#undefined relationship

“Why should I? What’s there to do? Where is there to go, huh?” You burst out, turning around in your chair in one quick motion, effectively silencing her.

Your friend, Wanda was too stunned to speak from your words so she stood at the door with her hands wrapped around her torso. 

“Because… it’s- it hurts seeing you like this every day.” She spoke quietly.

“Well, no one asked you to come here! I never requested your presence, not once!” You shouted back, letting your suppressed emotions rage out. Wanda faintly flinched from the tone of voice you emitted, her knuckles turning white from the pressure she was applying to her bunched hands. 

“I know you didn’t ask me but I wanted to come, you’re my friend-” She was cut off.

“Yeah, friend, ok, like that hasn’t stopped people from leaving before,” You muttered under your breath, loud enough for Wanda to hear.

Wanda looked away instantly and sucked in a shallow breath, it was eating away at her to see you in this condition. You were all she had left and seeing the way you spoke with such hostility towards her shattered her heart.

“Well, I’m sorry for caring Y/n, has it ever crossed your mind that I haven’t left you, and never will?” She snaps, her hands flying to her sides as she advances on you, looking down on you which made your eyes falter just for a second.

“When will you realize that I don’t need you, Wanda. Just because I’m crippled doesn’t mean I need your ‘support’.” You yelled back, enmity dripping from your words as you yelled your true thoughts out.

Wanda lost all hope of having a civil conversation with you today, but in reality, she never actually had a civilized conversation with you for months. She walked out of the room the next second, you were hot on her heels moving to slam the door shut with the best of your strength you barely had to begin with.

You let out a huff in anger and wheeled your way back to the window, one more person gone. You stared out the window and saw Wanda’s retreating form, she was wiping at her eyes with the sleeve of her cloth shirt as she marched down the hill towards her red Buick Verano. Deep down you didn’t want her to leave but you didn’t know how to speak up and say it, deep down you did need Wanda for the emotional support you needed greatly.

You have always felt as if there was a dark cloud that followed you around everywhere, you’ve always felt as if there was something wrong with yourself but you could never seem to get away from the thoughts, so they ate at you. You distanced yourself from your family and close friends unconsciously and made yourself believe that everyone was leaving you when it was the exact opposite.

So when the accident happened a few months ago, everything finally snapped for you, losing the ability to walk was the most strenuous thing that has ever happened to you. Now it gave people a real physical reason to look at you with such pity that you deeply despised. A permanent scowl rested on your face, you were sick of it all. All of the looks, all of the emotions, all of the struggle. You detested yourself so much like you were trapped in a revolting body that you felt confined to against your will. You had stopped looking into the mirror when you used the bathroom and stared up when moving in the wheelchair so you didn’t have to look at the limp limbs that brought so much more darkness upon you.

But at the same time, your feelings about the situation were a little exultant, how you now had a real reason for people to accept your demoralizing behavior. Somewhere in your mind, you thanked the drunk driver who carelessly crashed into the side of your automobile and shattered your spine. It also gave you a reason to quit and give up, and that's why you were currently being held in a psychiatric hospital where nurses invaded your privacy every hour and you felt unbearably uncomfortable all the time. But at the end of the day, she brought herself here, isolating herself to the point of extreme loneliness.

Now knowing that everyone that has tried coming close to you is gone you can no longer bear to look out the window, turning herself away from it and wheeling herself over to your bed, unfolding the corner of the sheets that you could reach and doing your best to get onto the bed. Once you propped herself up on the bed, swinging your flimsy legs over the edge and tucking them further into the sheets you let out a sigh of relief. Not having to look at your legs anymore brought you some fulfillment, you were also pleased with the way you got into bed. Not having to ask for help even though the bed was lowered specifically for you but that didn’t matter to you because you haven’t slept in your bed ever since you arrived here. Too much of a burden attempting to get in and out every single day and you didn’t want to put any effort into it and opted to stay remained in the wheelchair, accepting your fate that you didn’t have to stick to.

