Of course it wasnât chronologically a little over a year since Millie got there, but counting all the time spent before timelines reset, it felt like sheâd been there for almost a year. She hardly ever thought about her life before the underground; unlike before, this was a âtrappedâ she was perfectly okay with.Â
At first, she was always remeeting friends until she was so integrated in the world that she became a part of it. Every day she was presented with a familiar option for a cooking lesson from Muffet or Grillby, she could choose the opposite of what she chose in the timeline before, and she was slowly mastering a trade she loved between the two of them.
On top of it all, after enough time spent in the timelines, she even had a wonderful boyfriend now. Sure, sometimes they had to fake getting closer again before announcing their dating in new timelines, but even that seemed to at least start integrating into the world now. She even slipped in to Sansâ bed to share it with him, whether it was at the foot of his bed or falling asleep in his arms.Â
It was rare that sheâd twitch awake in the middle of the night, and when she did, sheâd usually just go back to sleep. Sheâd gotten used to the whole âtotemâ process to determine nightmares from resets by now, and those were easy to shake off by now. Tonight, though, her twitch led to her uncomfortably scooting away from Sans and sliding out of the bed, trying her best not to jostle her beloved awake. The nightmare she woke up from that night wasnât related to the resets, but it did bring up some ugly memories that she didnât want to revisit.
She wanted to go get something to eat, but had a strong feeling sheâd reject it. So she wound up laying down on the floor and curling up dog-like, stuck in her own swirling thoughts. It had been so long since she thought of the institution that threw her away, and she was so happy to forget about it. She felt sick ever thinking about those evil humans, and guilty when she thought of the other monsters who suffered along with her. She almost felt guilty to be so happy when she knew there were other monsters up there on the surface, still suffering.
It was so rare that the optimistic and cheerful monster ever felt genuinely dirty and disgusting. She sat there trembling, holding her breath so her crying wouldnât wake Sans up. He deserved more sleep; she didnât want to wake him.