#tumblingghosts

So here's the thing. Bob is nonbinary and queer (I think they're primarily attracted to men but like also not too particular? Idk, doesn't super matter for this lol). And they know that, have identified that way for many years now.

But Sam? Never put any thought to it. Has had a few relationships with women, as one does. But at some point decided there were other things he wanted to focus on in life instead of romance, like his business with the cafe. It's been probably around 4 years since his last relationship and he isn't bothered by that.

What Sam has never put into words/labels (and probably wouldn't unless Bob mentions it at some point), is that he's demisexual. Any relationship he had, he was friends first, and he never feels a spark until he's really gotten to know someone.

So, back to Bob becoming closer friends with Sam. They get to know each other better; they learn that they're both originally from the South; Bob shows and talks with Sam about their art, tries to encourage Sam to engage with his creative side. And Sam likes it. Likes Bob, a lot. Maybe Bob is starting to look really cute lately...what.

Cue sexuality crisis for Sam, because he's never been into guys and he's still not because Bob is not a guy, but Bob isn't a woman either and that's all he's ever dated so?? What does that mean for Sam?? (Spoiler alert: it ultimately doesn't matter to him. He cares about the connection he feels with Bob more than whatever tf label he should put to himself)

Sam is the one to kiss Bob first because Bob would never make an actual move (they were pretty clueless to this crisis Sam was going through and always assumed they were nothing more than friends).

Of course there's angst at first. Bob's been used by straight guys curious enough to experiment before and then dropped immediately, so Bob is really worried that could happen (and it's worse than previous times because they don't want to lose Sam as a friend too)

Bob is also self conscious because they tend to see the differences between them and Sam. Sam is so Good, a straight and arrow type guy, a veteran, a successful business owner. Bob has a past of terrible abuse, homelessness, and drug addiction. They don't see how Sam could want to be with someone who was such a mess.

(in truth, Bob isn't giving Sam enough credit here [/just letting their insecurities take over]. To reference canon, I think about that line from tfatws where Sam is telling Bucky how people here (his hometown) will welcome you no matter what and Bucky is like "I get it, people are nice." I think even though Sam never directly experienced the things Bob went through, there were plenty of people in his life who he cared about that he saw go through similar struggles. I think Sam would surprise Bob with how nonjudgmental and empathetic he is about Bob's past.)

Sam would have to have a serious heart to heart with Bob about the gender stuff. Explain that this is new to him, so when he asks questions, he's not judging or doubting, he's just trying to understand Bob better (or it's just out of plain, innocent curiosity; this is new to him!). Bob would struggle with that at first too but try their best to not doubt him.

Alright that's most of the plot-ish stuff. Here's a few cute headcanons I have of them:

Bob wears skirts a lot, like the long flowy type of ones (kind of 70s ish vibes??). Sam loves the skirts.

On the flip side, when Bob isn't dressing femme, their style is like?? Street wear adjacent, I'd say? Very casual, very oversized. They love being engulfed in a hoodie. Sam calls this Bob's fluffy look and he loves this one too. (Bob was initially worried that Sam would only find them attractive when they were dressing femme. Turned out not to be the case.)

That turns into a pet name for Bob. Sam calls them "fluff." It's very cute in my head lol.

Sam feels self conscious around Bob's artist friends because he feels like he knows nothing about art and is afraid of sounding dumb in front of them. Bob encourages him constantly that art is for everyone and that they love having him in this part of their life. If someone does make a snide or pretentious remark, Bob is very protective of Sam and jumps to his defense (like in a sassy/snide remark back kind of way).

Felix & Hilarius

Yeah, I think their collaboration is mostly venting to one another. Honestly, I think the echo chamber of hopelessness probably doesn't motivate either out of their defeatist inaction. From the book, it sounds like Hilarius is even more defeatist than Felix. He also talks more insultingly about Wovey than Felix does about Dill, so I do imagine that Hilarius is the one doing more of the ranting.

Hilarius probably asks Felix how he gets Dill to be slightly more receptive to mentoring than Wovey (especially with Reaper probably hanging around). I think Felix's slightly more empathetic personality helps him succeed where Hilarius fails.

Felix & Arachne

Oh, this is actually a pretty good headcanon! It would make a certain amount of sense and add a good bit of angst to Arachne's death for Felix! I do think that there's a chance that he wouldn't trust her to do it in the sense that Arachne's general snark and sass makes especially her abrasive to strangers, so he probably is skeptical on letting her give food to his visibly sick tribute. She'd probably chuck a paperbag with a sandwich at Dill, so she doesn't have to get close and then taunt Brandy. Yeah, maybe Arachne's not the best choice now that I've thought it through completely (although there is a chance!). Felix probably thinks about asking Arachne when she mentions that she's going.

I think if Felix doesn't hand the sandwich himself, then he probably gets like someone his family's hired to do it. Maybe his driver.

Felix & Time Travel

It depends on how far before the 10th Hunger Games he's returning to. If it's not very long before or the day of the Reaping, I'm unsure how focused he is on the Hunger Games. He will probably accompany Arachne to the Zoo though and make sure she doesn't die. At the very least, a probably ~35 year old Felix is not as image conscious (at least about smaller things) than he was as a teen.

