Janus found himself sitting at the lake’s edge once more. It had been several weeks since his last visit, which was… bizarre. It felt almost impossible, after years of spending his every free moment sneaking into the Imagination for that purpose. Time that he would have spent with Romulus if he had a choice. Returning after so long was like walking through a dream.

The thing was, he hadn’t felt the need to come here for a while. Usually when there was a long stretch of time that he wasn’t able to return, he used to feel an aching longing like an itch beneath his skin. He’d become antsy and snappish, until he finally found the time to visit the forest.

But now he had Remus to keep him distracted from that, with his hair-raising adventures through the Imagination or even just casual conversation. He almost didn’t notice the time slipping through his fingers. Now, Janus had something to do other than the work he does for Thomas and endlessly missing Romulus. He had started spending hours at a time in Remus’ company, just having fun and enjoying each other’s friendship – hours in which the idea of mourning wouldn’t even pass his mind.

That wasn’t to say that there weren’t still times when the weight of his grief could become so heavy that it crushed him into the ground until he couldn’t get his feet back under him, but that weight was no longer a burden he had to carry alone.

It was weird, having nobody here with him. In the years since the Split, he’d managed to get used to always having an empty space next to him where Romulus should have been. But in the recent weeks he’d also grown used to the constant companionship that came with having a proper family consisting of more than just a ghost.

Remus had respected his promise not to pry into what he was doing. They hadn’t even spoken about his frequent excursions into the Imagination since Remus had first confronted him about it. Not that Janus had been expecting anything different, Remus had always prided himself on his brutal honesty.

Maybe one day he’d be able to tell Remus the real reason that he came here. It would be nice to finally be able to get that off his shoulders. The Duke certainly deserved an explanation for why he had been so cruel at first, even if he hadn’t actually asked for one. And an apology. But not yet. Janus wasn’t quite ready for that yet. He would be selfish about it for a little longer.

Janus splashed a foot through the water, throwing drops of bright blue everywhere. It was a carefree action that Romulus would have laughed at. He’d have said something about how the big bad snake man was really just a big kid at heart, and Janus would have snarked something similar in response. He smiled at that bittersweet thought.

This new lightness that he felt made his demeanour much more tolerable, something he was sure the others had noticed. He’d begun to interact with Logan and Patton more often as a result, even Virgil was less distant. Janus liked to think that he was earning redemption for the things he had done to hurt them too.

Because Janus was no fool, he knew he had made horrible mistakes in his quest to be heard. He had sent Thomas into a downwards spiral as he questioned himself more than he had for a long time just by revealing his existence; he had made Patton feel inadequate, made him second guess his every thought; his repeated impersonations of Logan had made him question his place and importance in the little mismatched family that Janus had decided to force himself into; he had knowingly hurt Virgil with the constant thinly veiled threats to reveal his secret, for no purpose other than revenge. He should know better – he knew Virgil, knew how badly he would take it.

That might be one of the worst things he’s done. For goodness’ sake, he was Deceit! He knew the importance of keeping your secrets close to your chest, and the feeling of everything being out of your control when someone tore them from you.

He should have been more careful with them, considered more than just how his actions would further his plan.

But... didn’t the end justify the means? Especially in this case. He might have hurt the other sides, but it was to help Thomas. When Thomas suffers, so do all the sides. Janus was just… helping them. All of them. It was for the greater good. Right?

Janus sighed. These thoughts were just dancing around what he really needed to think about. But denial wouldn’t do anyone any good.

There was still one person who he hadn’t spoken to at all since his messy acceptance months ago.

Roman had been doing everything he could to avoid being in the same space as Janus. His strategy had been to stay in his room whenever Janus was around, but as Janus became more and more integrated into the ‘famILY’ (as Patton liked to call it), that meant he was hiding in his room for most of the day. While he could understand why Roman would want to avoid another confrontation, this was definitely not going to help his already fragile mental state. Janus had to fix this.

But how? He’d been trying to approach Roman for a while now, but just the sight of his ‘creepy snake face’ was enough to send the Prince running. How were they supposed to have a reasonable discussion if Roman refused to even exist in his general vicinity?

Obviously, finding him around the Mind Palace wasn’t the way to go about it, but the only other way could think of was to corner Roman while he’s in his room. Janus didn’t want to do it that way – it felt underhanded and cruel to force him into a conversation that he clearly didn’t want to have with no private space to escape to. It felt far too much like playing the villain, and he’s had enough of that role to last an eternity. But what else could he do?

Janus sighed again. This was so frustrating. Why couldn’t the solution just be simple?

Actually, he didn’t have to think about this right now. The lake was a place for him to relax, away from the stress of the Mind Palace, so he’d just swim some lengths and have fun for now. Everything else could wait for a few hours.

