#twiligt

“I think me kissing you tells you enough about my feelings. And if you are still unsure just use your talent, cowboy.”

Jasper smiled at me with a mischievous grin. “You will never let go of that pet name, don’t you?” I tilted my head and put on an innocent look. “Would you rather have me call you major?”

His eyes darkened, a low growl in his chest. “Don’t do that.” He said letting go of me and rustling a few inches back. As soon as he left me, I felt empty. But keeping my play up I followed up: “Why is that, major.” Now putting a slight moan into his name.

“Y/N, stop.” His teeth were clenched.

“Tell me why, major.” I crawled towards him. “What does this name mean to you?”

“I think you know.”

“Show me. I want to see it.” Loosely I let my fingers wander over his tensed body. Everywhere I touched his skin he shivered.

“No. That’s too dangerous.” He whispered trying to contain himself.

“I trust you, Jasper. You wouldn’t hurt me.” I cued.

“Don’t do that. Just because I can kiss you, doesn’t mean I am safe for you.” His voice was at a drastic down spiral into a growl.

“Please, major.” I keened. A low rumble washed through his chest sending hot waves into my core. And by the way he looked at me, he felt it. His whole demeanor changed from careful to possessive and lustful. But being a Victorian gentleman, he still tried to remain faithful. “Y/N. This is not right. We shouldn’t…”

“Why not?” I asked positioning myself in his lap.

“We have just met.” His arguments went weaker with every second.

“If have slept with people I knew less.” My hands began to open the top button of his shirt. He didn’t stop me, so I kept on going, letting my fingers circle around his marble chest. A low snarl ripped through his teeth at my words.

“Do you not like that thought, major?” I teased.

“You are mine!” He roared standing up and pressing me against the next wall. Out of instinct I hooked my legs around his waist. I tilted my head and pressed my core down on his clothed member. “What was that, major? I didn’t quite understand.”

“You are mine! Nobody gets to touch you!” His hand wandered to my neck forcing me to look at him. “Say it, darlin. Tell me you are mine.”

“I am yours, Jasper. Make me yours, please. I need you.” I whined, desperate for some release. I could feel the tension rising and my core becoming more wet with every passing second.

Jasper had a possessing smile on his face. “You smell even more ravishing when you are aroused.”

I blushed at his words, trying to hide my face, but he had none of that. “Uh, uh. Don’t you dare become all shy now.” He started kissing my chin down to my neck. Opening the buttons of my blouse and pushing it over my shoulders.

Then again without me being able to comprehend his speed, I found myself laid down on the couch, Jasper hovering over me. His experienced fingers undid my bra pulling it and the blouse of my body. He didn’t pay any tribute to my bare breasts kissing me with hunger on his lips. Like it was coincidental his fingers caressed my nipple, bringing me to arch my back.

He let it slide over my stomach, kissing the path down his hands created. Looking for approval in my eyes he waited. His hands resting on the waistband of my skirt. “May I?” I couldn’t do anything more than nod. He pulled the skirt down leaving me bare in my panties. “God, you look so wonderful.” He said. Fingers stroking over my body caressing it, gripping it, like it was his lifeline.

With a soft touch his fingers nestled between my legs, barely touching me through the fabric. “Jasper, please…” My voice cracked at the end and I tried to push myself into his hands wanting more.

“Tell me what you want, darlin.” His head hovering inches over my core. Eyes not leaving mine.

“Touch me, Jasper. I want to feel you. I need… I need you to fuck me, major.”

“Oh god.” He moaned at my words. “Such a good girl begging for me.” His hands ripped my panties apart, not leaving me a second to comprehend, what he just did, before his lips were on my clit.

I jolted at the sensation only being held down by his firm grasp. Circling in sloppy eights his tongue lapped over my core. My hands found his hair, pulling on it. “Jasper!”

He hummed lowly, sending the vibrations directly into my body. Soon one finger followed his lips massaging my insides, slowly stretching me.

“More I need more, Jasper. Please…” I cried out, wanting him to fill me up right here. But he didn’t. At torturously slow speed he added another finger. “No, darlin. I need to prepare you, otherwise it will hurt.”

