If TikTok is doing that thing about why Conservative men prefer Liberal women and will go out of their way to lie about their politics to date them I have my own thoughts
1) itโs about winning, especially when actual trickery is involved (this has been discussed at length but Veblen goes into the ways men, assumed Conservative, assumed Western have โpredatory instinctsโ they like to show off by bending reality to their will in โTheory of the Leisure Classโ since this gives them more credibility in the eyes of other men from the same backgrounds)
2) related to number 1 and equally as discussed (if not more so) caged bird theory but Iโm circling back around to this later
3) the hypocrisy of getting women who have no gendered expectations of them, while they still have gendered expectations for women, is part of the appeal. Itโs part of the โwinningโ/โcaged birdโ thing and itโs not brought up enough. They feel entitled to having better lives while ruining womenโs lives which brings to
4) I have seen this discussed but didnโt like how itโs said: they think women, as a gender, should be bleeding hearts. They should be liberal, they should be selfless. They donโt want women to actually absorb their religious hypocrisy, because that upsets the gender hierarchy they believe in. Boysโ Club, only.
Which brings to 5) expanding caged bird theory: they feel entitled. They feel entitled to whatever women they want (how dare women have boundaries that might keep them from them!) they feel entitled to Liberal womenโs education (generally better) they feel entitled to Liberal womenโs resources. Think about it. A more educated woman who works out of a textbook instead of the Bible has, in most circumstances, better educational, financial, and employment opportunities. They want her money (and whatever else she has). They donโt see themselves as any different from the men of yore, who owned all their wifeโs stuff. Plus, as a richer and more developed person, she makes his himself (for his peers) and his household (for capitalism/society) look better and more refined. As Veblen would (and did) say, she makes a better โornamentโ. Same conversation that happened in โPride and Prejudiceโ about accomplished women. Men want women with accomplishments, as society allows them to claim them as their own. That gives them more opportunities than women who claim their husbandsโ accomplishments. Vicarious consumption vs vicarious leisure, respectively (although I very much doubt Veblen foresaw this exact scenario). โTheory of the Leisure Classโ is still relevant. Conservative men think they are entitled to having the greater disposable income theyโd get from marrying a woman who pays for herself.
