Pink detective: Is everything alright?

Tippet: Yep. Two corpses, everything's fine.

thing I made a few months back.

tank top & jeans: my older sister

Person A: I'm at 25 percent. I'm fine.

I (36F) have been in a relationsip for the past 4 months with my BF (44M). For the past 4 months thing have felt like out of a dream. He would get me just because little gifts that make me happy, has been there when I been having some health issues. He was also my rock while one of my parents was in the hospital for over a month.

Things seems to be flowing perfectly between the 2 of us. It felt like I had finally found someone that wanted me for me instead of just a bed partner. Cooking, cuddling, talking, it all felt natural. After 8 years of bad dates and situationships, he felt exactly what I was missing.

He does have some flaws (who doesnt, I know I do). His biggest flaw is that he does not know how to tell when he needs to stop drinking on his off days. I have no issues with people drinking (Im 8 years sober). However, I do have an problem when drinking becomes their personallity and how they dont know how to fuction as a person when they are beyond drunk. My extended family has a history of being alcoholics and I know the damage it can do.

This past weekend he started to distance from me and being very harsh towards the little things I do for him. He got so drunk that he decided to make out with a random person at a party that I was not in attendance. I had no idea he was at a house party until the following morning when he calls me for a ride home. When I got to the house, he was still drunk out of his mind to the point that he brought an open beer can into my car. I then made sure that the can was empited before he got into my car and that he removed it from his person before we left. On the drive back to his place is where he proceeds to tell me that he did something stupid and made out with another person. I asked if there was more that he did with this person, and assured me that he did not. I tried my best to stay calm as I was driving. Once I dropped him off at home, I then proceeded to have a small breakdown and moved on.

My heart wants me to give him another chance as it was just kissing, but my head is telling me to run as he does not know his alcohol limits and is willing to this behind my back.

I asked him if the roles were reversed, how would he feel. He has still not answered this question. I have asked him how he is willing to prove this wont happen again to me, only for him to ask me what I want.

So reddit, am I over or under reacting to this situation? or should I just cut this loose and move on?

\*\* EDIT / Context \*\*

He and I have known eachother for around 6 years. However, we have never dated. While we are still getting to know eachother, I have told him that Im done with this behaviour. I have told him that my trust in him has been broken and that it is going to be a while before or if I can trust him again. While we are on this cool off period, I am going to keep him at arms length until I know. I truly do think that he knows what he has done was in the wrong, he has always told me that his actions speak louder than words. So I am going to let him show me that I can trust him again.

Reddit consensus: NOT OVERREACTING (NOR) (99% confidence)

Top comment: “He's a drunk. This is who he has chosen to be and this is a bigger issue than making out with someone else, IMO. NOR. Cut him loose.”

Notable comment: “NOR, I feel like you need to listen to your head on this one. Don’t invest more than 4 months into a relationship that has red flags already waving.

Edit: My face after OP’s edit 🙄”

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UPDATE: I appreciate the discussion on ai this started. I appreciate everyone's perspectives and takes, it's an important topic that requires nuance and willingness to understand others points of view. I'm going to let my boss do his thing and mind my business. If he has questions regarding the product, I'll answer them.

...

A few months ago he (40s, company owner) came into my (20s, employee) little office and asked me "what do I think about AI". I gave him a basic rundown of the best uses for it, what it can do, and how it works. I told him that it can be a great tool for complex google searches, or to total a bunch of weird square footages up quickly. I tried my best to explain what a LLM was, but I don't think he got it. We are in the business of making things for people.

Well, he started using it here and there. He's notoriously terrible at grammar and spelling, and so he used it to clean up his emails. I thought that was impressive, as I hadn't imagined him even caring about that sort of thing. It also makes me look better, because now the clients don't think I work willingly for someone who is barely literate.

However, he then subscribed to the paid version, and had it start making some "design mock ups".

The thing is, we have a full time, legit designer that he pays for work when we need it. The designer is highly qualified, has his own team of employees, and even has quick turn around times. The designer and him are friends, and the designer expressed many valid reasons why he shouldn't use ai for mock ups, and none of his reasons were even about ethics. It was about precise measurements, things like that.

I stayed out of the conversation, even though I agreed with the designer. I don't want to stir the pot.

Well, flash forward to now.

He used chatgpt to make several designs to be presented as options to a client. I'm on this meeting. The clients were very impressed, he said thank you. They said to give props to whoever made these, he said he would.

I really didn't like that. It seems like complete fraud to provide someone ai work and pass it off as legitimate design.

The images ai created had no basis for real-life fabrication, it's not like it cares if we can make this thing or not. Or if it CAN be made or not.

Since that meeting went over well, it seems like he has it in his head that this should be done more often. And now he gives a task and is like "Maybe its something we put into ai". The dude thinks it's magic, and has no idea about the discourse surrounding it.

I think my boss is in the wrong for doing this, and I haven't said anything. Am I underreacting? Or are my thoughts and disgust an overreaction?

Should I just explain ai to him more? His ego is as big as that clock in england, so it's usually better to just stay quiet. But if it's a matter of ethics, should someone voice that?

Reddit consensus: NOT OVERREACTING (NOR) (77% confidence)

Top comment: “Nor ~ but I wouldn’t say anything. I would start putting away some money though because that will be his downfall and you may lose your job if he loses his.”

Notable comment: “NOR - I also don’t think it’s really a question about overreacting or underreacting. I do think it’s a disservice to your clients or customer base. I use AI a lot - personally and professionally - but it has limits, lots of them.

I would never produce something with AI in a work setting without being willing to sign it off as mine - like reviewed, validated, proofed. You have to be able to stand behind it.

I know you said he had an ego, but I would still say something coming from the business perspective of how this could be damaging to him, the business, the reputation, the clients. He may still not care and proceed with it anyway - but really it’s about professional integrity and you already feel like it’s wrong.

How to bring it up to avoid defensiveness or pride/ego - I don’t think I have any advice but wish you luck”

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