#uncorrect

Linda: I don't give a fuck if there is a microchip in the vaccine. They could put a whole iPod Nano inside me if it meant I was allowed to get drunk at Olive Garden again

Linda: For my second date with Bob, we met in the city and went to a party and ended up at a restaurant at 3:00 AM where he reached across the table, grabbed my hands, looked at me adoringly, and said, “I hate this. I wanted to go to bed at 9:00. Do not expect this of me again.”