#ttcbabynumber1

I want to get my husband some sort of semen enhancement pills. Unfortunately he has diabetes and we are afraid his sperm count may be lower than normal or movement may be different. So we are a bit afraid of getting the test done But we know it's a necessity. So my last question is do any of you wonderful ladies have any experience with sperm enhancement pills? Something natural that I can order without a prescription. We don't want to go crazy with medication and I want him to feel comfortable taking something unlike me who doesn't care how it makes me feel. He already feels Crappy 50 percent of the time. But any advice or website or really anything that may help us, PLEASE let me know. I'm to afraid to order something I know nothing about. It will be greatly appreciated! And also,I don't even know if you can comment back on this so if I need to set something up so it's Possible, that would be appreciated as well lol.

Well, it looks like AF will be showing her ugly face today. Not Exactly sure yet but all signs are leading to it. Not happy. But I guess what can ya do. On to next month of TTC. Maybe it's time to just push my feelings and emotions out and try to forget about them because at this point, they are taking me once again to a state of depression. But i refuse to sit around and cry... Again... So tonight, I am going out with my bestfriend/sister in law, and a few other friends. Going to have a few drinks, let loose, dance and just be 23. I'm to young to be this stressed. My biggest dream is to be able to give my husband the children that he longs for as do I, but that doesn't mean I can't have fun. I think we all need it every now and again. I need to keep my sanity because this constant sadness over something I can't change is killing me.

Sore boobs that have gotten huge (as my husband tells me lol) very bloated, moody, constantly hungry and kind of crampy. It's 9:30am here now and I was waking up every 30 minutes from 5am until 9 because I knew today was day 28 and I could test and naturally, it was a big fat negative.. Hoping I just ovulated late so I need to test in a few days but I am 98 percent sure it's just not happening this month.. What can ya do I guess.. I hate this time of month because I always feel just horrible after seeing a negative test at this point in my cycle. But, it's been 2 years of this, you'd think is be used to it by now. But nope, it never gets easier, only More disappointing..

My sister in law/ bestfriend told me that when her husband gets back from deployment. She wants to have another baby. (She has a beautiful one year old) And I am over the moon happy for her and my brother in law and god knows I wish them the best, but is it wrong of me to want to cry? Not jealous just envious. I wish I had a beautiful daughter like her and wish I could be going into my second.. Boo for feelings. They can seriously ruin a happy moment for someone because I can't control my emotions. I hope it's Normal..? She's the only person I've told about this stuff and I know she could tell something was wrong but I'd rather tell her I'm okay because that moment isn't about me and I don't want it to be. I just have no idea how to hide these feelings because even after 2 years, I am still trying. Any advice on how to help that would be great... Because I'm at a loss unfortunately.

I started this ttc blog to help me have a place to vent about the good, the bad and the ugly when it comes to my infertility and the journey my husband I face ahead. I feel it's so much easier to write/type what I'm feeling rather than talking about it seeing as I don't tell anyone what's going on. But this blog has turned into far more than that. After making this account, I decided to go around and find women and families that are in the same shoes as me seeing how they would understand what I'm going through and the indescribable pain We face everyday. But it turned Into so much more than that. Without the help of some of you, getting through these hard times wouldn't of been possible. When I feel lost, I just come here and read your posts. all of you women have helped me get through my everyday life of infertility more than you know and I just want to give a huge thank you for your advice and your kind words towards me. I honestly don't think I would be able to get through these hard times without all of you amazing women. The pain and heartache we face, nobody would understand unless they go through it as well which is why I feel so strongly about this blog and this community of ttcer's. I look at it more like a family, an amazing family of women who can actually say they understand you rather than other people saying they understand your pain as their child runs around the room. Because they don't really understand. Now in saying that, that does not count for those of you who had baby number one easy but have been trying years for number two, because you understand as well. That pain is no different. When you are younger, you dream of being married to Prince Charming, having a beautiful out of this world wedding and then lastly, having a child of your own. But when you have a hard time with the biggest dream of all, creating your family, your whole world feels out of place and you can't figure out where you went wrong or why it has to be you. But I will be honest and say I wouldn't wish this pain and heartache on ANY other women. I was built to handle it and that's why god picked me. It's unfortunate but it's life. One day we will all have little babies running around but for now, our hopes and dreams have all changed. And when we finally get to hold that little piece of heaven in our arms, nothing else in the world will matter. All of this pain, it will be beyond worth it. <3

This nausea is going to be the death of me. I have chronic nausea that I've been dealing with for years but it never goes through the night and lasts into the morning like it is today. And my boobs have grown overnight and are ao incredibly sore. so crazy. Wondering if af is on her way in due to the bad nausea. Guess we will just have to see. On a different note, my dreams last night were all pregnancy dreams. I actually woke up and took a pg test half asleep this morning and I'm only cd23 so clearly I wasn't fully awake and it was negative. Thank you dreams for all those positive pregnancy tests in my head. Geesh.

I got a call back from my doctor today letting me know that clomid has made me ovulate this month. They said it was a consistent 39. So that's great! Now just hope that this cycle is it. Don't have my hopes to high but still hopeful!

Extremely tender boobs, lots of wet cm, constantly eating and lower back pain... And these mood swings are Nutzooo! F u clomid. (I believe clomid is causing it anyways) Not getting my hopes up this time around because as far as I remember this is normal with clomid? Who knows. Sadly I have no idea if or when I ovulated because I refrained from Opk's this month. Found it pointless with having Pcos. Luckily tomorrow is day 21 and I go in for blood work and within a week I'll know if I ovulated or not. Keeping my fingers crossed!! Hubby and I haven't really been doing the normal routine for Bding. We didn't want to push it and wanted to keep it fun so we have been on no schedule what so ever. (In my head I'm like okay, we have to do it today or I could miss my chance... Everyday) BUT I have overcame that every time!