So I promised @wanning-of-the-night-sky I’d translate an 2ha mini-theatre of her choosing as a gift for the holiday season. Here it is. Uh.. foul language, bad translator puns, and discussion of sex... but this is 2ha, what do you expect?
作者有话要说：
The author has something to say:
小剧场《零点五和二点零哪个更过分？》occ有，现代元素乱入，不要当真~
Mini theatre ,<0.5 and 2.0, which one is more extra?> out of character, modern elements are inserted randomly, don’t take this seriously~
王夫人的菜包（没错就是那只胖猫）：玉衡长老，您觉得零点五和二点零哪个更让你感到羞耻，更过分喵？
Madam Wang’s VeggieBun (that’s right, that fat cat): Elder Yuheng, between 0.5 and 2.0, which one makes you feel more shameful? Which one is more extra-meow?
楚晚宁：2.0
CWN: 2.0
菜包：为什么喵？他不是很为您考虑吗？
VeggieBun: Why-meow? Isn’t he very considerate of you?
楚晚宁：零点五不会问，只会做，虽然有的时候他讲话确实很脏，但是那跟我没有关系。二点零呢？
CWN: 0.5 won’t ask questions and will just do things. Even though his words are indeed sometimes vulgar, but that has nothing to do with me. As for 2.0...
CWN: (uncontrolled rage) When he asks me about those things in full deference, has he ever considered my feelings? Must I nod and tell him, “Yes. Please come in. Remember to use protection. Welcome.”
CWN: 0.5 won’t ask me how I feel. Once he’s done, he just minds his own business and goes to work. 2.0 will interview my inner feelings… Do I need to fill out a customer satisfaction survey?
菜包：喵哈哈哈哈哈汪！笑出狗叫！
VeggeBun: Meow Hahahaha arf! I laughed so hard I barked!
当天，菜包回山后，跟死生之巅所有的猫发布了标题为——《要霸总还是要忠犬》的专题报道。
That day, VeggieBun returned to the backhills and issued a special report with the headline <Would you rather have an overbearing CEO or a loyal dog> to all the cats of Sisheng Peak.
菜包：玉衡长老表示，跟零点五在一起，就像自己是个顶级鸭王，被一个不付钱的黑老大白嫖喵！
VeggieBun: Elder YuHeng has expressed being with 0.5 makes him feel like he’s a pre-meow-ium gigolo being visited by a mob boss who refuses to pay.
肉包：玉衡长老表示，跟二点零在一起，就像自己是个挑剔事多的黑老大，在花钱买顶级鸭王喵！
MeatBun: Elder YuHeng has expressed being with 2.0 makes him feel like he’s a picky mob boss paying for a pre-meow-ium gigolo.
翌日，死生之巅的猫全都没有了猫粮……
The next day, all the cats of SiSheng Peak went without food.
Translation note: all the meows were at the end of the sentence... i decided to put some in words for artistic flair. also, sometimes the meow are at the end but in place of an actual character so i figured i could take some liberties in the translation... maybe. i just like cat puns.
Also, the last lines from each of the buns were kinda hard to translate. i don’t use those words in chinese usually nor in english.. so i kinda had to google the chinese and verify the english. orz
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Today’s #veggiebun creation is eggplant! Totally making this again but slicing it thinner. And it’s complimented with #fatbomb I ordered via #ketobrick 🖤 *meat: ground chicken #starwarsfangirl #ketogirl (at Sunnyvale, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/B0o_WkRgzo1/?igshid=ex6gqwm24odl
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