#twilight commentary

Oh really, I never would have guessed.

What the fuck does that even mean?

I want a gay version of twilight, like the exact same story but gay.

Well at least we know where she gets her awkwardness from

Is that a genuine reaction

I wish she hit you harder with that door.

Go away eric

Go away mike

Go away jessica

That wasn't even funny

ANGELA, ANGELA MY LOVE

Oi don't be mean to her bitch

EMMETT!!!!!!!!!

Lol, he does

Ranga ew

POLY RELATIONSHIP WITH EM & ROSE

This is still so fucking funny

He's not even trying to hide it

You're creeping everyone out

Bitch

Sorry, I was eating

Hes offended

Have you ever spoke to a woman ever?

I'm gonna die of a cringe attack

lol

Fucked with a capital ph

CARLISLE

OM MY GOD

AHSGFDHGDCHGD

HES SO HOT

GASLIGHTING, HES GASLIGHTING HER

Creeper

I need more Angela fics

or polyam twilight fics

or Leah

Your mom, is in Jacksonville

I'm very disapointed in his lack of telling believable lies.

exactly

can you be anymore cryptic

Angela, you deserve better than that b, date me instead

you caught that huh? shut up

wait, who are they supposed to be?

black eyed peas (iykyk)

any colour is your colour babes

stalker alert

jesus christ, who taught you to drive

PLEASE, ANGELA GIVE ME A CHANCE

shut up so i can hear the music

i'm sorry but this feels so forced

i hate the d word but when i see Carlisle thats all i can think about

say it. outloud. say it.

i literally just started sings shine bright by Rihanna

dramatic ass

fuck off

this is why I've always preferred your brothers or the wolves

oh, the big H word

that man is an 100 year old virgin, I've got more game then him and i hate men, and have so many mental illnesses that prevent me from talking to people i don't know

you look like a douchebag

loooooooooooser

ew

EMMMY

lol

tbh, none of them are really hot until the last two movies

I'm going to throw you across the room

ew

*snort*

this is worse then how they run in teen wolf

ew stop

creeper

gasp like a Victorian lady

*gags*

please stop

i want to make fun of you, but i am too

what have you never been touched by a woman before?

Carlisle give her your scarf, scent her and they wont smell her, have you never read anything ever?

you little bitch

that was to far

awe poor Charlie

EMMMY

sup ugly`

just kiss already, jeez

i recognize that voice

you've had like 5 convos, you're not in love

this is the most codependent relationship I've ever seen in my life

get your toxic masculinity outta here bitch

man, you look like your gonna hurl

do vampires cry venom?

Link to the Video

Link to My Response to the Video (You need to scroll down till you see me. I also comment under the actual video, you may have to scroll down for that, too.)

Brief Summary of My Thoughts:

While the commentator has a good observation of the economic divide between the Cullens and the newborn vampires/why Victoria chose them, thus opening up a discussion about how Meyer creates some questionable settings (the suggested classism of this novella), if you’re commenting or criticizing a thing, at least read carefully.

The whole Jacob vs Edward thing? Icky.

Okay I don’t know how to answer correctly or I guess phrase it correctly but like I don’t hate twilight. I just don’t like Edward and Bella. Or romantic affections. Or breaking and entering.

I have to say this: the intro feels different while sober and it makes this movie seem like it’s going to be so much better than it actually is. I also just realized it represents what Bella can see as she wakes up (like the details and the fact that it’s like red fading to white, the symbolism). 

I really thought I could get through this sober, but I have to fast forward through the *mpr*nt*ng plot shit. It’s so awful. The way Emmett smirks while saying “this should be good” is iconic though and I love him in this movie lmao.

Another quick side note: Rosalie looks so happy holding Renememe and it’s so cute. 

When Emmett says, “WoW dOnE aLrEaDy? BrEaK a LoT oF sTuFf?” Iconic. Carlisle just shakes his head in shame. He knows there’s no stopping Emmett.

