Sometimes 'believe women' also means believing a liar. (long post)
While we here on Tumblr dot com may be familiar with concepts like financial abuse & see rape for the violence that it is, many normal women do not.
So when Tabitha is kept under her husband's thumb, unable to claim assets or touch the bank account, and she feels isolated and helpless and afraid for her future, she might think her plight sounds shallow. "My husband doesn't let me buy clothes without his say-so," might sound vain. "He hits me," on the other hand, might get her friends and family to act. It's a lie, because the truth doesn't seem worth pitching a fuss over.
And when Samantha's boyfriend rapes her, she might feel like she's been attacked—she literally was attacked with an act of sexual violence—but it might not feel right to say. She might be thinking, "I'm upset because I'm a wimp. I couldn't give my boyfriend the kind of attention he wants. I've failed as his girlfriend." Instead of being honest, then, she might say what she thinks would matter more to a listening ear. "He hit me," might sound more legitimate. It may be less likely met with "Why don't you just talk to him?" or "What's so unreasonable about what he wants?"
When a woman's story about being hit seems shaky, it may be because it's incredibly hard to open up about being hit whatsoever, let alone with precision. It may be because her memory has been impacted by alcohol or drugs or concussions or the emotional trauma of it all. On rare occasion, however, it may be because a physical punch is the only thing she thinks warrants assistance. It may be that she IS being abused, not physically, but in ways that she doesn't realize matter just as much. In those cases, please please please do not hold it against her. Get closer, dig deeper, and reassure her that her problems are real, actionable issues deserving of immediate intervention.
