Mostly Nonsense

from there it blossomed from a friendship filled with casually trading notes and meeting for study sessions over campus coffee.

to splurging on nicer dinners off campus and greedy kisses in your dorm rooms. 

it was safe to say both of your prior roommates were happy when the two of you decided to split a lease together off campus. from there on it, was going pretty great. the two of you melded well together under a shared roof. boundaries were well respected and your joint quirks complimented each other more than not. 

sure, tighnari could be sarcastic at times, but it was never ill directed at you. in fact it was always what you needed after a rough day. 

things were good. 

things were going great. 

and they would continue to do so, long as your boyfriend didn’t discover your little gardening project.

which for some couples, shouldn’t be too much of an issue. except that you were dating the akademiya’s lead student researcher on botanical studies. he was practically already guaranteed acceptance into the graduate program. instructors were quite literally crawling over themself to offer him assistantships. 

and you were totally proud of this feat. how could you not when he got to advance his knowledge in the subject he loved (even if he had very interesting opinions on the institution as a whole. he loved to talk about how once he squeezed them out of all their money, he would take his research and go live in the forest. at first you’d laughed at the joke … now you weren't so sure.)

but you digressed. you were happy for him. loved how he brought life into your quaint flat with his collection of plants. it made everything feel livelier, air fresh with a pleasant aroma. the problem was his obsession with flora made it practically impossible for you to hide your newest addition. 

people liked to say that opposite attracted. it made for a wholesome household were the differences could meld to create an amicable collaboration. and it worked well so far.in one case,  tighnari was a super good cook. you were okay, but his insistence on taking over the kitchen in order to utilise his home grown mushrooms wasn't something you were going to challenge him on. his food was delicious. 

see it worked out as long as things stayed opposite. 

which was why it was dangerous for you to be stepping into his territory by bringing a plant home. 

you were certain tighnari would be able to sniff it out out a foreign vegetation if you brought it into your abode. which was why you definitely could not add it to his mini garden on the balcony. unfortunately, that left your other options limited. 

the cabinet space under your side of the sink did not provide enough light. you considered leaving the door cracked but that would bring too much attention. the same went for the option of placing it under the bed. tighnari practically dreamed about plants, placing one precisely under his pillow would not end well. also not enough light. 

which led you to carefully climbing the staircase of the fire escape to your neighbours conveniently bare deck. sometimes you forgot they lived there with the infrequency that you saw them. you were certain that you’d never seen them using it anyway.

so positioned precariously in the corner, above your boyfriend’s botanical gallery, sat your lonely little plant. 

you had the perfect place tucked away safe and hidden. it was accessible and convenient given that you were known for sporadically taking short ‘breaks’ outside when you needed to come down from a long day. it was all well planned and fool proof. 

except for the little bugger wouldn’t grow. 

now you weren't a plant expert by any means. sure, your boyfriend was kind of a genius and you occasionally watched him tend to his garden. well more like observed his rear as he leaned into the vegetation, silently admiring the view behind your warm mug. 

but that was as close to plant life as you got. you knew they needed water and sunlight. two things that you provided pretty well. maybe the sunlight wasn't the best. sometimes tighnari would rearrange his garden to rotate them and even the sun exposure. it was also possible that you may have drowned your plant once or twice. you were forgetful about doing so and you figured making up for forgetting watering could be made up all at once. 

overall you thought you were doing okay of a job. planting shouldn't be that hard. it's not like it was anything exotic.

so what did you do next?

not ask your expert of a partner. 

that’s what.

no, instead you sneakily leafed through his various textbooks to try to grasp a brief understanding of how the hell plants worked. if you’d known it was so complicated you wouldn't have bothered. there was only supposed to be one needy individual in your household and that position was taken. 

you were made even more of an idiot that you thought you were trying to decipher the material in tighnari’s books, of all choices. there was definitely a lot more than water and sunlight involved. your finger followed the surprisingly colourful diagram of a plant life cycle with way too many words and arrows but you understood the words like ‘oxygen’ and ‘carbon dioxide’. 

apparently they gave off the former and humans,and animals alike, provided the latter. 

so naturally for the sake of all the effort you’d put in thus far, you spent the next plant visitation ,while tighnari was busy making dinner, providing your plant with all the extra carbon dioxide it wanted; until you were light-headed and blinking blearily at your boyfriend’s concerned frown as you stumbled back in. 

for all that exertion, you were very disappointed to not see a single change the next day. 

not even a sprout. 

part of you was convinced that you got a dud. there was always a risk of purchasing from college students. everyone was frugal with their money and trying to make it work. but this was supposed to be a friend, of a friend’s friend other friend’s acquaintance. and they came with pretty high regards, which brought all the blame back on you. 

unfortunately, you did not have their phone number, making it very difficult to track them back down through the intricate vine of friendships. to be frank, after a fortnight of trying to grow the damn thing. you were ready to just throw it off the balcony all together. 

which would have been your most successful plan since purchasing the seed, had you not returned home to your very attractively, smart and loving boyfriend holding the said plant with a frown. 

tighnari gestured to the sad excuse for of a pile of soil sitting on the counter. “our neighbour upstairs brought it down.”

goddamit amir.

tighari’s hand slid to his lips as he looked over the pot with scrutiny. your heart thrummed anxiously as he tested the soil with his finger before commenting on the dryness ( so what? you missed another few days of watering .. it was on its deathbed anyway).

“it’s certainly not mine though. it doesn't look like its been properly cared for by anyone.”

and there goes a shard of your heart. so you weren't the best plant parent. it wasn't easy to compete with the plant messiah himself. he could have maybe been nicer about your faults. 

your body stiffened as his gaze flickered over curiously to you, perfect little mouth that you loved to smother with kisses, curled lightly at the corners. “you know, you are dating a botany student. you could have just asked.”

you were unable to withhold the guilty squeak at how quickly he saw through you. tighnari’s face was soft with humour while you were swimming with anxiety. because you simply could not just ask. there was no way to ask him something like this. 

what were you suppose to say?

‘hi, tigh. are you busy? i purchased a weed plant from a sketchy dealer but i'm having trouble growing it.”

because that would have rolled over well.

it wasn’t that he didn't know you occasionally partook. you both dealt with stressors differently. he had his plants and you … technically had them too. he just nurtured them while you burned yours. it wasn’t as if you were going through multiple blunts a day or anything. but it didn't make it any less expensive. you thought it was smart of you thinking of just growing your own stash. 

you’d never have to buy from anyone again. 

except you were learning that there was a reason why not everyone did so. 

gardening was hard. 

the gentle touch of thumbs brushing away wet rails brought your head up sharply. god and now you were crying pathetically over it. all under the very sweet coos of your boyfriend as he held you close. 

“you should have just come to me, sprout. you know i’d help.” his lips warm the crown of your head while his hands rub against your biceps with comforting friction. “sure, i might have laughed a little.” he snorts. “well a lot, you did a really bad job, baby.”

you can't help but let out a weak, fractured laugh of your own. you’d since owned up to being a bad plant parent. it's impossible not to melt at the quick press kiss against the tip of your nose and then your lips. 

he looks pleased with his successful efforts. “you kind of had the right idea. just a little too much sunlight. i doubt you had it on a proper watering schedule either.”

you can’t help but frown at the light scolding, hands coming to your hips,” how do you already know what it needs? you don't even know what kind of plant it is.” your hindbrain screams at you for challenging him on a matter you didn't want to answer. 

not that it mattered, tighnari gave you a less than impressed look that didn't leave anything up for discussion. you agreeably shut up and left that matter alone. 

satisfied with your compliance, tighari grabbed the plant and walked towards the balcony. you trotted behind, unsure of how what was supposed to end up in the trash was now being nestled safely amongst your boyfriend’s other plants. 

you had to admit it was kind of cute. not his ass this time, though that was always nice. you always thought your plant was kind of lonely on its own. but that's the life it had to live to survive. even though it didn’t really. at least it had siblings now, you guess. 

tighari positions it carefully under the flat wider leaves of the bigger plants, giving it shade and occasional sunlight when the time was right. you continued to watch as he thumbed through some of his other supplies, sprinkling something you wouldnt understand if you tried to ask before wetting the soil. you might have had a brief heart attack when he stuck his finger in, probably trying to test the growth stage. even though you still had not disclosed what it was, part of you still feared he could tell from touch alone. 

tighnari pressed against his knees as he came to a stand. he muttered a quiet thank you when you handed him one of the nearby hand towels to clean off his hands. 

it couldn’t be just that easy right?

hesitantly, you probed, “ is that it?”

your boyfriend then turned to you with a smile the spoke volumes of the lecture you were about to go through,” absolutely not. are you free now? we need to go to the store.”

|* * *|

you can't recall a time that you ever accompanied tighnari to his favourite nursery. he never really asked, and it wasn’t something you’d be partially helpful with. it was much easier to welcome him home and comment on all the pretty plants he towed in. the way his cheeks would flush at the attention made for a very reasonable arrangement. 

but right now, you thought it wasn’t as bad as you imagined. this wasn’t anything like the sad excuse of arrangements you witnessed while shopping at the local supermarket. these plants actually looked like they had a home while waiting for their next. 

tighnari was obviously a regular as he stopped by anyone free for a conversation. you had been amicable for a bit, smiling sweetly as you stood at his side. then you got a little bored. the discussion was going above your head now as they delved into his research. for a few minutes you amused yourself with playing with tighnari’s listless fingers before you ultimately gave them a parting squeeze and stepping back. 

the dialogue paused briefly as tighnari’s gaze darted to you. but you waved him off. there was plenty to still explore and you were an adult. tighnari tolerated your shopping trips so you could hang with his. 

you were impressed with the amount of diversity available. you are no means a plant aficionado, but fortunately the shop owners were gracious enough to label the different flora for those who were interested in more than the pretty colours. 

the shelves were marked and separated by region, ranging from snezhnaya to mondstat. you came to a stop in front of a particular flower from liuye that drew you in by its fresh scent. the translucent white petals almost looked ethereal, certainly too delicate to do anything but observe. 

