there’s a warm swell in fjord’s chest, a rare, tight-throated gratefulness that he doesn’t really know how to put a name to. before the feeling can pass, and in one of those brief moment of privacy a now empty inn hallway affords, fjord’s arms find their way around vandren’s middle, his head ducked against the older man’s chest and squeezing vandren into a hug that he hopes says more than he can manage in words right now.
Vandren is caught off guard for once. It’s been a long two weeks, with a less than optimal crew, tight on money, and half their cargo lost to greenhorn pirates– Vandren wasn’t sure how he was going to pay for the next job. If they cut repairs, it put everyone in danger. If they cut rations, he threatened his reputation and a mutiny. Then again, he could always cut back on crew, but a heavier workload was dangerous to the crew and his reputation. Merchant vesseles lived off of reputation.
And what’s worse is the pirates had been some fucking losers without any order or reason to them- none of them could fight, and he could have taken them all on …. but exposing himself in the process. So he held his tongue and his magic. The swell of eldritch energy had sat under his skin buzzing until the encounter passed.
The stress had been wearing on him, and he supposed it had been showing. His mask slipping. Less smiling, less chatting and laughing with the crews. Paid everyone out when they hit land and immediately retired out and bid them good evening, because he wasn’t sure he’d be able to afford two nights after all of this.
The tight embrace almost hurts, but the flood of warmth as Fjord hides in his chest. And he’s floored. He remembers a bright smile and a cheeky grin and batting eyelashes, curly horns and perfect cut bangs. Vandren awllows around a lump in his throat, arms slowly coming around to return the embrace. Careful not to grip his hidden claws in to his shirt, nose pressing in to Fjord’s hair.His eyes burn, and he hates how calm and cold his voice sounds. He misses them, their familiarity, how easy they were about touching, hugs, with him. It’s barely more than a whisper. His eyes are wet and he is already trying to hide his weakness. He has to be strong. He has to. Weak people get left behind. Get forgotten. “I’m sorry– I’m trying. I’m sorry.”