#v.s8

Sam was sure this wasn’t his greatest plan, but considering he was all out of ideas and certainly hope - summoning Ruby was all he got at this point. He hadn’t seen her in years once the Apocalypse was coming on them because of him. Even if she had a change of heart too late to stop it. 

Sam had been rendered useless for a while by the time Bobby one day came and offered them a seaside home to stay at for a while. A rich couple that gladly owed him something from the past. It had been much needed for both the brothers even though Sam would still have hallucinations and break down, but with his brother there for him. Helping him with kind touches to chase the evil away rather than with pain like before.

The Leviathans couldn’t be ignored for long though and what a mess they caused. Despite all this Sam was starting to do better for a while. Even able to do hunts with his brother again. Until they lost someone who had meant everything to them. All to this bastard calling himself Dick Roman.  Losing Bobby sent Sam back in a downward spiral and understandably Dean was following soon after, but they stayed together. 

All that changed after Sam ended up in the psych ward. Dean tried to find him help. Castiel turned out the be alive, but lo and behold, could do nothing to heal him. Then a young boy named Kevin was unfortunate enough to be chosen as a prophet which meant he had both angels and demons on his tail

Then one day Dean just didn’t show up anymore. Cas was who knew where and when Meg of all people showed up he really figured he was doomed. Instead she let him out of the psych ward, telling him that Crowley got his hands on the prophet and he needed to find them.  What Meg didn’t seem to realize was that Sam was in no condition to look for Kevin against the King of Hell. Not without getting himself killed. Which, in fair points, Meg didn’t care about. She just hated Crowley even more.

Instead Sam fell deeper once Dean was gone off the face of the earth. So many times he had called for him with his mind. Their connection no longer there and Sam could only fear the worst. Yet the times he did find sleep. Or nightmares - he would subconsciously still call for his brother. Hoping for an answer that never came.

Dean. You can’t be dead. You can’t leave me like this. Not you. Not without a trace. Sam cried out and woke up to a smashed room. Not for the first time. He knew he had been the one to cause the damage.He sat up slowly. Digging his fingers through his messy, dark hair. Letting out a broken sob. Then something tickled. In his head. He paused everything he was doing and just listened.

Sam was reluctantly starting to accept that they were indeed trapped in this place for the time being. At least until Dean could reach them. So he crossed the room surprisingly quiet for a man his size before sliding down the wall to sit near Claire. Might as well get to know her better while they were here, "I'm a sucker for peculiar stories," he offered a kind smile, "I'd love to hear it."

When Sam came to and had no recollection of how he got to this middle of nowhere-lake a late summer evening, he wasn’t even surprised. Of course it wouldn’t have been considering how his world had been crumbling to pieces ever since the wall in his head came down. Dean had been dragged to Purgatory, leaving Sam to his own mind to deal with this until... 

“Sam... Sam! Come on, Sam!” 

How Ruby had come to kneel between his legs where he was sitting without him noticing was kind of a surprise though. His eyes had been set on the water he was still partly in afterall. The demon was even kneeling in the water with him so it reached her waist in this position, but she paid it no mind.  “It’s fine. It’s over. It’s just you and me here,” the demon promised. Her hands on his face, her thumbs brushing over and under his eye until she was certain he wasn’t seeing through her anymore.  “I realize here isn’t much of an upgrade from where your mind takes you these days, but you have to stay here for when Dean comes back, remember?” she continued to talk to him. Seeming to know exactly how to reach through to him.

“I’m good,” he said. Like he always did. Didn’t matter that it was a clear lie. It was his “code word” if you’d like, to Ruby, to let her know he was back with her. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his thighs. His forehead gently touching against Ruby’s as they just sat there for a moment. The tip of his fingers brushing against the wet, dark hair running down her back and only then did he realize it was raining too. Her own hands had come down to brush over his collar and shoulders and he could bearly see the row of white teeth as she smiled at him.

They were quiet for a long moment while he was collecting himself more and he was becoming more aware of how rather intimate this position was. Ruby noticed and true to her nature she just grinned and leaned back a little, but remained between his bent legs, “It’s fine, Sam. I’ve been here before,” she quirked an eyebrow cheekily. 

Sam had worked it over in his mind again and again on how he would tell Ruby about the trials he had taken on to close the gates to Hell. In truth, there weren’t really any great way to start a conversation about taking upon trials that’ll force her back into Hell with every other demon on earth. In fact he wished there was a way to go through with this without Ruby having to pay the price for it. 

He stood up from where he had been seated on the hood of the Impala outside the bunker. Signaling for her to follow him. By the door he scratched the devil’s trap so the demon could enter, then painted the scratched part up again once the door was closed. “Have you ever heard of the Hell Trials.. or Trials of God?” he asked once they were in the library of the bunker. He turned to look at Ruby once they were there. Gauging her reaction to his question. “I’ve taken on the trials,” he admitted, feeling a bit of shame for what they were doing, if only because of her, “I’ve finished the first one and we’re leaving to do the second trial tonight.”

Sam had for the most part just watched his brother since they reunited minutes ago. Maybe it had even longer. He wanted to believe it was Dean, but it was just a lot to wrap his head around and his mind that wasn’t exactly cooperating a whole lot these days. 

“None of this is,” he eventually responded and sat up a little more and scratched at the beard he had obtained over some time. He wanted nothing more than to stand up and hug his brother and apologize for everything that had happened, but he was terrified of getting his hopes up too soon.