#tullaina

A warm and hearty dinner made the Company’s good spirits return, and with the mountain now within their reach and their strengths returned through food and rest, the room was filled with excited chatter and laughter. 

Tullaina sat with her back against the wall, knees pulled up to her chest and a knitted blanket thrown around her shoulders, watching their merrymaking with tired eyes.

Sigrid had suggested she’d sleep in her room, thinking she could use a little privacy away from her male companions, but Tullaina had politely declined. After what happened in Mirkwood, there was no way Thorin, Fíli, Kíli or any other member of the Company would let her out of their sight, not even for one second. And she felt the exact same way. 

As the night progressed, one by one the Dwarves laid down to rest on the hard wooden floor, using the provided blankets and throws and whatever they could find to sleep on. Tullaina quickly followed their example, absolutely exhausted after their escape from the Mirkwood dungeons and travelling to Laketown, with Fíli and Kíli joining her not long after. 

But sleep didn’t came as easily as she would have wanted. Despite the room being packed with Dwarves and a Hobbit and a still smouldering fire in the fireplace, she couldn’t seem to get warm. The humid air and the cold had crept into her tired bones, her toes were numb and every inch of skin was prickled with goosebumps. She couldn’t stop shivering, no matter what position she tried to sleep in. 

After what seemed like hours of endless tossing and turning, Tullaina rolled onto her side, double-downed and clenched her eyes shut, wishing for warmth and sleep to come at last.

“Everything alright?” Fíli whispered, having noticed her shivering form. He was careful to keep his voice down, not wanting to wake up any of the others. But judging by their loud snoring, it would take a lot more than a hushed conversation to wake them up. 

Tullaina pulled the knitted blanket a little tighter around her, and nodded. “Jus’ c-cold, is all.”

Fíli reached out and covered the hand that clutched her blanket, easily enveloping it in his own. “Mahal, you’re freezing!”

On her other side, Kíli turned around so he could face them. “You want my blanket?”

“N-no Kíli, I swear I’m f-f-fine. You need your own b-blanket.”

“Tulls, you’re clearly not fine, I can feel you shaking. Are your clothes dry enough?” Fíli asked, patting down the blanket to see if it turned damp. “Seems okay to me.”

“I told you I’m f-f-fine, Dwarves are warmblooded, I’ll warm up eventually,” she tried to reassure them. If only her teeth would stop chattering so she could actually try to get some sleep… 

“That’s it!” Kíli yelled, immediately shushed by his brother, “don’t give me that look Fee, no one heard me. But Tulls is right, we are warmblooded. That’s what she needs, body warmth!”

“So what do you suggest?”

“Isn’t that obvious? See, that’s why I’m the smarter one out of the two of us. Fee, you need to share your blanket! Let her sleep against you so you can share your body warmth, she’ll be fine in no time and then we can all have a good night’s sleep.”

Fíli froze, immediately catching on to what his brother was trying to do and he opened his mouth a few times to say something, too stunned to speak. 

Tullaina tried to ignore the stab in her stomach when she realised Fíli was mortified by the idea of sleeping under the same blanket. She didn’t understand, there had been lots of times during the Quest and back home where they’d cuddled close to each other, and for Durin’s sake, when they escaped Mirkwood that morning he couldn’t let go of her, his arm firmly wrapped around her waist for hours after, so why would he be so against the idea now? 

“It’s fine, I-I can share with Kíli, I don’t mind,” she quickly suggested, trying to break the awkward tension.

“But I do!” Kíli protested quickly, “no offence Tulls, but I know you’re a heavy dreamer, I’m not looking to be kicked in the shins. Or worse.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Fíli stuttered after he found his voice again, “I’m sorry Tullaina, of course I’ll sleep with you-” 

Both Tullaina and Kíli watched the colour drain from his face as his brain caught up with his mouth. They stared at him with wide eyes while Fíli prayed that the inside of Bard’s house was dark enough so no one could see how flushed he was.  “I mean- I don’t… That’s not… I- I’ll shut up now.”

He moved closer towards Tullaina, close enough so he could throw part of his blanket over her but still keeping enough distance between their bodies so his mother would be proud of him. 

“Is this okay?” he asked with a hushed voice, “I can move if you want.”