With this in mind, Janus stood from where he was sitting and waded further into the water until he was deep enough to float of his back. He stared up at the golden sky, which was just beginning to dissolve into the glowing flecks that would light up the night. They floated down and settled all over the surface of the water so that it glowed electric blue.

Some of them landed on Janus himself, nestled in his hair and clothes. The lights were pleasantly warm and ticklish, making him huff out a laugh.

Janus let his eyes slip shut, relaxing into the water and letting it carry his weight.

***

The next day dawned on Janus making his way down into the kitchen. After hours of deliberation over the dilemma, he came to the conclusion that the only way to go about this was to find Roman in his room. Though he hated to do it, he needed the Prince to stay in the same room as him long enough to talk. There was no other conceivable way to do that short of grabbing Roman and tying him to a chair, which was not going to happen.

Janus stopped just outside the kitchen, listening to the conversation inside. There was Patton’s voice, far too bubbly and excited for the morning as usual. Next sounded a monotone and clear voice – Logan’s (though that was to be expected since he always awoke promptly).

Normally Janus would already be downstairs to eat whatever delicious breakfast Patton had cooked up for them and offer his greetings to his new… friends (sometimes he still hesitated to say that word). But today, he had to make sure a certain Prince was there too. Roman hadn’t spoken yet, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t there yet. Still, if Janus entered the kitchen before he did, Roman wouldn’t even come inside, and the plan would fall to pieces.

Suddenly a distant crash rang out through the Mind Palace, making Janus jump. All conversation ceased.

“What the hell was that?” Virgil’s sullen rumble was coloured with the beginnings of panic.

For a moment Janus considered going in to reassure him, meticulous planning be damned, but then–

“It was probably just Remus,” said Roman, “I’m sure he’s fine, no need to worry, JDelightful.”

Janus slid out of his hiding place and into the view of the four. Patton beamed at him and Virgil offered him an indifferent salute. Logan gave him a polite nod of acknowledgement.

But Roman’s eyes just widened at the sight of him. He stood so quickly he nearly knocked over the stool and scrambled backwards. “Uh, on second thought, that fiend may have gotten himself injured! I’d better go check on him.” He declared and hastily retreated.

Patton watched him go sadly, but this was such a common occurrence that Virgil didn’t even bother looking up from his phone. Logan still looked vaguely confused by the situation, which would have been amusing if it weren’t for the familiar sting of guilt Janus felt at the way Roman fled at the sight of him.

“Good morning.” Janus offered awkwardly.

“Janus!” Patton exclaimed, quickly bouncing back from his disappointment, “Here, I made you breakfast!”

Janus took the plate held out to him and sat down in one of the two empty seats – quite deliberately not the one that Roman had just vacated. “Thank you, Patton. It looks delicious.”

“You’re welcome!”

Conversation quickly picked back up from there, but Janus didn’t say much unless he was directly addressed. It was difficult enough to stomach his food with the nerves that twisted in his gut, he didn’t need the added pressure of conversation to go with it.

Once he’d finished eating, in order to give Roman enough time to get back to his room (and hopefully seem less suspicious), Janus would go back upstairs, and finally tell the Prince what he had wanted to since their last interaction. Hopefully, it would be well received. Because if it wasn’t, it might actually exacerbate the situation.

Janus’ heart was beating far too quickly for such a mundane breakfast.

He ate quickly before he could have second thoughts and got up abruptly. His unanticipated departure drew much more attention, everyone looking at him in concern.

“Are you good, dude?” Virgil asked.

Janus just nodded rapidly. Judging from the others’ faces, it wasn’t very convincing.

“Are you certain, Janus?” Logan titled his head to the side curiously. “You have been unusually reserved since you came down.”

“Yes, I’m fine. I’ll see you all later.” He had to hurry out before they could ask him anymore questions.

He climbed back up the stairs and travelled down the corridor that housed all the sides’ rooms. Janus stopped outside Roman’s and just stood, staring at the door. He raised his fist and paused with it hovering about the wood.

He could just turn around now. The music was muffled through the walls, but the sound of Roman singing at the top of his lungs to some mournful showtune was hard to miss. He would never even know that Janus had been here, Janus could just leave and come up with a better plan later. He could leave a note. Why hadn’t he thought of that? A note!

Janus set his jaw, took a breath to steady himself, and firmly knocked four times.

The singing cut off. The door stayed stubbornly closed.

He knocked again.

Irritated grumbling was heard and the rustling of blankets, before the soft thud of footstep trailed towards the door.

Roman’s expression was disgruntled, likely from being disturbed, but it only soured further when he saw exactly who had disturbed him.

“Deceit,” he snarled.

“Roman.” Janus replied in kind, shuffling nervously on his feet. This was a bad idea, why did he ever think this was a good idea?

The Prince shifted his body slightly and closed his door further, so that his room was entirely blocked from Janus’ view. “What?” Roman demanded, and the hostility in the word took him aback. “Come to gloat, have you?”

