my new appointment this next week.

Crohn’s leaves me with very little energy for anything, both physically and mentally. And I work the most hours during June, July, and August, with most times not getting home until between 5-6:00pm. I have to make my own food because my intestines and stomach can’t handle most food anymore, which also takes time out of my day as well as take care of my dog, and even my mother, who is just as sick as I am. After all of that, it’s pretty much time to go to bed for the next day if I don’t want to be sleep deprived.

I just haven’t had the time or energy to draw anything lately. Not that it matters since the internet seems to put down anything anyone does. You can’t enjoy anything, poorly written or not. You can’t even be in a fandom without being ridiculed. Anything you say or do immediately describes you as a person to other people when in reality we are much more complex creatures. Even being completely absent seems to set people off. You are expected to be good if you are in the fine arts department of the internet, even if you haven’t professionally developed anything. You can’t just draw and write complete shit anymore, especially if you intend to make into a series purely for fun.

I miss my old houses that I watched them in

I miss watching four episodes of sadness, doom, and despair just so I could then watch Rami Malek in sadness, doom, and despair

I miss curling up on the futon and propping my phone on the TV tray to watch Band of Brothers with my friend

I miss the Discord soundboard language we created since he’s several hours ahead and had to be quiet partway through the episode

I miss doing yhr airhorn sound whenever Winnix or Baberoe or Luztoye or Speirton or basucally any teo men in yhe entire show were within ten feet of each other

I miss the edits my friends would send and how confused I was because all I knew was the basics of the H Company and Basilone arcs and Rami Malek

I miss freaking out in the gc because oh my gods why is there a fake body dummy of Grady he survives right?

And losing my mind over Donny Donowitz while my friend lost his mind over Hugo Stiglitz

I miss watching HLVRAI on call because the sequel was about to come out and I had to catch up

I miss crying about Carpish and flirting with my friends because we keep ending up as mediamates (Luztoye, Carpish, Ruckie, etc.)

I miss it all so much

Winter break, snowstorm week, and spring break 2026 come back I need to relive you

I'm sorry I took advantage of you

I wanted to share with you the world that I believed could love you as much as I did

I wanted to be held and not to be cold or have to go home, I wanted to be safe, I wanted to be told that I'm not alone.

I would've taken your pain if I had known...

I am so full of fuel for rage and frustration at my professors assigning the most bullshit requirements and then giving me a deadline while the constraints of the assignment makes me wait for the deadlast minute to do anything

Yet at the sametime we still have a week for finals but they set the due date before anything next week

It gives me to room to breath and it makes me want to lash out so badly yet I know it wouldn't give me anytime to actually do something

The Fact that not everyone loves Christmas, and not every Christmas can be perfect. And Yet That fake ass friend decided to leave me behind just for liking Halloween?!?!. . . . . . . . . . . . And yes I’m alright with anyone liking Christmas including her. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . But Why?!?! Why the flying fuck she decided it’s best to leave me just because I only fucking care about Halloween!!!!! You know I have like maybe 1-2 awful experiences with Christmas!!!! I’m such a bad friend to her and to everyone else just because I’m so obsessed with a holiday I could live forever. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

@nicky-toony27

@art1c-m0nk3ys

@softpawsxd

@megamanzerov20

@manekimelikawaii

@corpesess

@lizzietherwbychibifan

@cookiecat-7388

@glitchychara

@gothstarz

@xshadowxrealmx

@leftunknown

@torrentialchaos

@cxrxmelchoco

@roeldraws

We apologize if our terms and flags are lackluster, and if our requests are quite slow! We still love interacting with everypony and seeing you all in our inbox and in our server and comments and reblogs and overall interactions. We just may be slightly off sometimes, and if we are, we apologize!

Sorry for such a vent/rant, we have just felt very isolated in our day-to-day and wanted to talk to the internet about it, lol! Sending everypony our love and joy, if you wish to receive it! (Love without any inherent pressures! Generally it is /platonic, but if you are apla, then no worries, it is just love of the fact that you're a piece of the universe! Ofc the love is not forced, as well.)