“Fíli, it’s fine, don’t worry,” Tullaina hummed, instantly relaxed by the extra warmth and comfort radiating from him, and she could feel her eyelids getting heavier by the second.

“Now that everyone’s settled and comfortable, can we finally go to sleep?” Kíli’s voice sounded from behind them, and Fíli muttered a good night in return. He noticed Tullaina remained silent, her breathing already evened out. The shivers had stopped, but Fíli still pulled his part of the blanket off of him and covered her with it, keeping none for himself. 

*

It was still early when Tullaina woke up, feeling well-rested and warm. She could hear soft snoring right next to her, and as she slowly opened her eyes, she was greeted with Fíli’s sleeping figure. Their noses almost touched, they were that close to each other and she could feel his breath brush her lips with every sigh. 

Even though the room was still shrouded in the night’s darkness she could see the outlines of his face perfectly. His long nose, his moustache braids she knew he was so proud of, the lines around his mouth and eyes - the ones she could read like a map, every little skin crease depicting a different emotion, a different meaning behind them - now smoothed underneath the promise of a safe night. Her fingers twitched, eager to stroke the stray hairs out of his face, his usually well-kept braids untangled, a reminder of their flight from Mirkwood, making him look more like Kíli than he would have wanted. 

She shouldn’t. 

They were about to reclaim Erebor, their long lost home and it would change everything. But it was their home, not hers. 

They were actual royalty for Mahal’s sake, and the closer they came to ending their quest, the more she realised that she was going to lose them. She didn’t belong in their world, or at their side. She, an orphaned daughter of an Ered Luin seamstress and a miner, had no place beside the throne. When everything was over and settled down, she would make the journey back. Alone. 

After all, princes didn’t make friends with commoners and they certainly didn’t court or marry them. They would forget her soon enough. 

Tullaina sighed and turned on her other side, wanting to put as much distance between them as she could. She shouldn’t think about her goodbyes just yet, they had a dragon to slay first. 

Before she was able to inch further away, Fíli grunted and draped a large arm over her middle, pulled her closer and pressed his broad frame against her back. She froze at the sudden proximity and tried to fight her initial reaction of melting into him and folding her arms over his. What would the others think if they woke up and found them like this? Spooning? 

But those concerns were quickly pushed to the back of her mind when she noticed something else, something very prominent and very much awake. 

She knew what it was, she wasn’t a little pebble anymore, but knowing about it and feeling it pressed against your butt were two totally different things. 

Fíli would probably die of embarrassment if he knew and Tullaina was sure she would be right behind him at this point. She tried to carefully squirm her way out of his arms, without waking him up, but his hold on her was too tight. In any other situation she would’ve been flattered, excited even, knowing that he didn’t want to let her go, but now she wished she had accepted Sigrid’s offer. 

All her wiggling and squirming to get away only made it worse and Fíli more excited. There was no other option but to wait for him to wake up, hoping none of the others would do so first. 

And for once, luck was on her side because a few minutes later, Fíli started to stir. Tullaina patted his arm softly and whispered his name, trying to get him to let go before he realised what kind of predicament he had put them in. 

Fíli heard the slight panic and worry in her voice and wrongfully assumed there was danger looming. In an instant he went into full protective mode and pulled her closer against him, tightening his hold on her, shielding her body with his own. He groaned and bucked his hips involuntarily as Tullaina’s body made contact with his hardness, and that’s when he realised to his horror what was going on. 

He immediately let her go, his body jolting back as if she’d burned him. By doing so, he bumped into a sleeping Kíli, who was up in a second, startled by the sudden action of his brother. The yelps of both princes alerted Thorin, who was usually a light sleeper, whose movement woke Bilbo and in just a few seconds, the whole Company was awake. 

Fíli scrambled to his feet, muttering apologies as fast as he could, not knowing where to look. Tullaina was just as mortified as him, and trying to escape the questioning looks of everyone she quickly excused herself, mumbling something about helping Sigrid with breakfast, even though none of the Bardlings were awake yet. 

Kíli and the others watched her dash out of the living room, but no one dared to comment. Thorin eyed his nephews carefully, but decided to let it slide for now. If it was important, they would come to talk to him eventually.  

Fíli was still panting and beet red when Kíli came up next to him.

“That went well, didn’t it?” he commented, as they watched everyone getting ready for breakfast, the previous scene already forgotten.  