Janus was so genuinely startled by the accusation that his carefully planned speech flew out of his mind. “No!”

Roman just glared harder. “And that means you have, doesn’t it? Of course.” It wasn’t really a question.

Janus answered anyway. “No, it- it means that I have no intention to gloat. I came to apologise.”

“Yeah, right.”

Well, this could be going better. Janus had thought Roman would at least hear him out before dismissing him.

“I mean it!” He said desperately, trying hard to keep his voice level. “What I said to you was unnecessarily cruel, and far from true. You aren’t evil, and neither is Remus for that matter. This is hardly the worst thing that I’ve done to you, but it took a far greater toll on you than I ever expected. I should have been better towards you. I’ve been hurting you for, well, most of our loves. I am… sorry, for that, and I regret that I have been too prideful to say so sooner.”

“Oh.” Roman’s face was unreadable as he processed what had just been said, and Janus prepared himself to be met with more scorn. “Um, thank you, Dec- Janus.”

At that single, simple sentence all the tension in Janus’s body drained at once. That was more than he had expected to get. He nodded and took one step backwards, about to leave, only to stop dead when Roman spoke again.

“And, same to you. I’m sorry that I laughed at your name, when I knew that it must have taken a lot of courage to share with us after we had done nothing to make you trust us. I made the same mistake with Virgil, too. I never seem to learn.” He huffed a self-deprecating laugh. “It’s just… my greatest fear is that I might be bad, for Thomas.”

“I know,” said Janus softly. Far too well.

“It was the only reason that I decided we should go to the wedding. I thought that agreeing with you would make me evil. And then, to find out that we had missed such a huge opportunity – that I chose to miss that opportunity – for nothing! It hurt.”

Janus nodded solemnly. He was shocked to be offered so much honesty, so much trust, so soon, but he was going to do his best to treat that trust as the treasure it was.

“But that’s no excuse,” Roman finished, a suspicious wobble to his voice. Janus chose not to mention that, nor did he mention how the Prince’s eyes shone wetly. He suspected that Roman would not appreciate that concern the same way Romulus had. “And I’m sorry for always assuming the worst of you too.” Roman gave a small, bashful smile.

“Thank you, Roman. I appreciate that.” Janus replied, nothing but genuine honesty in his tone. “I do hope this mean we can put an end to this bizarre game of hide and seek?”

“What do you mean?”

“Roman.” Janus deadpanned. “You have made a point to leave the room whenever I show up. Did you really think I wouldn’t realise you’ve been avoiding me?”

“Ah.” Roman said in lieu of an answer. “You noticed that.”

Janus snorted before he could remember that that’s probably a bad idea. “It’s hard not to. Subtlety is certainly your strongpoint.”

Shockingly, Roman actually grinned at the comment. “You got me there.”

They fell into silence, and the moment stretched until it became distinctly uncomfortable.

“Uh, do you want to come in?” Roman asked as he stepped backward to allow Janus entry into his room, where a pillow fort fit for royalty had been set up in front of the TV. “I was just watching Disney.”

“I could tell,” Janus smirked, following the other in. “What were you watching?”

“The Little Mermaid,” Roman exclaimed enthusiastically, in almost the same tone as his brother had used to describe the Flesh Eating Pixies, and Janus had to suppress his laughter at that thought.

“Ah.” Janus said wisely, sarcasm dripping from his words. “I do always love a film about a person choosing to be silenced to get rid of their scales.”

Roman paled. “Oh, no, I didn’t mean-”

What are you doing, Janus? He cursed himself internally. It’s too soon for those kinds of jokes!

Externally, he backtracked clumsily. “Uh, I… was just joking. Don’t worry.”

“Oh, okay. Good.” Roman looked distinctly relieved, making Janus wince at the shame he felt at causing that kind of response. He was ushered into the enormous pillow fort, where they both made themselves comfortable. The foot of space between them felt glaringly obvious, even in the enclosed area.

Roman had just picked up the remote when Janus remembered that there was something he hadn’t cleared up yet.

“For what it’s worth, Roman,” he began, mind flicking through every way he could say what he meant. “You have always been Thomas’ hero. Everyone’s hero, in fact. You’re the Prince of the Mind Palace, always doing what you can to protect your family. Nobody else could ever dream to fill that role.”

Roman gave a small, shy nod. He didn’t say anything, but that was alright.

“Do you me to go back to the start?” He asked suddenly.

“Oh no, that’s not necessary,” Janus replied hastily, but Roman had already begun to rewind the film, even though Janus could see he was past halfway through.

“Nonsense!” he said boisterously. “I relish every opportunity to watch the absolute masterpiece that is Disney once again!”

