If you’re still taking prompts, would you do another uncle andreil? I’ve read the one that’s up on ao3 and it’s so cuuute!! Could you maybe write about the foxes seeing Aaron and Katelyn’s kids having these two terrifying assholes that are Andrew and Neil just absolutely wrapped around their fingers?
Of course!
I think this was sent to me like... two years ago? ^_^;
Better late than never? I hope it was worth the wait!
----
Dan Wilds was not quite sure what she was seeing. It was entirely possible that she was actually hallucinating. Maybe, on the way into town, she and Matt had actually gotten in a car accident - and the bizarre apparition in front of her right now was just, like, a side effect of the anesthesia as the doctors fought to save her life.
Far fetched, sure, but that still made more sense than Andrew Minyard in a frilly, child-sized apron holding a child-sized plastic teacup daintily on its saucer.
"Uh," said Matt beside her - which at least meant she probably wasn't actively hallucinating. Unless Matt was a part of her hallucination, which, well, was still more probable than what she was actually seeing.
"Sorry," Matt continued. "Did we uh, interrupt?"
"Yes," said Andrew blandly, his expression it's usual apathetic emptiness that only made the whole scene that much more chilling. Despite this confirmation, though, Andrew still stepped back to let them into the house.
This is probably the beginning of some weird twisted horror movie, Dan thought as she stepped inside - trying but failing not to stare as she noticed that the apron said "Princess Chef" in glittery letters across the front. Six months from now they're going to find out my bones were artistically crafted into a new tea set or something.
As if he knew what she was thinking, Andrew met her eyes and - while maintaining creepily unblinking eye contact - lifted the teacup to his lips and took a sip.
Matt made a choking sound beside her that turned into anxious spluttering when Andrew turned his silent, serious gaze onto him next. It had been years since either of them were genuinely afraid of Andrew Minyard, but though they had become as close as family (closer, really, when you consider the "family" any of the Foxes came from...) there was still a sense of... apprehension that came about unbidden whenever Andrew gave anyone his full attention.
Well, other than Neil and Renee - they seemed pretty unaffected, but Neil was just as bad as Andrew and Renee was Renee so...
Matt attempted to cover up his awkwardness with a cough and a laugh that didn't help at all. Then he said, "So uh, was the tiara taken, Minyard?"
Dan's eyes went wide and she snapped her attention over to her husband, catching the very moment Matt realized what he'd just said and who he'd said it too.
There was a beat of heavy, static silence. Dan felt as though all the air in the room had suddenly become caught in her throat and it was slowly ballooning out until she would either before to release it or choke, the pressure building and building until she was too tense even to gasp.
Then Andrew said, "Yes. It was Piper's turn." He lifted his (again, and it cannot be stressed enough, child-sized) teacup, took a sip, then turned and walked away from the foyer. Just as he was about to turn down the hall, he paused and looked back. "Oh, and it's Minyard-Josten. Either get it right or use my first name."
Andrew was gone before that registered. Before any of that registered.
Two beats after he vanished, Dan wheezed, pressing one hand to her chest and grabbing onto Matt's sleeve with the other to provide additional support to her suddenly jellified knees. "What--?" she gasped, at the same time Matt squeaked, "He!?" Then, in tandem, they both looked at each other and said, "Wait."
"Tiara," said Matt.
"Teacup!" implored Dan.
Both of Matt's hands landed on her shoulders, his eyes wide. "Minyard-Josten," he whispered. Then he paused, frowned, and said more firmly and with greater awareness. "Minyard-Josten!?"
"Wow, that was... I don't know what that was, but it was definitely embarrassing. The twins can do sentences better than you and they're not even three yet."
Both Dan and Matt jumped, their yelps of surprise mingling in a jumble of inelegant noise.
