#twabortion

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Landgraab Mansion, Oasis Springs 5:50 pm

Nancy: I can’t believe this. You disobeyed us, snuck around behind our backs, had woohoo outside of marriage, and knocked up this... this heathen slut!

Johnny: Watch it. You don’t get to talk to her like that.

Nancy: I can say what I like. Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy Watcher giveth thee.  Exodus 20:12.

Geoffery: Let me cut to the chase. I’ll give you each 10,000 simoleons if you abort the little half breed, sign a nondiscosure agreement, and never see each other again.

Johnny: You know what, dad? FUCK YOU!!

My office is almost entirely conservative white men (I myself am a white christian male, I just follow the bible telling me to have empathy more than the church telling me who deserves my empathy) so most of the time when folks start talking politics around me I just ignore them or put in my headphones or something. 

But today, some of the Good Ol’ Boys were gathered near my cube going on about Roe, and, for some reason, after about the 4th or 5th repetition of ‘it’s nothing to do with abortion, it’s just returning state’s rights. and if a lady doesn’t like it, she can always move!’ something in me snapped.

“Can you afford to just up and move a couple states over right now? Do you have that money?” “Well, no” “So if they passed a law saying all bearded men have to be gay, what would you do?” (obvs all the Good Ol’ Boys have big bushy beards and are slightly homophobic) “Well I’d tell ‘em to fuck off!” “So, you wouldn’t just find a way to move if they passed a dumb law about your body?” “That’s different, there’s a choice involved. She can just be smart about it if she doesn’t want to take the risk.” “Yeah, and you could shave your beard. ‘Sides, what if she got raped? What if the pregnancy could kill her? How much choice is that?” “Well, see, that’s different, because of course there should be exceptions blahblahblah

Back and forth, I kept bringing up basic logic and he kept shifting his point and having nothing to back up his stance.  It’s super easy to poke holes in any stance an anti-abortionist might take, I know, because I used to believe that abortions should only be allowed with strict limitations.  What those limitations should be shifted several times over the years, because I’d get to a very clear and concise definition of exactly when abortion is, or is not, acceptable, and then I’d explain this to a woman in my life, and she would (usually very patiently) explain why my reasoning is nonsense and some of the very obvious things I was overlooking, at which point I’d revise my idea and come up with a new definition. After so many times of being proven wrong, I gave up and decided that I, as a man, can’t actually understand the topic well enough to set limitations.  If you look at it objectively, there’s just no way to draw a clean line between ‘necessary’ and ‘immoral’ abortions that doesn’t hurt the women with legitimate need for an abortion, and there’s no method of limiting ‘immoral’ abortions that won’t also limit access to the ‘necessary’ ones. 

Post-Abortion Memorials: a personal story 

 One of my favorite pro choice blogs, pro-choice-and-pro-voice received an ask regards to the limited ability to take the remains for burial and how they had wished they had that ability. Paige was awesome and listed off a few ways to memorialize the experience. I didn't want to reblog since some of what I have pictured may be a trigger for people who have had abortions, so I'm making a blog instead. 

 This is Elliot's memory box, just one of the ways I've memorialized my experience. Currently in it is the paperwork regarding my abortion (what to expect, the bill stub, etc), a confirmation of pregnancy from the crisis pregnancy center I went to when I couldn't believe the two tests I took, confirmation from the OBGYN I saw before I made my decision to terminate, letters, a onesie that had been worn by both of Silly Boy's kids, the hat & blanket I got from the CPC, a St. Nicholas prayer card and mini rosary (from Silly Boy's wife), the Oragami Owl locket I made, my ultrasound & pregnancy test (tucked in the hat because I know it's a common trigger), and most recently added a healing prayer. The locket has a "yellow" ribbon for Silly Boy's military service, the moon and star representing placing him the stars (yes, I'm aware it's most commonly associated with Islam but is not solely an Islamic symbol so I felt comfortable adding it), blue foot prints, In Memory Of, Mom, a peridot colored heart stone for his due date, piano representing Silly Boy, hummingbird representing Wifey, and a maple leaf since my nickname in Idaho was "the Canadian" due to MN's proximity to Canada & similarities in speech. Naming Elliot was a memorial in itself, as explained before. Lastly, I have a tattoo of an elephant with a heart shaped balloon. Inside the balloon is the outline of a forget me not. I'm not particularly religious, but I do find comfort in prayer.