Janus sensed the lie in those words but kept his silence. It was a nice gesture, and as much as he didn’t want Roman to inconvenience himself for the sake of social niceties, he also did not want to squander it.

Roman clapped his hands to dimmed the lights, and the two settled in to watch the movie together.

***

The following morning came with a break in the familiar pattern. Janus descended the stairs and wandered into the kitchen. Once again, nearly everyone was there already, except Virgil who was probably sleeping in (well, if you can call it that when he likely only fell asleep a few hours ago). Remus was there this morning, and Janus watched with great amusement as Patton and Logan attempted to keep him causing too much chaos on his quest to make himself ‘breakfast’.

Then his eyes met Roman’s. They both froze, staring and each waiting for the other to make the first move. They may have just spent an hour and a half sitting in each other’s company, but it had been silent (or as silent as it gets when Roman is excitedly singing along to every song). Neither knew how that would change their dynamic. Finally, the Prince broke eye contact and turned back to his breakfast.

But he hadn’t left. Janus was here, in the same room as him, and Roman hadn’t left.

Janus continued to look at him, considering. And for once, he saw Roman. He saw Roman, entirely whole as himself – not half of Romulus, not even as the person Romulus wished he could have been.

Just Roman.

“There you are, kiddo. Here!” A plate of food was thrust in front of him, pulling him from his train of thought. He turned his head to see Patton’s smiling face, which was so warm and friendly that it automatically pulled a returning smile from him in response, one that he didn’t try to bury beneath his usual smirk. “Don’t worry, I don’t think Remus has gotten to it yet,” Patton whispered.

He took the dish and went to sit down in the seat next to Roman. “Thanks,” he only hesitated for a split second before adding, “Dad.”

The way that Patton’s whole face lit up until it was practically glowing easily mitigated any awkwardness that he felt at calling someone his own age ‘dad’.

On the other side of the counter, Remus was adding washing up liquid to a mug of coffee while Logan watched on in resigned exasperation.

At that moment, Virgil walked through the door with his hoodie slung over one arm and his hair flat at the back, evidently having just gotten up. “You guys are really, really,” he cut himself off with a yawn. “Loud.” He finished, grumbling.

Everyone turned to face him, even Logan abandoning his vigilance over Remus’ actions.

“Oh, sorry Virge. We’ll try to be more quiet tomorrow.” Patton said apologetically.

“Don’t worry, emo!” Remus sang, mug in hand. “I made you coffee!”

Virgil was clearly half asleep because he normally wouldn’t even think of consuming something given to him by Remus. “Oh, thanks.” He said, lifting the mug to his lips.

“I wouldn’t drink that, Virgil.” Logan hurriedly pulled the mug from his hands before he could take a sip. “Remus has added all kinds of thing to that, including mud, washing up liquid and sherbet.” He held out a different mug. “Here, this one has not been tampered with.”

Virgil scowled at Remus, who waggled his moustache gleefully at him, before taking the offered drink. “Thanks L, that could have been bad.”

He took a gulp of the liquid and immediately gagged.

“Hah!” Remus crowed, “Tricked you, Lo-Lo! I swapped the mugs when you weren’t looking!” Remus’ cackles mingled with Virgil’s muttered profanities and Logan’s apologies in the background.

“By Hercules, Remus!” Roman scolded his brother, doing his best to sound angry but he clearly found the situation hilarious. “I just can’t believe you, why would you do that? You are a walking hazard-”

Janus watched the scene unfold and the smile never left his face. He was surrounded by his family, all of them bickering with each other, but it was only in jest. Patton was flapping his arms about and trying to deescalate the situation, even though it was far too late for that and nobody was willing to back down.

A deep fondness welled up inside him. It was so sudden and strong that he couldn’t have stopped the words from spilling over if he had tried. “You guys are just… you’re great.”

The arguing halted immediately at such an out of context comment.

“Aw, that’s so sweet kiddo! Thank you, you’re great too!” Patton chirped in reply.

The others all seemed a bit more perturbed by the statement, but each gave their gratitude as well anyway, and that was enough for Janus.

Because Romulus was no longer with him. Romulus had died a long time ago. That would never be okay, it would never stop hurting. Romulus was his first friend, his best friend, and for a long time his only friend. Romulus would always have a place right in the centre of his heart.

But now Janus had more friends, ones who were with him. He’d get to wake up every morning with a freshly made breakfast for them all to eat together. He’d spend hours baking with Patton until they had more cakes than they knew what to do with and have fierce philosophical debates with Logan. He have the chance to watch conspiracy videos with Virgil at three in the morning, until they were stupidly paranoid and laughed every time one of them jumped at mere shadows. He would be able to get up to all kinds of shenanigans in the Imagination with Remus and watch Disney movies with Roman all day. He have all of that, and he’d have it forever.

That was enough for Janus. It was more than enough, more than he’d expected to be given.

This was enough.