#uwd.task

I carefully walked towards the guy, peeking over his shoulder and instantly I became fucking horrified by what I saw. This man was eating another man, alive… Well he was alive. I could see the internal organs, or at least what was left of them. A gasp escaped my mouth. The homeless man turned around, blood and flesh stuck between his teeth, his bloody mouth pulled back into a snarl as a growl escaped. The eyes of this man were gone, glazed over and blood shot. The man lunged for me and tried to grab my jacket. I stepped back, letting my coffee hit the ground.

It was then that I suddenly realized there were more of these creatures roaming the streets. People were running in pure fear as a new terror took over. It was a sight from a horror movie, only I couldn't pause it, for I was in it. My first thoughts went to Megan and if she was okay. Before the creature could reach for me again, I turned and ran for my car. My hands were shaking as I fumbled with the metallic keys, but once inside the vehicle, I locked the doors -- course, this probably wouldn't have helped should my attacker have pursued his mission. Luckily, he was more worried about his unfinished meal than me. 

Upon arriving to Megan's apartment, I saw her in the state of panic and fear. Tears welled in her eyes, and in an attempt to calm her down, I reached for the small female -- pulling her into my arms, holding her protectively against my chest, cooing and rubbing her back. She managed to calm her breathing, and naturally, I nuzzled my nose in her fiery hair before kissing her temple. She was safe for the time being, but just how long did we have before more outbreaks appeared? And just in God's name was fucking going on? 

As Megan packed an emergency bag, I turned on the television in hopes of finding an explanation on the news. Only, there wasn't one. Not even a single -- just static, alerting us that our ordered cable had been disconnected. After some investigating, we also discovered that our internet connection and our telephones were also unreliable -- our cellphone signals so low, uncertainty of unanswered calls leaving us to wonder rather our beloved were harmed or simply temporarily under reach. Thankfully, we managed to contact a small group of friends -- some reaching us with the same mirrored panic we felt. 

Megan decided to use  her apartment for the time being as a safe house, the attic becoming a place of sleep.

Ronnie took on the leader role of the group, guiding everyone while also attempting to keep everyone safe at all costs. -- even if one of those costs was someone of the group.

Ricky had came back one day, clamping his left hand over a gash in his arm to cover gushing blood, or at least trying to, when Ronnie notified the group of his decision only an hour later. He had to be killed. There is no cure, no anti-virus. All we can do is kill him or leave him to die, then he'd just come back and kill us. Ricky had begged me not to let him, to find some way to convince Ronnie otherwise, but I couldn't. At this point, we knew we were the sole survivors and there wasn't a chance in hell that I was risking our lives. 

Ronnie didn't want to, but he allow Ricky to say his goodbyes before taking him out back. It was like watching a lamb to the slaughter. We all knew he was physically walking back there, but we had had come to the realization that only Ronnie would be coming back. I almost wanted to give up right there. One of my brothers was being sentenced to death. TJ gave me a look and exhaled. Should I have fought to keep him here until he changed? Which of us would be the one to kill him then? What about Ryan? I couldn't find him. Surely, the guy wanted to be left alone. I know that was what I'd want if Megan was being taken out there . . . Then again, I'd probably hold her until we were torn apart. Ronnie wouldn't be killing just one then, but two. Till death do us part.

---------------------------------------------------------

Ricky was quick on his feet, silent, and swift. The group had depended on him and Ryan for runs: such as getting medical supplies, food, water, and gas for whatever car they may have gotten, hot wired thanks to Ryan's quick wit. Ricky was quite good at sneaking around hoards and crawling up into high spaces, sometimes even managing to snag a pack of cigarettes just because they were there and why the hell not? He rarely took off with Ryan when it was a simple fast mission. He didn't have the time to be looking out for someone else or making sure someone else was okay. Ricky was about getting in, getting what they needed, and then getting out.

TJ was the one who managed to calm people down, but also stop a fight when need be. Ryan was known for having a temper, having almost been booted from the group for arguing with people a few too many times. Ricky managed to calm him quite often, but TJ however, was the one who kept a level head during all of this. Part of me wondered if he was as freaked out as the rest of us. Was he just putting on a brave face through all of this just for us? TJ was there to listen and to help, often helping us pack up as quickly as possible. I always knew he'd be a strong person to depend on, a reason why I asked him to stay with us. Plus, he will always be one of my best friends.

And as for Megan, she wasn't very violent. Come to think of it, I don't think Megan's ever hit anyone. It scared me a bit, because what if something happened to her and I couldn't get to her in time, or anyone couldn't get to her in time for that matter? I always kept an eye on her and kept her even closer. She was nurturing and good at dressing wounds. I guess you could say she was our nurse, and mother figure. She was scared shitless of all this. She was hopeful it'd end soon, but I highly doubted that. I think this is it. It isn't called apocalypse for nothing. She had been the one to wrap up Ricky's arm, thinking he had cut himself on broken glass while out on a run, until Ronnie broke the news. Luckily, he brought back medical supplies for her to use since we were running low. He smoked a cigarette while she bandaged him up, telling him how he had to be more careful when he went out -- he nodded carelessly and gave her a shrug.

