#utatori

Itori will readily admit that she felt a bit bummed after he had been gone for a while, when she realized she had to celebrate her birthday without him. To his credit, he did make a phonecall to congratulate her and at the moment it had seemed enough. Then, once they had ended the call and she had been left alone in her bar, she had felt lonelier than ever.

She doesn’t feel any better now, when it is Christmas Eve and her bar is nearly empty because most people have someone to celebrate with. And she does not, because her partner in crime is halfway across the world. She keeps up the act of cheery barmaid for as long as she can, consoling herself with the fact that she is going to close the bar early tonight. No one is going to come and drink until the wee hours in the morning tonight. It is hard to keep the act up though, until it is near closing time.

And Renji enters the establishment.

“Ren-chan!” She jumps at the chance for a distraction from her depressing thoughts and feels a little less lonely when he sits down in front of her. Once everyone is gone, and the door is locked, she offers him a choice between wine and coffee. He grunts, and the answer is obvious. He can’t hold his liquor for shit, of course he wants coffee. She pouts, calls him a party pooper, but lulls the coffee machine to life.

“What brings you here, Ren-chan? Aren’t you going to celebrate with Touka-chan, Kanekicchi and Ichi-chan?”

“No one should be alone on Christmas.” Renji says, thanking her as she sets a cup of coffee in front of him. She fills herself a glass of wine, because even if Renji is here right now, she needs something stronger than coffee.

“Oh, were you thinking of me? How sweet of you, Ren-chan!” She gush, but he gives her that look that tells her he knows she is putting up a front. And she’s tired of faking smiles tonight anyway.

“Am I so transparent now?” She asks, smile falling off her face.

“Hn.” She takes a sip from her glass, mulling.

“You’re also invited over. Touka thought you might be lonely tonight.” Renji informs her and the redhead huffs.

“Contrary to what everyone else believes, I do have other friends than you and U-chan.”

“Are these friends real?” She glares at him, actually upset by his comment because no, they are not.

“Be quiet!” But he doesn’t keep quiet, surprisingly.

“Are you okay?” To have Yomo Renji, of all people, notice how she’s not her usually cheerful self, is kind of sad, but she explains to him how it feels kind of weird, and lonely, that for the first time for as long as she can remember, she will not be celebrating Christmas with Uta. Itori never once celebrated any birthday or holiday before she met the mask maker, so everything feels wrong, but she had honestly been excited on his behalf when he told her he had found the chance to go on this trip. A trip that would let him experience all kinds of art. Even though she knew he would be gone for quite some time, she hadn’t thought it would feel this bad.

“But he was so excited, it was almost like when we were kids again. He’s been wanting to go on this kind of trip since he figured out he was good at art, that he loved doing it.”

“For what it is worth,” Renji says as he stares into his coffee, “I think that you supporting him meant a lot to him.”

“I’ve always supported him.” Itori says quietly, grip tightening on her glass. “From when we were kids, I’ve always had his back. Hey, Ren-chan?” The male turns his head to look at her, and his eyes widen at the sight that meets him.

“Am I being stupid?” She asks, tears falling from her eyes. She doesn’t even bother attempting at stopping the waterfall. She’s kept this bottled up inside for so long, she’s wanted someone to talk to, but she’s had no one she felt like she could confide in. When humans and ghouls considered each other enemies, when the Clowns had been active, she had distracted herself with orchestrating the tragedies that took place, but now that they live in peace with humans, there are no more fights to create and watch over.

“Uh…” Renji doesn’t know what to say and that makes Itori laugh as she cries.

“I am stupid, aren’t I? I’m stupid for loving him! He’s going to find someone on this trip who is an artist like him, and he’s going to stay with them in whatever-country! Even worse, he might bring them home!” As he embraces his friend and tries to calm her down, Renji also sends a text-message to Touka to tell her he might be late.

Uta himself is feeling a bit lonely as well. There is a museum that is open today, but considering what day it is, it will probably close early. He’s still in bed in his hotel, it’s still early, but in Tokyo it is probably late by now. It is still better to call now though, than in the evening because he is sure no one will answer him then. He takes a shower and dresses himself, before heading out. The people outside are running around, carrying bags and boxes and nearly yelling into their phones. They are stressed, because Christmas is upon them and they must finish the last preparations before they can celebrate and Uta thinks about what his friends back home is doing right now. Back home, Renji is probably with the Kaneki household, Uta muses. Nico is probably scouring the streets for the one, the Nishikis are probably doing some kind of form of experimentations, Naki and Miza are having their hands full with their new family, most likely, and Itori…

Itori is most likely alone in her bar.