His fingers started to put more pressure on my upper inner walls, hitting my sweet spot. I felt myself tighten around him in response, letting out the breath I didn’t know I was holding a long time. Adjusting the speed of his tongue and his fingers he started a deathly arousing rhythm. My legs started to shake, as the fire in my core lit up brighter, than it ever has.

I knew I wasn’t going to last long if he kept this pace. But Jasper didn’t seem to mind at all. “Tell me, sugar. Has anyone touched you this good before?” He separated his lips from my clit, replacing it with his thumb. I couldn’t answer, head in the clouds.

“Darlin, answer me.” He cued kissing a trail of wet and cold kisses up my stomach, sucking a nipple into his mouth. I shook my head. “No!” I shouted. I felt him smile, tongue twisting and sucking on my nipple nearly too hard to be pleasurable. A moan fell from my lips and I tried to hold onto something.

“Good. Because you are mine now. I will make you forget every man you ever had. You belong to me, understand?” His possessive nature was breaking through his well kept gentleman attitude.

“Yes, major.” I babbled unable to concentrate my head on a logical train of thoughts. Him openly admitting the possession he felt, the dominance he distributed set me into an unknown headspace. I wanted to be his, be owned by him, be marked by him. Hot waves of lust washing over my body at the thought of him railing me without mercy pushed me to the edge of the cliff.

“Jasper!” I cried out. But I didn’t need to say anything. He already felt it coming.

“Its okay, darling. I got you. Cum for me.”

Without thinking twice, I let go. A hot coil snapping in my abdomen, bright light exploding behind my closed eyes. My body shivered, clenching down on his fingers, back rising from the ground.

“Good girl. Ride it out. Take it slow.” He reassured, massaging me through my orgasm.

When I opened my eyes, I saw him smiling down at me. With mischief in his eyes, he brought his fingers up to his lips taking them in his mouth. He moaned when he tasted me. “You taste so good, darlin.” Licking his fingers clean in the most pornographic way possible he crawled back kneeling between my legs.

Then he removed his shirt and opened his pants. Before he pulled them down, he looked at me. “You still want this? We can stop if it is too much for you.”

“Stop being such a gentleman. I want you to ruin me, major. Make me yours. And I swear to God, if you hold back on me, I will make sure you regret that!” I scolded him with a small smile plastered across my cheeks.

“At your orders, ma’am.” With a swift movement his pants and his boxers were gone, leaving me stunned at his size. I let out a quiet fuck, obviously he heard it, grinning down at me. “You sure you can take that?”

My eyes weren’t leaving his member. It was not oversized, but definitely on the bigger spectrum. A thick shaft, with a light pink tip, leaking precum. As an answer I spread my legs a bit wider, inviting him in.  He let himself sink down on me, holding him up with his arms. With slow movements he coated his cock with my juices, before he slid it in.

He took his time, giving me enough time to adjust to his size. And it was marvelous. The way he stretched my walls was heavenly. The friction nearly making my sensitive pussy come again.

“Fuck, you feel so good, darlin.” He cursed, once he bottomed me out. Waiting a few seconds before he started to move. My head fell back at the sensation. The fire in my core started to light up again, this time spreading all over my body.

His thrusts were gentle and deep, hands and lips wandering over my body, leaving traces of burning skin behind. But I wanted more. I wanted him to go harder, dipping into his dominant side. Me hands wandered to his hair. Pulling on it, forcing him to look at me. “Jasper. I need you to give me more, please.” I begged. “I want to feel, what it means to be yours. Take me harder. Mark me, show me you love me, please.”

A deep groan rumbled through his chest. “Y/N. I don’t know if I can stop if it is too much for you. Don’t make me do things I will regret.” His voice was strained as if he was trying to keep control over something.

“I can take it, Jasper. I trust you. Please.” The last word was nothing more, than a moan ringing through the room, as he hit my sweet spot at the perfect angle. This seemed to spur him on, because his thrust became harder. “God, darlin. You will be the death of me.” He cursed.

Taking my hands out of his hair he pinned them down above my head with one hand. The other placed around my neck forcing my head backwards, giving him free space to kiss. Like his thrusts his kisses were rougher. Sucking on my skin, biting down, careful not to break skin. I was sure he would leave hickeys, but I didn’t care. It felt far too good to think about the consequences of tomorrow.