Day by day you stayed in the same position, curled up in the bed whose sheets were too thin and the comforter reeked of antiseptics. Your head remained in the same position on the firm pillow, tears not daring to escape your fatigued eyes. You stared off into the distance, looking at the unadorned white wall, you felt as if you were looking at yourself in a mirror, eerily bare. You refused to turn around and have that window in your view, you hated the frayed and worn-out window that has been your constant view for months.

»

You couldn’t figure out why you no longer wanted to look out the window, but unknown to you that’s the sign everything was about to change. While in isolation multiple nurses came over to check on you and get you to eat but each time they came around you got more still and silent, hoping they would go away. You knew that when they left they were scribbling down paragraphs on your behavior and what doses of drugs to fill you up with to fix you.

This time of intense seclusion gave you time to swim around in your deep dark thoughts and process what was to be the rest of your life. And as you fell into sleep each night you imagined being surrounded by your family members who were either dead or fell out of contact with you. Making up scenarios in your head of happy moments that never existed, but at least it was a distraction that you needed from the mass loneliness you felt so often.

As more and more of the dreams started to occur, you got stuck in a world of make-believe, building fake connections with made-up people that put a sorrowful smile on your face. But it all stopped the second you were brought back to reality to see that you now had needles injected into your arms, and machines surrounded you. Your squinted crusted eyes looked around the fluorescent consumed room, possibly thinking you had made it to the gates of heaven. But as your eyes adjusted to the light you realized you were still in the harrowing hospital room you longed to leave even if it was just for one second, your permanent frown deepening. 

As you looked around more you found Wanda curled up in the hospital room's plastic uncomfortable armchair, your heartstrings tugged and twisted deeply in your chest at the sight, feeling guilty for having put her in this position, you questioned why she was still here pretending to care.

A sudden stinging feeling spiked in your throat and you started to cough harshly, trying to remove the lodged object from your mouth. Your heart monitor started to beep rapidly, effectively shaking Wanda right from her deep sleep. She shot up from the armchair, eyes frantically searching the room when they landed on your struggling figure, rushing over to your bedside and removing your hands from clawing at the feeding tube more.

“No, no you need that. You can’t remove it, please Y/n.” Wanda pleaded with teary eyes.

It was hard for you to keep eye contact with her, after all this time it was still another type of hurt when you saw Wanda crying or overly emotional. So you opted to look away from her daunting eyes and to her limp fingers that wrapped around each other.

A sharp pang in Wanda’s heart at seeing you redirect your gaze, but she knew that you couldn’t talk from the tube, and somehow that made her feel better so she wouldn’t be able to hear your venomous words full of malicious intent.

“I thought I lost you,” She spoke softly, gently resting her hand on your cold arm. “You can’t die.”

This made you look up at her with wide eyes, searching for dishonesty, and tears started to form in your eyes.

“I know you won’t believe this, but I care for you, deeply. You might think everyone abandoned you, but Y/n I’m still here and I always will be. You are loved.” She said calmly, watching a single tear slip from your shallow eye.

You shook your head in denial and moved away from Wanda’s soothing touch, but Wanda didn’t take it harshly as she swiftly climbed on the bed and curled up next to your stiff form.

“I can’t lose you,” Wanda spoke, breaking the short silence.

Your harsh breathing started becoming shallow at Wanda’s confession, you hadn’t thought about what this has done to Wanda. How you never really cared to ask or know what goes on in her life since she told you how you were her only friend at the beginning of your relationship. 

Suddenly you felt very selfish about never caring to ask or even check up on her to see if she was doing ok because you wished someone would have done that to you sooner before everything got progressively deplorable. At this moment you realized that you might have not wanted her company, but Wanda needed yours. 