“ah the qingxin flower. you have good tastes. the rarity makes it very coveted in liyue. in the wild it is only found on the highest mountain tops.”

you briefly sraerled at the sound of a new voice and found an older lady bending down to look as well. from her apron, you assumed she was either staff or likely an owner. 

you scanned down the namecard, eyes rovering over the information given before settling on the price. gaze widening, you subtly coughed as you stepped back with a tight smile. for that price, you figured one only climbed the mountain once a year. 

the shopkeeper laughed heartily as if reading your thoughts,” it’s certainly a special one. perhaps you’d consider it for a significant other?”

she was answered by a rumbling chuckle that you recognized as tighari filled the space at your back. “that might be a little advanced for you, sprout.” you sagged into him as his hand sought out your, fingers interesting with a light embrace.

“i actually just came for some dense compost soil. we have a bit of a rehab project going on.”

tighari kept his gaze on the woman despite feeling your gaze. the shopkeeper smiled at you both with a knowing look. she waved towards the back,”i know just the thing, tighnari.”

tighnari, you learned as the women rang up the purchases, had briefly volunteered in his free time in the past. his class schedule didn’t give him the opportunity to pick up an actual working shift, but he busied himself well enough here. he may not have been an employee but he’d been gifted with a generous discount for his time and contributions. 

despite only asking for soil, tighari continued to lead you around the nursery while toting the bag under his arm. he brought you to a wall of seeds, pointing out the differences in complexity. you surprised yourself by your genuine interest. you’d never really got involved with his hobby, but his excitement today was a bit contagious and you found yourself picking a couple new projects. 

before you could round back to the counter, you stopped tighnari with a tug of your joined limps to point at a cactus. movies made you very familiar with this plant. surely something that survived in the desert couldn't be too hard to keep alive. they drank water like every blue moon. 

except tighnari tells you it’s really not, but doesnt go over the details. instead, he hands you a sweetflower and presses an equally sweet kiss to your forehead. you found the action too cute to grumble. 

upon returning home, he stores away the seeds for later and explains the right amount of sun exposure and watering needed for the sweet flower. he surprises you by bringing it to sit in the bedroom window. you made a note to set an alarm later to mimic the maintenance schedule he detailed before. 

then came the problem child. 

you managed to keep your jitters to a minimum as he placed the pot on the quaint table he had set up on the balcony to keep his messier projects from tracking in the house. he, of course, misinterpreted your anxious pacing for excitement as he encouraged you closer. 

it was kind of … endearing watching him talk about his craft. despite having knowledge leaps and beyond, he was considerate when explaining how he mixed the soil to add nutrients without disturbing the roots. it made sense in theory, but you’d have to wait for the results. 

you decided as he carefully placed the pot back in his new home, that you were eager to witness the progress. as you pressed your lips to his in gratitude, you even forgot why you were keeping it from him in the first place. 

|* * *|

you learned regretfully that nothing worthwhile would happen overnight. tighnari had been very amused the next morning over breakfast at your crestfallen face after returning from the balcony. he did his best to withhold his humour while explaining the healing process. but not well enough as you ended up throwing your toast at him anyway. 

he does well enough to distract you with his other plants. you knew that some of your foods and spices came from his garden, but you’d never actually watched him harvest. you were pleasantly surprised to find your favourite budding in preparation for the next season. you decided this time you would pluck them. 

the first time you notice a change in your sad excuse of botany experiment, you’re beyond ecstatic. you’d grown use to the disappointment. barely phased now in the mornings when you’d venture out briefly to check. 

this time however, you nearly dropped your (well tighnari’s )mug in shock as you recognized the small but definitely budding sprout. tighari had explained that when you first noticed activity above the soil, this was known as the seedling stage. it was important to provide it with plenty of nutrients to absorb to boost its growth. 

all that mattered to you was that it was growing. 

the mug clattered noisily on the table as you deposited in your rush to the bedroom. weekends typically meant tighnari would sleep in if he didn't have any pending engagements. today was such an occasion. unfortunately, not for long as your knees came down in the space around him. 

the bed jerked with your abrupt weight, but the other occupant hardly shifted beyond a tired grumble. the bare width of his shoulder rose evenly with each breath, completely unbothered by your presence. 

well that wouldn't do. 

“tigh! tigh! tigh!”

each exclaim of his name was followed up with insistent presses of your palm against his back. your palms squeezed and prodded at the warm skin, hoping to rouse your boyfriend so he could share your glee. 

tighnari didn’t make the task easy, resisitviely holding on to his dreams as long as he could until he physically couldn't under the jostling. when he turned his head, you were met with a slightly bloodshot but nonetheless beautiful depth of his olive-brown eyes. “have i every told you how annoyingly beautiful you are in the mornings?”

you glared at him balefully, but the expression did not last long under the bubble of your elation. you managed to settle some, coming down to lay comfortably on top of him. your body shifts against him in a way that he would find more appreciative in a form of apology. 

tighari does grumble, though it comes out as a low growl as he rolls under you. his arm slips around your waist to pull you closer. for a moment you relax into the comfortable hold. you’re just beginning to nuzzle into his neck when you remember why you were waking him up in the first place. 

your boyfriend mumbles in protest when you lift your head away from where his fingers are stoking your hair, no doubt an attempt to coax you back to sleep.

“the plant is seeding.”

tucking your chin against his chest, you're awarded with the sight of his brow pinching as your words register. he opens one eye slowly, than the other as he finally processes your excitement. there was no doubt he could feel the delighted thrum under your skin. you were barely resisting squirming. a slow slime spreads across his lips as he notices that too. 

“good, we can move on to the next stage.”

a plethora of instructions proliferates your mind, leaving you to feed through the excess information to organise the stages. were you suppose to change the soil again for fresh nutrients or was this were those little packets came in?

it wasn’t due for watering until tomorrow. 

when you look back up, tighnari watching you with exhausted mirth. awaiting his guidance, you were taken by surprise as he rolled again, this time tucking you under him as he settled back into his pillow.

he conveniently ignored your confused frown as his arms tightened. 

“now it’s important for the plant to get a lot of rest in these early stages. so we shouldn’t disturb it for a few hours.”

you huff, exasperated and stuck as his breath evens out to light snores above you. 

|* * *|

tighnari eventually does get up to inspect the plant, though he explains that there really isn't much to do in this stage. all the nutrients it needs are in the soil, its growth is proof that it’s strong enough to use them. 

that still doesn’t keep you from closely inspecting its progress. you are so intune that even the slightest centimetre of growth does not escape you. you're diligent about the watering schedule, never missing a morning to shower it with love. 

the sweet flower, in full bloom now, gets an equal amount of attention. overall, you’re satisfied to admit that you’re becoming a rather decent plant parent. 

tighanri seems to think so too, never missing the opportunity to comment on your diligence. 

“if you keep up this kind of interest, we're going to have a mini forest in our home, sprout.”

you find that you don't mind that. it had been a nice few weeks sharing this time with him. you’d become a little more attentive to all the plants really, learning their names and the seasons they favoured. 

he’s pleasantly surprised when you ask if he can help you plant another. he’s busy chopping up freshly plucked mushrooms and the low simmer on the stove smells delish. 

when he asks which ones you have in mind, you happily skip into the bedroom to retrieve one of his books he’d bought you on the last trip to the nursery. high spirited and full of ideas, you sit across from him while he prepares the food, rattling off your new favourites and which ones you want to try first. 

tighari naturally agrees with them all, confident in your growing green thumb.

so you found yourself accompanying him on his biweekly runs to the nursery, much to the delight of the shopkeeper that you learned was named umm. she happily listened to you rattle off about the growth of your plant, equipped with pictures to show the gradual stages. 

conveniently, you ignore tighnari’s amused snickering, resisting the urge to flick his sensitive ears in retaliation. 

 |* * *|

your plant is at its vegatative stage and starting to look much greener. so you decide to celebrate its growth and independence by going out on the town. without reason to decline, tighnari accompanies you to join your friends at the local bar. 

tighari nurses a beer at the bar with cyno, a student from the political science department while you relax contently with the rest of the rambunctious group of friends. more than enough drinks all around, you have them absolutely captivated with your rendition of the ‘little plant that could’. dehya even offers to buy another round as a celebration, rousing more excitement from the table. 

you relax into a comfortable buzz, head heavy as you slouch into the slightly sticky leather seats. you barely pick up the voice directed at you as you squint, head rolling over to flick up at the silver haired man. 

alhaitham chuckles at your dopey grin, certain that you would be collected soon enough. he knocks back the rest of his drink as he peers down at you with interest. “i’m a little surprised tighnari would allow you to grow drugs in his home. though i suppose i really shouldn’t, he’s always been a bit of a rebel.”

your brow pinches as you process his words, eyes widening comically as they click. in a rush that startles alhaitham, you press your vodka flavoured fingers against his lips. the normally robust male is determinedly patient with your drunken actions, as he carefully plucks your hands away, head already turned to call for your boyfriend. but you interrupt him first. 

