#unconvincingly

See, I don't even think Poe pretends to have chill, I think he just openly has THE LEAST CHILL and it's one of his most charming facets at this point, for most people.

Ha ha, I like that too, that is a great (and perfectly canon-supported) interpretation.

 But i have like.  A hojillion words invested into this characterization of Poe as Overachiever In All Things Including Being (I’m channeling like, 2005-era Dooce, if anyone remembers her) The Valedictorian Of Being Super Chill All The Time. 

He is. He is so chill, you guys. He is like, keeps talking way too long about how it’s cool if you do whatever it is that you do because if he were you he would do this thing? which is cool? and it’s cool? if you don’t do that? but really it’s actually well there’s a lot of research supporting-- but I mean. It’s cool. You do you. Because it’s super cool when you do you. You know? *finger-guns* *backs out of the room* *blows out a breath through pursed lips* yeah okay buddy next time maybe stop talking a little earlier yeah okay. 

(That’s like. Poe at like. 25. He’s a little better at stopping talking as he gets through his twenties. By thirty he has his own specific gravity so he can kind of talk as long as he wants now, someone will undoubtedly chime in with a well-timed polite laugh, and that’s his cue, finger guns, change the subject, whew.) 

That shit’s exhausting but by the way if you survive into your thirties it eventually tends to ease until you can start to just-- speak your fuckin’ mind and not worry about it, because your existential dread has worn down a bunch of the parts you used to have to suppress, so you’re actually legit chill about the petty stuff because you ran out of fucks at about 35 and have been coasting ever since. And the shit you’re not chill about, well, at this point you know you’re justified so fuck being fake-chill, you have zero chill because it’s not warranted. Poe at forty, if he lives that long, is going to finally actually be as chill as he’s always pretended to be, but that brand of chill offers a lot of getting your ass chewed out if you fuck up the actual-important stuff because at this point he has the perspective to know the difference. There’s shit to be chill about and there’s shit not to be chill about.

This article was written by Follow Fred Piard, PhD. is a quantitative analyst and IT professional with over 30 years of experience working in technology. He is the author of three books and has been investing in data-driven systematic strategies since 2010. Fred runs the investing group Quantitative Risk & Value where he shares a portfolio invested in quality dividend stocks, and companies at…

(I’ve been deprived of Cale content for so long, I’m so sorry🧑‍🦯)