He was now plowing into me like his life depended on it. Clearly testing out my limits, waiting for my response, for my rejection, but that never came. I was melted wax in his hands. Taking everything, he was giving to me, desperate for more. And he knew it. He felt the heat pooling between my legs, felt my body shivering under his touch, my walls clenching down on his cock.

Another orgasm was approaching at a fast pace, luring me into the abyss. I arched my back. “Jasper!” I cried out, letting the orgasm hit me with full force, making me a trembling mess underneath him. His lips on my ear he started to praise me: “Such a good little girl. Taking me so well. How does it feel to cum around my cock?”

I didn’t answer, caught up too much in my headspace. A soft slap on my cheeks pulled me back to reality. “Answer me, sugar.”

“Good. It feels so good, major. Please. Don’t stop.” I begged trying to free my hands, wanting to touch him. But his grip was firm keeping me in place.

“Do you want me to give you another one?” He teased slowing down in his pace.

“Yes!” I moaned. “Yes, I want to cum again. Please, let me.”

He hummed in pure arousal. “Are you so desperate for me, darlin? Tell me, how long has it been, since you felt so good?”

“Too long.” I answered, hooking my legs around him to get him to move faster.

As if he knew it, he started to pick up his pace again, attacking my neck again with his lips. “I want to fill that pretty pussy up, when you cum.” He whispered in my neck. “Can I do that?”

I arched my back, grinding my back to get more friction. “Yes, major. I want you to cum inside of me, please.”

I felt the edge coming towards me again. Jaspers free hand now between us, rubbing my clit. “Good girl. Don’t hold back. Let me hear you, when you cum.”

And at those words I fell. My orgasm hitting me hard and fast. I screamed his name, when washed over me. He let go of my hands steadying him on the wall behind me. My hands flew to his shoulders trying to hold on, nails piercing into his skin without any effect. My whole body was shaking and I gripped his cock tightly sending him over the edge too. With a loud roar I felt his dick spasm inside of my coating my walls with his seed.

1. bella calls them by their first names, but only in internal narration. 

most teenagers don’t call their parents by their first names, so this is odd and distances the reader from her. i’m not sure if it’s supposed to humanize her parents?

her parents would be humanized if they were acknowledged by the role they’re supposed to be playing in bella’s life; most of her readers would be seeing her as The Typical Teenage Girl, so having her parents be seen as entities separate from her who operate as peers instead of parents is bizarre. 

furthermore, she never does this in dialogue. she only does it in internal narration. 

so is this supposed to make her seem more mature and independent? bella isn’t independent; she’s provided with all her needs by her father, including emotional needs. when edward leaves her in the second book, her father takes care of her and ultimately considers having her go back to live with her mother again, because clearly bella is in need of some parental support. put a pin in maturity, i’ll get back to that in a second. 

if it’s not to make her seem more mature, then it’s just a weird stylistic choice so that the reader knows her parents’ names, which - why? i’m sure when chief swan is talking to his friend and his friend calls him charlie, we will understand through context clues that his name is charlie. also, us knowing her parents’ names doesn’t add anything to the story. bella treats every side character as an obstacle in her life, so we gain nothing from knowing her dad’s name. 

it makes sense for her to call her stepfather phil, but she should call her parents mom and dad. 

2. bella is “super mature” 

ouch! i pricked my finger on the pin i put in maturity. yowie!

we hear a lot about how mature bella is. she condescendingly tells us that her mother is stupid and describes her father’s inability to feed himself. is this true? 

her mother got married and has begun a life with her new husband. her father is a grown-ass man who has kept himself alive for what, forty years? they never do anything particularly immature except one time stephenie meyer has her dad accidentally microwave a can of soup at some point (has he never had soup? in the whole decade since he and renee got divorced, has he been soupless the entire time?). i don’t know that fucking up a can of soup is immature so much as a mistake, but go off i guess. 

so maybe she’s not more mature than her parents, but surely she is just mature in her own right. let’s see all the mature decisions bella makes just in the two years we are present for. 

bella gets a head injury in a car accident. she resists the advice she receives from a medical professional to rest, and plans on not telling her mother about it. she’s even pissed at her dad when he tells her mom. 

