#michael converses

Me: Wait, weird, Ro I'm late too - two days

Avery: Obvious conclusion youre both pregnant on the astral plane

Me: We're both pregnant with each other's awesome

Me: I'm so sorry Ro, you're the gender-nonconforming biological donor

Me: To this canticle of brewing incredibleness, a bastion to your fucking glory that's currently in my ladyparts

Me: And Ro is carrying my glamchild

Me: Ze will come out all technicolor undercut and fierce lipstick, singing the QUEEREST chorus of a Ziggy Stardust song

Avery: will they be any good at singing

Miles: business idea - a half-virtual reality mask. The Monoculus Rift (TM).

Me: A puke with every ride?

Miles: but itd be your most black-tie puke ever

Me: As your cerebellum tries to figure out what the fuck drug you're on?

Miles: also im starting a band

Miles: Black Tie Puke

Me: Excellent

Me: Can I play the virtual pan pipes?

Me: I blow in the air and it autotunes it to something nifty by sensing my intention to be ultracool

Me: Which means I am the MOST hipster and the LEAST useful person on the stage

Miles: as for the genre, im thinking we go "anti-establishment electrodeath post-ballroom"

Me: Oh really? I was thinking deconstructed post-apocalyptic glamrock gypsypunk

Me: Like if david bowie had helmed the titanic in space at the end of time and it'd be his last few sounds as he fell through the atmosphere of a desolate desert planet

Me: Clad entirely in rhinestones

Me: There is a troubling amount of tea silt at the bottom of this pot

S: READ THE LEAVES

S: COULD IT BE

S: THE GRIM?

Me: The leaves, much like my future, are an unhelpful, underwhelming film of mystifying dust

Me: Signifying nothing

Me: The tea is telling me to become an existentialist

Kel: What kind of tea are you drinking

Kel: A cup of Nietzschai?

Me: HEhehehe

"Dis human. Dat one. I think they're a human. Whatever's going on over there is interesting. I kind of just want to sit in the U-bend of their brain matter for a while"

"I want your mind to do dirty things to my mind. Like unbridled conversations about string theory. Shhh, honey, we don't need to hedge. We're past that."

Me: Hey hon

V: Hey!

Me: I have news

Me: So. You like lunch, right?

Me: I mean, I like lunch.

V: I do like lunch :3

Me: Look at that, we both like lunch - we should totally grab some of that like maybe next week or so? When I'm LIVING IN FUCKING PITTSBURGH?

V: YeeEEEESSSS!!!!!!!!!

Me: Guess who got the joooooob

V: WOOOO!!!!!

V: I LITERALLY DON'T THINK ANYTHING CAN BRING ME DOWN TODAY

Me: All I need is to figure out where I want to live and have an uncomfortable conversation with my dad and I am gone, gone, gone.

Me: HEHEHE

Me: Are you walking on star emanated plasma?

Me: Could you be ambulating on sunshine?

V:

Me: I also just said to my friend who is on Mumble "I joke about hardware mutes and regex being my nemesis - really it's future me and past me. Honestly, any iteration of me that isn't current me is just a bitch."

Me: As we were talking about sleep schedules and paper deadlines

Me: To be fair, future me is a sucker, and past me is the incarnation of all evil.

Me: Until it happens that past me cleaned the kitchen, ate less cheese and made it to the gym

Jane: ...have you slept?

Me: ...

Jane: :|

Me: Do job applications count?

Me: Like is data entry sufficiently boring to qualify as REM?