#vdt.text

I have decided life requires very radical change. I threw out the mattress and disassembled the bed. Unsurprisingly, sleeping on the floor feels better than on that thing. I kept this slab of memory foam to sleep on in the meantime. A blueprint is in progress for a coffin to sleep in. There is nothing left to do now except embrace myself. Healing has a bitter taste, like tears and strong herbal remedies. No matter what, I have people who believe in me. I want to wallow in that love I have for them… If you are reading this, I love you…

While I have been toying with custom filters, I came to realize I am losing my love for Dark Academia. I see the hollowness and rigidity of online aesthetics; and try as I might to make a subculture for myself and a few others, it is too restricting and boring. I thought I could make something with what is present online, but it seems that all proper things are born offline.

I keep learning about new “reasons” my “communities” online have invented to go to war with one another. It fills me with genuine despair. Why try to oppress ourselves?

I really miss using community tags, but I just cannot stand the amount of policing or bullshit that goes on. Having nothing but “erm your harmless thing is morally wrong” in the notes sounds like a nightmare. But fuck it. Go ahead. Transition. Become a hot man and a vampire like me. I love you.