bella meets edward and senses from the jump that he’s lying to her. he gives her mixed signals that make her uncomfortable. he and many people in his life talk often about how he could kill her, how much he wants to kill her, but that he is holding back. she decides that she is safe based on her own feelings (she is objectively incorrect about this, by the way, regardless of how her story ends) and chooses to date him anyway.

bella catches the attention of a man who wants to kill her specifically. she does not tell her father. instead, she insults him and runs away from home. she then runs away from the people who are assigned to protect her, because she believes she knows better than they do. 

edward breaks up with bella. i think most people after the ending of a relationship would go to their room and cry and process those feelings of sadness and abandonment. but bella’s not like other girls. she’s mature and has deep emotions. she refuses to accept the breakup and spends hours wandering around in the woods, forcing everyone in her town to go around in the night looking for her. okay. 

she gets a part-time job at some point. but so does her classmate mike, and also 55% of teenagers in her age range (when the book is set, which is in the mid-to-late 90′s). 

oh, but wait, then she withdraws all her savings and uses them to purchase and fix up a motorcycle - a thing she is specifically not allowed to do - in order to spite her ex boyfriend. at this point she has abandoned her plans to become a vampire, so there’s no reason to assume she won’t be going to college in a couple years. with what savings will she be paying the tuition? i’m sure her school counselor will understand when she explains that she spent it all on a motorcycle. 

we are told bella is very mature and stephenie meyer clearly expects us to draw this conclusion based on how bella does her chores without being asked; but when it comes to major decisions about her safety, her future, and the effect she has on others, she repeatedly makes selfish and childish decisions. she hurts her parents, her friends, and herself, a lot. she does all of this based on her own intuition.

and actually, a lot of it tracks with her being a teenager. teenagers are not adults. they biologically do not yet have the full capacity for decision-making. that’s why they’re not adults. bella is not more mature than her parents and her belief that she is is demonstrably dangerous. she really needs more discipline in her life. 

3. bella and her mom

bella is very sad in the beginning of the book. she loves her mom and sees her mom as her best friend. 

she demonstrates her closeness by: 

lying to her mom that she wants to live with her dad, because she believes renee will be happier without bella, her supposed best friend. renee does not notice that bella has lied or question this decision. 

putting off emailing or calling her mom for several days, which makes renee angry. when she finally does, she basically just lists the things she’s done and logs off. 

refusing to share information with her, including that she was injured in a car accident, because she believes renee will be upset. her dad calls renee anyway, and bella is angry and is incredibly reluctant to call her back and talk to her. 

ignoring her emails for months when she’s sad over her breakup. 

visiting her exactly one time in the whole two years spanned in the books. her mom is also never invited to come visit bella in forks. 

renee’s absence from bella’s life actually works for the plot, as she can’t interfere with bella’s duplicity, while leaving the option to add an element of guilt from afar. but it doesn’t make sense as a character decision. 

i think it would make way more sense if bella and her mother aren’t close. bella wants her mom to show interest in her life. she suggested moving in with her dad in the hopes that her mom would be like, “no, honey, stay, i’ll miss you if you go,” but renee doesn’t even question it, she just books her a ticket. 

bella checks her email immediately when she arrives, and hasn’t heard from her mom, so she sends her an email herself, to which she gets a response like, two days later. 

bella calls her mom and gets her answering machine. renee is on her honeymoon and she and her new husband are in the process of moving to another state, so bella reasons that her mom is just busy; but she is also dealing with the knowledge that she’s just not a priority for her mom. 

yeah, this is very sad and makes renee seem like an asshole, but maybe she is an asshole in this version. it would neatly remove renee from the plot, it would explain why bella is so bummed about living with her dad, and it would lay the groundwork for why bella is so gutted when she perceives edward breaking up with her as being abandoned. bella believes she is not worth staying for. 

4. bella and her dad

i don’t even know where to start with bella and her dad. he seems great to me. 

he is the chief of police.

he knows and is respected by everyone in town.

he has friends and hobbies. 

as i said before, he has fed and clothed himself his whole life - at the very least in the decade since his divorce.

...so he seems like a reasonable person and member of the community. 

he treats bella with respect and offers her privacy, but he is always available when she needs help.

he notices and tries to intervene when she’s struggling. 

he has an amicable relationship with his ex-wife and they communicate about their daughter regularly. 

he bought bella a truck and put chains on the tires so that it would be safe for her even when it’s cold and wet out. 