“shhhhh,” you slur. “not so loud. he doesn’t know its drugs,” you try to communicate quietly. which is not very much so at all but everyone else is pretty occupied. alhaitham raises a grow, obviously in disbelief but you're in no state to even begin to reason with the incredulity of that statement. fortunately, tighnari is already responding to your obviously drunk gestures and alhaitman slides out of the booth to grant him access. 

he smirks as you hang heavily against tighari’s shoulder as the man considers just carrying you out. “congrats on your project, they’re proud.”

tighnari spares the man a roll of his eyes, busy enough with carting you out the door as you wave messily to your friends. 

he manages to get both you and your stomach home in one piece. you’d only briefly scared him with a bout of nausea on the way but overcame the sickness. but it's enough for him to resolve to make you a quick cup of ginger tea. 

he had tried to lay you down in the bedroom but you insisted on staying near him, stuck in your clingy stage as you wrinkled the edge of his shirt with your first. he paid no mind as he manoeuvred around you and the kitchen before presenting a warm cup for you. he was smart enough to not offer it until it cooled some. 

still you gave a precursitoy sniff before deeming it reasonable for your tongue. tighnari has no choice but to huddle close to you as you keep a tight hold of him. he rests his elbow against the counter, satisfied with your consumption progress as his other hand strokes the hair from your face. 

your new obsession with plants had done a decent job of distracting you from the strain of the semester. the only breaks he’d witnessed you take outside were to check up on the flora. so nights like this were understandable. not that he minded caring for you either way. 

it was just nicer when your nausea was under control. 

the sound of your voice startles him from his thoughts. when he lowers his chin, he finds you staring at him with beady eyes. he can't resist a grin, leaning down for an interestingly flavoured kiss. 

“ready for bed, sprout?”

as expected you shake your head, but don't protest as he takes the cup to wash anyway. ready to bring the night to a close, he corrals you to the bathroom where he leaves you to stumble through your night routine while he gathers one of his shirts. 

you happily accept the night clothing as you crawl into bed. tighnari strips while you get comfortable before sliding in behind you. 

he goes to kiss you one last time before you stop him with the movement of your lips. 

your voice is a little hoarse, no doubt from the sugar coating your throat as the alcohol drains away. your breath fans against his cheek as you speak.

“i feel like i raised a kid these last few weeks.”

tighnari knows you mean the plant but he can't help but tremble at the analogy. it's all he can do to keep his laughter in check. he’d been rather patient with his excitement, not wanting to scare you away from his passion. but inside he was brimming from the enjoyment of spending this kind of time with you. botany was his life and he was happy to share that part with you. 

you continue to ramble on, impervious to his thoughts. “we basically have a kid together, tigh. i think we did good.”

tighnari can easily deny the warmth that stain his cheeks in the dark as he shepherd your head under his chin. the more you maundered, the closer you were to drifting off. 

but not before you uttered the last few words against his skin.

“you’d be a great dad, tighnari.”

unbeknownst to you that night, he falls a little more in love with you. 

 |* * *|

mid terms roll eventually rolled around. for the most part, the two of you stay at home this year rather than resume your usual study dates at the local cafe. part of the reason is your determination not to stray too far from your ‘kids’ in your time of need. 

tighnari surprised you one day by referring to them as such. you tried to think nothing of it but his light snickering called up some suspicion. ultimately, the two of you survived on brief breaks to check on the little growing family populating the balcony and boxes of takeout. 

it was nearing the final few days of examinations. you had finished up your last this morning and were comfortable lounging on the couch with tighnari to help him roll through his study notes one more time. you were both confident in his ability to absolutely steamroll the test, but he’d been there for your revising, so you offered to do the same. 

you were comfortably kneeling on the couch, feet tucking snuggly under the warmth of your weught as you balanced the text against the spine of the couch. tighnari was relaxed against the opposite end, head rolled back against the arm.

he was taking an elective course in medicinal botany, something he expressed he might want to explore as a graduate student. 

“what are the medicinal uses for yarrow?”

he didn't miss a beat. 

“it’s used for fever, relieving common cold, loss of appetite and has the ability to help with toothaches.”

satisfied you turned to the next. 

“peppermint?”

“pains: headaches, muscle aches and joint pains.”

tighari felt the couch shift as you moved closer, happily accepting your rewarding kiss before you moved back. 

satisfied with the happily tilt of his lips, your gaze roves over to the next question prompt before you tense. tighnari makes a confused noise when you take too long, 

swallowing past the lump in your throat, you croak out, “what are the benefits of medicinal marijuana?”

tighanri is quiet for a moment and you try not to think about it. 

“it can help reduce anxiety. there are cases of it stimulating appetite to assist chemo patients. there is also research into its ability to slow tumour growth.”

you don't even fact check him as you snap the book closed, he was likely right anyway. the two od you had been at it for over an hour and it was time for a break.

 leaving the text in your seat, you ignore tighnari’s curious gaze as you slip outside. realisation slowly dawns on you as you stare down at the pretty obviously growing plant. the small pot stunted its growth a bit, but it was starting to form those distinctive leaf formations. for the most part tighnari left it in your care as you’d learned the rotation arrangements by now. you were sure how much of its progress he actually followed past your reports but it was safe to say it was time for the plant to move to its own space. 

you were just beginning to pick up the plant when tighnari fills the space behind you.

“what’s wrong?”

his voice startles you, but you managed to keep the pot from slipping through your fingers. his voice is curious but not necessarily inquisitive. 

you keep the plant close to your chest, trying and failing not to appear too suspicious. 

“i was just going to move it. the leaves are looking a little droopy.”

tighnari thankfully doesn't try to look for himself but you can practically hear him doing the maths in his head. “no, it should be fine. just leave it for now.”

and what else could you do but obediently place it back? it certainly evaded more questions than outright chucking it over the railing. you had other children, what was one loss?

but before you could contemplate the backlash, tighnari was urging you up.

“come on, let's figure out what to eat for dinner. i think i can tolerate one more night of takeout.”

you let him lead you back inside, very pointedly not looking back.

 |* * *|

you would never admit it. 

but you were definitely trying to murder your child. 

it was a slow, calculated hit that somehow kept getting thwarted despite your best efforts. 

it began with ‘conveniently’ missing water days. it was well thought out because you’d been diligent about hitting all the other plants so that tighnari would have a harder time noticing the one that got a little less attention. 

you managed to facilitate the plan for about a week before tighnari called from the balcony one afternoon. 

“hey, your baby was looking a little dry, sprout so i sprinkled some water. must have just been a hot afternoon.”

you were sure that the plant and you were crying with completely different emotions. 

trial two was more torture for you than the plant. the idea came to you when you were walking home one day and you spotted the little gremlin. personally, you were above bugs. you didn't outright plan their execution on sight, but as long as they minded their business you minded yours. 

but desperate times called for desperate measures as you carefully cupped the fat caterpillar going to town on the lawn and brought it home. 

you discreetly moved the potted fiend to a safe spot away from the others so the capilar wouldn't get too greedy. there were certainly enough leaves available in that one pot alone. you had a distant thought about it possibly being affected by the plants other properties but the clink of the front door silenced them quick enough. 

tighnari startled when you greeted him at the door, barely keeping up with your kiss before you dragged him eagerly through the house. if he was surprised by your onset of libedo, he certainly did not question it, happily letting you drag him into the bedroom.

you managed to convince him to eat in bed as well, sated and pliant from a few rounds as you returned with leftovers. he only left the room to disappear into the bathroom, something you didn't think much of until the time started to not add up. 

just when you were getting concerned, he returned, sighing pleasantly as he relaxed back into the sheets. you welcomed him eagerly, throwing an arm around his waist as you settled for the night. 

“i found the strangest thing.”

you made a small mutter of protest as you roused back to awareness. tighnari took it as a sound of inquiry. 

“since when did we start getting bugs?”

you have got to be kidding. 

 |* * *|

you come to the conclusion that you cannot in sound mind, send your child hurtling off the third story balcony. you can, however, drown it with a bottle of milk. not a single lick of research was done on the matter. you aren't even sure if it would work, but you were at your wits end. 

what had started off as a challenge, grew into a bonding moment but now it was time to let go. to be honest, you couldn't even remember the last time you had gotten the urge to smoke. maybe you really were #plantlife now. 

either way, it did its job. and it was time to say goodbye. 

“what are you doing, sprout?”

the hiss you let out is just exhausted at this point. why do you even try? there is really no point to even beginning to excuse the sight. it was just a student, their plant and a gallon of milk. what else was there to say?

tighnari’s shadow leans over the counter but you don't bother looking up. either way he’s unperturbed by the perplexing scene. 

“cannabis sativa doesn’t require calcium for growth.”

rolling your eyes, you’re willing to just tell yourself at this point. 

“i know that, tigh. i just—” his words catch up to you and your gaze snaps up to his. there is an easy smirk on his face and mirth in his eyes. 

“what did you call it?”

he shrugs,” cannabis sativa. i thought you’d at least know the proper name.”

he knows. 

of course he knows. 

you’re such an idiot. 

your head falls insto the counter space between the two banes of your existence, not even flinching at the satisfying thud of your forehead. tighnari is patient, letting you process it all as his fingers drum against the countertop. 

eventually you speak, “how long did you know?”

