#veh

Here's a few of the rules I already have written down:

1. If you're lost, you can usually find someone wandering around with a security badge. Make sure you read the badge. If you can read the badge, ask for help or directions. If you can't, make up an emergency and tell them it's on another floor. If you accept help from a badge you can't read, you're gonna be in a lot of trouble.

2. There's a security guard named Batman. He doesn't have a badge, but he's a really nice guy (if not a little weird). If he offers help without you asking, just take it. If you don't, he'll follow you around until you do. He's not dangerous, but it can be super annoying. Just take the help.

3. Sometimes there's a sheep in the hallway. This is when it's best to actually take Wendy's advice. IGNORE THE SHEEP. Don't look at it. Don't talk to it. Don't touch it. Just walk right by and pretend it doesn't exist. It’ll leave sooner or later.

4. Always bring an offering to the library after dark. So sometimes? Philia forgets to lock the library. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, you can go in. There's a lot of forbidden books you can read - but if you're caught by Sylvaranti, you gotta give him something. He's a weirdo who mostly lives in the library or in the astronomy tower. I don't think I've ever seen him sleep. Anyway... If you don't have anything to give him, he'll take something important from you. I lost my favorite doll to him once. I don't even know how he got it (considering it was in my apartment), but he did and she's gone. So bring something worthwhile to him and he won't start taking stuff.

5. Sometimes, if you look in puddles of water, you'll see a pair of eyes. If they're blue, don't worry! That's just Mariko. She's a little younger than I am and can 'puddle jump.' It can be creepy if you're not expecting it (and I tried talking to her about not showing up in people's showers again), but she's super harmless. But if the eyes are red? Pour dish soap in the water and don't look at water until the next dawn. Yes, it's only water. You can drink soda still.

6. No one lives in apartment 1030. After the Incident, Schwartz made sure that it was vacant. (We all got a memo about it). If you hear weird sounds, don't go in. If you hear people you know from inside, don't go in. If someone is standing outside and invites you in - DON'T GO IN. I can't be more clear. DO NOT GO IN APARTMENT 1030.

7. Call Security if Vault 5 is open. Sometimes, we need to go to the vaults to get paperwork. Most stuff is digital now, but there are lots of older documents preserved in the vaults underground. There are ten vaults in total, and the documents are in Vault REDACTED. There are 5 vaults on each side of the long hallway, so it's pretty easy to see if one of them are open. If you see that number 5 is open? Don't go near it. Immediately call Security on the phone outside the vault that you're in and then close the door to your vault. Stay inside your vault until security comes to get you. And they will come get you. Don't leave on your own, no matter what the voices say.

8. There's another guy named Gaet who roams the building. He wears funny clothes and doesn't speak our language well. Anyway, I think he's lonely because he keeps asking for favors. It's small stuff, like helping change the batteries in his remote, or helping him reply to an e-mail. You don't have to help him, but it'll kick your butt later if you don't. I scrapped my knee really hard the same day I told him I was too busy. Wendy said it was a coincidence, but other people agree with me. Corrine got bubblegum in her hair, and Chalcea got a zit. But, if you help him, his daughter drops off tasty fruit as a thank you. It's just better to stop and help him.

9. Ariel is on the roof on Tuesday nights after 10 PM. She doesn't mind the company as long as you ask beforehand. If you surprise her, you're in for a bad time. That's all I'm gonna say about that, because she feels bad for what happens.

10. There are a lot of fireflies in the 1200 hallway. No, it's not an infestation, and yes, it's perfectly normal. Just don't kill any. I'm super serious about this. Accidents don't happen with them - they stay away from your feet and move out of the way if you're stumbling. Just don't kill one on purpose, and yes, they know.

11. If a tall man in blue offers you candy, don't accept. He's not a creep or anything, but he's an asshole and the candy is a trick. Sometimes it turns into a snake, or a spider. Other times, it's a pile of snot or something gross. He does it for laughs. You can ignore him, too.

12. There's a really pretty woman named Dahlia who works here. She uses her looks to her advantage. Lots of people want to be her friend, and it's totally possible, but don't eat ANY food or drink around her. If you value your secrets, follow this rule.

13. Ms. Lisa, the night nurse, looks really weird. She's super creepy and her multiple eyes sometimes ooze. But... she's actually really nice. She gives extra candy to kids, too. Don't be mean to her. She isn't contagious anymore.

14. Don't sign anything without reading it. If you can't understand something, consult one of the people in the Diplomacy Division. They won't try and trick you and will tell you exactly what you are/aren't agreeing to for a small fee. Pay it and be thankful they saved your butt from signing something stupid.

15. A woman named Alita sometimes asks for money. Don't give her any. She isn't a spirit or anything. She's just dumb and I hate her.

So that's all the rules I have so far. I'll add more soon because I'm stuck at home right now. There's something big going on in the Beacon, and all non-essential staff are told to stay home. Wendy still goes in, but I'm here, and I'm super bored.

Signed,