...so he’s clearly an involved and caring father. 

bella goes through a serious depressive episode in new moon after her breakup with edward, and her dad responds to every bit of it. 

he wants to find out why she is upset. 

he is aware of how she’s doing in school and whether or not she’s seeing her friends. 

when bella has night terrors, he jumps out of bed to comfort her. 

when jacob deliberately lashes out at her and triggers another depressive episode, he immediately steps in and calls jake’s dad. 

he is told bella is at fault, but he takes bella’s side and chooses to believe her side of the story. 

throughout her depression, he never once judges her for it. 

after what he perceives to be edward hurting bella and being a bad boyfriend (which - he is observably not wrong about that), bella’s dad is openly against bella dating him again. 

...so he cares for and advocates for bella’s emotional state. 

if bella expresses gratitude or appreciation for any of these things, it’s sort of bitter and backhanded, like “at least charlie leaves me alone.” he fucked up trying to make dinner one time, to which she responds by refusing to let him cook ever again. bella dates edward twice before eclipse, and both times she went missing and then came back injured; so chief swan tells her he doesn’t think she should be dating edward again, at which point she puts down ultimatums and threatens to leave. bella ignores his rules and requests, keeps secrets from him, and runs away from home a few times because she believes she knows better than he does. 

no matter how many times charlie proves himself, it never changes bella’s opinion of him. there’s no arc there. bella arrives thinking her father is incompetent, and she leaves thinking her father is incompetent. 

making bella disrespect her father does benefit the narrative by enabling her to be secretive and makes her feel even more isolated in her experiences. it also makes stephanie have to write about less characters. but bella being secretive and isolated just results in her being stuck in the same situation for like 75% of each book. i think it would make sense for her to want to fix things, even just a little bit. 

there’s no reason for her to disrespect charlie, so her unfounded feelings of disdain toward him are confusing and just make her look like a dick; and furthermore, not giving him a character arc just makes him a boring obstacle. he might as well just be a door that gets stuck shut whenever it rains. 

i think it would be a better idea, for character development, for bella to grow closer to her father over the course of her stay with him. i would like, at least two of the times bella disobeys him, for her to ultimately conclude that he was right and she shouldn’t have done the thing. i would like her to eventually open up to him about some things. 

she doesn’t have to share that the cullens are vampires, but of all the people in her life, who has experience with having a romantic partner with whom he envisioned a future break up with and leave them? it would make sense for her to confide in him - or at the very least, seek comfort from him. 

bella trusting her father’s judgment and showing caution dating edward again after the events of new moon would also be better for the story, and i have more thoughts about that but that’s for another post. 

and probably biggest of all, your only tenuous link to emotional acceptance and fulfillment should not be your romantic partner. that’s so weird and unhealthy. bella is a teenager who, in general throughout the books, feels unmoored and stressed out. she needs someone sturdy and reliable who she can trust to protect her, even if it’s only emotionally. this would also give bella someone to bounce her thoughts and feelings off of and reduce the monotony of the narration a little bit. 

her father is an excellent choice for that. he repeatedly demonstrates that he is in her corner, and her corner alone. (i also think vampires should be just a little bit easier to kill, so that chief swan can protect her just a tiny bit.) 

5. why

stephenie meyer has children herself and it’s so weird to me that she would write a teenager deliberately disobeying and lying to her parents and consequently placing herself and many other people in grave danger, and framing it as a good thing. she makes it clear that bella was correct in doing this. 

bella’s not the only one, either. edward allegedly sees carlisle as his father figure, but A. this was not consensual, and he is frequently unhappy that carlisle bit him and made him a vampire; and B. he often disregards or gets angry about carlisle’s advice. 

wouldn’t stephenie meyer want to know if her son was hurting, or in danger? wouldn’t she want her son to respect her? wouldn’t she want to be able to share her wisdom and help her son make safe choices?

she does make it clear in interviews that this is pretend and she doesn’t believe readers should be seeing her characters as role models; but she made her characters teenagers on purpose, and it strikes me as kind of irresponsible to act as if she assumes her young readers won’t try to identify with them.