#twweek22

You had made excuses after excuses, but you couldn’t manage to tell her the real reason behind your refusal. The only one that knew was Bella, who could see your melancholic demeanor from a mile away. It wasn’t until one fateful Wednesday that she cornered you in your shared study hall to get to the bottom of your sadness.

“Are you okay?” she blurted. It would have been silly to expect any kind of soft approach from her.

You plastered on a fake smile and attempted to hide your expression by turning back to your open notebook. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? School’s that much closer to being over.”

“And the sun has the Cullens hiding away.”

The Cullens.

Or, more specifically, Bella was pointing out the absence of your Cullen: Edward. You had never thought that a partnered project about The Odyssey would lead you to form such a deep connection with someone, but in each other, you both found a place of solace.

Edward had been a hard person to read with how high his walls were. He was like an impenetrable fortress, and you couldn’t even tell if it was to keep people out or to keep him in. He had even offered to do the project himself to avoid having to listen to your inquisitive thoughts, but you stubbornly refused. From there your forced proximity wore down Edward’s walls bit by bit, and the rest happened the way any relationship would – with the added element of vampirism.

“You and I both know that they have to,” you sighed, relieved to be able to at least talk to someone about your issues. Her friendship with Jacob also made her privy to the existence of vampires, considering the complications between them and the pack. She was really the only friend you could confide in regarding anything supernatural.

“I know…and I know that you’re mopey when he’s not around.” Bella bumped your shoulder with her own, trying to get you to actually look at her.

You bumped her back and chuckled, “Am not!”

“You are too, and I think you should do something about it. It’s not like you haven’t been to their house before.”

“I have, but never without being invited.”

“So?” The bell rang and Bella began packing up her supplies. She slung her bag over her shoulder and got ready to leave, only saying one last thing before she left. “I have to get to my next period, but I say just go over. He can’t be mad about you wanting to see him. He’s your boyfriend.”

Bella’s words lit a fire of indignation inside you. Why had you gone over a week without seeing Edward simply because of a little sun? You were going to march right over there as soon as school let out and demand to know why you hadn’t seen each other.

That is, you were going to do that until you found a piece of paper folded and stuck under your windshield wiper. You surveyed the parking lot carefully but only saw the typical students rushing to their cars at the end of the day. Gingerly opening it, you read the tell-tale writing of Edward.

Meet me at my house. I have something to show you.

Just his writing was making your heart thump, and it made you feel utterly stupid in the best way possible. You threw your bag in your backseat without regard and raced out of the parking lot towards the Cullens’ house. Luckily, none of the police force were out or you would’ve had to explain why you were going twenty above the speed limit in a school zone. Even being friends with the chief’s daughter wouldn’t have gotten you out of that.

As you flew down the road in your car, the trees sped past, and your tires squealed when you peeled into the Cullens’ driveway. You nearly forgot to shut off the car’s engine as you sprinted towards the door.

Alice was already there and opened it for you, a small frown on her face. “You were driving awfully fast.”

“Where’s Edward?” you blurted. When Alice’s frown grew deeper, you nervously began to play with your fingernails. “Sorry, I just…I really need to see him, Alice.”

“He’s up in his room.” She stopped you when you turned to leave with a cold hand around your forearm. It was a gentle grip in contrast to the strength you knew she possessed. “I know it’s hard to remember when you’re surrounded by vampires, but you’re still mortal. Don’t be wreckless.”

Your expression softened at her concerned words and you nodded. “Sorry if I worried you.”

“Well, you’re in one piece, so just make sure you stay that way.” The smile had now returned to her face, and she wordlessly gave her blessing by letting go of you. Alice’s footsteps were light as she skipped further into the house.

As you hurried to his room, your mind was consumed by Edward. He would inevitably comment on your infatuation, as he loved to do so. The one bad thing about him being able to read your mind was that he could always pry into your thoughts when he wanted an ego boost, as then he wouldn’t have to rely on your words alone to convey your feelings for him.

When you arrived upstairs to his room, his door was already ajar, as was his window. He was standing by it and staring out towards the forest surrounding the house. The summer sun streaming through the trees created dapples of sparkles across his skin. Your breath caught in your throat when you saw the sight.

“Do I get to see you or are you just going to oggle me from outside the room?” he teased, not turning around to look at you.

Your face heated up in embarrassment, and you took a few hesitant steps into his room. “What was with the cloak and dagger note? You couldn’t have called?”

“I thought the note would be more…interesting. Considering how fast you got here, I would say you thought so.”

“You’re teasing me an awful lot when I’ve barely seen you,” you pouted. You now stood beside him at the window, searching for whatever he was looking at. There was nothing out of the ordinary, nothing other than trees and the occasional bird. Your eyes moved back to him to get a better sense of where he was looking, but his focus was now solely on you. In an instant, your head snapped back to stare out the window. “See? I’ve got to get used to this again.”

Edward chuckled and held your chin between his thumb and forefinger, guiding you to face him again. “Well, it’s nice to know that I still have an effect. A pretty strong one at that.”

