#tumblrian

(not OP)

BUT ITS BEEN 12 YEARS AND IVE COME FULL CIRCLE

NO REGRETS, ACTUALLY

embrace your cringe

Desired by many but loved by none

Only if she could still feel love

Waited for the right person to come

But what she didn’t know was that

There was no one waiting for her

She cried herself to sleep thinking that

One day there will be happiness for her

Someone who would not let eyes go dry

Someone who would live for her smile

Someone who would carry her heart

Someone who wasn’t her

I didn’t know it will be the last day we met

i couldn’t even remember how we met

all these days spent together

will now be forgotten as if it was a lifetime ago

i hope you remember the one person

who was yours no matter how bad life get

but what she didn’t realize that it was their last day together

I would have said all what i wanted to

but instead I smiled so bright my sorrow didn’t even show

my eyes were dry but my heart was weeping all along

Hey! I am Mehan, I chose that name specifically because sometimes I wish I had a twin brother with that name or any sibling. That names sounds like the name would have been given to my sibling if my parents decided to have anymore kids but anyways they didn’t so I got stuck to make an imaginary brother who nobody knows about but is always referred to in my diaries and that is why this blog is in that name. Why MEHAN you might think, I might not know the significance of that name but I do know that it is dear to my heart. As of now I am 20 years old being a 90’s child but we all know that kids born in the years 97’-03’ are just a weird bunch because we don’t fit in either of our respective era’s.Mostly I am a chill sorta person but according to my friends I am the most dramatic person they know and I think all the fandoms I am in and the amount of tumblr I use is to blame for that.

Just the normal amount of depressed kid with super anxiety and trust issues, some might say borderline anger issues but I don’t think I have anger issues just a low tolerance for stupidity. If I were to describe my personality through an animal it would probably be a cross of hell hound and a unicorn, which describes me perfectly because both of them are fictional or fake as people say but those who believe will realize the wonders of having an overly active imagination. I am the most fake person ever according to me as I tend to have different personalities with different people. It’s nerve wracking sometimes but that’s the only way I know to not get attached if i don’t let people see the real me.

3

Amazon prime is doing some great shows I must say, I don’t know if it is just the indian platform or they really are making some quality content because I’m loving it. Which takes me to the reason today that is the show “MADE IN HEAVEN“ which sounds too cheesy and I went straight in it without even watching the trailer and I liked the show, don’t know about the ending but I do want to watch the next season.

I know how hard it is to live a closeted life and it sucks if someone invades your privacy because coming out of the closet is my call and my alone no one gets to tell me how i get to do it and when. We might have had section 377 De-Criminalised now but we still have people who hate on us and call unnatural and all sorts of things. It will take a lot of time for people to truly accept queers and it’s not just India but all around the world. Right now what everyone needs to be aware of the social evil this is, hell I am a 20 year old closeted person who still doesn’t know how to come out to her family knowing the fact that it won’t be that bad if I do, bu it ain’t that easy. I am bisexual. My friends know that and some of my cousins who I am close to and even that wasn’t easy to do. I lost many people I use to call friends and honestly it’s fine that you don’t want to be my friend coz it made me realize that you didn’t deserve my friendship anyway. Sometimes I imagine what would it be like, me comin out to my family. Would it be fine which I hardly think would be because my mom is THE most religious person I know but who knows what would her reaction will be because it’s only her reaction that matters to me. She probably will be livid by it but eventually would come around the fact that I am not an average girl. Well I am anything but average, never have been never will be.

Made in heaven is a must watch, it gets cringy at some points but that’s indian shows for you they can’t be anymore authentic than that and THAT is what makes it relatable and real.

Okay this really weird thing happened today. So there is this guy I use to talk to I mean it was like we were seeing each other but not dating each other and then we didn’t meet each other for 4 months but we talked once or twice and it wasn’t because we din’t want it was because both of us were really busy and well our work comes first. The last time we met we kissed and I genuinely thought it made everything we had very awkward, He was a good friend and he still is.

Today he snapped me out of the blue and the exact second he texted me so now we are talking to each other on two different apps but about the same thing and getting super confused to what is happening, anyway then he asks me for a drive and I said yes because no matter what happened we both are still friends. I rushed and got ready the normal amount that I would to meet a friend and everything was great, we drived around ate ice cream talked non stop and then decided to drive some more when we came across that a college nearby was having their fest and we were almost on our way to drop me home but decide like what the hell let’s go the fest we will dance and have some fun. We did and I must say that is a great decision because it was so fun and spontaneous, it felt more like a date than it was. I mean it wasn’t a date because we are just friends but it felt good.