Uta misses her. A lot. This trip is fun, but it’s lonely too. He never expected to feel like this… the trip is fun, he just shouldn’t have gone all alone. And the coffee is awful. No one can compare to :Re, but it’s all he’ll get until he returns. He enters a café, asks for a cup of coffee, and pops in his earphones as he takes a seat by a table. He dials Itori’s number, hoping she’s got some time for a video-call and when she doesn’t pick up immediately he thinks that she’s either perhaps busy or asleep. He’s about to give up when she does answer. Her hair is covering half of her face and her eyes blink sleep from them.

“Oh my, did I wake you?”

“U-chan? What time is it?” Itori squints at her phone.

“Well, it’s almost noon here.” He quips.

“Where are you now? It’s two in the morning here.” She yawns.

“I’m in the states.” She brightens, eyes twinkling as he sleepiness is soon forgotten.

“How is it there? Are the Christmas decorations just as over-exaggerated as they are in the movies?” He laughs at her excitement and nods.

“Almost. They take it very seriously.”

“Ara, U-chan! Bring me a souvenir!”

“Do you have a gift for too, then?” She rolls her eyes and reaches out to beside the bed, before appearing on screen again, holding a small package.

“I have your Christmas gift right here, not that you’re here to open it in time.”

“Yeah, well-“ Uta is interrupted when a waitress sits down his coffee on the table as she cheerfully tells him to enjoy his beverage.

“Cheery girl.” Itori’s voice has lost some of it’s cheer and Uta blinks. She’s slid properly beneath the covers again, and she’s pouting.

“Hm, yes.” Apparently that is not the answer the redheaded ghoul wants to hear, as her eyes darken. “But as for my gift for you, what do you want?” Changing the topic seem to work. He sits for a long time with her as she lists all the things she’d like and Uta realizes he’ll have a hard time choosing from her list. His cup is almost empty by the time she’s out of things she wants him to bring home to her.

“Hm, that’s a lot.” He says, taking on a thoughtful expression. “How about you come with me next time?” There’s a pause as Itori tilts her head, watching him.

“Will there be a second trip?” She doesn’t sound all that enthusiastic about the prospect, and Uta himself misses his friends and his shop.

“Only if you come with.” He says. He misses Itori, their nights in the bar, the easy conversations which seem a bit difficult to have over the phone. He misses being able to just head over and visit whenever he wants. Itori thinks back to what she had told Renji earlier, how she has admitted to him the feelings she holds for the mask maker, her inner conflict over what to do, wondering if there even is something for her to do. She had been so surprised when the stoic ghoul had actually embraced her. Renji is usually so awkward when it comes to comforting others and Itori’s never sought comfort from anyone.

“Do what you must.” He had told her. “Don’t worry about what’ll happen, do what you have to do to feel better. No matter what, I’ll be here to listen.” And then, when he left, she had gone to bed with a newfound courage. She had believed she had a few months left until she could say anything, to have some time to think through her words.

“If it’s you and me, I guess I could tag along.” She mumbles, hiding her pink cheeks behind her pillows.

“Good.” He smiles. “You weren’t alone today, were you?” He asks and she shakes her head.

“Ren-chan came by.”

“Oh? Did you celebrate together?” He can’t exactly say that he’s unhappy that Renji came by, but there’s a dark emotion brewing in the back of his mind at the thought of the two of them alone.

“No, we just talked for a bit.” Her cheeks darken and she casts her eyes down, avoiding eye-contact, and that dark emotion grows. It’s jealousy, he gathers, though he tries to reason with himself that he’s the one who left on this trip, and that he never once told Renji how he feels about the redhead. If Renji holds the same feelings, then Uta left the playing field completely open by leaving on this trip.

“How nice.” Uta hears how forced he’s own voice sounds. Itori must have picked up on it too, because she looks up at him, eyes wide in confusion. That’s what alerts him to the redness of her eyes, and he comes to the startling realization that Itori has cried. He can’t remember the last time she did that.

“Itori-san, what’s wrong?”

“Wrong?”

“You’ve been crying?” Her eyes widen some more and she is suddenly in a hurry to end the call.

“Nothing’s wrong! Hurry up and finish your trip and come home!” She says and the screen goes black. He blinks at the screen, before he gets up from his chair and dials a new number.

“It’s three in the morning-“

“Tough luck.” Uta growls. He’s feeling a bit angry now, and he’d rather not cause a scene as he pays for his coffee. Just because Japan promotes peace, it doesn’t mean the rest of the world does.

“I’m about to go back to my hotel. Stay awake, Raven, I need to have a chat with you.”

