Because every few weeks i get super gloomy and depressed and tired and stressed and i have a hard time dealing with myself, i dont wanna put that on other people? It just becomes a lot harder to pretend to be enthousiast, to laugh at jokes or make them, and then i start to think that maybe it would be better if i just wasnt there. And its not even in a suicidal kind of way, just in a "i dont want you to have to endure this sad version of me" way and everytime it makes me want to disapear, just stop answering texts and calls and isolate for a bit.