Aaron Minyard stood in the entryway that led to the kitchen, drying his hands on a towel. He looked good, Dan decided as she forced her mind away from the fuckery of whatever fever dream just let her and Dan into the house. Years of practicing medicine rather than exy, of the more recent adventure of parenthood, had done a lot to change his outward appearance from his brother. Aaron was a bit rounder now, his hair longer and the curls of his blond hair full and wild in a way Andrew never would have allowed. He looked... friendly, warm - the complete opposite of his entire definition back when they were in college. Even with the bemused smirk he wore now, he had a very... fatherly vibe about him.
Of all the OG Foxes, they got to see Aaron and Katelyn the least. With both of them being doctors, and then very quickly parents only a few short years after medical school, they had a stricter schedule and much less mobility when it came to travel and visit availability. This would be the first time Matt and Dan would be seeing the twins since right after they were born, though they'd dialed in for a New Years zoom several months ago.
Matt cleared his throat, then grinned. "Aaron. Hey! C'mere man." Dan waited her turn. Then also hugged Aaron.
"Where is Katelyn?" she asked, both because she was genuinely curious and also because if she didn't ask that she was going to ask--
"What the fuck was Andrew wearing just now!?" Matt hissed in an urgent rush almost before she finished asking her own, much more reasonable question that definitely had a much less terrifying answer. "Ow!" Matt grunted with a pout as Dan smacked him in the shoulder. "I call spousal abuse! You were thinking it too!"
"I'll show you spousal abuse," she muttered darkly, then turned to Aaron. "But yeah, he's right. What the fuck?"
Aaron chuckled, then shrugged. "Go see for yourself. They're in the play room. It's tea time."
"Tea time?" Matt rasped, and now that Andrew wasn't there, the hilarity of the whole thing was finally beginning to dawn.
Dan looked at Matt, and could feel her own face stretching into a grin that matched his. "Tea time," she breathed. "With toddlers. Andrew... and Neil?" Dan made it a question, looking at Aaron.
Aaron sighed, and the familiar "oh that asshole" affectionate disdain was all Dan needed to know that Neil Josten (Minyard-Josten?) was also participating in toddler tea time. Dan met Matt's eyes, and the next second they were both half-tripping over each other as they scrambled down the hall that Andrew had disappeared down.
There was only one open door at the end of the hall, and Matt and Dan skidded to a stop right in the doorway, eyes wide and mouths in identical, open-mouthed grins - because no matter what was there it was going to be fucking once-in-a-lifetime.
And there. There they were.
Two adorable, cherubic little blonde toddlers sitting at a table that was surrounded by toddler-sized chairs, dressed up in what appeared to be a Ninja Turtles costume and an Elsa costume (both with tiaras). The Ninja Turtle was sitting on Princess Chef Andrew Minyard-Josten's lap, chattering away in mostly-unintelligible babble that Andrew appeared to completely understand. The little Elsa was sitting in her own chair, but she was turned toward the inhabitant of the seat immediately to her left, holding a tea cup up to it's large, inflatable snout.
"Neil. Josten," Dan croaked out, much louder than she meant to - startling the little girls but of course neither of the adults. In all her years knowing them she'd never been able to surprise Neil or Andrew.
That big flimsy head turned her way and Neil's voice, steady and unbothered, said, "I'm a tea-rex," as if it was the most reasonable thing in the world to say. Then, on Dan's way down to the floor, her knees giving way slow enough that she was at least able to grip the doorframe as she crumpled, he added, "Oh, and it's Minyard-Josten."
Some time later, once Dan had collected herself enough to look at them without fucking losing it (she had to leave the room twice - Matt just sat on the floor in a stupor for fifteen minutes until one of the girls brought him a teacup) she demanded to see the rings, which both tiny menaces instantly produced.
And, fuck it, she couldn't even be mad. Because here was Andrew fucking Minyard and Neil fucking Josten, married and having a tea party with a couple of toddlers - and if that wasn't the kind of personal growth and fulfillment that a Fox deserved she didn't know what was.