As for me, I just followed along, I did my share of bashing skulls, playing look out, and driving late at night as we traveled. Going out on a run wasn't my thing. I didn't wanna be away from Meg or leave her to worry. I mostly scouted for safe places to set up camp with Ronnie. We had to make sure it was big enough, somewhat safe, and well hidden so we could secure it. Blunt things like bats and clubs were our main weapons, but we did have a few guns, thanks to Oliver.

Oliver was the one to gather guns. We didn't use them often but sometimes they were called for. Sometimes hoards, large ones, would attack and a gun is quicker and more effective than a bat or an axe. He also swiped ammo, finding it in cop cars, shops, and sometimes odd places. He just seemed to know what to do and none of us were about to complain about it. He knew what he had to do and how to get out of a sticky situation. He rarely came back hurt. He was pretty much unscathed. He attempted to teach Megan how to use a gun but she freaked out when she pulled the safety and dropped it. We all ducked for cover for fear it'd go off. He chuckled and set it aside. The rest of us were fine. Ricky could use some practice with his aim, but he's good enough. Maybe watching all those horror movies prepared us? No. This is nothing like those horror movies. This is scarier.

---------------------------------------------------------

It must've been about a month since Ricky had died. Ryan was silent, not a word escaping his lips since that day. It was as if the world took his one reason to live. We were traveling, looking for a new camp to set up, when it happened -- a single gun shot rocketing. Ronnie and I took off towards the sound, thinking a hoard struck and Oli needed help. Megan was in the car where I told her to stay. We got to where we heard the sound, seeing Ryan's lifeless body laying on the floor. This was too much for him -- even I sometimes thought of putting the barrel to my own head but never could go through with it. Oliver found us and stopped when he saw. He kicked the gun out of Ryan's hand and picked it up. Ronnie turned around, pinching the bridge of his nose. The group was dwindling in size and both of those who were in charge of gathering food and supplies were dead. All we had was TJ, Ronnie, Oliver, Megan, and myself. Sadly enough, the only help Megan was good for was bandaging us up when we got nicks and cuts, sometimes give us stitches. Oliver decided to step up to not only gather guns, but also gather food and other necessities.  TJ stepped up too.

My hopes for survival were dropping, much like this group. Over time, I noticed Megan was starting to get sick. She was weak, wouldn't eat and all she really did was sleep. Ronnie said it'd be best to cut her loose now, but TJ managed to help me talk him out of it. I just wanted more time with her. She meant the world to me. She was gonna be my wife and now she was leaving me too. I held her cold hand and stuck by her side. I noticed her mumbling was starting to come to a stop. Her sentences were left unfinished and the light in her green eyes was fading. She reassured me she was fine, but I think that she was trying to reassure herself more. She was dying. I could see it. She was slipping away from me and all I could do was helplessly watch. Ronnie tried to help me, he tried to get me to let him kill her, to end her suffering. Some disease hit her, so naturally, it was only a matter of time before she would be lunging for me like that homeless guy the night this all started. But I couldn't do it. I was being selfish. I was making her suffer here. I didn't want to say goodbye; to her or anyone for that matter.

Later that night, Ronnie put his foot down. He was gonna end her life before she could suffer as one of those things. I know that if she turned, I wouldn't be able to kill her, and it'd be hard to watch. TJ kept me company while Ronnie and Oliver went to do end her suffering. Oliver carried her body out of the car and into the field. Like fore, Ronnie was gonna do the actual slaughtering. I managed to say goodbye somehow, I kissing her forehead as she stroked my cheek, telling me to stay out of trouble. She put her engagement ring in my hand and told me to keep it always. I put it on my coffin necklace. I gave her the coffin ring I always wear for I wanted her to have something -- anything, to remind her of me in death. She fought me on it, but eventually didn't have the strength to keep fighting and took it.

After that, I didn't focus on anything in particular. I just knew that now, I lost everything. It was gone. That's it for me. I wasn't meant to be happy, even in times like this. Originally, I'd lost Oliver to someone else -- having loved him before Megan and I decided to rekindle, having thought he was absolute walking perfection, a flashed smile from him and my heart would melt - and now, I had permanently lost the only person who'd restitched my heart when Oliver tore it open. I loved TJ on some explainable level but he'd always been dedicated to Cady. I also couldn't replace Megan - rather she was currently dead or alive. 