“since i brought it inside.”

your head darts up,“bullshit!”

he outright laughs in your face,”sprout, you’re cute and i’m not stupid. what else would you try to grow and hide on our neighbour's fire escape?”

well when he put it that way. still he didn’t have to play along for so long. sure, you’d been lost in the process for a few weeks, but once the recognition settled in it became the most stress you’d dealt with in a while. it was both unfair and deserving. 

tighari’s hands reached forward to cup your cheeks as he had pity on you. 

“it was kind of hilarious. you couldn’t even grow a weed.”

or not. 

you try to pull back but he coos until you settle, delivering a collection of butterfly kisses against your face. he stops when you mumble. 

“you’re not mad?

his silence is contemplative. eventually you can't resist searching his gaze, fearful of what you might find. 

tighnari relents before your anxiety rises to high,” do you plan to start a farm out of our flat?”

it's your turn to roll your eyes,”tigh, i barely managed to grow that.” as if that was enough of a response. 

his laugher deems that it is. he steals another kiss just because he can. “then no i'm not mad. it was kind of fun doing this with you.” his face is light and open. “i kind of forgot that it was weed for a bit too.”

you agree thinking about how much you’d come to appreciate the plant in its final momenst. 

 |* * *|

a few weeks pass and your plant is in full bloom. truly becoming the tale of the little plant that could. it's well past prime harvesting time but you can't bring yourself to cut away the leaves you meticulously spent time raising. 

it was your baby and you would see it through its lifecycle. 

you file through the flat, setting down your belongings in pursuit of the balcony. it was time to rotate the plants now that the highest point of the sun had passed. your baby would get some much needed sunlight for a few days before returning to the shade. 

you crouched down prepared to start the process when you found its spot vacated. and not just from there but the whole balcony. a brief panic swelled in your chest as you tentatively peered over the railing. it was unlikely that it had fallen over but where else could it have been?

your baby had just hit maturity and you lost it.

rushing back into the house, you combed through your belongings in search of your phone. tighnari should be coming home any minute, but you couldn't wait patiently enough for that. you needed to find you kid now.

however, just as your thumb hovered over the contact, the bathroom door cracked open. tighnari walked through, hands preoccupied with something. “hey, i thought i heard you.”

he’s rather determinedly … rolling something between his fingers. the clarity hits you all at once. 

tighari glides a thumb over his tongue before he wets the paper one last time to seal,” i thought i was going to have to go to the store. why do you keep the paper in the bathroom?”

he appears unperturbed by your frozen state, pressing a quick kiss to your lips as he heads to the kitchen.

eventually your brain and lips meet on the same mental synapse,” you know how to roll weed.” it's not even a question. it's so obviously a fact since he just did so. 

he still rewards you with that look; the one that silently questioned the sanity and intelligence of those around him. from your position, if you lean just far enough to the right you can see your child sitting quietly on the bathroom counter. without a thought you go snatch it up and hold it close. 

tighnari had only taken a few trimmings but it was a sad echo of what it was. frowning you played with the remaining leaves,” i wasn’t going to cut it.”

your boyfriend barely listens as he digs through the drawers, likely in search of a lighter. the blunt is settled precariously between his lips as he speaks,” then why did you grow it?

well you basically forgot, kind of remembered and then got insanely attached to it. now, you didn’t want to watch it burn. it was kind of symbolic to you at this point. it was no longer a substance that you sometimes partook in. it was a token of your gesture to explore other methods of anxiety management, even though you didn’t realise it at the time. a lesson of patience and understanding. you didn’t need it anymore. happy with just the reminder. and the faint memory of the wafty smell of—

you come back to the sight of tighnari lighting the end of the joint, brow raised in shallow acknowledgement of your brief bout of contemplation, as if to ask ‘are you done yet?’

“tighnari!”

your boyfriend has plenty of time to take the first drag as you scramble around the counter, plant forgotten as you try to snatch the ashes of your baby from his lips. he humours you with a laugh, dodging the attempts at first before his hand darts out to snatch your chin. he holds it steady as he takes another drag and brings his lips to yours emptying the smokey billows into your mouth.

and you have to admit, it's a pretty good strand. dori didn’t disappoint. 

tighari pats your bottom as you mellow out, watching while you reflectively soaking in the essence. when he was satisfied he left you go, trading his grip for your hand. you dazedly let him lead you to the couch, swallowing a protest as he pulls you down with him. he hands you the blunt and you take another practiced drag, slow and careful as you savored the taste.

you’re still kind of sad as you pass it back. 

tighnari can't help but find hilarity in your state. “for a sad sprout, you’re enjoying it.”

he laughs out loud when you hit his chest in protest, not finding the murder of your child very funny when its not you. 

“what? i thought you’d be excited to enjoy the fruits of your labour.”

“that’s our kid and you burned it!”

tighnari sucked in another slow inhale as he stares at you. 

“we have more kids.”

rolling your eyes, you accept defeat and sag into the cushions. despite your best efforts, he’d obviously won this round. now you were second in command to his flower kingdom. which wasn’t nearly as bad as it sounded. “i don't mean your kids.”

you liked them and all, but it wasn't the same. they’d never share the same fate as their sibling .they’d live out their lives watching the ‘little plant that could’ get plucked for every inch of it’s life. 

tighnari leans down like he’s going to kiss you again and you instinctively part your lips expecting the puff of smoke, “no, i mean i planted more. i got the seeds from dori for a good deal.”

he leans back, head falling against the spine of the couch as you stared at him starstruck.

what the hell.

“tigh, you rebellious little dealer.”

tighnari points at you, joint parched between his ring and middle finger as the embers fall carelessly. “still not selling,” he sings.

which is a shame. anything he would grow would be worth more than ten times then whatever was on the market. 

“i guess we’ll have our house full.”

he nods, sagging into the couch as he hands you the blunt. 

“think after this batch we’ll be ready for real kids?”

you believed that honour should be given where it was due, and tighnari certainly earned a bulk of it in sumeru. he was as tenacious in his research as he was in his determination to cull the withering.  

it was admirable. unquestionably gave his subordinates something to look up to. it helped that he made an easy guy to work for. tighnari was an abundance of knowledge, never failing to deliver relevant facts about any form of botany in sight. 

during your initial interview he completely sidetracked himself from testing your competency in favour of dumping the equivalent of a knowledge capsule on the entire forest on you. and during the whole time all you could think was how cute.

those fluffy, distractingly soft ears he had that twitched with every emotion. you noticed that sometimes they swayed unprompted, as if they had a mind of their own. the man himself seemed oblivious to your obsession, or just so immune to the attention at this point that it hardly phased him. 

it was a shame really. 

because by the time he realised you were out of your seat, he had a split second to snatch your offending hand before your fingers to reach the fur. the utterly adorable culprits seemed to tease your failure, flickering invitingly just out of reach of your wiggling fingers. 

at least you had enough integrity to smile in the face of defeat as your future boss leered at you unimpressed. 

he spent the remainder of your now orientation laminating over the very extensive punishment policy to be expected of any broken infractions. 

|2|

it was safe to say the threat of punishment didn’t weigh too heavily on your consciousness. what you did learn, was everything more the life of a ranger had to offer. it wasn’t as though you belittled it to a simple forest guide. you were well aware of how each and every one of your colleagues put their life on the line to protect the gifts from the first of the dendro goddess. 

but you never expected your contribution to feel so satisfying. 

every day your body got stronger, gaining the resilience and stamina to endure long treks through the forest. you became more in tune with your vision, able to protect not only yourself but others from harm. unexpectedly, tighnari’s long winded tangents began sounding more appealing as you absorbed the information rather than repel it. 

with each passing day you grew into the role of a proper forest ranger.

though there was one thing you hadn’t grown out of. 

“you two will be assigned with me. we’ll patrol the southeast canopy.”

tighnari was always so serious when delegating assignments. archon’s bless him. given it was a momentous occasion as it was imperative to understand everyone’s role so that their was a fair opportunity to return home safe and sound. 

it was just he way his ears followed each command. the adorable quiver not at all equivalent to his resolute voice. even after over a year under his command, it was still so distracting. to be fair, you’d learned to control your urges. after the second attempt and a week of making sure the long row of lamps remained glowing, you had at least accepted the pressing issue of testing his patience. 

your respect didn’t go unrewarded either. over time, you learned that under those cute ears was a very interesting man. you always knew he valued his time in the forest and that the publications were not just for show like some of the akademiya graduates. but to witness his unfiltered passion for the forest was … kind of refreshing. 

it made for genuine conversations that allowed you to feed off one another. while you’d never quite match his never ending knowledge for botany, you accompanied it well with your growing love for fauna. 

in short, tighnari had become an unexpected friend. 

with very endearing ears that you still felt the urge to touch after many, many months of barely held restraint. 

it was admirable. 

worth the gained friendship. 

and yet.

collei’s shoulder knocked comfortably into yours as she hopped with glee. her joy made her unaware to the sharp gazes watching her exuberant movements for any signs of fatigue. being around collei had eventually led you to believe that something was different about her.

as a fellow trainee for a time, the two of you had grown close enough for her to feel secure in delving into more of her past. her illness wasn’t necessarily rare but it wasn’t often you met many affected with as much optimism as she had. 

there was no doubt she had bouts of pain. sometimes you would cover her patrols to give her extra days of rest. tighnari was the most observant, always knowing when she needed a break. still the girl was a refreshing take on life in these darkening days. 

it helped that you both shared a fixation with a certain pair of furry ears.

whereas she was more timid in her appreciation, you had yet to shed your bold approach. 

well, maybe you got a little smarter. 