If looks could kill, the youngest Durin prince would’ve died on the spot, twice. Fíli muttered something about needing some air and stomped out of the house into the cold morning air. 

Kíli sighed heavily and pouted his lips, looking at the pile of blankets on the ground.

“Another good plan gone to waste.”

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“What are you doing?” she finally asked, too curious–and bored–to remain quiet. 

Kíli just hummed absentmindedly, his eyes never leaving the screen. Tullaina tutted in annoyance and moved to sit closer to him. Even now, she could barely see what he was doing. 

“Come on,” she begged, pushing his shoulder, “Share!” 

This time, he groaned and pushed her back. “Leave me alone!” he whined. “Watch your TV and leave me alone.” 

“But I don’t want to watch the TV anymore,” Tullaina declared, grabbing the laptop to take it from him. 

Kíli shouted no and barely had time to get a hold of it before the two began pulling on the device like children fighting over a pack of candies. 

“Stop! You’ll break it!” 

“Then let me see!” 

Only when Kíli heard a suspicious cracking noise did he let go of it with a huff. Crossing his arms against his chest, he pouted. Victorious, Tullaina grinned and finally looked down at the screen. She bit her lip to silence her laugh and arched a brow. 

“The ten most popular places to get married?” she read out loud, giving Kíli a weird look. 

“Shut up,” Kíli snapped, a small grin curling his lips. “It’s for science.” 

Tullaina snorted and scrolled down on the website. Beach, beach, beach, and more beaches. According to that website, the world was, apparently, covered in beaches. 

“These people are not the most imaginative,” she snorted, handing the computer back to him. “Like there aren’t any other places on the planet…” 

For a reason she had yet to discover, Kíli’s eyes twinkled mischievously. She narrowed her eyes with suspicion and shifted back on the sofa. 

“I don’t like that look,” she told him. 

“If that’s your opinion,” he began, “I know someone who thinks the exact same…” 

Before she could ask who it was, the apartment door was pushed open, and Fíli came in. He looked slightly tired, but Tullaina knew he was not tired enough to ditch them tonight. She watched him as he dropped his backpack on the floor before walking up to them. 

“You’re on those websites again?” he asked his brother, leaning over his shoulder. “They all say the same thing, Kíli. The people who make them clearly lack imagination.”

Tullaina’s mouth opened to form a small “o” as she realized just who Kíli was talking about. When she looked at him, he had a smile as wide as the Cheshire Cat’s on his lips. Tullaina tutted in annoyance and crossed her arms, deciding that the TV was now the most interesting thing in the world and staring at it. 

Fíli flopped down on the couch next to her with a deep sigh and stretched his arms. They all remained quiet for a few minutes before Kíli broke the silence again. 

“How many people would you invite to your wedding?” Kíli asked innocently. 

“Just friend and family,” both Fíli and Tullaina replied at the same time. If it didn’t seem to bother him, Tullaina could feel her cheeks heat up and she glared at Kíli. 

With a devilish grin, he whispered in a sing-song voice: “Birds of a feather flock together,” earning himself a well-aimed elbow in the ribs. 

------

The issue wasn’t that he was a bad dancer. It wasn’t even the embarrassment this would cause him in the morning (he knew what would happen when he got drunk! It happened every single time). The issue was that, firstly, Fíli had a big meeting in the morning and would not do well hungover, and secondly, the elves were going to be arriving for said meeting any minute (Thorin had grumbled for hours about how Thranduil had “No respect for sleep,” and that “Some of us can’t stay up all night and then look fresh as daisies in the morning.”)

After the fiasco that had happened the last time the elves visited, which had involved Fíli, Kíli, several jugs of ale, and a game of catch, Thorin was determined to keep everything under control for this visit.

“TULLAINA!” Fíli exclaimed, jumping down from the table and drunkenly making his way over to her.

“I love you,” he said, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Tullaina giggled for a moment, then shook her head and pushed him away. “Tell me that when you’re sober. Now c’mon. The elves should be here any moment.”

“ELVES! Where?” He crouched into a battle-stance and looked around warily.

Tullaina laughed, grabbing his arm and dragging him out the door. She rounded the corner of the pub, entering the alleyway behind it.

“Did you get it?”

“Yes,” said a figure, stepping forward out of the darkness.

