But my approach wasn't what the youthful employees had done before, I got up from behind my computer, left my desk and went to go see people, my 'clients' as we called them. I am a great believer in face-time and the importance of looking folks in the eye, listening the timber of their voice, and noticing their body language. All of these are a part of the emotional intelligence I have developed while working in whyte corporate America, I use my natural empathy in a way that probably isn't prescribed or best practice, but it ultimately gets the job done, efficiently and quickly.

But I do not look like everyone else in corporate America, and mind you this particular company was quite Black and also queer, I may have been a note too fabulous for this space, albeit it was in essence a creative space. This is part of my becoming more myself as I mature, I remain unapologetic in my approach to the world, how I present myself and this was reflected in my daily fashion which spoke to my unique voice as much as anything.

I don't think anything I wore was outlandish or even unprofessional in a business casual office where some folks would literally wear shorts and t-shirts to work everyday. I had one of my clients say to me after I was told her I couldn't see her any more because of my excessive visibility, was that she enjoyed seeing what I was wearing everyday and our brief check-ins, she felt she knew exactly where we stood on any particular project that we were working on and it left her free to focus on other real issues.

The thing I loved about this very whyte, heteromantic and patriarchal world was that unlike my past in the non-profit sector I was paid a more than livable wage, and I was able to usually utilize my mind, not my body to do my work. My real question is, what does it matter what I wear if I satisfactorily execute my job responsibilities? I will never get an answer to that question, so it will remain rhetorical.

I recall my working at one place maybe not even two weeks when the boss there seemed to admire my freelance mentality and quit. We had previously talked about how I like the off-and-on of contract work, I'd work a couple of months in one place and then take a trip to South America for a month, or three months somewhere else and go to Africa for ten days. The gigs were short enough for me to stay pleasant all throughout because my time was only temporary. Clearly she was sold and wanted to make a lifestyle change herself. #WasThatMyFault?

Looking back on all of this and where I am now I have no regrets, the next time I would be employed would be twenty-twenty, six year later, hundreds if not thousands of emails sent out, dozens of interviews, but not one closing. I wasn't as young as I used to be, quite a few positions I was also over-qualified for even with trimming my resume considerable to appear 'younger', but I think I had become TOO BLACK, TOO QUEER and TOO GENDER NON-CONFORMING. I refused to dim my light or alter my behavior to make whyte people more comfortable with my very overt Africaness, and I was unapologetic about it all.

Today I live off the interest from my investments, I wear what I want, I sleep as late as I please, and my days are filled with the thing I want to do and the folks I want to fuck with, and I needn't attempt to diminish myself in any way to conform to anyones anything. No one should have to change themselves to be suitable to work, if they have the education, experience and abilities. Folk should be hired on their merits and the fact that they can execute the job, not by how comfortable or uncomfortable they make you, or if they know your friends little friend. Nepotism has become the law of the land if you want to work in this country, and I am so pleased its a practice I don't have to fuck with anymore.