“but i already know about the sweetwater mushrooms,” collei whispered back, confusion staining her voice. there were times like this that her charmingness rivalled tighnari. 

you resisted the urge to pat the crown of her head. 

you all knew about the infamous fungi. upon its discover, tighnari had spent nearly a month after submitting his entry into the new rainforest guide speaking all about its elements; to anyone or anything regardless how responsive. 

if it was a botanical topic the fox found it hard to resist engaging. 

leaning closer, you kept a close eye on the leading man.” i know you do but tighnari always has something more to say. i just need you to ask him about it.” you refrained from using the word distract. 

collei’s ability to lie wasn’t a favourable skill. more often than not she caved in on herself before being able to spin a convincing tail. you’d learned fairly quickly the first time you convinced her to test a new route. the two of you hadn’t found any trouble but the slight delay in return roused a few questions. and of course tighnari had been the investigator. she never had a winning chance. 

“i still don’t get why i have to ask.”

“because i need an opening to try to touch his ears.”

the sharp gasp she left out was enough to shatter the gossip bubble as tighnari turned with a suspicious frown. his gaze fell heavily on you as the culprit. 

“what are you two muttering about?”

laughing sheepishly, your hip checked subtly against the younger girl’s as you took the lead. “just about the dusk birds. their mating season is approaching.”

tighnari raised a brow, but didn’t question further. one of the ways you’d managed to bond with collei had been over the observation of the bird hatchlings. they were one of the safer offsprings you were allowed to track in your earlier days, making you very familiar with their nesting grounds. it was one of the few areas he allowed you both to wander together without supervision. 

“uh huh, well unfortunately i doubt we’ll get many sightings this low. please try to stay vilgint for any threats.”

tighnari rolled his eyes at your comical salute but was unable to hide his small grin. it only fed into your wider one. 

good. he was in an amicable mood today. you’d both need it. 

collei managed to remain cool headed despite your hanging plan as the three of you ventured through the more worn paths. travellers and students alike tended to frequent these parts, fending off most wildlife who didn’t want to be bothered. it was mostly flora that flourished, taking up any available space. 

the perfect conversation starter. 

the green haired trainee squeaked when you cleared your throat and nudged her softly. the noise caused a flicker to tighnari’s ear but he otherwise left the two of you to your devices as he examined the population of fungi. 

your gaze darted to the seemingly preoccupied man and back, to which collei gulped but carefully approached. “um, master tighnari. do you mind going over the procedure for warning travellers about fungi again? sometimes i stumble with the more insistent ones.”

you could hear a bit of truth bleed into the ploy. it was certainly convincing enough as tighnari gestured for her to come to closer as he plucked a few samples. “certainly! it’s always good to familiarise yourself. sometimes they can get a little tricky. like this one, the bell-shaped and conical caps can often confuse people. you have to really pay attention to the arch…”

archons bless him, it didn’t really take much. 

tighnari’s eyes darted briefly to you as you settled near them. his body turned to welcome you into the discussion, but he otherwise continued his deep analysis of proper measurements of cap width. the fleeting eye contact was enough for you to witness the undeniable brightness as he conversed. 

as much as you liked to tease him, the jest hardly had any weight when the man was as serious about his research. he often responded with a chide about the importance of understanding and how it promoted coexistence. and then he would give you editions of his publications for you to study. 

the first few times, after you’d baulked at the depth of the information, you’d actually managed to discover a few interesting elements. despite his ability to drone on, the passion he felt was undeniable when reading through this material. even if you didn’t retain much of the actual reading, the smile you developed lingered. only to widen when you’d witnessed the excited flicker of his tail when you’d returned the books with a few inquiries of your own. 

tighnari took your interest in the fauna populating the forest seriously, cultivating the bud of fascination and furthering it. you hadn’t developed enough academic discretion to attempt a article- not that it would have been credible without the proper education- but tighnari baubles your insights all the same, often using your tracking skills to help develop new routes during various mating and hibernation periods. 

it … really helped you feel at home. valued amongst the other forest rangers. 

so what if you occasionally found your cheeks warming whenever he complimented your new discoveries. 

“when people ask, it's important to point out as many examples as you can to help them identify. in most cases you only have their attention for a few minutes so you need to capitalise.”

you had to give it to collei, she was either fully immersed or integrating very well into the diversion. though when tighnari got like this, it was nearly one in the same. 

rolling onto your knees, you paused as those endearing astute ears twitched in your direction. tighnari hadn’t skipped a beat, however instinct was so inherent. it made for an unfair advantage, however you had desensitisation on your side. the next disturbance you made as you leaned closer hardly got a reaction as his second nature focused on the world outside your bubble. 

it was a flattering downfall that you’d happily exploit as your hand neared your objective. 

“- actually that’s a common mistake. some of the gills look similar but if you notice here..:”

oh no. 

in one fluid motion, tighnari managed to capture your hovering hand, dragging it forward under his arm to come in contact with his other. the motion dragged you flush against his back as he manipulated your fingertips against the underside of the mushroom. 

“-… there’s a coarser distinction. of course, you have to be careful when encouraging other to touch freely as some can still be poisonous.”

naturally you doubted tighnari would use you so freely as an impromptu demonstration, punishment be damned. though the way he kept your appendage hostage implied that you weren’t free from reprimand. 

poor collei chuckled nervously as tighnari held out the fungi for her to try, eyes wondering anxiously between the two of you. from your imprisonment, you were unable to see what expression tighnari was giving off, but if the tight grip was any indicator it was safe to hypothesise that it wasn’t in your favour. 

“i um- see. thank you, master.”

tighnari didn’t appear to have any ill will towards the girl which was a small grace. his tone, however, was noticeably pinched as he directed the conversation over his shoulder. 

“do you have any questions, ranger?”

yep. 

there’s the wrath. 

accepting defeat, your head careened forward into the hollow of his shoulder as you mumbled your negative with the shake of a head. Immediately you felt his posture stiffen in responses to your relaxed submission. the proximity awarded you a personal showcase of the heat crawling up the back of his neck. 

interesting. 

“well then!” tighnari forced a cheerful bravado as he brought you both to an abrupt stand, releasing you in favour of stepping forward to lead. “collei, listen closely as they recite every classification as we finish our patrol. we can make note of their mistakes so that they don’t make them again when they extensively copy them onto the new pamphlets for next release.”

it didn’t evade you how the fox refused to face you as he pressed forward. you dared to guess that the rosy hue of his neck might match the roundness of his cheeks.

perhaps some discoveries were worth the failures. 

|3|

“I really want to feature the spinokrok in my next story but I’ve never really seen one up close. dad says it’s too dangerous though.”

“he’s right. they’re at the very bottom of the ravine.”

“oh…”

“but sometimes i pass through on patrols. if you’d like, i can snap a reference photo for you!”

“really? that would be awesome, thanks so much!”

children’s happiness was truly a unique fruit of motivation, both gratuitous and frankly slightly treacherous to consume. tighnari might liken it to one of the colourful sprouts that populate the banks near the cliffside; beautifully cunning but sure to leave you with a nasty surprise.

—okay, maybe that was a little dramatic. 

but you were certainly going to be in for quite the scolding if tighnari found out that you derailed your patrols for the sake of taking a leisure photo of wildlife. in the defence of safety, the fox wasn’t as easily swayed by a childish promise. 

fortunately, you were adept enough with just about any patrol path through the rainforest by now. your experience often persuaded tighnari to give allowance for you to tend to the paths along the outskirts of the village solo. 

which you were totally doing. 

just from a view a couple hundred metres below. 

the path towards the wetland ravine was a muddy line in the undergrowth, a quieter trail that rarely gathered much traffic: traveller or wildlife. to be honest, you hardly ever saw anything other than the spinokrok’s down here. though given their diet, it wasn’t much of a surprise. 

you carefully neared the bankside, watching the position of the sun in between the treetops. you’d already bartered away a lot of your time venturing this low. while you were known for a bit of wandering, if you took too long to check-in someone would end up alerting tighnari before long. the sky was already beginning to bleed into a light orange, the beginning shades of the setting sun melting into the blue above. 

not your first nighttime return, but the light scolding would be easy enough to shake off. 

the sudden splash drew your attention to the winding river as a crane took flight. the skittish fowl wouldn’t have been alerted to your presence this early which meant that your targets weren’t far off. 

tugging the kamera from your knapsack, you followed the line of the water through the lens. 

“there you are…”

razi would be pleased with the prints of the small brood of three. highlights from above complimented the red scales nicely. curious, you swung the lens further upstream in an attempt to capture a few more. known for their meat, if undisturbed it would be easy enough to find at least another two or three. 

however as the slithering vines stretched norther further, twisting through branches on its congest to conquer vegetation, you found the rapidly darkening view to be concerning. sure enough, the once plentiful flora was beginning to shrink on itself and take on a dull shade. the distinctive red flow of the withering zone was seated right in the apex of the blistering landscape. 

