[ 8. ] sender patches up receiver's wounds, hands trembling as they whisper, "you can't keep doing this to me." {... suffer with me... }
gangjae miscalculated . can't say calculation is his greatest skill either , can't say he's good at anything if it involves brains and wit . the new drug he invented was a product of his healthier days , after he became someone important , gangjae wasn't as witty as he used to be β must be the drugs . he was swaying , adrenaline high in his blood , attacking mujin like a rabid dog until jiwoo showed up . and the odds were at his favor , winning against the man he plotted against all his life .. cruel fate hits him right on the face . his ankle was broken , swollen in an ugly bruise , heavily dragging on the ground as he made his way along the mountains and woods . the discreet routes , covered in snow , the snow that his blood painted as he went . choi mujin shouldn't survive his injuries , he thinks . a few times does he fall down , with small groans of agony . two bleeding wounds , the snow was making his fingers feel numb . the last time he fell down , he stayed like that . a tear rolling down his sharp , scratched cheek . staring up at the darkening evening sky , wondering if haneul would think of him as he fell asleep tonight . wonders if he can haunt him , stare at his pretty face one last time and do nothing β like the coward he is .
now that he sees haneul's hands tremble , he knows it's all his fault . how long was he out ? faintly does he recall waking up to see an old man work on his wounds , before his eyes going black again . he remembers haneul's face too , wet and scared , remembers him whisper something .. something .
you can't keep doing this to me .
gangjae acts like he's been waiting for this . blinks with a barely restrained wince , and blinks again knowingly . there's nothing left to say , an apology won't fix this . he doesn't look up from his arm , where haneul is wrapping the bandage around , clean and white one , the dirty ones are tossed in the bin . eventually , he decides to save the other from his misery , reaches out to grab his hand . crumble his elegant fingers gently in his palm , feel them tremble , while gathering the courage to look up into his eyes . they're wet again , gangjae blinks tiredly . he doesn't know what he's allowed to do now , they've been playing cat and mouse for a long time and gangjae feels like a stranger with him . a stranger he ran to when he was dying β didn't even expect to be saved , just wanted to see haneul one last time before he died . his grip loosens , grabbing the end of the bandage to wrap it around his arm himself , jaw set . β i'm fine . β he lies when moving his arm makes him wince again . it was supposed to be a reassuring moment , aiming to soothe haneul but he just sounded mean . he knows , he doesn't know why . so he stops , closes his eyes and eventually lets them connect with haneul's . it's a chore to keep the eye contact . β .. i'm alive . β
* yellow sunrise. accepting