Everything always starts and ends with you. It doesn't matter my current location - rather I'm touring or home - somehow, the events lead a trail back to you. I used to not care but now? I'm finally trying to move forwards. My heart can't take much more of this game - the lies, the empty promises, the wanting me one day but then the next it has to stop because you're supposed to be in a relationship. Face it. There's just something about me that which makes me an easy target sex-wise. But relationship-wise? I'm not good enough. Just like Megan said when we broke up. I'm disposable and easily replaced. I'd probably have more luck becoming a father for some hypocritical ministry. 

Tour fucking sucked from the moment that it begun, which is saying a lot because the road always distracts my mind from unpleasant thoughts. I didn't have much energy during the beginning of this tour. It was mostly staying in the bus, trying to hide from all life, including the fans. I didn't even find the stage to be enjoyable - I couldn't deal with the fact that you might possibly hate me . . . that you didn't want to see me. The day that I finally found enough strength to wonder was the day of the carnival, and who did I just accidentally bump into? You. Things seemed to be back to normal for the most part. The teasing that I became so familiar with was back, you smiled and laughed, and then we fucked in the public bathroom - or really, you fucked me. I hope you enjoyed yourself. I don't sub for too many people. 

“No problem, babe just make sure that camera is above chin level or I will be looking all kinds of wrong.”

“Er..ok. Can you start from the very beginning? “

“So the apocalypse is supposed to be terrifying and heartwrenching, right? Well fuck that. Any day could be your last, live it up. To quote the Sex Pistols “I wanna be anarchy””

That's what I thought in the first few days anyway. I was hanging out with Kat in her tattoo shop when we started hearing ambulance after ambulance after ambulance. Finally, they showed on the news that there was this new disease, Mad Cat or some shit, they always give stupid names to new diseases, anyways it basically made the person affected seize up until they died.

Kat and I were scared, yeah, but it was whatever. We were both into those horror movies with end of days themes. It's a fun topic to think about. So of course we fucking gathered up a bunch of shit and started looking for friends. There were so many people in the streets, twitching from time to time.”

At this time, Jeffree looked down at his hands, obviously a bit uncomfortable talking about the dead.

Anyways, we found the trio first, Gabe and Zeke Fox and then Zach. Kat and I have at least known of them for awhile now, enough to know they would be smart enough to survive this...plus they're all hot I mean have you looked at them? Damn it's a sham-

“Back to the story, please, Mr. Star”

He rolls his eyes, obviously annoyed

Whatever, anyways, we went into their group or they came into ours, however you want to say it. They had this Escalade that was all tricked out, tinted bulletproof windows, bars on the front and back bumpers, shit I wouldn't doubt it if they had a missile launched under the hood. Anyways, they were really good for survival. They found food and kept Kat and I safe and intimidated and dumbfucks that tried to steal our shit.

Next we found Josh and Tyler...the little fags. They were clinging to each other when we found them squatting in some house in SoCal. Tyler was wearing his fucking floral Docs of course I swear to god that kid...

So then there were seven of us. Myself, Kat, Gabe, Zeke, Zach, Josh, and Tyler. Josh and Tyler almost...kept us human in a way. Before they joined, the three musketeers were killing anyone with a so much as a cough and wouldn't even look twice at the body. But I guess Gabe and Josh had this 'connection' or something and he didn't like the reckless killings so they just kind of stopped. And Tyler is just such a softie, I feel like we were almost a normal group of people just hanging out. Josh, Tyler and I did our best to keep people laughing and entertained. I would be lying if I said I didn't whore myself out a bit.. Keep moral up and all.

“Were there any problems in the group other than the killings?”

You could say that. Josh and I had this joke that we were 'blind buddies'. Every once in awhile he would just go blind from stress. It was freaky as fuck. And when we were just sitting in a room, not doing anything, I would have these urges to clean. Even in places where there were dead bodies, I wanted to clean everything off and organize it and it got to the point that I would twitch if I didn't do something so sometimes I would be blindfolded and Josh and I would sit next to each other and have contests to see who could hear something first. One time we even played hide and seek...that didn't work out too well.

Jeffree's bottom lip is dragged down with a pair of fingers as he shrugges and moves to the mext topic

There was also this, not really a problem but it was sort of an...upset you would say. I went on a run with Tyler to grab food and shit and we got to a supermarket and of course, supermarkets have alcohol...which we stole five bottles of. I also happen to know that a lot of drug users work at supermarkets so one trip to the break room and a search of the lockers later and we had half an ounce of weed. Flower child and I brought the shit back and were like “lets party” so we did. All of us were drunk and high. We were dancing and grinding and josh kept saying he wanted a threeway with the Fox brothers. By the end of the night, Tyler and I were bored and drunk and stoned and we admitted to being lonely and a bit scared of the lives we would have to face at the end of this and we just started making out. It was normal at first but then I started rubbing against him and I was confused as to why he wasn't getting hard so I pretty much stuck my hand down his pants and, well, there wasn't a dick.

