Oct 20, 2015
True friendship is when one of your best friends searches niche porn on your work laptop JUST ENOUGH to see if she can get your boss to look at you weirdly.
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True friendship is when one of your best friends searches niche porn on your work laptop JUST ENOUGH to see if she can get your boss to look at you weirdly.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Cont.
Meg: No! There are too many people in this room!
Me: I mean, I don't really qualify as a person. I'm more of a platonic construct.
Conversations in Umbrellastuck
Meg: Beh that’s not a word!
Me: There are no words in coding. Only pain and sadness. That’s what the semicolons stand for in C++, your tears.
Me: The sun is coming up here
Jane: ...have you slept?
Me: ...
Jane: :|
Me: Do job applications count?
Me: Like is data entry sufficiently boring to qualify as REM?
Jane: no Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument
I never knew how lucky I would be - that the loves of my life would come to me in so many different forms. But I lay in their arms and I watch these amazing women who mean so much to me and I know that they are a home that can never be replicated. They are far more than bricks that will weather a storm, they are the sunrise that breaks across their face every time they laugh. They are the feeling of falling asleep like slipping into a warm bath and I will love them every day of my life.
Don’t write love letters to fleeting trysts. Consider instead turning around and telling the arms that hold you that you see them - you see them and it is beautiful. Consider that your friends are honestly more than you could ever need.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Don't lie, you jelly of our cute
Me: You are the most wondrous of Margs
Marg: I love you more than cats.
Me: Margs fall at your feet, having swooned at the sight of your glory
Marg: Lol
Me: AWWWW, that's saying something
Me: I, too, love you more than cats AND hedgehogs
And hedgehogs eating carrots
Marg: Baby hedgehogs?
Me: Yep
Marg: Awwdorable ones?
Me: Awwwww
Me: So awwwdorable
Me: http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/kk54/Fromx1stx2xlast/baby-hedgehog.png
Me: I CANNOT BE SWAYED
MY HEART BELONGS TO ANOTHER THINE HEDGIEST OF HOGS
SWINE OF THE HEDGEROW
Which Member of Umbrellastuck Should You Fight?
Ri: Who wins: Ri's hair Neither of you will win. Her hair will swallow you both up, belch out the bones, and then go looking for a proper lunch with hardly a second thought. Don't fight Ri.
Marg: Who wins: Marg Marg specializes in torture, both of the physical and of the emotional kind. Her primary method of defense is her ability to make you cry. If you must fight Marg, wear earplugs, so you cannot hear the things she will whisper to you about how your favorite characters are suffering. But do not fight Marg.
Maria: Who wins: You Maria is easily distracted. If she is getting the upper hand, shape your mouth into an implausible polygon and make funny faces. She will break down into uncontrollable giggles and you will easily be able to take her. Fight Maria.
Jane: Who wins: Jane Jane has spent far too much time learning about organized crime and probably setting up her own crime rings. If you fight Jane, thirty well-trained goons will emerge from the shadows and beat you into a pulp before you even can lay a finger on her. They may also be robots. Don't fight Jane.
Susan: Who wins: You, but is it really worth it? Susan is an actual woodland fairy. Why would you do this? How could you do such a thing?
Mikat: Who wins: Mikat Mikat is /tough/. I heard she once got into a fight with a car. The car is still lying in tatters on roadside somewhere in Ohio, but Mikat, having demolished it and feasted on its flesh, continued west to try her hand against more and more aggressive foes. Mikat will outlast you, and then walk all over you with her nice boots. Do not fight Mikat.
Faith: Who wins: Nobody Faith is a literal ferret. She will escape through the air vents and you will never be able to find her. Only fight Faith if you enjoy wasting your time hunting through every single air vent in the building only to find that she probably just walked out through the front door while you were busy searching. Otherwise, don't fight Faith.
Sonia: Who wins: You She's basically just a hyper five-year-old pretending to be a dragon. Fight Sonia.
Cassie: Who wins: Cassie
Cassie will demolish you. Please fight Cassie. Please. I'll bring the popcorn.