#vannswers

OVERHWLEMINGLY it’s been the same recycled garbage over and over and over again

youre brainwashed

youre in a cult

the church is super toxic

how can you believe in god

joseph smith was a con man (we learn about this) and a convicted criminal (we also learn this too)

the holy ghost is fake

the book of mormon is a lie

some other combo of the above

and it’s awful! i’m sick of it! i am absolutely sick to death of people browbeating me with this garbage. i’ve had it hammered into me by people who aren’t members but the worst are ex members. well and truly

those particular posts i had reblogged, they reblogged from a source i’ve seen do this. i’ve also had my positivity posts tagged as #apostate #exmo etc when like no? me talking about my struggles with my faith and trying to find a place for me in this deeply flawed organization isn’t me going “throw the baby out with the bathwater” and to have them reblogged and told “you’re right! we should burn down everything!” when no? that’s not what i meant or wanted? get off my stuff?

like i have NO PROBLEM with people who don’t believe. just like do it away from me? my best friend is a former catholic (now pagan) who firmly believes i’m in a cult. she believes in her heart of hearts i’m but a poor, brainwashed fool in need of rescue. but she also respects that i do not see my situation this way especially as i continue to choose to act how i do and has not once ever voiced this opinion to me out of respect for myself. i, in turn, have not tried to slip her lds reading because she has the right to believe as she does and she is definitely not interested. she has straight up lost friendships because other members have just refused to respect her boundaries

i also know the OPs of those particular posts. they have expressed in the past they are deeply uncomfortable with exmormons coming onto their posts and making it all about “fuck the church, actually” and don’t always have the spoons to tell people to get lost. i know a lot of my friends just hit block and go but that doesn’t solve the problem of these posts being reblogged in this way

no, i don’t have a problem specifically with former members in general. hell, my father was excommunicated for an affair years ago. he was a former member for a period of time (eventually did what he needed to to come back) but he did fall into this category. during this time, he didn’t go all “burn the witch” about it. and that’s what i’m saying

if you guys want to reblog these? fine. trigger tag them. fine. have #religion or #lds or #mormon and even putting #not currently but i was previously (or something similar) but don’t put #apostate and other tom fuckery. that’s ABSOLUTELY rude and uncalled for. you don’t reblog posts about catholicism by catholics and what they go through with crap about them going to hell or being blasphemers or whatever to be asshats to them. obviously not! it’s rude!

not to mention, for me at least, it’s damn triggering! even though i stopped going to church for a few years, i still kept my faith. i clung deeply to my faith. i have experiences i cannot explain any other way except through my faith that i also cannot deny. to do so would be not only to lie but to betray a part of myself. when i posted about it just. the flood. at one point i had to forego any and all internet except for school email for over a week it got so bad

that’s why i was like “hey get off this post” or “don’t clown on this post” because it’s a very specific phenomenon that is horrifically prevalent. ex members no longer tar and feather current members but that doesn’t make this hurt any less real even if it is different. and it hurts deeply for someone to call me an apostate because i’d just cold deck like half the general authorities if ever presented the opportunity

for me though exmo/exmormon is a specific kind of former member whereas former member is more of a general term. kind of like how all squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares. in general, i have no problem with rectangles (former members) by and large but squares (exmos) are just the worst. does that make sense?

but like you seem pretty chill. you seem like the kind of former member i have no problem with. that’s going to sound like “you’re the exception to my rule” but no no. it’s more like assholes are the exception to my “be chill with everyone” rule. i ascribe to the “do no harm but take no shit” philosophy. thus why i’m willing to just. throw hands. with anyone

that said, i didn’t mean to cause hurt with my stance of “go all the way away from me” and i apologize since that’s how i came across. i hope you understand me better now and why i feel the way i do. i’m so deeply tired of “you should come to church with me” because people are convinced i’m like brainwashed and feel like they personally have to be the person to rescue me. or for exmos to scream about how like fake heathen stuff happens in the temple. it’s so exhausting yknow