You wrapped your hand around Wanda’s shoulders, pulling her in tighter. Instead of sitting here resenting and ignoring her, you could try to make the situation better and accept her advances to heal your chipped relationship. 

You realized that you were both in some way broken and in need of healing, just expressing the affliction differently, you would rather do it together than apart. You wanted to be there for Wanda because, in the end, she was all you had left and why would you waste your time in your thoughts making up imaginary scenarios of fake happiness when you could get the real thing from in front of you.

You could come together and heal instead of staying separated, over time your bond would eventually become just as strong as when you first bumped into each other at the library all those years ago, how Wanda didn’t let you out of her grasp after that. Now thinking back on how you were never truly lonely, or maybe it was because you were two lonely people who stuck together just to have someone.

You would learn to focus on yourself and your needs while being there for Wanda who fundamentally was also very dolorous. Also realizing that you weren’t bound to the self-deprecating loneliness that you felt so often, now you had a chance to change it, alter the course of your feelings, and your fate, and move forward one step at a time, together with Wanda.

Getting Childe back to Liyue was a simple affair, he wasn't hindered by any pain he might have been in. The Snezhnayan wasn't one to complain about pain, even if he wasn't numbed up. He seemed to be in a cheerful mood, chattering animatedly as you walked. The fact he intentionally moved closer to you so that your shoulders occasionally brushed did not escape your notice. Neither of you said anything about it.

Luckily the Golden House wasn't very far from the harbor and the path was clear of any monsters, for which you were thankful. You were more than capable of handling most monsters on your own, but you were worried Childe would jump into combat and end up hurting himself more than he already had been. He was capable as a fighter but you thought him to be too reckless.

The visit to Bubu Pharmacy was entirely uneventful, it was confirmed that Childe had two broken ribs on his right side and he was given some medication for the pain. There wasn't much else to be done other than recommend regularly icing the area and no strenuous activities. That was expected, broken ribs were good at healing naturally, given rest. You wondered if it would even be possible for him to take it easy as a Harbinger, but it seemed the other Harbingers weren't as active as him so perhaps it was possible.

"I think I can just take it easy for two weeks and then go back to business as usual," Childe remarked as you began down the stairs. You looked at him with a frown, wondering if he was serious. This man had no regard for his long-term wellbeing.

"You need to rest for six weeks, at least. It's better for you to recover entirely before you get back to... whatever it is you do," you said with a stern tone. Sometimes it really did seem like Childe was a child. Haha.

"I'm a busy guy, I can't take that kind of time off," he argued, not seeming concerned by that in the slightest. It was true that broken ribs weren't the worst injury to work around, but it still wasn't wise to be so careless.

"Well, you're a valuable asset to Snezhnaya, surely you'd be allowed time off to recover. The Tsaritsa must be at least that understanding," you reasoned, now realizing you were walking along with him not sure where you were going. You didn't even know where he lived, it was clear he didn't spend his nights on the streets at least.

The Harbinger hummed thoughtfully, clearly scheming. You wondered what excuse he would come up with. Probably something about how he was 'very strong and can recover quickly'. You could almost scoff at the mere thought, it seemed entirely in character for him.

"Alright, I'll request time off to recover," he said, grinning cheekily, "if you help me while I recover."

You raised a questioning brow, that was something you hadn't predicted he was considering. Still, you cared enough for him to want him to fully recover, and helping him out wasn't beyond your abilities. Aside from one attempt to destroy Liyue, he had been pretty harmless.

"You'll rest for the whole six weeks?" you asked, still skeptical. You weren't sure it was possible for him to stay away from a fight for that long.

"Yep, I promise."

"Alright, deal."

Childe offered you his hand to shake, and you took it. Looking back on it, it was probably not the best idea to solidify your agreement in the land of contracts. Not when the terms hadn't been thoroughly discussed, at least.

"Great, you can stay at my apartment while I recover," he chirped, opening a door to what you assumed to be his apartment. You hadn't even realized you'd arrived in front of the building, too busy trying to convince Childe to take care of himself.