Another quick side note: Charlie really did deserve better. I’m happy Jacob did what he did and I hope Sue eventually told him the whole truth.

Emmett taunting Bella and calling her tame. They’re about to fight. I love when he cracks his knuckles and just carries that big boulder lmao.

Okay but they’re all laughing together in this scene and it’s such a cute little family moment.

Kristen Stewart is genuinely such a great actor and I’m glad she’s had a successful career post-Twilight. She deserves that shit.

Aro is also great in this movie. I still hate the monarchy, but his overdramatic ass is everything lmao.

Emmett’s ready to throw hands, but Carlisle and Edward’s pacifistic asses won’t let him.

See. I really hate how smeyer couldn’t be consistent with anything. The Denali family and the Volturi would’ve heard Renemeem’s heartbeat and known she was part human. 

Finally Garrett’s here so shit’s about to get good.

“I hated the first British invasion. I hate the second one even more...old habits die hard.” A FUCKING ICON. 

High key though: smeyer was FUCKED UP for having all the vampires go to the Cullens’ house when the vampires are what cause the wolves to shift. 

I love how Kate just grabs Bella’s hand with no warning to prove that she’s a shield lmao.

Garrett’s taunting Kate because he wants her. She calls him weak. Carlisle warns him not to do it. He touches her hand anyway and falls on his ass. He’s in love. I want a man to love me the way Garrett loves Kate. He respects how powerful she is and that’s a big part of why he loves her. I love this ship. 

Vladimir and Stefan are here. I love them because they hate the crusty ass monarchy too. I wish they would’ve taken the Volturi down at the end of this book/movie.

“That didn’t take much” he’s so ready to fight and I wish smeyer would’ve let a bitch.

I hate the Volturi so much. They’re just awful. Funny sometimes, but absolutely horrible. It’s a dictatorship/monarchy where they’re all the dictators. 

I just noticed for the first time that Emmett’s fiddling with the baseball in this scene. He’s ready to fight. 

Garrett is so impressed by everything Kate does. 

“Dude you’re not motivating her.” “You wanna try?” Emmett just puts his hands up in surrender because he’s not down to clown.

Emmett’s so proud of his sister. He and Garrett just stare at each other like the bros they are. 

“I’m good.” He trusts Bella’s shield more, but he’s still not down to clown.

I just noticed that in the scene where Renememe jumps into Edwards arms, Kate and Garrett are talking in the corner and he tries to lowkey have his arm around her and it’s cute.

“Name any American battle. I was there.” “I came this close to biting Custer.” He used a racist term though (I didn’t catch it when I drunk-watched the movie) which is unacceptable. Jacob glared at him, as he should. Even Garrett’s ass is problematic. Could smeyer do right by any character? The answer is no. Kate points out at this point he didn’t win every battle and I’m glad she kicked his ass down a notch after what he said. It’s what he deserved.

Vladimir and Stefan have been waiting to take out the Volturi and I wish they would’ve.

Ooooh this is the part where Edward thanks Carlisle for his life because he loves his wife and daughter so much and it’s so precious.

“If we live through this, I’ll follow you anywhere, woman.” As I’ve said, I want to be loved like this.

“The redcoats are coming! The redcoats are coming!” lmao that shit gets me every time.

The smirks on Vladimir’s and Stefan’s faces; priceless.

Carlisle’s wearing his old Volturi vest and we love to see it. I wish it would’ve been a power move instead of a pacifistic one.

This is so fucking dumb. They could’ve all heard her heartbeat. Smeyer has no consistency.

The way Aro says Bella’s name is so creepy.

Emmett’s done playing. He’s stepping up to the front lines with his sister and niece. 

Aro’s laugh though. Iconic. Hilarious. Oscar-worthy.

Fast-forwarding the battle because I’m here to laugh, not cry.

The Volturi are such bitches, Caius especially.

I wish Vladimir and Stefan would’ve attacked. They knew.

Aww everyone’s so happy and in love. This is why I love this series. Simp ass hoes fandom for life.