“It can’t wait four hours?”

“No.” There’s a steely undertone to his voice which Renji haven’t heard since they were teenagers, so he wisely keeps quiet until Uta reaches his hotel room. He uses that tie to wake up properly so he can talk properly to his friend, and perhaps make some sense out of whatever it is that made the mask maker angry.

“I heard you stopped by Itori-san’s place earlier.” Uta says the moment he shuts the door behind himself. Renji blinks.

“Yes, to wish her a merry Christmas.”

“Then why has she been crying? What did you do, Renji-kun?” The silver-haired ghoul frowns on the other end before sighing.

“We were just talking. She had an issue, and instead of bottling it up, she let it all out and told me about it.” Uta is the one who frowns this time.

“What issue?” He hasn’t heard anything about a problem Itori might have.

“It’s not exactly something I’m comfortable with telling you. Ask her yourself when you get back.” Renji tells him, running a hand through his hair. “It’s personal, so ask her about it when you return. I assume she’ll have everything sorted out by then.”

“Renji-“

“No. I’m tired, this has nothing to do with me, enjoy your trip, call me when it’s actually appropriate to do so, like after eight in the morning.” Renji ends the call and leaves Uta pouting. True, he did call at an ungodly hour, but they could both have entertained him a bit longer. He’s curious about Itori’s alleged problem though.

Three days later, as Itori moves is cleaning up behind her bar, the door opens. She is about to tell whoever it is that has entered that she has closed, but nearly drops the bottle in her hands when she sees Uta enter.

“U-chan?” She nearly shrieks.

“Yo.”

“Wha- Aren’t you in the states?” She’s more than just a little bewildered. This explains why there had been no phone calls after Christmas, but still, what is he doing here?

“Renji-kun told me that something was bothering you and that I could help, so I came back.” Renji had never said he could help, but Uta had come home anyway, because he is worried. He is worried that Itori kept something bottled up, that she didn’t feel like she could confide in him, and that whatever is troubling her caused her to cry. Itori frowns. She thinks it is sweet of him, to cancel his trip and come home the moment he learns that she is troubled.

“Ren-chan said that? When?”

“I called him after we spoke on Christmas.” Uta answers and the redhead groans. Renji has for once not kept quiet. The one time she needed him to actually be quiet he blabbers like a gossip-loving teenager.

“What did he tell you?”

“That I should ask you yourself when I came back, because you would probably have it all sorted out by then. So, have you sorted it out?” Never mind the fact that Uta should still be gone for another four months, Itori thinks. Of course she hasn’t sorted it all out yet, with only a few days having gone by since she decided to actually spill the beans, so to speak.

“Obviously not. Lock the door.” She rolls her eyes and beckons him to come sit by the bar-counter. He does as told and waits for her to explain everything.

“It’s not a problem, not really. It’s just something that’s followed me for years.”

“Do I have to kill someone?”

“I doubt you will.”

“I can still kill, just point me in the right direction.”

“I don’t need anyone to die. If it was that simple, I’d do it myself.” She huffs and fills him a glass of blood-wine.

“Hm, true that. So, what’s bothering you?”

“Emotions.”

“Ah, they are a hassle, aren’t they?”

“Terribly so.” She agrees as she wipes the counter. Uta raises a brow, because usually when he visits and locks the door, she comes around and sits beside him. What is on her mind, he wonders.

“What’s on your mind, Itori-san?”

“I’m thinking about how to tell you this, without making everything complicated.” She tells him, ducking beneath the counter to rummage through the tiny shelves there for something, Uta doesn’t know what.

“You’re making this far too difficult, Itori-san. Just tell me and I’ll help you figure out a way to deal with it.”

“Absolutely sure of that?” She asks him, peering up from beneath the counter and he nods.

“Of course.”

“Okay then. Come here.” She stands up and motions for him to come closer as she smiles at him.

“You ready?” He nods. She leans even closer and whispers in his ear.

“I. Love. You. U-chan.” The expression on his face nearly makes her burst out laughing. His eyes are wide, his mouth hanging open, his expression a mix of disbelief and shock. She moves back to continue to clean up after her customers and lets Uta process what she’s told him. He doesn’t move for the longest time, but she doesn’t worry too much. It’s not like he showed a negative reaction to what she just told him. She does worry that she might have broken him a bit, but then again, that is an amusing thought too. She is about to turn off the lights and just leave him in the bar when he pulls out his phone and dials a number.

“Renji-kun, good evening. Also, what the fuck?!” This time she does laugh, and Uta spins in his seat, pointing at her.