If he hasn't been back for that long (under a year), then he's still processing his death, and I don't know how apparent it is to him that it was Snow's doing, but he may suspect it. Either way, he's not too fond of Snow at the time of his death (battling the Ravinstills for political power but also for Old President Ravinstill's attention). He's definitely focusing on sabotaging Coriolanus' chances on gaining any influence, and Dill becomes more of a background concern as he juggles his at-the-moment one-sided rivalry and making sure Arachne doesn't do anything else that gets her killed.

Felix probably beats Coriolanus to the punch with going to greet the Tributes by suggesting that all the mentors do so and making it a class field trip. He also does begin loudly insisting to his Great-Uncle that with Academy students accompanying the Tributes shouldn't security be increased which leads to the Bombing being averted. (He probably flat out mentions the possibility of a bombing which probably puts the president on high alert, because of my hc that a lot of the Ravinstills died in a bombing).

I imagine that Felix is still mostly playing Coriolanus whack-a-mole on all of the other man's efforts, but as time goes on, I imagine that since we've averted a lot of the things that would have derailed the Mentors and Tributes from spending more time together (Arachne's death and Bombing), the Capitol is now leaning really heavy into Mentor and Tribute spotlights with more than just the interviews being aired to the public (maybe they have little clips where the tributes can show off a lesser talent or maybe they force the tributes to react to Capitol things and foods.)

I'm kind of pessimistic on Felix being able to stop the Hunger Games with this little prep time especially since it spends so much time being a lesser concern. As they get closer to the Games, however, and the mentors and tributes have been bonding a bit, reality starts setting in. He has had regrets about the Games in the past before he died, and he did start questioning their purpose privately. It's just a decade or two of suppressing those thoughts makes him slow on the uptake, but he does get hit with the "oh no, they're all just kids." With this sudden realization, I think he starts spiraling and starts trying to rack up as much sympathy to get Dill out of the Games. I don't think this quite works as he's probably starting to get a bit desperate.

He probably has a bit of a breakdown, and I think President Ravinstill rigs the Games so that Dill wins in an attempt to make him feel better, and it's pretty obvious to everyone watching that there was foul play.

This is the death knell for the Games as they are, because everyone's a little pissed at the Ravinstill Nepotism win.

They try and have a Game the next year which isn't as popular (sorry, Mags. You still have to go through the death game), and Pres. Ravinstill demands that Gaul make her Games into something viable or else (even though its definitely his fault that they're failing, but he's not going to think about that). They become a weird and gaudy popularity contest where the winner gets to come to Capitol but these new Victors get treated like weird human trophy pets.

Felix isn't having a great time in the aftermath. To balance out this kind of bleak end, I'll say that Gaul is also not having a great time, because her favorite part of the Games (the violence) is gone.

I actually had some thoughts about Felix coming back earlier, but this is already so long. I can't get into it at this point!

Thanks for the ask!

I think if he's teaming up with Clemensia, they can convince Reaper to do the interview for Dill's sake. The interview probably starts okay-ish, but Reaper is reluctant to talk and the more Reaper refuses to truly get with the program, the more visibly and audibly annoyed Felix would get.

People probably tell him that he tried his best which he probably doesn't often read as sincere even if people are telling him that genuinely. As he stews on the interview, he would probably get progressively more snappish but this starts off small, and he gets more irritable as people bring it up.

I'm unsure how much the other mentors switching tributes will change the Games, but assuming Reaper still makes it close to the end, Felix has probably gotten a bit of his confidence back! However, depending on how much lashing out he did in his more insecure mindset, the other mentors maybe avoiding him a bit.

Unlike Clemensia, who was more cynical after the snakebite, Felix would probably not hold back on sending Reaper food and water. Considering it seems like Reaper drops from exhaustion, this could help him win, although there are other factors at play in the original timeline and this timeline as well.

If he does win, once the high wears down idk if Felix enjoys his victory. He probably realizes that besides sending food and water he did nothing and it was mostly just Reaper. He does play up for the cameras that of course he won! And how happy he is, but he (and probably others) think he got lucky with getting Reaper (nepotism?). This unhappiness could lead to A Character ArcTM.

If he doesn't win, then I think in a true double standard for himself, he blames himself since he thinks Reaper should have been able to win easily. Much self-pity. He probably snaps at people more while he's in the negative mindset.

I think Felix does try more (mostly in the being seen more talking to his tribute), but I don't think there is much he can do. Reaper isn't the type to be accommodating to. Perhaps, if Felix can get Dill medicine, which is very much on the table, but even then, I can't imagine Reaper is fully trusting even after that.

I can also see, if Reaper is getting comfortable enough to talk, Reaper speaking some hard truths to Felix about how the country is and Felix's great-uncle. This could also lead interesting directions for Felix! He'd get defensive at first, but it could sink in as he mulls things over. I think Felix stews on things a lot... To his detriment, most of his time, but also to his credit when something potentially character developing happens.

TLDR is that Felix has a time ranging from "another day in the life of Felix Ravinstill and his insecurities" to "Felix Ravinstill has fundamentally changes as a person now" levels of feeling bad.