#sad stuff

There is nothing more I can ask or change about her... At least at the time... When our fourth anniversary approached, Jinsol had already been selected as a trainee under a company after successfully passing the audition.

Unfortunately, this meant we cannot contact each other as often as her phone time is limited, and most of her time is preoccupied with training.

Anyway, most forward, when she finally debuted, we all celebrated together, despite her new status as an idol, she always saw me as her devoted boyfriend.

However, as time went on and as she and her group grew bigger, things took a turn for the worse. She stopped contacting and facetiming as often... Even if we did, she had little interest in me and I felt I was just a bother to her.

I tried brushing it off, thinking it was all fatigue from her busy schedule, but when she had vacations off, she'd rather spend her time with her friends rather than me.

Did I forget to mention that one friend of hers... Was a guy? Yep, you heard me right.

I felt rather hurt by it, when I tried asking her about it, she got defensive and assured I had nothing to worry about. Boy, I should've known it was all nothing but words with no meaning to it.

Nowadays, I spend my days all alone, my friends are all away from the country for better career opportunities, while I was working in a powerplant facility.

I tried calling Jinsol on her phone over and over, but she never answers and puts me on voicemail. At that point, any sane person can expect nothing but the worst outcome.

After all I've done for her... The sacrifices and hardships... We're all nothing to her? I guess so.

That night, I tried one final time...

*ring* *ring* *ring* "I'm sorry, but the person you're reaching out to is not available to take your call at this moment. Please leave a voice message after the tone."

*ringtone*

"Hey, Jinsol... Been a while, has it? If you're even bothering enough to hear this, then... You and I both know it's over. I tried calling you, but you never answered. So, seeing you with your new 'friend', you call him, I'll stop wasting my time bothering ya. I guess everything we've been through... When you debuted and when I helped you up during your training days was forgetting all of that... Really worth it? If so, I can't do much to change anything... You clearly made your choice to be with him... So I hope you two are happy together. But if you aren't... Then you better find someone else to help you up like I did... Because you are not welcome back here. Goodbye."

Mrs. Crabtree smiles gratefully and gets to work.

*****

It isn’t as if he doesn’t realize what’s happening, and, to be honest, he didn’t expect anything different.

For the first time in his life, there are no plans. Nothing to note the occasion. No gifts, or special meals, or pranks.

As it has been for the last few months, it is just quiet.

He passes Anthony in the hall, and there’s a tiny part of him that hopes that maybe-

“Brother,” the eldest Bridgerton nods distractedly as he passes him by.

Benedict nods. “Good morning,” he says quietly.

They’ve only been back in town for a few days, and their mother is, as ever, hiding from the world, still in mourning. He won’t see her today, he knows.

He checks in in the nursery, and rocks little Hyacinth in his arms for a few moments. Plays with Eloise a little.

“You seem sad,” Eloise notes. “Are you sad?”

Benedict smiles at her. “I am not sad. I am merely tired.”

But it is a lie; one he’s been telling more and more and more.

“Easy, Ben,” he mutters to himself in private, using the phrase his father used to to help calm his nerves.

He sets his sights on sketching. Maybe in the garden. He grabs his supplies and heads that way, taking a seat on one of the swings, doodling absently.

“Mr. Benedict.”

He looks up, bracing himself to give one of the staff some direction, or be told that someone is here to see the family. But what he finds is Mrs. Crabtree standing there, holding what looks like a fresh, spiced bun on a little plate.

She hands it to him and pats his shoulder gently. “Just a little something to mark the day, sir. Happy birthday.”

Benedict stares at it for a long moment, taking a breath and giving the woman what might be the first genuine smile he’s given anyone in some time. “Thank you. Thank you, Mrs. Crabtree, this is most thoughtful. I appreciate it very much. Thank you.”

Mrs. Crabtree smiles, patting his shoulder one more time. “I’ll leave you to it. Eat that before it cools.”

Yo I have not posted a drawing in SO LONG bruh- like I'm at that stage of art block where I draw very little, and usually hate most things I finish ughhh