“Sorry?”

Damn right you should be sorry. Tyler is a transgendered man which I'm super accepting of, how could I not be, look at me? But like, I wasn't expecting there to be a vagina so I kind of freaked out and he didn't really talk to me the rest of the week.

We were lucky enough not to lose one of our own. In the physical sense anyways. Kat doesn't talk anymore for anything. I think it just all got to be too much for her and she snapped. It's so weird not having my best friend to talk to but.. I guess it's better than losing her completely.

“Is there anything else you would like to add to this record?”

April 15, 2014 3:00 am

I'm not really sure if I should call this a letter or a journal entry. I guess it's a little bit of both. I did a few circles around the house trying to find blank paper and a pen, intending on writing you a letter, and now I feel like I should address everything that's happened just in case something happens to you too. The truth is more important that anything else we have ever left behind. 

I had been on the transplant list for about four months before I got to the top and they found a match for me. Although the surgery went well, recovery was a bitch. It would take time to see if my body was going to even accept these new pair of lungs. My immune system was basically shit and it was really easy for me to get sick at this point. Although a simple cold could send me to the hospital before, if I didn't stay on top of my antibiotics, shit could get real. Upon making my first trip to the U.S. after my surgery, I had no idea exactly how real things were about to get. I was finally healthy enough to travel and visit some friends. Friends that weren't too happy with me for keeping my health such a secret. 

You were there when I got off the plane. It's the first time we saw each other since you left Australia. One of the things that I really appreciated about you was that you didn't make me feel like I had to be taken care of. People had been doing that to me all my life. You are one of the only people that has seen me, for me. That's why I was attracted to you from the very beginning. Athena insisted I spend a few days with them in San Diego. I agreed, but only if you could come along. On the second day, we had a barbecue. For still being winter, it was fucking San Diego. It wasn't cold at all. For some odd reason, that will always be something I remember about that day. It was perfect. Blue sky. Warm enough to do something outside with friends. I wasn't the only one visiting at the time. Oli was here too. And Anissa. I'd never met her before, but it's always nice meet another woman in the business. 

You boys were all outside. God knows what you were laughing about. I still wonder. At one point I remember catching your eye out of the sliding glass door from my place in the kitchen with the girls. We just smiled. I turned back to Athena who was pulling something out of the oven. That's when the music on the radio stopped suddenly. All three of us noticed it. It was like the plot of some ridiculous movie that you see on SyFy Channel. Only this was real. Very real. They had no idea what the virus was, but it had already infected thousands. They were urged to stay home. Hole up until they found a cure. It didn't even take a day for a mass panic to take over. I stayed at the house with Athena while you all went out for supplies that would come in handy before it got too bad. We started boarding up windows. 

Half of you were bloody when you got back. Apparently it had already gotten worse than we thought. A lot of people were leaving the cities and raiding anywhere that could possibly hold useful supplies. When I was patching you up that night, that's when you promised you wouldn't let anything happen to me. I didn't say anything in response. Just kissed you. Although we talked about doing the same, really, what would be the difference? It's not really something you can outrun. So we would stay home. It didn't take long for cabin fever to set in. There was only so much you could do trapped inside with the same seven people. I stared at my phone a lot. They weren't working anymore with the power outages and cell towers being torn down. But I still tried sending texts to everyone I knew. Hoping they were okay. Telling them I was fine. That I loved them. That I would see them soon. I didn't believe any of them. But that's what I was good at. Using words to make people feel better. 

Anissa was the first one to lose it. I didn't know her well. Not at all really. But Vic seemed to be pretty distracted by her. She wanted to go outside. It seemed only natural that Vic and Mike were the ones that should be calling the shots. When Anissa started taking down the barricade we put up on the front door, that's when the guns came out. Sure. They were useful, which is why Mike and Oli thought to pick some up while they were out on the supply run. In the end, Anissa was the one that sealed her own fate. Mike warned her not to come back if she left. She didn't listen. We were sleeping when we heard the yells from downstairs. It was Vic's night to stay up on watch. Anissa was trying to get back in and he was pleading with her to stay away. She had the door cracked by the time we all got downstairs. It only took a moment for Mike to make the decision for his big brother. He took the gun from Vic's hand and shot three rounds at the door. We all heard the body fall outside. 

There was a discussion afterward about what to do with her. If she had gotten infected while she was away, it was a risk taking care of her body properly. But we couldn't just leave her rotting on the doorstep. But it didn't matter. Because by the time everyone woke up the next day, Vic had already taken the matter into his own hands. He dug a grave, burned the body and buried the ashes. Mike wasn't too happy. In fact, it's the only time I ever saw them fight. But as the days passed, Mike let it go. I think he was just worried, and I could understand that. When faced to make a decision about whether your brother was infected and putting everyone else in danger...I wouldn't want to make it either. 