“Kíli!!” Fíli greeted his brother with a wave. “Did you know I Love Tulls? I. Love. Tullaina.”

“Oh, wow. He really is drunk,” Kíli said.

Tullaina nodded. “Yup. Now let’s do this so that we can get to the gates and not have Thorin scold us.”

Kíli nodded, reaching down and grabbing a large bucket. Tullaina knew what was in it- ice cold water.

“Ready?”

Tullaina let go of Fíli and backed up. “Ready.”

Kíli hefted the bucket over his head, dumping all the cold water over his brother. Fíli starting shrieking as the cold water rained down over him, jumping and squirming and generally just not looking very pleased as his brother and fiancé both cackled while watching him.

Tullaina waited until Fíli had shaken most of the water off, then approached him. “You at least slightly clear-headed now?”

“Huh? Oh, Tullaina! Kíli, did you know I love Tulls?”

Kíli sighed. “Ok. That didn’t work at all.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” said Tullaina. “We need to figure this out.”

Kíli walked up to his brother, placing a hand on each of Fíli’s shoulders and looking him directly in the eyes.

“Fíli,” he began.

“Yes?”

“Yes, hi. It’s me. We’re about to go see Uncle Thorin and Uncle Bilbo, and we’re going to be greeting the elves. You need to act completely normal. Got it?”

Fíli nodded, suddenly looking very serious. “I’ve got it.”

Tullaina and Kíli let out simultaneous sighs of relief, each grabbing one of Fíli’s arms to frog-march him to the front gates.

As they walked, Fíli asked, “Do you think Thranduil will let me touch his ears?”

“No,” Kíli told him.

“Awwwww,” Fíli pouted. “But they’re so pointy. I want to touch them!!!!!”

The next morning, Tullaina sat on the window seat in her bedroom, watching F​​íli blink his eyes open in the spot he’d collapsed last night- spread eagle on her bed.

“Did you know that you talk in your sleep?” She asked.

“Tulls?” Fíli shot up to a sitting position, blinking his eyes in confusion.

“You collapsed in here last night because you were very drunk,” she told him. “Anyways, did you know talk in your sleep?”

Fíli looked wary. “I did not know that. May I ask what I said?”

Tullaina giggled. “Let’s see, there may have been a fully formed dream-plan to prank Thranduil’s son for revenge-”

“Did you write it down?”

“I- what?” Tullaina was confused by the sudden interruption.

“Tullaina. Focus. Did you write it down?”

She shook her head, and Fíli’s head sank back in disappointment.

“I remember it, though!”

Fíli’s head shot back up. “Great! We’ll discuss it later. What else did I say?”

“There was also a whole lot of grumbling about ‘the grumpiness of uncles,’ and how ‘ever since Uncle Thorin had married Bilbo he’d gotten supremely worse about manners.’”

Fíli groaned. “I hope I didn’t say anything like that in front of my Uncles!”

Tullaina smirked. “Well, you actually did a whole lot worse.”

Fíli shot out of bed. “What?! What did I do?!”

Tullaina sat back against her pillows with the air of someone who was taking entirely too much delight in telling someone else something.

“Well,” she began. “You started off an abysmal night by commenting on the pointiness of the Elven-Kings ears. In front of the whole elven delegation- and like ninety percent of Erebor.”

Fíli flopped back onto the bed in despair. “I really hate to ask, but… did I touch them?”

“Welllllllll, no.”

He sighed in relief.

“However, you did somehow manage to touch Legolas’s ears. And then Legolas caught a whiff of your breath and commented on how drunk you must have been. And then Thorin… well, let’s just say Thorin was not pleased. Especially not when you started yelling at Legolas.”

“What did I yell at Legolas about?” Fíli looked like he wanted to shrivel up and never be seen again.

The smirk on Tullaina’s face was growing. “You said, and I quote, “C’mon, Leggy!! Bros don’t rat out other bros for being drunk at a diplomatic thingy! And you! I thought you were a bro! How could you?”

“So that’s why I wanted revenge in my dream?” Fíli asked.

Tullaina nodded.

“It’s official,” Fíli declared. “I will never leave this room again.”

“I would say that was a good idea,” Tullaina said. “Except for the fact that as of right now, you are officially late to the ‘crisis management (the crisis being your behavior last night) meeting that Thorin scheduled for this morning. The one that all the elves will be attending.”