His eyes flitted around your face, searching for something. You knew that look. He was making himself at home in your brain and taking it upon himself to indulge in your thoughts. By the grin that plastered itself on his face, he liked what he had found.

You puffed out your cheeks and swatted at his chest. “No fair! No poking around in my mind like that!”

“Is it because it’s unfair? Would you like me to tell you what I’m thinking to make it up to you?” He leaned in so he was only a few inches away from your face. “Even the playing field a little?”

“Um…” His words and his close proximity made you go dumb, and your entire mouth went dry. You licked your lips to try and introduce some moisture back into them, but your saliva only made it worse.

He ghosted his lips over yours which sent shivers up your spine, and he whispered, “I’ve been thinking about this the whole time we’ve been apart.”

You weren’t sure who made the first move to close the distance, but in a surge, your lips met. The iciness of his skin felt like it was consuming you. You forgot how much you missed the feeling of being close to him until you had been deprived of it for so long. It was so overwhelming that you completely forgot yourself, hungrily trying to get even more of him.

You should have known better because with a sharp inhale, he took a step back with a sharp inhale. “The time we’ve spent apart has made me forget how hard it is to control myself around you.”

“Ditto,” you replied out of breath, although you knew he was talking about a different kind of control. With the space between the two of you now a chasm, it felt a little easier to breathe. You suddenly remembered why he had asked you to come in the first place. “I hope the thing you wanted to show me wasn’t your kissing skills because while I am absolutely not complaining, you didn’t have to create a pretense for that. If you had written a note that you wanted to kiss me, I would’ve raced over here just as fast.”

“I know,” Edward said cheekily.

You shrugged and leaned against the window sill. “Alright, then spill.”

In the blink of an eye, Edward had positioned you on his back, hanging out of the open window. “It would be better if I showed you.”

You couldn’t help but look down below, and your stomach dropped at the height. Your arms wound tightly around Edward’s shoulders as you held on for dear life, trying desperately to keep your grip as he jumped from tree to tree. He moved so fast that the leaves and branches of the forest became blurs of green and brown. You couldn’t say how many times he’d shown how fast he was or how strong he was, but every time felt like the first. It was always so thrilling.

Finally, his journey through the brush came to a slow halt once he had broken free from the tree line. There was a clearing that had a small hill in the middle of it. The trees encircled it like it was a forbidden place for them to grow. Even the noises of the wildlife seemed far away, which made it feel like a pocket of the world where it was just you and Edward.

He gently set you on the ground, and you took a few wobbly steps into the clearing. “Wow. It’s beautiful. Did you find it while you were hunting?”

“I wanted to bring you here as soon as I found it,” he replied, following closely behind you. His hand intertwined with one of your own. “We’ve only been able to see each other at school, but on days like today…”

“We could come here,” you finished with a grin. You felt like you were floating on air as you looked around the clearing. Your very own little paradise to share with Edward. A place that was yours. You spun around and put your arms around his shoulders, playing with his hair. “It’s perfect.”

He placed a small kiss on your lips, much more chaste than the last, and led you to the middle of the clearing. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

Once you got to the middle, just at the top of the slight hill, he gently guided you to lie beside him in the grass. The chill of his body was a welcome contrast to the humidity of the summer weather. You rested your head on his chest to avoid the feeling of the grass against your skin. Despite how much you two had to catch up on, an easy silence stretched between both of you, and you basked in his presence, thankful to finally be near him. The sun set low in the sky and cast a golden border of light around the dark clouds that started to roll in the sky.

“It looks like it might rain,” Edward pointed out, sitting up.

However, you refused to move. “Mhm…let’s just stay until it starts. I don’t want to leave yet.”

Normally, he wouldn’t indulge you. He would insist on leaving so that you didn’t catch a cold or slip and fall. He always was hyper-aware of your humanity and how “fragile” that made you compared to him. However, this time he settled back and brought his arm closer around you.

The clouds rolled above you creating a canopy that the sun cast beautiful colors on, creating a natural light show for the two of you to watch. It slowly grew darker and darker until there was barely a shadow of the clouds against the inky night sky. The nightfall caused you to sit up and dust off, fully ready to make the trek back to Edward’s house and your car, when he tugged on the hem of your shirt to get your attention. He pointed towards the sky again without a word when you looked over.

You looked up and were in awe, and this time you were the one to settle back into your previous position. Although there was no rain, a distant thunderstorm was lighting up the sky in flashes every time lightning striked. The thunder was a gentle and quiet roar when it reached you and Edward. You had seen heat lightning before but seeing it with Edward’s arms around you seemed to make everything look better.

“Wow,” you breathed out in awe.

“Wow is right.”

When you turned your head to look up at him, you found that his eyes weren’t on the sky but on you. They were filled with adoration, a small smirk resting on his lips. A giggle bubbled from you as you hid your face in his shoulder.

“It looks like that storm is moving towards us, so as much as I want to stay here…” Edward picked you up as he stood, holding you close to his chest. “We should get back to the house.”

“I know. I should be getting home too since it’s getting late.”