I think all of us hoped all of this would calm down within a few weeks. But as things just started getting worse, that's when the arguments started. We were running low on supplies. But going out there was dangerous. But we didn't have a choice. Athena and I were left alone again. That's when she admitted that she was pregnant. And terrified. She didn't know how to tell Mike. Not like this. I smiled, and told her everything would be fine. It seemed like fate to be honest. Athena was always the mom of whatever band she had ties with. She certainly had become the mother since the lockdown. Making sure everyone ate. Making sure I was okay especially keeping up with my meds. If there was anyone that posed a threat to the group surviving, it was me. I was the weakest. 

Oli could barely get out of bed the day after you guys got back from getting more supplies. He was upstairs while we argued about what to do. There was nothing harder than this. Perhaps we all should have went our own separate ways. Or holed up with people we didn't know. Didn't love. There was nothing easy about deciding the fate of a dear friend. But Oli never gave us time to make that decision for him. No one thought about taking the gun from his room. Athena was in the middle of you and Mike, trying to push you away from each other when the shot went off. Athena went sprinting up the stairs and screamed when she opened the door. You boys didn't give her much time to mourn. We had to leave. We burned the house. As we were driving through to the next day, I took the last pill that I had. I didn't have much time left. 

We went through Arizona first, then headed north. Looking for a place that we could both be safer from other surviving groups and not have to depend on going to bigger cities for supplies. It didn't take long for the guns to come out again when I started coughing up blood. You came to my defense. Sometimes I wonder if it would have worked out better if you didn't. Athena was the one that pushed Mike's hand away in time when he pulled the trigger. That's also when she collapsed and just couldn't stand anymore. No one spoke as Mike picked her up and carried her into one of the bedrooms of the house they were squatting in for the night. 

I expected the first gunshot. Just not the second. Vic was quiet when we left the next morning. In fact, he didn't speak for days. I did everything I could, but it was no use. He was gone. I think that was the hardest for me to watch. He'd always been the most honest out of all of us. The most optimistic. He was the one that double teamed everyone with Athena to make sure we tried to stay positive. But he'd always been that way. Since the first day I met him. It's like there was a strange void in the world without the presence of his voice. And at the same time, I was just getting worse. Without the antibiotics, and all the moving and stress, my body couldn't take it anymore. 

Which is why I'm writing this letter while the two of you sleep. 

Jenna looked up from the notebook she was writing in and eyed the bottle of pills she'd found in the bathroom. They would work. Taking a deep breath, she swallowed a small handful. Then another. And another. Until they were gone. Afterward, she took a deep breath and kept writing. 

I know this isn't going to be easy for you. But I need you to focus on saving yourself. There's no one that can help me now. It was only a matter of time. Take care of Vic. Get him back somehow. Find people that you can trust. Give the song to Vic. He'll know what to do with it. And tell him thank you for me. He's always been someone I can count on.

There's something else that I need to tell you. Something that I never had the courage to say out loud. And after all of this, I shouldn't have kept quiet for so long. I love you. I think I did when you came down to Australia. Take care of yourself. If there is anyone that can make it out of this, it's you. I love you, Mikey. And I'll see you on the other side. xo, J. 

Jenna folded up the pages, along with an unfinished song. They'd always talked about writing a song together. She wasn't sure why they never got around to it. Just one thing after another. And music wasn't important anymore after the whole world went to hell. But music was who they were. If there was anything that would bring Vic back to life, it would be doing was he did best. 

justin went to go get nathan, i'm worried for him. it told everyone to stay inside but you know people are going to be going for their loved ones. i hope he comes back soon, neither of us have been feeling sick so that's good. we can just hold up here and wait for this all to blow over.

DIARY: DAY 3

these two days have been uneventful. the power went out so now we just sit here in the dark.. rationing our candles and flashlight batteries. the only thing that makes me happy is that lou and andy showed up. the two of them are staying in our guest room but no cutter. i guess the children were the first to go, justin told me that yesterday but no one is talking about it. where is alex?

andy is good for the group because he keeps everyone's spirit light even with the loss of his child. he is always making us laugh when we're not feeling it and when we are full of worry. lou is good to keep andy sane as well as justin be the "man" of the situation.

DIARY: DAY 6

speaking of alex she showed up. alex brought oli, devin, and josh. our house is getting cramped, someone is coughing in the night but i'm not sure who it is, i wouldn't have the heart to kick anyone out of the group anyways. justin hasn't said much to me at all, he's busy trying to take care of everyone and making sure i'm not getting sick.

alex is good for the group because she's pretty much becoming all of our mom. i cant believe how strong she is oli, devin and josh are good for the group so that they can go and get food and it's more people to make sure the house is safe.. incase someone is trying to break in.

