#unlessimwrongwhichyouknowimnot

Who insists they are an awesome dancer even though they’re terrible?Fitz is an awful dancer, but he doesn’t try to pretend otherwise. Hunter, on the other hand, is an amazing dancer who tries to keep it on the down-low.

Who likes to watch reality TV?Hunter will watch the ‘Naked and Afraid’ type shows just to critique the people on their survival skills. Fitz thinks he’s stupid for believing any of it is real in the first place.

Who refuses to wear pants when they’re home alone?Hunter. Fitz does not enjoy the idea of visitors surprising him and seeing things they should now see.

Who is the jealous/protective one?Leo the lion is surprisingly protective and no one can convince me otherwise.

Who goes all out on the holidays?It’s a toss-up. They’re both nauseating when it comes to Christmastime, and the ugly sweater competitions… -shudders-

Who cries over books?Fitz cries tears of joy every time he gets a new book about engineering. Hunter just awkwardly pats his nerd boyfriend on the back because who cries over engineering???

Who is terrible with kids?Neither of them; Fitz tells them a bunch of weird monkey facts and Hunter plays games with them and all in all they’re the Cool Uncles to any and every child they meet.

Who drinks too much caffeine?Both of them, not that either of them will admit it (because seriously, who wants to say that they drink eleven cups of tea in a day?).

Who could sleep for twenty-four hours straight?They both could, and they both have. 

Who never wears matching socks?Neither of them do. Fitz doesn’t match on purpose, and since he steals half of Hunter’s socks to do his whole no-matchy thing… well, it becomes exponentially more difficult for Hunter to find a matching pair.

Who punches a tree when they’re angry?Both of them. Smol angry boys are not good with emotions sometimes.

Yay! I finally got around to checking on this and IT DOES WORK!!

I’m also having a pretty shitty day today, but hearing Marc Evan Jackson say “holy motherforking shirt balls” has made it just that little bit brighter.

So glad!  

A Friend Like Rey

Written for @unlessimwrongwhichyouknowimnot for The Fitzsimmons Network Valentine’s Day Exchange.

Prompt:  Aromantic Simmons is confused/annoyed about all the romance happening around the base as Valentine’s Day approaches. Her queerplatonic partner Fitz decides to give her an aromantic Valentine’s Day.

@unlessimwrongwhichyouknowimnot, I hope you enjoy your fic. Thank you so much for patiently answering all my weird questions, and I know Rey wasn’t on the list of your Top 5 favorite Star Wars characters but I hope you’ll enjoy her “appearance” nonetheless. (And the weird reference to Love Actually that I could not resist ;) )

Sneak Peek:

Jemma rounded the corner, heading down the corridor to the lab. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Nathanson standing by the door, attaching a poster of sorts to the glass window. She narrowed her eyes and walked with determination towards the other agent.

“What are you doing?” she barked, a bit more impatiently than strictly necessary.

Nathanson’s head shot around, his wide eyes nervously glancing back and forth between Jemma and the door. He gestured at the poster with his thumb. “Put—putting up the posters for the Valentine’s party.”

Jemma squinted in confusion, taking in the pink and red hearts on the poster and the fine calligraphy font, indeed announcing a S.H.I.E.L.D. Valentine’s Party. She pointed at the poster, staring at Nathanson. “Has this been authorized?”

“Umm,” Nathanson muttered. “Yes. Director Mace—”

“Ugh. Mace. Of course.” Jemma rolled her eyes, sighing in discontent.

Whoops, I wrote this a while back and somehow forgot to post it, sorry! Hope you enjoy it though. Also in a slightly AU where the end of S2 didn’t happen lol

Things had been…overwhelming, to say the least. Recovery was hard and taxing on her both physically and emotionally. Bobbi felt like it was using all of her energy right now, trying to ignore the pain, trying to push her legs into things they really didn’t want to do or maybe yet have the strength for, and the frustration of not knowing how long it would take before things started improving. The panicked questions had begun to set in her mind: what if this was going to be it and she would never get back to how she was before?

She flopped down onto the couch in frustration, her crutches pushed harder than necessary against the nearby wall and they clattered to the ground. Bobbi’s sudden realisation that she couldn’t even move to pick them up since she needed them to walk hit her with enough force to knock the air from her lungs a moment. They protested heavily, or at least the half of her remaining lung did causing a panic attack to spiral. She barely even registered the person beside her, picking up her crutches to lean against the wall properly before crouching down in front of her.

“Just take my hand. It’ll be better, I promise.” Jemma’s voice was soft, calming, yet reassuring, like she knew this would really help. After all, she was a doctor Bobbi reasoned or at least knew enough to provide their onsite medical treatment. The girl focused on her friends voice and the feeling of her hands in hers, slowly calming her breathing and letting it pull her back to reality.

1) I know I’ve said this to you a couple times now, but I’m still really sorry how delayed this is. irl is lame. 2) this ficlet is inspired both by @buckysbears’ Chanukah headcanons/prompts and the second part of @theclaravoyant‘s prompt! Rated G, canon-compliant Academy era FitzSimmons (in their 3rd year). 

Head in hands, Fitz stared at his third year holographic engineering textbook and tried to convince the letters to stop swimming on the page in front of him. The final exam was in exactly seventy-six hours, but after introductory xenorganic chemistry, propulsion engineering, and his “SHIELD in Literature” elective, he was starting to feel like a wrung-out sponge. It didn’t help that the exam was scheduled for the absolute last slot in the week, which meant that half the campus was in a festive mood and he was absolutely itching to be able to join them. (From an acceptable distance, anyway.) With all the best of intentions, he had sequestered himself in one of his favorite private study rooms right after dinner. Four hours later, however, and he felt like he actually remembered the salient parts of the class less than he had before. Only having nine-tenths of the textbook memorized was really not up to par.

