#uncle sly

Bobby: Come on guys, nothing in life is free! Dante: Love is free. Mick: Knowledge is free. Lyle: Adventure is free! Sandra: Self-respect is free. Kilroy: Everything is free, if you take it without paying.

Ridley: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever, and you're all invited. Leila: ...If? Carter: Great! The only party I've ever been invited to, and she might not even die!

Carter: I would like to live a safe life, in which I am not forced to steal. Uncle Sly: God, you are extremely fucking selfish. Die! Carter: I am 13 years old.

Leila: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Theo: Several traffic violations. Ridley: Three counts of resisting arrest. Carter: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Izzy: Also, that's not our car.

Cop: You're receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle. Bobby: Shit. Kilroy: ...Wait, three? Cop: Yeah? Lyle: OH MY GOD, MICK FELL OFF!

Kincaid: Release my brother! Kincaid: He did that shit, but I don't care!

Mr. Vernon: You're the love of my life and my best friend. I would do anything for you. The other Mr. Vernon: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule. Mr. Vernon: Absolutely not <3

Dean: How many kids do you have? Mr. Vernon: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?

Carter: *Gently taps table* Leila: *Taps back* Olly: What are they doing? Theo: Morse code. Carter: *Aggressively taps table* Leila: *slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

Good Uncle Sly AU

Basically, the Kaligans don't conduct/make their plan of getting revenge on Dante, but their parents' death and the time at the orphanage still left them with trauma, which is why they never returned to the Emerald Ring or Mineral Wells in general

And then Carter's parents die.

While they might not be plotting his murder, the accident has left a bitter taste for them when it comes to Dante. So even though they know Carter and him are related, they decide to adopt him themselves as his Uncle Sly

They never tell him about the relation, or about their twin-secret. However, somehow his Uncle always seems to know what Carter was up to. Always seems to appear when he's in any trouble, even if he swore, he just saw him disappear behind the corner

Of course, being alive costs money. And the only thing the Kalagans know is how to cheat. And eventually, a con-man's life gets too much for Carter, and he runs away, as in the books (though this time without as much fear/resentment towards his uncle. He just couldn't take all the stealing anymore). This time, however, Uncle Sly doesn't know where the train goes (which is why it takes so long for him to appear in Mineral Wells)

Carter's relationship with the others doesn't change too much (I'd probably pick the Circus as a new, though slightly less extreme antagonist). But when Uncle Sly appears, he has to balance caring for Carter, not exposing his identity as Kalagan to the ER members, and not exposing their identity as Kilroy and Kincaid to everyone