Like a gentleman, he whisked you back to your car and kept you safe from the rain, and he opened your car door for you. The warmth of your car beckoned you against the chill settling in the evening air due to the impending rain, but you couldn’t manage to bring yourself to separate from who was in front of you. Despite his chilling touch, despite his self-loathing tendencies, despite the contrast between your mortality and his immortality – he was who you wanted to be with until the end. You always had an inkling, but the soft, easy moments like this only made it that much clearer.

“I don’t want to go,” you blurted out.

Edward’s mouth turned up in a rueful smile, amused at your sudden and unimportant confession. “And I don’t want you to, but you have to get some rest for tomorrow.”

“No, that’s not what I meant.” Seeing Edward’s confused and worried expression, you rested your arms around his shoulders to assuage his anxieties. “I meant it in more of a long-term way. I don’t want the time we spend together to be so deliberately orchestrated to avoid it being by happenstance. I don’t mind waking up next to you every morning.”

“Are you…proposing?” And with the way the tone of his voice seemed to waiver, you knew that if he still breathed, the breath would’ve caught in his throat. The vampiric perfection that was always surrounding him crashed down to reveal him in his most vulnerable state. He waited in apprehension for your response.

“Yup. You’re stuck with me, lover boy. Forever.”

His amber-colored eyes lit up with glee, and the dark sky behind him flashed a bright white from the ever-approaching lightning simultaneously. You squealed when his strong arms wrapped around your middle so he could spin you around. As soon as your feet touched the ground again, his lips were attached to yours. Droplets of cold rain fell around you, but neither of you cared about the rain anymore.

However, the moment was abruptly halted when the scenery changed around you in a flash, and you were suddenly sitting on the couch in the Cullens’ living room as Edward draped a blanket over you. “I nearly forgot that you’d catch a cold in that weather.”

You puffed out your cheeks in a pout despite snuggling deeper into the blanket's warmth. “You know, we’ll have to fix this whole ‘sickness’ thing. It’s inconvenient.”

“Believe it or not, Carlisle does that for a living.”

“Haha,” you responded sarcastically to his cheeky comment. “I said forever, and I meant it.”

Edward’s jovial exterior was disrupting for only a moment before he tried to plaster it back on. “Maybe we should just celebrate an engagement right now and worry about everything else another time.”

You were about to argue when a loud clamor from deeper in the house made you startle. Esme and Rosalie were now in the middle of the room grilling you about the engagement they had known nothing about, and Alice stood behind you talking over them about wedding ideas she’d been bursting at the seams to share.

Edward smiled happily to see how well you meshed with his family. It wasn’t perfect (nothing really was), but it was more than he felt he ever deserved. You were more than he deserved. Yet, you wanted to throw away your humanity and devote yourself to him for the rest of eternity. The thought terrified him and instilled a deep sense of guilt, but for now, he would focus on the elation of the love you two shared.

He left in October… It was halfway through March now, and you were finally healing from the pain he caused. “I hate you,” you muttered, but you knew you were lying.

He did too. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, trying to think of a way to make it up to you. “I’m sorry. I expected you to be over me,” he finally admitted. You shook your head.

“What part of forever do you not understand?” you asked, reaching forward to grab his cold hands. You had to make sure he was real.

His grasp firmed around your own hands, holding you tight, as if you would ever leave. “I’ll never leave you again. Ever.” He stared in to your eyes as he said this, and you knew he meant it.

You shifted to sit on your knees, and leaned forward, pressing your face to his neck. He lifted you from the bed, cradling you in his arms. You felt your eyes well up, and your mouth contorted in to awkward shapes until you gave in to your sadness.

“I promise,” he repeated, over and over until your tears finally stopped. You must’ve spent hours in his cold arms, exhausted from the months of pent up sadness. You never wanted to let go, but you had to change in to something warmer.

“I’ll go-” he started, but you cut him off. “You stay, right there. I’ll be back in five seconds,” you told him, grabbing your warmer winter pajamas.

You ran to your bathroom, shimmying out of your day clothes as quickly as you could to get back to Edward. You had to keep him here for as long as you could. You knew he wouldn’t leave again, but that possessive side, that doubting side… It had a firm grasp on you, more than you’d like to admit, and you had given in a long time ago.

There he was, staring at your window. He seemed to have given in too, but to something else. “I’m going to be selfish, now,” he whispered, knowing you were standing in the doorway, admiring him, taking in all his perfections.

“What do you mean?” you asked as you took a seat next to him. He stared at you, and smiled. “I’m going to give you everything you’ve ever wanted. If that means me never leaving you, then I won’t,” he told you, pressing his lips to your forehead.

“I don’t think that’s the right definition of selfish,” you responded, but you were simply happy to have him back.

He was here. 

He gave you a crooked smile, and pulled you down on to the bed, placing you next to him. “I think loving you is the most selfish thing I could do,” he whispered, kissing your cheek.

He was real.

“Consider me selfish too, then. I’ll be selfish forever,” you responded, wrapping your arms around him.

“Forever, then.”