Fíli shot into the room where Thorin usually held all important meetings, skidding to a halt in shock as he saw the faces of the people inside.

It was everyone. All the elves, Thorin, Bilbo, even little Frodo! And- was that-

“Tullaina?”

Everyone in the room started laughing.

Fíli stood there in complete bewilderment. “What- what is happening?”

Thorin approached him. “Last night, when you were behaving so ridiculously, we figured out that if dwarven-elven relations could withstand that kind of diplomatic fiasco, we could withstand anything.”

Thranduil stepped forward. “Exactly. However, your Uncle still felt you deserved some punishment for last night. So, your all-too-willing fiancée stepped in.”

Tullaina gave Fíli a little wave.

“So- so I’m not in trouble?”

Thorin laughed. “No. We thought that the fact that everyone, until the end of time, will remember you asking to touch an elf’s ears was enough.”

Fíli was blushing like crazy.

“Fine,” he said. “But my retribution for this will be legendary! They shall mark this day as the day when Fíli, Prince of Erebor, came up with his greatest prank ever!” He spread his arms wide to punctuate the declaration.

And then promptly stopped, holding out his hand. “Now, c’mon, Tulls. I’m hungry. Let’s go to the kitchens.”

As the two left the room, Fíli turned around just long enough to yell one more thing.

“There will still be repercussions for this, never fear! There shall be RE-PER-CUSSIONS!”

The large double doors to the conference room slammed shut in their wake, and everyone in the room could hear them walking down the hallway on the other side, Tullaina giggling as she teased Fíli and him good-naturedly replying.

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Fili and Kili were closest to the front and Fili continued to make backward glances at Tullaina, making sure she was keeping up and maintaining a far distance between her and the beast.

His main focus was to get the door open for the rest of the company to fall into safely.

“Keep going! Run!” someone up ahead hollered, but Tullaina wasn’t sure who. All the surrounding noises were blurred by the thrumming of her heart in her ears. She continued to push her body to cover as much distance as quickly as she could, but still the doorway of the house ahead seemed further and further away.

She watched as Fili and Kili reached the large door, each of them slamming their bodies into it in an attempt to break through.

The other dwarves caught up just as the great bear was closing in on them, creating a bottleneck in the entryway, everyone screaming and shouting to get the door open.

After watching his nephews struggle for long enough, Thorin finally pushed his way through to the front and lifted the latch open, him and Fili standing to the side to let everyone else through first.

With a loud roar in her ear, Tullaina hauled herself through the door with Bilbo’s collar clutched in her hand to pull her in with him. Once they were all through and safe, she slammed her body back against the door, pressing against the weight of the giant bear on the other side with the help of the other members of the company.

A gasp of relief left her the moment the door was latched shut and she closed her eyes as the severity of the situation hit her.

They were just chased down by a massive bear and were now shut in a house in which they didn’t know if they were actually safe.

Fili all but collapsed on the floor beside Tullaina, likely more exhausted than she was with how hard he worked to get them to safety.

His arm flung up over his eyes and his chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath. Tullaina could see beads of sweat dripping from his face, but the moisture was not able to disguise his weariness from the quest so far. He was so tired, and she wished tonight would bring some reprieve to him.

She slid her back down the door to sit on her bottom with panting breaths leaving her lungs quickly, nudging Fili on his leg with her boot.

“Are you alright?” she asked.

He grunted in response, too tired to form words, but it was enough to satisfy her question.

She closed her eyes and relished in their temporary sanctuary.

“Tulls?” she heard his drained voice call to her and she opened her eyes again.

“Mm?”

“Can you do the thing?” Fili requested.

Tullaina opened her eyes fully, looking in his direction and immediately connected with his vibrantly blue ones.

“What thing?”

He smiled and her stomach fluttered, but she cut it down to the adrenaline still coursing through her.

“You know, that thing that makes me happy.”

She automatically grinned, a smile so large it almost made her cheeks sore.

“Oh, of course!” she beamed, and then it grew bigger from thinking how easy it was for him to make her smile.

A laugh passed through her upturned lips and she thought how she could live in this moment for as long as she was able to, simply enjoying peace after such fright and a smile shared with someone who she cared for so much.

“Thank you,” Fili hummed with a low chuckle, and Tullaina could tell he was about to fall into a deep sleep right where he lay.