DIARY: DAY 7

josh went out to try and get some food, we are running low. it's been six hours since he's been gone and he hasn't came back. no one knows what happened to him or if he is coming back. my head is killing me, i'm dizzy and my throat hurts. justin can tell that something is wrong with me even though i'm telling him the opposite.

-later that night-

no word from josh and everything went to shit while justin and i were sleeping. we woke up to screaming and two gun shots, andy passed away in his sleep. unable to deal with it i guess lou shot himself. we haven't been outside since the news broadcast but we did to have a proper burial for the two of them.

DIARY DAY: WHO KNOWS

i've lost count of the days that this has been going on. i'm not physically present on earth anymore but i have been watching over what's left of the group.  i started getting sick around the same time, justin kept me locked up in the bedroom as oli and devin argued that he should just kicked me out of the group or end my life so there was no chance me infecting the rest of them. justin ended up kicking them out of the house. later that night justin stayed up and held me as i passed in my sleep. he soon joined me, i hated to see it but he used the last bullet on himself.

She heard someone come out from the abandoned house that she was staying in along with her other nomads. Turning around she covered her face with her hand, shading her eyes from the sun that blurred her blue hues. Craig had walked out into the warm air of the summer sun and joined the girl on the front lawn. He smiled at her and looked down at her stomach, which had started protruding from her clothes. He had lost his daughter in the war against the zombies; she couldn't imagine that kind of loss. That was the reason she tried to keep herself alive, tried to keep the fathers of her baby alive and well. She had a legacy to carry on and she wouldn't give up for anything. 

Craig's eyes looked away for a moment before focusing back on her belly, a far off look to his orbs as his hands jutted out to touch her tummy. She smiled and watched as his fatherly instincts took over, his hands rubbing along the fabric of her shirt. "I'm sorry you lost your baby," she said. They had grown close since the apocalypse, their love for zombies bringing them together. He knew more about the pregnancy than she did, having one of his own prior. They bonded over that and their love for the undead, becoming a tight knit portion of their little unit. She smiled at him and offered a little hug, kissing his cheek lightly to pass on her condolences. 

Just then Elekra Evans had walked out and joined the pair, sitting on Alice's other side. "How are you?" the purple haired girl asked, smiling at the two of them. 

Alice was first to answer. "I'm alive," she joked and rolled her eyes, sticking her tongue between her teeth. She laughed lightly and stood up, walking towards the house. "I have to use the restroom. Pregnancy makes me pee like Sea Biscuit." she winked and walked through the house, walking in on the other nomads of the group, Mike, Devin, Josh, and Harper making a plan of where to move next. "Here is good, for a few days at least," Alice chimed in before she ran up the steps to use the restroom. Luckily in these homes the water was still turned on. Everyone had passed too quickly to alter the function of the utilities. 

Walking back down the stairs, she found Harper alone, looking over a map. She walked over to him to sit next to him, though he wanted nothing at all to do with her. She still loved him more than anyone else in the world, her heart beating faster just at the thought of the boy. "Hey," she said to him before he looked at her, then her stomach, getting to his feet and leaving her there on the couch on her own. She sighed and got off the couch, walking back outside where the rest of the crew were going over the plan for the next few days. From what she got, coming in late to the conversation, they were staying here for a few days before taking off. They all needed proper relaxation and rest before traveling again, most of them not having slept in two days. 

"Sounds good to everyone?" Mike asked, looking to Alice first, then Devin, then the rest of the group. There was a silence before a nodding of heads from Craig and Elektra. They all wanted sleep in a comfortable setting more than anything. Alice was last to shake her head yes and walked back inside with the rest of the members of her tribe. Fighting for the rooms came next. There were four in the house, so some would have to share. She didn't mind bunking with a certain someone, however, that same someone wasn't about to share a room with her; she was pregnant after all. 

____________________________________________

Sitting alone in her room that night, she took out her tattered old journal and opened to the first blank page. She'd lucked out and got a room to herself, and even though she wished to room with Mike, Devin had claimed that before she was even a thought. Elektra had stopped by earlier that night and had crashed out before returning to her room for the night. Alice didn't mind. She was just a night owl and would stay up for a while longer before she could reach the state of peace Elektra was experiencing. She took out a pen from her bag, uncapped it and started chewing on the tip, wondering where she should start on her entry for that evening. She tried to write nightly, to document her adventures of this zombie apocalypse. She hummed to herself, crossing her legs before she set her journal on her leg, scribbling out that days events. 

1 September, 2013

Though today was taxing, it came out good in the end. We are staying somewhere in Southern California and we still have all seven members of our alliance.