You opened your mouth to argue but quickly closed it when an ominous feeling washed over you. For some reason, it felt like it would be unwise to break your agreement. You silently cursed your past self, maybe you were the careless one.

Your displeasure must have been showing on your face because Childe laughed after seeing your expression. You clenched your jaw, but decided it would be better if you didn't say anything, he was certain to tease you if you rose to the bait.

"Second floor," he said as you walked down the hall, gesturing to a stairwell. He huffed once as you were going up the stairs, and you could only assume the numbness was beginning to fade. A wave of guilt washed over you at the thought. You broke his ribs and forced him to take off work for six weeks, so you were probably out of the running for friend of the year.

You could immediately tell which door led to Childe's apartment when you got to the second floor, there was a Fatui guard standing outside of it. He looked entirely out of place and you could imagine he was bored out of his mind just standing there. When he noticed your presence he eyed you suspiciously but said nothing, instead bowing his head to Childe.

The Harbinger completely ignored his subordinate, opening the door to his apartment and ushering you inside. Once the door was closed he ran a hand through his hair, letting out what sounded like a sigh of relief. It was probably nice to be home and finally able to relax after all that walking around with broken ribs.

"Your guard doesn't seem to like me," you remarked absently as you scanned his apartment. It was clean and surprisingly spacious, but a little bare. The floors were hardwood and there was a large carpet in the middle of the living room, with a sofa and some other furniture atop it. There were no houseplants to be seen.

"Yeah, I don't bring many people home," Childe laughed in response, plopping down on his couch which had no throw pillows or blankets. There was a wooden coffee table in front of it, but not much else around it.

"Oh, are you having relationship troubles?" you quipped in response, lips quirking up at the corners. He scoffed indignantly at your words.

"Have you seen this face? Of course not, I'm just waiting on the right person," he stated, lying sprawled across the couch. You shook your head at this, moving to the kitchen in hopes of finding some ice. Childe didn't say anything about you snooping around his kitchen, so you assumed there was nothing he felt he had to hide in there.

After gathering a dish towel and some ice, you came back with the make-shift icepack. He hadn't had a proper icepack in his freezer, which surprised you considering his line of work. Maybe later you would head back up to the pharmacy to get some.

"Ice your side for now. You should wash up and get changed soon," you told him after you handed him the icepack. While there had been no blood the fight was physically straining, so he probably needed to clean up. You realized after saying this that you had no change of clothes here, you'd need to go back to your place to get some things if he planned on having you stay here for six weeks.

"Okay, mom," he joked in response, you could only roll your eyes at this. He left the icepack laying on the right side of his chest, not bothering to hold it in place. You didn't bother to nag him about it, it was close enough.

"I'm going back to my place to get some stuff, I shouldn't be gone for long," you announced, turning to leave the apartment.

"Wait!" he shouted, sitting up suddenly, the icepack sliding down into his lap. "You owe me a kiss!"

You turned to look at him, a bit surprised by him shouting. You had forgotten about that entirely, but you did promise. So you walked over to the couch and leaned down to press your lips against his. You had intended for it to be a brief kiss, but his hand gently held your wrist and the other went up to brush against your jaw.

With a sigh you deepened the kiss, allowing yourself him to indulge for a little while. You were surprised by the slow pace he set, but certainly not displeased. He gently bit your bottom lip before pulling away, opening his eyes and giving you a smug look when he noticed your face had become a bit flushed.

"Get washed up and put clean clothes on while I'm gone," you said as you pulled away, trying to seem as unflustered as possible. It wasn't very effective, if his laughter as you fled the apartment was anything to go by.

Gathering everything you thought you would need from your apartment was entirely uneventful, you tried to pack everything you'd need for six weeks into a duffel bag but it was hopeless. You were bound to forget things and a duffel bag isn't much space, so you decided you could just come back whenever you needed something.