“here too?”

the area was small, but this route was part of the weekly assignments rather than the more frequent. had you not come here in search of fauna, it likely wouldn’t have been discovered for a few more days. unfortunately, locating it yourself was tantamount to giving away your private detour. 

for a brief moment you debated taking the chance to report, weighing the pros and cons. ultimately, the loss of independency once tighnari tracked your impromptu route was too great of a squander. besides, it was a small devastation. you were qualified to handle it.

—except for the corrupted machina lingering just out of sight. 

the narrow lens of the kamera hadn't been able to capture the additional dangers before you neared. had you been aware, you would have attempted to at least down one before you got too close. it was a tight battle, suffering under the thick miasma while trying to cut off the source. 

you’d managed to down the bulkier of the two, but the swindling snake-like projection had been doing an annoying job of evading your strongest attacks. with your hp at threatening level, coupled with low energy regeneration, you were starting to regret your choices just a little bit. 

you briefly wondered if tighnari would scold you through the eulogy. 

the darkness blanketing the forest worked against you, as the remaining threads of daylight faded. the red glow of the withering was the least comforting form of light to rely on as you made a hasty dodge away from the blasting beam. 

“oh, crap.”

a miscalculation saw your foot caught on a fraying vine, careening your forward as you landed heavily onto the ground. the threatening wind of the machina generating energy had you sucking in a harsh breath as you attempted to stand, resulting in a sharp jolt of pain as your ankle protested. a cold chill numbed your body in the worst way as the unsettling realisation of your actions weighed in. scrambling feebly for your weapon, you attempted to shield the next blow though you knew it wouldn't be enough. 

“enshroud!”

your body jerked in alarm as a cloud of green circled the earth around you. the lack of visibility should have been worrying, had you not been very familiar with it’s caster; and the inevitable reckoning that would come. 

the first half came in the form of a series tanglevine shafts trained to track and devastate. the secondary wave wiped out the last of the threats before your savour was able to focus on the bleeding blooms. you’d never been more grateful to witness a successful clearance, as the suffocating effects of the withering abed away. it gave you just enough clear air to breath a grateful sigh of relief before it all soured. 

the second half of your retribution, was a quieter approach of wraith then you were use to. tighnari refused to look you in the eye as he kneeled before your injured limb. not that that you were trying to see the reflection of your guilt staring back at you. it gave you the opportunity to observe that he’d come alone, making you wonder if he’d been informed or had simply stumbled upon you. 

neither option was beneficial. 

the fox was obviously simmering, that much was clear even in his silence. he’d produced a small aid kit from his belt and was examining your ankle. the first sounds of annoyance permeating the air when you squeaked at the firm pressure against the joint. 

it was obvious that you wouldn’t be walking out of here. 

as if you weren’t in enough trouble. 

tighnari’s reticence preserved as he tied a stiff bow at the end of your wrapping before turning to offer his back. sighing, you accepted your fate and looped your arms around his neck. tighnari waited until your knees settled at his sides before he rose to his feet, added a second security under the weight of your thighs. 

at first you hoped to construct a plausible excuse in his silence, but after you’d practised the same redemption for the twelfth time you were starting to become more concerned about his resilience. you dont think you've ever witness tighnari hold back a scolding this long. 

unable to hold out any longer, you poked the hornet’s nest. 

“so razi has this new story idea.”

yeah you were throwing the kid under the bus, sue you. 

the first flicker of his ears was a subtle warning, but you pressed through. 

“he wanted to use the spinokroks as his next character but he’d never really been able to see one up close. and naturally it wouldn’t be safe for a child to traverse the forests. even with his father.”

there goes the second ear. 

“so being the helpful forest ranger i am under your tutelage, i offered to secure a reference photo for him. which of course—”

tighnari’s voice came quiet and strained. “please stop talking.”

you waited for him to say more, sure that he’d have more to tack on, but no other words left his lips. it was disconcerting in a way you hadn’t experienced before. you'd suffered through annoyance, frustration and some rage. 

but rarely disappointment. 

it was bitter tasting. 

it was rather telling when even the wildlife seemed to avoid the pair as you ascended out of the ravine. tighnari managed to not only reach the outskirts of the village, but did so without cracking under the pressure of your culpability. 

unfortunately you weren’t as robust. 

“tigh—”

“for every word, i’m adding a week of lamp maintenance duty.”

you squeezed your arms and legs around him in a hug, seeking out a thread of comfort through the throbbing pain of your ankle. 

“i’m sorry.”

tighnari sucked in a sharp breath as his steps halted. you could see the first glow of the lamps in the distance, no doubt a night crew lingering near to welcome the late returners. 

“you’re an idiot.”

a tight fist squeezed your heart as you shuddered against his back. 

“i know.”

“another week! i cannot believe your absolute disregard for your welfare. not only in straying from your patrols but to attempt to clear a withering zone without reporting it first. what were you thinking?”

your lips parted, voice small,” well i thought given how far off it was that no one would come across it before it spread.”

the fox was quietly shaking under you,” i’m tempted to bench you for a year for this alone. you could have been killed.”

“but i wasn’t.”

tighnari didn’t acknowledge the crackled excuse as he resumed the ascent towards the heart of the village. the conversation was over, at least for tonight. you almost felt bad for those hapless to witness the quiet fury as the leader trudged through the canopy. though the arrangement surely painted a telling story no one dared to stop or question.

upon entering your bungalow, tighnari silently backed into your bed until you took the hint.

as your arms slipped from around him, your fingertips brushed against the furry cartilage. though the action went ignored by both parties.

“rest, we’ll discuss this in the morning.”

|4|

the discussion did not come the following morning, or the rolling day as the sun rose and set. given your ailment you weren't exactly able to seek out your punishment, though the waiting game felt like the precursor. 

for the first three days, your only visitors were collie and one of the local healers. tighnari likely hadn’t banned the nervous girl, allowing her to stumble in at first light to assess your injuries. it seemed as though he also didn’t inform her of much as she tired to glean what she could. 

unfortunately, your mood hadn’t really improved from the night before, nor had your pain levels. you managed a tight smile at best, gritting through a scarce overview. the overhanging rumours were that you finally pushed tighnari to his limits. which was not too far from the truth. 

your medicine came in three intervals, and each visit was just that. umm only offer a genial knowing close-lipped smile as she applied the numbing cream and rewrapped your joints. the only news came from collei with each meal. it was never what you wanted to hear, but the sound of a voice other than your thoughts was welcome. 

you were able to keep up with light chat, the both of you doing an amicable job at avoiding the shaggy sumpter beast in the room. if the flightiness she gave off was anything to go by, then tighnari hadn’t completely cooled off. initially, you’d only probed subtly. asking about her patrols to see who accompanied her. questioning new withering zone reports to gauge who might be assigned. either tighnari had instructed her to be tightlipped or she was on as much of a lockdown as you were because the information gleaned was inconsequential. 

it wasn’t until the fifth day, when you were able to balance on your injured ankle for longer than a minute that you dared to try for more. 

umm had just finished, stepping clear of the doorway to allow collei to maneuver freely with the two bowls of lunch. the younger girl was in a lighter mood, giving you the extra confidence to push. 

you took a bite of the leftover stew first, before testing the waters. “has tighnari taken you on any deeper patrols lately?”

the girl stiffened but otherwise did not show any signs of distress. 

“not really, he’s been kind of strict with patrols lately. only seniors have been assigned to the forest floor. i patrolled the understory with nasrin yesterday though! the dusk birds are starting to nest.”

you could resist a soft smile as the girl lead comfortable into a short tangent about the different locations she’d tracked in her notebook. she loved to watch the hatching process from the birth to first flight. tighnari was often more lenient with her during this season. you were pleased to know your mess up hadn’t resulted in that being taken away.

“hopefully i’ll be healed enough to catch one of the hatchings.”

collei’s gaze flickered to your freshly wrapped ankle, “master tighnari wouldn’t say but he’s been pretty testy about ranger etiquette lately. well more than useful.”

“yeah, i was pretty stupid,” you muttered, quoting the fox’s words from that night. 

collei sat upright on the chair by your desk, responding to your despondent mood. “he’s not nearly as bad as before though. i mean that morning after he was really mad. not like loud angry, but everyone knew not to test him. but he’s calmer now”, she assured.

you assumed as much. avoiding you was likely the best way to keep his temper in check.

you watched as the green haired trainee squirmed in her seat, no doubt uncomfortable at the idea of being between the brewing conflict. tighnari no doubt tried to ease that predicament by withholding information. the least you could do was honour your half to keep from setting her off. 

“umm said i should try walking around more. i got permission to pace the platform if you want to join.”

the girl jumped at the chance, nearly losing her bowl in the process. laughing, you quickly took hers and set it on the desk with yours before standing to your feet. collei was at your side, urging your arm over her shoulder. it wasn’t really necessary but you’d never turn down the girl’s assistance. 

carefully the two of you ambled through the leaves shrouding your entrance. it wasn’t the first time this week that the sun warmed your skin. umm had urged you to test the distance from your bed to your porch on the second day with each visit there after. it helped tp press your limitations while keeping the joint from getting too stiff. but this was the first time you’d been able to venture far enough out to interact with more than the same two people for the last few days. 

collei remained diligent as she led you down the straight path, attention not straying from your gait as you greeted faces you haven't seen in awhile. the reception was overall positive, your health and wellbeing superseding the wraith that had hung over the encampment for the past week. it narrowed down the list of those you’d need to apologise to at least. 