I think Devin might be getting sick, despite my best efforts to keep him safe. Mike is trying his best, too, to keep his love alive, to keep him well and happy. He brings so much to this group. His optimism and his sarcasm are some things I couldn't do without. I need the comic relief he brings to the table. Plus, he's the father of my child. I wouldn't know what to do without him. Though he isn't as skilled as, say, Mike, he does bring a lot to the table and centers the group around his plans. He's not an individualist, he's very group orientated and has the heart to keep us together even though some of us -- Harper, mainly -- don't seem to want anything to do with this world, these people. Devin isn't like that. And I thank him for that. Even if it's not vocally. 

Mike... well he's one of the strongest members here. He doesn't take any one's bullshit, he's always on the prowl. He hunts, he fights off the sickness that comes round us. He is the reason I'm alive. I've learned to follow his instruction, learned to walk in his footsteps. Without him, I don't think any of us would be around. The zombies would have gotten us by now. His contribution to his pact is something I am thankful day after day. Not everyone is as lucky as I am. I have both fathers of my child and my baby is growing and healthy as it can be. As far as I know anyway. Mike has been great to me, very kind. He even found a wheel barrow to cart me around in when i get tired of walking and my ankles have swell to the breaking point. Its so sweet of him.

I really am growing on Craig I think, though he is thinking of other things when we talk. I know he's missing his family and his sanity. He breaks down more than any of us even if he does it when we aren't watching. His anxiety is getting the better of him and I worry he isn't going to make it another week here. Other than Mike though, he is my closest friend in out tribe and I don't want to see him go. He brings so much wisdom to the table; there is so much to learn from him. I've only reached the tip of the iceberg with Craig, and I want to know more. He is so wise and so smart. Losing him to himself would be one of the worst things I would witness, even out here in the wilderness with disease ruining our lives. Self-destruction is not as pretty as some may thing. 

Elektra is my girl! She's so kind and genuine. We have little sleepovers some nights, like tonight, where we bond as girls. Being the only females here, we have to stick together and make the best of what we have. She's become a great companion to have, though I don't think she's going to make it much longer. She's a bit stubborn some times and doesn't always listen to what Mike has to say. She's going to end up getting herself sick, and that's something I'm dreading. However, she does have excellent intuition, her senses coming in handy when we have no clue whether we are safe or not. Its like she's a bloodhound and can smell danger from miles away. She's saved us all on more than one occasion and I love her for it. 

The quiet one of the group is Josh. He keeps to himself and to Devin, his one and only friend from his band still living. They came in to this group together, Devin clinging to the only friend other than Mike. I can't really say anything about Josh, for I don't know him. I've never even talked to him before. He doesn't talk to me and I don't take to him, but he follows Mike's lead so he's a keeper. Anyone who follows Mike is a smart one. Josh is hiding a talent from us, I'm just not sure what it is. He is in full survival mode, just doing what is needed to make it out of this alive, and who can blame him. I think he is detaching himself from everyone because he doesn't want to hurt when anyone else leaves due to the zombies. He's smarter than I would have given him credit for. 

Harper, however is another story. Yes, he is amazing and he is great and he is smart and is handy with any sort of weapon you can give him, but he doesn't talk to me much anymore. Ever since I got pregnant. I chose to keep him safe from the disease, just like Mike and Devin, because I love him. I don't know why I do, for he can be a complete arse. There is just something about him that draws me towards him. I can't get enough of him, even when his attitude overrides his kind and gentle behaviour. I'm hoping that when this baby gets out of my stomach, he'll come back around. I know he doesn't like babies or pregnancy. Maybe its best that I just leave him be. Maybe I should get over it and let my heart find someone else that can care for me the way I need to be cared for. I know that easier to write out than its easier to do. Who knows how we'll end up, but for now, that's on the back-burner. We need to stay alive, not in love. 

Looks like its time for me to pass out. I know that this is one of the only nights I'll have to really rest. Might as well use it to my best advantage. 

She closed her book and placed it and the pen back in her knapsack. She laid back in the double bed and looked over to Elektra's sleeping form, smiling at her friend. She curled up to the woman and cuddled her, cradling her stomach in her hands. 

Weeks later, she took out her journal again and started writing viciously. 

21 September, 2013

Electra is gone. We had nothing left to do other than leave her behind once she got sick. We are running on no sleep, no food, no nothing. We are falling apart. 

Devin is sicker than ever, he's on his last legs. Craig is losing his mind do to the anxiety attacks. Mike is the only one who is sane enough around here to keep his head on his shoulders. I don't think we are making it much longer. Its only been 20 days since we started this alliance and we've got almost nothing left. Josh and Mike have formed a team, hunting and cooking together, making the meat they catch edible for the rest of us. 

My friend is gone. I miss her too much for words. I think I might have to hang myself before the end of this. There is no hope for us. I'm scared I will be too sick to do anything in the coming days. I've been feeling ill and hanging around Devin isn't making it any better. 

Mike has to carry me in his wheel barrow more often than not, and he's getting tired from it, I can tell. 

