Got triggered by a text from my sister at work on my break and then when I came back I was surrounded by people and a sobbing kid while doing aisle recovery (my biggest remaining trigger is kids crying) and then a man bumped into me really hard from behind and I ended up running to the back and having a shaking + hyperventilating ptsd episode/panic attack in front of my coworker/friend I don't know super super well. And he was so awesome about it and gave me an excuse to hide in the back with him and talked to me about nothing to ground me and told me it was going to be okay, but I am so insanely humiliated. I don't think I've ever been more embarrassed in my life than I am right now. I apologized 100 times and he seemed to be understanding, but I'm home now and genuinely on the verge of tears thinking about how humiliated I am. This has to be the worst possible thing that could have happened to me today and I literally don't know how I'm going to face him again. I shakily explained to him I have severe PTSD and got triggered while I was hyperventilating so bad I was on the verge of throwing up trying to explain, but NO ONE in my life except my two closest friends even knew about that and I usually don't let myself be seen when I'm in a PTSD episode/panic attack EVER. And it has never happened at work before and it hasnt happened that badly in a really long time. I feel so embarrassed and so stupid and so scared to go back to work and show my face again. I fucked up so badly and Im so scared hes never going to see me the same way again. I'm literally supposed to be seen as competent and unbothered and strong but I ruined that all today. Oh my god I don't know what to do or how to fix this. It's so over forever. There's no coming back from how badly I humiliated myself today.
