#turdly

The days have become long a dreary since Osha evolved.

I followed Cheren into Wellspring Cave to fight some Knights and reclaim the little girl's Pokemon. On the way out, I ran into a Roggenrola whom I caught. I call him Ozzie. It hasn't been easy welcoming him to my party. He's got a face that looks like a cat's butt. Lemon and Osha keep their distance but Turdly seems to have made a good friend in Ozzie.

Cheren brought the little girl's Pokemon back to her and she cried tears of joy. Even through her happiness, I feel a sense of foreboding hanging in the air. It didn't help to have Cheren breathing down my neck either.

I headed down Route 3, making my way to Nacrene City, the city of artists they say. More like the city of hipsters. Everywhere I turn there's another 20-something in their renovated warehouse drinking PBR and talking about their poetry.

While looking for the gym, I stumbled upon a quaint little museum, a welcome breath of fresh air in this city of "modern art". As I stepped into the museum, some dude in a lab coat grabbed me by the arm and started dragging me around showing me different exhibits.

Right as I was about to reach for my rape whistle, he brought me up a flight of stairs and presented to me the entrance to the gym.

"The Pokémon Gym is just beyond here. At the end of the Gym, a very strong and kind Gym Leader is waiting. By the way, the Gym Leader Lenora happens to be my wife!"

REALLY, DUDE? Does your wife know you drag young, helpless women around your museum by force? Jesus.

I catch my breath and sort myself out before leaving the gym, determined to find a fighting Pokemon to take on Nacrene City's normal-type gym leader.

The next route leads me towards the Pinwheel Forest and before I step in, I stop outside in the clearing to walk through the grass in hopes of finding a fighting dynamo.

BAM! Lemon is attack from behind!

This is it. I think to myself. A fighting master! I subtly pull a Pokeball from my belt and turn towards the attacker.

A wild..........TYMPOLE.

I stand still, shocked, for a split second and then -

"LEMON! DOUBLE SLAP!"

Lemon slaps the shit out of the Tympole, but he's a fighter, a soldier and he rises again with fury in his eyes and sends out a menacing Bubblebeam attack at Lemon.

Lemon is hit hard. But he knows he can finish this.

"LEMON! POUND!"

Lemon leaps into the air and come down hard on the Tympole, who staggers back. I can still see the fight in his eyes. Mentally, he is ready for more, but physically.....he knows he has lost.

I whip the Pokeball from my fingertips and it hurdles towards the Tympole.

1 click.......2 clicks.......3 clicks.......CAUGHT!

I pause for a moment. This is not the fighting Pokemon I was looking for. The gym leader in Hipsterville will be no easy task now.....yet, I feel a connection to this new Pokemon. He's a fierce warrior, even his his small round form. I like the fire that I see in his eyes.

I decide that this new addition to my team will be my secret weapon, a true soldier, and I will raise him to be a fierce Seismitoad. And so I call my new secret weapon Secret and introduce him to the rest of the gang.

Osha and Secret pal up right away, playfully squirting water gun and a bubblebeam gently at each other. I can tell Lemon respects his tenacity as well. Turdly, understandably, is nervous around him. He clutches his flaming tail warily after seeing the power of Secret's Bubblebeam. Ozzie just stands this like a stupid little rock with a butthole for a face.

High on my new catch, I walk farther through the grass towards Pinwheel Forest and encounter a wild Throh.

Ahhhh, I chuckle to myself, There's the fighter I was looking for.

I send Osha out for a few hits, but Throh weakens him considerably. This karate master is powerful. I lazily send out Turdly, overconfident in my ability to overcome this fighting giant.

Then....in the blink of an eye....Throh sends out a blinding ring of energy. He had been biding his time, storing it up. I had not been paying enough attention, so confident in my stand out team.

"NO! TURDLY!" I shout, but it is too late.

Turdly, that little monkey that I had grown so fond of despite the pile of fire poop on his head. Turdly, the little monkey gifted to me before my first gym battle. Turdly, my first new friend after the pain of losing Winston.

He faltered, stumbled backwards, as the energy hit him square in the chest. As he fell to his knees I ran towards him, scooping him into my arms. The Throh approached, readying himself for another attack.

"OSHA! RAZOR SHELL!" I screamed through my tears.

Osha responded with lightning speed, and the Throh was thrown back, fainting hard in the dust.

I cradled Turdly, wiping away my tears.

"Turdly," I whispered, "Let's get you back to the Pokecenter." But I knew it was too late. Turdly was gone.

I stood up, looking towards Pinwheel Forest's great towering trees. Winston's sweet face flashed in my mind. Not again, I thought to myself. I rolled Turdly's Pokeball in my fingers for a moment, then decidedly clicked the button. Turdly's limp body floated into the ball, and I strapped him back to my belt.

Secret, small but so fierce, nuzzled my ankles and looked up into my eyes.