#twc thoughts

Thinking about Ophelia gradually smiling more in his presence - only when it's the two of them, of course. It starts out small with a slight uptick at the corner of her mouth. Then a small smile that flashes then fades. Then, finally, a full smile, sincere and excited. (It's the car that does it (God, she loves classic cars.))

Thinking about her accidental slide into a love triangle, with Nate being the only one she liked when they first met, the one who ignited that unfortunate spark she tried so hard to deny. But Adam, once his brashness faded into safe mundanity, once he accepted her as a member of his team, became an anchor in the storm. A safe haven amid the chaos. He doesn't push her boundaries or say those uncomfortably emotional things that make her insides crawl.

Thinking about Nate hearing the rarest of sounds - Ophelia's laughter - faintly from a distance and following it to find Ophelia and Adam sitting on the living room couch together, each on opposite ends but their bodies turned toward each other, heads leaning inward, bright smiles on their faces as Ophelia tells a story from her youth - the same youth she'd told Nate she didn't want to talk about. It's not a raucous joy that lights their faces. It's quiet. Understated. But it cuts deep and to the quick. Because Nate has never made her smile like that, has never even seen her smile like that. And though he vows to earn that smile, the trickle of dread has reached levels deep enough to drown in. And he surely hates deep waters.

Thinking about Ophelia trying to walk away from both of them, only to keep being pulled into their orbits. Of wishing she could. Just. Stop. Feeling. At least she had never let her guard down, always sliding out of those tense moments before anything could happen. She'd never promised either of them anything - no kisses or dates and certainly no relationships. It would be better for everyone if it all just stopped.

I will not shut up about how much I love bff!M in general, and I just have many many thoughts that are specifically about having M as a bff while on an N route

N and M are complements and foils to each other in so many ways and it’s amazing

like I think N sometimes gets... caught up in their feelings and doesn’t really give the detective their due, like that argument A and N had in book 2 where they forget to consider what the detective wants wrt research or combat, or in that spoiler snippet from Mishka’s asks where it reads like they haven’t even considered the detective might not actually want N to, you know, die for them because they will do anything to protect them

and bff M will counter that, M who is all about respecting people’s autonomy

the best example of this is that moment in the book 3 demo where M tells N to stop worrying so much about the detective, that they’re tougher than N gives them credit for

and M standing up for the detective is great no matter the route you’re on, of course, but the sheer weight that exchange has on an N route—you have M telling N, who is being all protective and worried, “hey, your partner, this person you’ve been going all heart eyes about and talking about how much you care about them and all? you should be giving them more credit and believe in them more, because they’re more capable than you think”

i will just never get over it