I think of those weeks so often. Every summer, a fortnight, the four of us in the warm light of a kitchen, and I am looking at you. I’ve always been looking at you, though I’m not sure that you know this.
These weeks were international waters, you see — a ceasefire. We still bicker, sure, but it holds no real malice. These trips felt almost to the left of reality, and they seemed to bring out a certain childishness within us. We are, once again, two children in the grass, wrestling for the fun of it. I kiss you purely because I can. We always take separate rooms, knowing we will sneak across the hallway in the dead of night — for sex the first few times, and for the familiar warmth most of the rest.
It’s all so terribly domestic. I feel almost sick with the thickness of it, so sweet on the tongue. I could almost get used to it. The spell always broke, as it had to, and we all went back to our daily lives. He and I would never speak of it. To the left of reality, remember? Memory in a language we don’t speak.