Just as he was giving serious consideration to dropping his face directly onto the book and taking a nice multi-hour nap, the door banged open and he nearly fell out of his chair.

“Fitz!” Simmons chirped as she plopped into the seat in front of him. “I have a question for you.”

“Bragg diffraction won the Nobel in 1915, seven years after Lippmann,” he managed to get out through a jaw-cracking yawn.

“As refined as your powers of telepathy are becoming,” she deadpanned, neatly dodging the slow kick he aimed at her red Cons beneath the table, “that’s not what I had in mind.”

Hi, love! Thank you for the ask!

1. Who kills the spider?

They have a contract, written down and everything, that Jemma is not allowed to have more than one (1) bug in the house at any moment in time, so every other one after that is respectfully taken outside.

2. Who reads while the other snuggles up to them?

Fitz and Simmons got years under the belt of studying and reading side by side without bothering the other, just to be together while each one goes about their own tasks. Daisy… shakes that up a little bit, what with asking all the time what they are reading, and reading them out loud parts of her own books and whatnot. She usually places her head on Jemma’s lap and asks to be read out-loud stories like a child, while she usually seeks out Fitz to place his head on her lap and just card through his curls while he reads and she does other stuff.

3. Who likes to eat with fork more that a spoon?

Jemma is a fork type of person, with the kind of food she eats- salads, and nutritious food that need to be cut and etc., while Daisy and Fitz are more the “shove inside your mouth whatever you can reach and swallow it down and then wipe your hand on your shirt” type.

4. Who laughs at funny words?

They all got healthy senses of humour, but Daisy often gets uncontrollable fits of laughter by the crazy words Fitzsimmons use on their line of work, while Jemma scolds her and Fitz just stands behind them with a deadpan expression. They have a ton of internal jokes where a very innocent-looking word can set the three of them in hysterics, though.

5. In high school what would their stereotype(s) be? Examples - nerd, jock, band geek ect

Fitz would be the lonely nerd, and Daisy the cool loner. Somewhere in between, Jemma would be The Perfect Girl Who Got Everything- the brain, the looks, the friends-, but gets bored of everything anyway and is always looking for something bigger and brighter.

6. What type of parents would they be?

I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THEM AS PARENTS. Jemma would be the one that makes the rules and enforces the bedtime and the balanced diet, and sits them down for the sex talk, but also she is the one who can cure everything and make the coolest things in the lab and that does everything in her power to help their child follow their dreams, even if that means it would take them away from their parents, or what they would like for them. Daisy is the one who makes the funny voices during story time, and the one who would help them look cool in front of their crush and would take them to the park to play ball, but also the one that is always there for the nightmares and that would give them her jacket when the kid left theirs in the car even though they were told not to. Fitz is the one who would embarrass them the hardest in front of their friends, but always knows when they need a hug, and would take their daughter shopping for a bra unfazed, and would make sure to tell their son that there is no shame in being who you are and liking what and who you like.

THEY ARE SUCH A COOL PARENTAL UNIT, I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT THIS. 

7. What is their favourite show to watch together?

If a bet can be done about it, they are in. Simmons is ruthless about winning, and Fitz and Daisy enjoy both plotting against her and rewarding her when she was right. They also enjoy watching together old shows from their childhoods, to share them with the others.

8. Do they like the food network channel?

It’s cool, but it’s not their favourite.

9. Who likes to walk their dogs while the other lets the dogs walk them?

Jemma would never ever in her life let anything take the reins for her, so it’s a simple solution: both the dog and her run. Daisy and Fitz don’t care that much and let the dog do whatever it wants.

10. Who is the more relaxed one?

Daisy for sure. She has even established Relax Monthly Seshs for them all where, if they can afford the time, they go get massages all together and then take a nice relaxing night out. If they can’t afford that much time out, they take a shower together and then take two hours of their lives to lay together on bed. And yes, she puts them in their shared planner to get Jemma off her back.

11. Who likes to be out in nature more?

Daisy and Jemma have a great time outside together, Jemma collecting bugs and leaves and Daisy playing with her powers. They had had amazing make out sessions rolling together on the grass, too, or holding hands laying face up with  sun on their souls. Fitz watches them from the porch sipping his lemonade and eventually joins them for the stargazing.

12. Who initiates cuddling sessions?

Fitz is usually the best at sensing that one of the girls is upset and starts them, but on the regular Daisy is a big starter too. Jemma loves to join on then, it just doesn’t come as naturally to her.

13. Who is always running late and always gives the other a running late quick kiss?

Jemma is usually overwhelmed by things, and even though she is not late, she feels like she is, she always wants to do better and sometimes sacrifices for the sake of that things that maybe she… shouldn’t. Fitz is the one that gets too focused that sometimes he forgets completely about a goodbye kiss. Daisy is the one who works in different stuff and different missions, and sometimes she doesn’t get a chance to give them a goodbye kiss. They all work hard to try to compensate for each of their weaknesses.

14. Who bakes the other a cake and puts a playful insult on it?

Fitz bakes, Daisy decorates, but doesn’t use insults, Jemma criticizes the nutritional value and eats them with a smile anyway.

15. Who would wrap the other in a blanket when the other one has a bad day?

Life has been hard on them in a lot of ways, and probably it will always be hard, but they are, luckily, so good at taking care of each other, and that includes having a healthy cycle of doing this for each other.

Send me a ship and I will tell you…