“oh it’s master tighnari!”

your gaze snapped to her extended finger, noting the tall tuff of ears before anything else. his back was turned to you, a fortunate thing as you still weren’t sure how to face him just yet. he appeared to be conversing with a group, though it wasn’t the usual collection of rangers waiting for assignments. 

you recognized the garments however. 

collei groaned as she sagged under your arm. “its the akademiya again. when will they ever learn?”

likely no time soon, as the pressure from both the forest and threat of the ‘scarlet king’ followers continued to rise. the first time you witnessed the prestigious envoy attempting to recruit the fox, you’d been in awe. it was somewhat of an honour to be approached by anyone doning the gowns. next to the archon herself, they were the reigning power. however the prestige lost a light grace, when tighnari scoffed at the invitation. 

it was one of the occasions that you’d really come to appreciate more than just his vast knowledge. of course, you respected him as a leader but it was different to consider his understanding of plant life on a scholarly level. his tangents that he loved to rattle your ear with were published and very popular articles. 

he was something of a celebrity. a fact that you loved to tease just to see the tops of his cheeks grow warm at the admission. 

now, even at this distance, you could see a similar red dusting his fair skin. but not in the pleasant way that warmed your chest. 

no it seemed that an inkingly of your excursion still peaked his heart rate. and this wasn't making it any better.

that wasn’t good.

“collei, please help me.”

“huh? oh, wait! not too fast.”

tighnari grit through a tight smile, barely hanging onto his fangs to keep them from showing. at a young age his mother taught him that human could find it threatening. frankly, right now he wished to find out how much of a truth that was if it got these nuisances out of his hair. 

this was the last thing that he wished to deal with right now. the institution had taken a different route it seemed, sending students under the premise of studying under his tutelage. something he would maybe consider any other time than now. 

his foot tapped irritably as one of the bolder ones spoke his piece, spouting words of prose that meant nothing to him. they were all weak and obvlivious children wandering aimlessly. he had enough of those under his own watch. 

“master tighnari, i've read all your publications intensively and feel that i would be a valuable asset in your further research of the withering zones. i believe that together we can find a cure.”

tighnari barely resisted rolling his eyes. it was almost laughable. the withering had plagued them for centuries and they were still no closer to curbing it. no amount of research at this point was going to factor in. all they could do was contain, and that was a skill the akademiya didn’t teach.

breathing audibly through his nose, the fox attempted to remain cordial. “i appreciate your determination, however, i'm not in a position right now to allocate more rangers to facilitate your safety. the forest—”

“—i’ve also read intently on the local fauna and proper was to track warning signs of predators…”

tighnari really hated when he was interrupted. 

“i’m confident in my ability to spot danger before it becomes a problem.”

especially by know-it-alls who were overstepping in his domain.

the student continued on unware of the growing dangers, “i’ve brought a few of my manuscripts with me if you’d like to browse some of my speculations and hypotheses…”

tighnari's brow twitched as the student droned on. for someone who boasted about extensive research on understanding predators he was rather obvious to the one standing before him. the same couldn't be said about his colleagues who were carefully edging back. 

“if i could just get a few samples—”

the student had sense enough to notice as the plant scholar suddenly flinched, hand coming up to grasp the wrist of the hand threatening to touch the tip of his ear. it was the first time since opening his mouth that he’d taken into account the strained curl to the lips of the botany researcher. 

his gaze then flickered to the more relaxed, if not slightly sheepish smile of the forest ranger behind. they seemed otherwise unconcerned despite the death grip they'd been trapped in for … attempting to touch master tighnari’s ears?

the student felt a shudder wrack his body as the fox’s grimace smoothed into … something that he would one day recognize as a reckoning he’d be fortunate to survive in years to come. 

“apologies, you’ll have to excuse me. it appears one of my rangers feels well enough to venture off their bed rest and is due for some new assignments.” with that, the lead ranger looped the still trapped limb over his shoulder before assisting the injured ranger back up the canopy. 

“you can give your manuscripts to my trainee, collei.”

the green hair trainee in question waved timidly, unsure of how she got in this position but willing to help.” hello, im forest ranger trainee collei. please let me assist you safely out of the forest.”

|5|

“it’s master tighnari!”

believe it or not, forest rangers did get off days. while it was still heavily frowned on to use that time to exploit certain privileges to free roam the forest, there were other activities that some could get up to. 

some would use the opportunity to travel to the city or port for the market or to visit family.

others utilised their freedom to work on personal research. 

then there was tighnari who used the opportunity to research the local flora … via oral experimentation. 

your small project had been tossed aside in favor of darting out of your bungalow at the cry of fright from the green haired girl. it wasn’t the first time you’d witnessed tighnari taking his passion … to the next level. that time, curiosity had thrown him into a rather long slumber that he’d conveniently woken up from after a gratuitous amount of panicking on collie’s part and just in time for you to return with the rescue aid party. 

it was safe to say that was not the last occassion, and tighari had treated you both to several lunches to make up for the scares. 

but it wasn’t often that he was brought back to the village in a state. more often than not the ailments resolved in the time it took someone to find him or simply shaken off with no concern. 

it was enough to have you barreling unannounced through the head ranger’s door with apprehension. firm but fraying hands caught you as you stumbled through, righting your body before you could embarrass yourself. 

“don’t worry, tighnari is fine. it’s a harmless reaction to one of the fungi he consumed.”

umm brought her hands to a comfortable leisure behind her back as you peered over her shoulder. 

tighnari was lain out across his bed. it looked as though he had been tucked away intentionally, but the man had fought away the sheets in a fit. there was a light coat of perspiration doting his forehead and his skin had taken on a rosy flush. it hardly looked harmless. you’d never seen the lead forest watcher look so … unravelled. 

when was he going to learn to stop experimenting so freely?

umm gave a passing pat to your shoulder,“with a bit of rest he’ll be just fine.”

you had hoped as much but it eased some of your worries to see him at least home safe. though his predicament still tested your resolve. you would distract yourself for the time being concocting your own chiding speech. seriously, someone needed to hold him accountable. as it seemed, you were the only one daring enough to challenge the fox. 

heavily a relieved sigh, you turned to leave. collie would likely need a second dose of comfort now that you’d taken your own inventory of the indisposed ranger. umm, bless her soul, wasn’t a very convincing source of comfort. having collie help prepare your speech would do some good for her as well.

“wait, don’t go yet.”

you stiffed at the unexpected plea. the voice behind you sounded a bit stronger than it should be in this predicament, more like the fox you recognized. umm hadn’t left you with any instructions, but it was safe to assume he was meant to rest as not to rile up his heart rate anymore. something you were very good at doing.

you liked to think that the two of you were on agreeable terms thus far. you’d been a textbook ranger over the last few weeks. not testing the limits of your privileges or boundaries. it allowed for the two of you to have some nice conversations. though you doubted anything very articulate would come from his mouth right now. 

it was unfair, how adorable he looked with mussed hair, heavy eyes and creased clothes. umm had taken responsibility to rid him of the more decorative parts of his uniform, leaving him in a simple shirt and pants. the said shirt appeared to have been tugged open, revealing the lean muscles of his chest and abdomen. 

that was decidedly leaning away from cute, as you tore your gaze away and scolded yourself. 

“you should really lay back down, tighnari, i need you to be yourself when i deliver your scolding later.”

“tigh.”

“huh?”

you were shaken out of your stupor when he stood, concern triggering your fight reaction as you quickly huddled him back onto the bed before he fell. he allowed you to do so, however when he glanced up at you his olive eyes showed annoyance.

“i prefer when you refer to me as tigh.”

your mouth open and closed silently at the admission. you could never recall tighnari outright scolding you for the curtail of his name. you used it so sparingly, and only ever in the comfort of just yourselves or collei. 

he never really showed any emotion other than surprise the first time he’d realised what you said. you never assumed he’d catalogued the occurrences to feel any ownership over the name.

you fidgeted under the scrutinised of the fox, unsure of how to proceed from there. it was obvious that he was still mildly effective if the rose of his skin was anything to go by. but there was undeniable clarity cutting through the fog in his eyes. it was enough of a relief to have your shoulders sagging slightly. 

if it got him to comply and rest through the remainder of the effects, you could concede. 

“okay, … tigh. please stop eating flora so carelessly.”

it wasn’t your intention to start the chastising prematurely, but if he wanted you to talk, you’d do so. you weren’t sure what all of this he would recall, but you hoped the echoing nag of your voice would hover like a hangover next time he considered experimenting alone. you knew he only tested things with vague assumptions, just enough to ensure that he wouldn’t perish on sight. but it was still close enough calls for you to worry. 

you thought nothing of the way he snared your hands, too used to having them detained in pursuit of your goal. maybe another time you would be the one to catalogue just how frequently the two of you help hands. certainly enough to suffer from desensita-

your speech cut off with a choke as the fox brought one of your hands to the crown of his head. it was the closest you’d ever gotten to your prize, just a simple flex of your fingers and it would be yours. 

and he was just allowing it. 

“um, tigh…?”

you swallowed as his hold slid to your wrist, thumb caressing the inside. 

