#urghhhhhhh

mk is your life. hes the only reason you didnt kill yourself while you still could have had a bedtime. keeping his clingly little hands grabbing and little tail coiling is your purpose, making sure his cheeks stay fat is the reason you kept going, hes the only reason. hes the reason you didnt stay in the hovel all winter, why you actually went out to find food when you had run out. the reason you bandage your wounds, so he doesnt have to watch them bleed and scab and heal. the reason you even gather the energy to bathe is for him, keeping mk clean, you have to keep yourself clean too.

and now youve realized that it was never clean. you were never properly bandaged and he was never properly fed, even when you gave him everything you could spare to the point youd go hungry so hed have enough.

once they realize the same, that you truly didnt do enough, theyre going to change him, turn him against you, make him hate you. theyre going to banish you, torture you. kill you! leave you to rot in a prison? you didnt care whichever it was honestly, youre little brothers not going to love you anymore. hes going to hate you, hes going to leave you behind and hes going to hate you.

after all, hes just a kid, so easily influenced hes already warmed up to them. he can grow to belong where you would never fit the mold. sure the kings have been doting so far but those gentle hands and never ending bowls aren't for someone like you. someone so scarred, someone so mangled, someone so broken, someone so ugly. the kings and their tenders and the people decorating their house are glorious to even lay eyes on, and nothing could convince you that mk is anything but the cutest baby to have ever lived. youd never fit here and one of these days your going to break again, and one of these days the kings wont be so kind, so gentle, so fabricatedly caring.

but when they get rid of you, will they protect him like you have, can they? will they do what youve done for him? sure theyre bigger, richer, stronger but if they werent? would they have just left him to die? would they have been branded a thief just to get him medicine? would they have sacrificed their body getting him food, keeping him warm, hiding him from raiders? would they have sold him for their own benefit? would they have let him bite holes through their skin to keep him from screaming his little head off? would they have cried for hours and hours with him because they couldnt properly care for his needs? would they have done everything they could to care for something they werent obligated to?

sure, right now they can care for him but whose to say they could in the wild? sure theyre strong enough to beat any foul creature away. sure they can feed him and clothe him and keep him clean without a second thought. sure they are more emotionally stable and can raise him right. theyre safer for mk. better for him.

but hes your brother! youre the reason hes alive and hes the reason your alive! they cant take him from you! they cant. they cant. they cant. they cant. they cant. they cant. they cant. they cant. they cant. they cant. they cant.

hes yours. your litte brother. you wont allow it. you cant. youd rather die. hes your little brother, even if he was their son first, you dont care. you dont care. you dont care. they wouldnt have him at all without you, so hes yours and you wont allow it. youll make him love you. youll make sure he never forgets all the love you have for him. you have to make sure they dont turn him against you, you have to make sure he loves you as much as you love him.

but as the cub stirs in his sleep, soft little breaths, clingy hands and even clingier toes, a tail that finds itself around your arm more than not. you realize again, maybe you dont have to. as much as hes your little brother youre his elder sibling, even if they do try to turn him from you hes yours and he knows it because your his too.

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