The Fatui guard stationed outside Childe's apartment was not shy about giving you a dirty look as you approached. It was safe to say the Harbinger probably didn't often have company. The guard seemed particularly suspicious of your bag, like that was the thing to worry about when it was commonplace to materialize weapons out of thin air.

"Stop," he ordered in a booming voice as you neared the door. You followed his order, halting outside the door. You proceeded to stare him dead in the eyes as you knocked three times on the door.

It swung open shortly after, Childe stepping out of the way to let you in. The way the guard clenched his jaw made you feel very smug.

"You don't have to knock, just come in," he said, and you were silently very thankful for those words. It was a little something extra to rub it in. Perhaps your loathing was a little misplaced, that man was likely not one who had attacked you in the past. But, he did still give you a dirty look and was none too polite, so there was something. Sometimes people are petty, and that's okay.

Once you were inside the apartment, you noticed Childe had showered and changed into a fresh set of clothes. The white t-shirt and grey sweatpants were rather different from his usual look, but it strangely suited him rather well. Maybe everything looks good on him because he's a pretty Fatui boy.

"How are you feeling?" you asked, shifting the weight of your bag as you followed him to the kitchen.

"Good, doesn't hurt much. What do you want for dinner?" he asked, opening the cupboards to survey their contents. How casual the atmosphere was made it feel awfully domestic.

"Um, I'm fine with whatever you make," you replied, banishing the thought from your mind. You weren't really sure about your feelings on the matter yet so you would push them all off to the side and sort through them some other time.

"Oh, right. There's a spare room down the hall across from the bedroom. You can put your stuff in there," he said, looking over at you standing in the doorway with your bag. You were already walking away when he added, "Or you're welcome to stay in my bedroom with me~"

"You wish."

“Wow, I was honestly expecting you to have a few questions,” she says breathlessly as she approaches him. She looks at the watch on her wrist, the time ticking down faster than she likes. Please let Shiro get here soon…

“I’ve learned asking questions doesn’t help,” he says simply, sitting up and throwing off his shirt. “Do I need to play dead too?”

“You know me too well,” she admits. Without another word she begins to spread the fake blood all across his body. It’s too late to get him out of here without being seen, and she just hopes this is enough to keep the attention off of him. The more he pretends to be dead, the easier Shiro can extract him. “No matter what happens, just go along with it.”

She looks him in the eye, desperately hoping the seriousness of the situation will get through to him. He meets her gaze and she can feel the weight seep towards him. Nodding, Lance gulps in acknowledgement. That’s about as much as she can hope for.

A growl makes her gasp sharply. She forces Lance to the ground, hoping he will do as she asks. Turning, she faces the beast.

As big as a horse, with two heads - one dog and one cat - and black as night, the nightmare creature looks completely out of place in the beautiful tropical paradise of Cuba.

“Katie Holt,” it hisses. “It is time to pay what is due.”

With a trembling hand, Pidge clasps the pendant she wears around her neck. Inside, the green glow is a representation of how her life hangs by a thread. The life that the creature’s master wants.

“I’ve already given her the payment for Matt’s life,” she says firmly. “There’s no need to take mine.”

She did as Haggar asked, discovered the location of Lotor. It was Haggar’s own fault that she wasn’t able to capture him. The creature can only see on the surface of living creatures, the reason why she must wear her life in a pendant, a requirement to deal with Haggar. Now she hopes the red on Lance will deter the creature from seeking his life as payment.

She couldn’t live with herself if she lost another loved one.

“For the information, your life is your own,” the creature says, padding several steps closer and closer to her as she stands between it and Lance. “You will take his place at her side until he is retrieved.”

Lotor has evaded Haggar for centuries. Pidge’s heart beats a million miles a minute, she doesn’t want to be a hostage for that long.

“Don’t you touch her!” Lance shouts from behind. Pidge’s eyes widen and reach for Lance to stop him.