“it’s what you want, right?” unintentionally your finger flexed under the strain of resisting, just the casual brush against the ear causing the body to shudder. tighnari managed an even breath through his nose, but you suspected his heart was creating as much of a racket as yours was. “ i want you to. i don’t mind if it’s you.”

you sucked in a sharp breath at the omission.

it took strength that you didn't think you had, and stupidity you’d likely reflect on later that night as you regrettably pulled your hand away. firmly not thinking at all about the soft whine that left the fox’s lips at the action. 

your smile was wobbly, frail under the weight of emotions teetering at the edge. you gave his bicep a comforting squeeze before you urged him to lay back in bed. thankfully he didn’t put up much of a fight as you tucked him in. 

his lashes fluttered closed against the cool caress of his cheek.

“next time, promise.”

between one breath and the next, he fell asleep.

|+1|

tighnari woke to a low hanging sun and a heavy head. despite the warnings he opened his eyes, then immediately shut them. though blurry and out of sequence, the master ranger was able to piece together the majority of his last coherency. 

he’d been experimenting with the effects of the moonshade mushrooms. there had been reports of unaware travellers losing consciousness in the middle of the forest and waking in a fevered state. naturally, he’d taken it upon himself to test the outcome in order to properly assign warning labels in his next publication. 

the initial bout of slumber had been brief, broken by a wave of nausea and the sensation of his body overheating itself. he then recalled umm stripping away his uniform in order to help him cool down.

and then there was you.

he remembered the sound of your concern and the inkling of berating though he couldn't exactly call back the wording. he was sure to get an encore either way; well deserved. 

there was a gaping absence in his recollection, but the sensation of your hand settled between the space of his ears hadn’t escaped him. when had he gotten bold enough to daringly reach out like that? sure you’d done the same on multiple occasions but it had been in pursuit of a singular goal while he—

tighnari stared at the leaf drawn entrance of his chamber, face burning. 

but surely that could not have all occurred before noon. 

“oh good you’re awake. that mushroom managed to down even you for a full day. it's certainly something to be aware of.”

the elderly woman peered briefly through the cut of the door before granting herself entrance. tighnari sat obediently still as she flittered over his vital signs, ensuring his temperature and heart rate were within agreeable boundaries. 

she scribbled the notes like clockwork into the parchment on his desk. while his methods weren’t often agreed upon, umm saw the value in the repercussions. her diligence had help assist in multiple breakthroughs. tighnari would be sure to deliver a nice basket of her favourite tree sap candies once he was back in working order. 

amir would have certainly taken initiative to oversee assignments for the day. he would certainly owe collei a visit as well to assure her fears. he vaguely remembered her putting up a fuss when he’d been carried in, shortly before she’d been directed out leading to her alerting you. 

tighnari’s cheeks grew hot again. he refused to acknowledge the rising blush even as umm chuckled quietly while gathering up her kit. instead, he kept his eyes on the entrance as he pinned his sashes in place and equipped his vision. 

it wasn’t as if the two of you weren’t already rather close. it was safe to say he gave you more allowances than most. sure, your futile attempts to touch his ears could be frustrating at times, but more so because of the opportunities you took than the actual actions. 

despite popular belief, tighnari didn’t truly hold his ears in that high regard. it was more out of proprietary that he shied away from strangers acting out of curiosity. to be honest, he really wouldn’t mind too much if a ranger asked to pet them. but it seems as if their own misconceptions had fed into the unspoken rule that his fox-like features were out of the question. 

except for you. 

over time, the two of you managed to lapse into a comfortable game of cat and mouse. tighnari knew if he’d shown any true signs of anger you would have backed away from the start. but his tolerance had permitted you to try again and again. 

so what if the occasional punishments he placed on you deterred the others, it never snuffed your fire and that was all that mattered to him. 

it was only natural that over time constant exposure would ignite his own interest. he could recall with vivid memory the way it felt to have you pressed against his back that time in the forest when you attempted to claim your prize in the middle of his lecture. he’d made you wait there while he finished the lesson, all the while relishing in the heat permitted his back. 

had it been just the two of you, he would have let you. 

yet when he finally caved and gave you the permission you'd been seeking all this time, you’d backed out. 

‘next time’ you’d promised. 

“if you’re done laminating, once you've finished eating you can go find them. i  believe i saw them returning not long before i came here.”

umm didn’t wait for a response as she saw herself out, her amusement audible even as she descended the ramp to her own domain. 

tighnari didn’t rush the act as he finished his meal and the provided water. once he finished, his lips turned at the dimming sunlight. his schedule was all but thrown out the window for the day, though he doubted anyone expected him to contribute much. still it stung his consciousness as a leader to leave his subordinates hanging , even if they were all self-sufficient adults. at least the headache had disappeared with proper nourishment. there would be time to salvage his routine later.

the sun was positioned late in the afternoon, but the dim light still irritated his eyes. he blinked through the sting as he welcomed the sight of the quaint village operating adequately in his absence. 

he returned any passing waves and gave brief responses to their questions. for the most part everyone seemed confident that he’d make a full recovery, though he still harboured the guilt of worrying them. 

brow pinched, he waved nasrin closer. “have you seen collei?”

the purse of her mouth didn’t spell anything good. tighnari hoped her illness had not acted up in his absence. “she had trouble sleeping last night so someone swapped patrols with her. she just set off not too long ago.”

the girl sometimes had trouble sleeping when plagued with anxiousness. tighnari settled that he would confront her upon her return, for now he had one more stop. he had a feeling he knew who offered to adjust their schedule to accommodate the girl.

he found your bungalow with practised ease, delivering a single knock before you offered entrance. he found you seated at your desk, no doubt detailing the report of your finding before submission. it was a relief to see that you took a break from your typical mischievousness to conduct a seemingly uniform patrol while he was indisposed. 

“i don't suppose you came across any new interesting flora on your patrols?”

tighnari watched as your shoulders stiffened at the unexpected sound of his voice. your head whipped around, eyes assessing him carefully before you gave a timid, relieved smile. 

“i think we can all agree that you’ve had enough adventures for one week,” you noted with light scolding. 

grinning, tighnari cared little if his fangs showed, knowing you wouldn't find them threatening. your gaze followed him as he secured the leaves behind him before approaching your desk. he leaned comfortably against the wooden structure as he browsed the report. it had been routine indeed, not a single withering sighting. 

“are you sure you’re alright? you had me worried for a bit.”

tighnari’s brow rose,” only a bit?”

scoffing, you rolled your eyes,” it’s not the worst thing you’ve eaten but seeing you down for so long was concerning. collei will be relieved to see you back on your feet.”

tighnari braceed his palm against the dest and leaned into the posture,“and you?”

“i owe you a scolding. you always get onto me about being aware and careful of my surroundings. yet here you go testing unknown fungi alone in the forest. at least bring it back before you test it out so we can be there if you need us.”

tighnari waited for you to finish, eyes shining with thinly veiled amusement. you seemed to recognize it as well, huffing as you realised your scolding didn't have as much weight as the seasoned scholar. 

unable to resist, the fox reached out to run is fingers along the side of your face before letting them rest against your shoulder. he watched as your chest expanded to take in the small gasp of surprise. it was a rare moment for him to initiate contact like this, especially given the recent occurrence only yesterday. while his recollection was misty, yours was clear as day. 

“i think you owe me something else too.”

tighnari watched your reactions carefully, from the flutter of your lashes to the rapid thrum of your heart beat against the pulse under your jaw. he never shied away from a discovery the promise of a satisfying understanding driving him from one revelation to the next. 

admittedly, you’d been a gradual observation. the question at the tip of the scale all this time while he’d unknowingly researched you thoroughly with each new interaction. day and day again, you prompted him with new variables both under his control and not. it was only today that he managed to form a working hypothesis. a hesitant theory that he knew would shift everything.

tighnari watched with growing fascination as the initial shock meddling into purposefulness as your hand came into view. impatient, he couldn't resist ducking his hand to meet you halfway. the first careful touch was equally inquisitive and hesitant. each time in the past, your hand had darted out with such certainty. yet now with it all willing at your fingertips, you allowed yourself the time to explore.

he hadn’t realised his head had come to rest against your collar bone until he felt the rumbled of your laughter. you didn’t simply just touch his ears, you caressed the length form the widest part to the tip. your fingertips tickled the tufts of fluff at the base. and the light scratched you delivered against the firm cartilage had him all but melting into your hold. the burst of new stimuli tickled his nerves and left pleasant sensations.

later he would analyse the data but he was already certain about his conclusion. 

your words mussed the top of his head as you spoke, humour bleeding into your intrigue. “can’t believe it took you a year to crack, tigh.”

tighnari sagged further at the uttering of the name. you flinched, not expecting the words of response to be mumbled into your skin. gratefully, it didn't cause you to pause.

“what was that?”

your touch slid from his ears to the curve of his jaw as his head rose to meet your gaze. 

“i actually had two hypotheses I wanted to test.”

though he didn't speak more than that, he could tell you were well aware of the implications. your lips parted to respond, but no words could pass the lump in your throat. tighnari tested the waters, leaning closer enough to brush the tup of his nose against yours. when you didn't pull away, he leaned down and pressed your lips together, firmly but briefly. as he breathed in deeply,  the smell of lush forestry, sweet flora and you invaded his scenes. the scent of familiarity minding with the aroma of what he called home was intoxicating. 

your eyes shone bright with mischief as tighnari pulled away, no doubt observing the rosy hue spreading across his face. 

“i think we need to experiment a little more before we can come to a confident conclusion.”

tighnari leaned back in and nuzzled you affectionately. 

“i agree.’’