I'm not making it much farther, I don't think. We have a lot of positivist running through our unit, but I'm lagging. I think its best if I just fall behind and stay there. I don't want to being the rest of the troupe down with me. 

For the most part we are staying strong and trudging though. I just hope the rest of us live to tell the tale. 

I'm here with Andy Biersack, Michael Bohn, Kellin Quinn, Zoella Sugg, Vic Fuentes, and Devin Sola. Unfortunately only one of them is my friend and will be personally helpful towards me, but the pregnancy -- however the baby managed to survive without her mum or it getting sick, I'll never know -- is making it hard for Zoe. I know that she's going through a lot and I'm trying to help her as much as I can. All of these people, though some of them are on my shitlist, are actually trying to pull through and make this work. I tend to look for the good in everyone, but these people are really starting to grow on me regardless of that fact. 

Andy.

He's a great joker, someone who can make all of us in out little camp laugh no matter the circumstances. He's showing signs of getting ill, but he tries to deny it. I know we'd all do anything to save ourselves from this disaster, and he is no exception. He's an inspiration to me, honestly. There is no one here in the tribe like him; he's truly amazing. He was the one that formed our little alliance and he's the one that keeps us together in the meantime. I'll be sorry to see him go, but I know its coming. There is nothing to deter him from the inevitable. 

Devin. 

Never got to know this one too much in the real world, however in this new place after the infection got to the populace, I've learned that he and I are one in the same. Mike didn't make it in the long run, and neither did Alice or their baby. Devin lost more than I could ever imagine, yet his gothic ways are somewhat exuberant nevertheless. He seems on the bright side of life, but I know he's aching inside. We all are. He's doing us some good though, making the food for all of us to eat. He and I have become hunting pals and have had many a good conversation while out in the woods, fighting for food and our survival. He's absolutely brilliant and I wouldn't want to be stuck here with anyone else. 

Kellin.

Shitlist, total shit bag. He doesn't participate in the group much since his family passed from the sickness, but he was an ally to Andrew, and there is something about him that keeps a healthy balance between the good and evil dynamic of the group. Not that he's in the likeness of the devil, but he's good as he can be with that ego of his. He likes to pretend to be the ruler of the group, however, no one can really like him as much as he wishes.

I feel bad for him, though. He's the sickest one here. He was taking care of his daughter up until the last moments, and now he's ill, too. Probably how Andrew got sick in the first place. I know they are close. I suppose everyone here -- just about -- having lost someone so important to them... I guess it unites us even though I don't like Kellin that much. I guess it could have been worse. 

He's really starting to pull his weight around here. Even offered to go hunting with Devin and I the other day. He's learning that cockiness isn't going to get him anywhere in this world. He's been here long enough to grow humble. And that, I believe, is why he survived. To learn a lesson. 

I wish I could say I'm going to miss him when he's gone, and maybe a part of me will, but he's one of the weakest links here. We need strength. He just doesn't have it. 

Micheal. 

I don't know Micheal at all. I never really got to know him, but he's shy, at least in this group. He's one of the few that shows his hurt. He lost a loved one too, and we can all sympathize with him, but he just won't seem to give us the chance. He makes us fires, he's skilled in making shelters -- he says its from watching the science and discovery channel before the outbreak. Who knows, really but he's brilliant with his knowledge and his techniques. He gives his all for this group, even if he can be a bit anti-social. 

He doesn't seem to like us, but without us he wouldn't be alive, so I think he sticks around us because of that. I wish him the best in whatever he does. I don't think we would know half the things we do without this member of the group. He's a great man and we are blessed to have him with us. 

Vic.

The dreamer of the group would have to be Vic. He thinks this world is going to turn around. He constantly says there can't be only us living here, there has to be others on the earth surviving just as we are. I believe him some occasions, but others, not so much. Maybe we will all die out here, all on our own. There might not be any hope for us, but Vic... he gives us that hope.

Zoella.

Last, and certainly not least, there is Zoe. The only woman here with us. The only hope for us to repopulate. She is our only hope and yet there is no hope at all. Her and the baby are all we have. And we can only pray that the fetus will be another female. There has to be another way to make more humans on this godforsaken planet. There has to be a way to keep them save and not sick once they are born. I'm not sure how to start it out, but Zoella is our only way at this point. 

She and I have come to an agreement to have children and make this place worth living. Gabe would have wanted it this way. 

________________________________________

Unfortunately, not all of us survived this terrible event. Andy was the first to go, shockingly, followed by Kellin. losing them both were one of the saddest things any of us had been through. I think Zoella is starting to get sick, but Vic, Micheal, and Devin are going strong. Zoella is due any moment now, her first child growing so quickly. I can't wait to have another human here with us. 

Micheal has agreed as well to procreate with Zoella, seeing as I'm on my last legs. Devin is still too distraught to make other babies after losing his one and only with Alice.