#tryingtobeokay

I finally have the chance to say goodbye. Goodbye babe... #painful #tryingtobeokay #terrified

I'm physically, and mentally cluttered recently, and I've been dealing with this terrible headache all day, and until now, but a quick sketch though gave me some hope, that I'll recover and will be fine soon... ✍🏽✍🏽✍🏽 #tryingtobeokay #sketchremedy #moleskine #penandink #beardedmen #beard #practice #instaart #instaartist #illustrator #illustration #kdlig

✍🏽✍🏽✍🏽 #sketch #illustrator #illustration #instaart #instaartist #penandink #pinterest #fashionista #kdlig #tryingtobeokay #moleskine #sketchbook #practice #prismacolor

Diversions ✍🏽✍🏽✍🏽 #sketch #illustrator #illustration #instaart #instaartist #penandink #pinterest #pinterestgirls #fashionista #kdlig #tryingtobeokay #moleskine #sketchbook

Had a really good conversation with my mother in law yesterday. It was exactly what I needed. I'm going to rededicate to myself. Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I've been so wrapped up in making sure that everyone else is okay. I've pushed my true feelings, hopes, dreams, and passions aside (unknowingly, and so slyly) for everyone around me ((and no, i'm not saying that i in ANY form or fashion regret it, because I don't)) I just need to remember what used to make me happy. Because i'm not happy.. flat out. Not. I'm miserable. Inside and out of my skin. I'm not me. I'm a shell of myself. A chipped and flawed shell. and it's time that i slowly paint the layers of myself back on. Obviously not something that I can do overnight. I want to read more, love more, paint more. I want to soak up the sun and enjoy life again. I want to stay up way too late laughing with my friends. I want to wake up in the morning and feel so incredibly blessed to be alive. To have such an amazing support system (even if everyone has their own lives, problems, and whatnot to attend to). To have a husband who sits with me and rubs my back while i cry for no apparent reason, or listen to me talk in the middle of the night because I can't sleep... so we just lay there and talk. I know that I am blessed to have them all in my life, I get that. I just.... I have to focus on myself again.. I have to find myself again. I hope that people can (or try to) understand.

What do you mean of letting go? To completely remove a person from your life? To completely forget all about them? Or you just have to ignore everything about them and let them stay as stranger in your life? I mean, there are things that you don't want to forget.There are memories you wanted to preserve and unwated things you would like to completely erase. Could we just choose the memories we want to remember and abandon the memories that would only hurt us?  Is that even possible? Could we just make it easier to move on? But the thing is, your mind is trying to completely forget them but your heart is complicating everything.