#truthmeltingmagic

i talked to a counselor about it. she said that when i feel overwhelmed my need to bring structure to a controlled environment is how i cope with anxiety - it can be soothing

it’s beneficial with school (like my notes were always typed and neat) but also can induce anxiety because i need it to be perfect. so it’s a real double edged sword (i remember being unable to study unless all my notes were typed, which lead me to be a wreck because i was behind in typing them up but i needed to revise my handwritten notes anyway)

so i go through bouts of everything being really meticulously ordered and the flip is everything is a mess because i get too stressed out that it needs to be perfect that i can’t bring order without panicking 

you are the worst. i go to your blog for fic recs and there's always some there.

Oh gee, so sorry.  So sorry, have these two fics I enjoyed last night:

This Is How You Argue (17959 words) by runningwafers Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Angie Martinelli, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Peggy Carter, Alexander Pierce, Natasha Romanov Additional Tags: Take Your Fandom to Work Day, Architecture school AU, Alternate Universe - Architects, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - College/University, Hate Sex, Casual Sex, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Anxiety, Steve takes things very personally, Minor Peggy Carter/Angie Martinelli, Graduate School Summary:

Steve is a very reasonable, down-to-earth architecture student in his last year of his Master’s program. Not like that asshole Bucky, with his pretentious design ideas and penchant for arguing. They don’t exactly get along.

(Architecture School AU for the Take Your Fandom to Work Day challenge on Tumblr.)

Team Player (16310 words) by emphasisonem Chapters: 10/10 Fandom: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers Characters: Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Natasha Romanov, Mary Jane Watson, Gwen Stacy, Peter Parker, Harry Osborn, Clint Barton, Phil Coulson Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - High School, Teacher Steve Rogers, Teacher Bucky Barnes, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Rated M for eventual sexual content, Slow Burn Summary:

Steve watches the students file into Room 217 after ninth period and tries very hard not to look as nervous as he feels. Between Sam’s warning earlier this week and Bucky’s preemptive apology this afternoon, he’s starting to wonder if volunteering for this was his best idea. But he’d wanted to look like a team player, one of the teachers who’d step up and help when needed. Make a good impression and all that jazz.

oh god. so many one direction songs but also

what makes you beautiful - one direction

New Americana - halsey

radioactive - imagine dragons

u smile - justin bieber

replied to your post

“On a scale of yes you should to no that’s a bad idea: Should I send in...”

Do it. And start learning French, that way you can show that extra initiative. Worst case scenario, you still don't have the job you wouldn't have if you didn't apply, but now vous pouvez parler un peu de francias

je parle un peu de francais maintenant, mais nouveau brunswick parle plus francais qu’anglais. 

The point is I don’t want to go back to my shit hometown. I just want to thumb my nose at them, like neener neener you could have had all this awesomeness if you didn’t suddenly decide to change your hiring rules the moment I interviewed with you.

11:  Do you have any strange phobias?

My biggest fear is probably death by drowning. Which wouldn’t be that strange if not for the fact that I’m a very strong swimmer. I was a lifeguard for much of my teenage years and did competitive swimming (and a bunch of other water sports) to boot. So a bit strange in that way, I guess.

46:  Have you ever caught a butterfly?

Oui! Our manor grounds back home used to be full of butterflies and dragonflies during a certain season so my brother and I used to catch them when we were young. We always used to let them go after a bit, but what a fun time that was.

60:  Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

YES the Captain Swan and Outlaw Queen! And honestly, I definitely think Regina will get a happy ending - specifically with Robin. I’m just hoping that they don’t just kill off Marian. I’d like to see another couple where they just go on their separate ways because of mutual differences/feelings changed, and not because of death (I say another because I’m a firm believer in Emma having moved on from Neal before his death, but that’s just my interpretation).

As far as next season, I’m looking forward to Rumple and Regina’s redemption. I’m crossing my fingers in hope that Marian will be the start of Regina maybe taking more responsibility and showing remorse over the bad things she’s done in the past. And I’m thinking that the fake dagger and new marriage will sort of give ole Rump a good kick in the pants. I have no doubt that his redemption will be the toughest and the longest, because he’s spent so long manipulating people and doing bad things. Honestly, I think his going back and forth between good and bad story lines have worn a bit thin. Like, he needs a good smack. That’s not to say that neither Regina or Rumple haven’t progressed immensely since the first season, just that they still have more to go. And I look forward to that. 

I know that the season starts off immediately with conflict, but I’m crossing my fingers that the show goes back to having a little down time. Like Emma going back to being the official sheriff, David as her deputy. The Charmings doing family stuff, that doesn’t involve battle lol. Maybe just a little normalness amongst the chaos. We got a little of that in 3B with them building the crib, Emma and Hook hanging out in the diner, and Regina and Robin having a date. I’d like to see more of that.

I’m also looking forward to Henry, and him getting more of a footing in the actual story. I feel like he hasn’t really since season 1. And that’s not anyone’s fault nor am I complaining over it. I’m just excited about seeing him indulge this fairy tale stuff while getting back to doing some regular kid/teenage boy stuff (like him crushing on his new girl interest). And, seriously, someone needs to get that kid back in school. Before 3B I was really getting worried about his education.

As far as Frozen goes, I think we’ll get a lot of kind of run ons from the movie. But with Elizabeth Mitchell (whom I love), I’m hoping that the story gets mixed with the original Snow Queen tale. That’s my best bet (and I know there are spoilers out there that either confirm or deny…).

I have no idea what Will Scarlet is doing in Storybrooke or how Maleficent will come back, but I’m so excited to find out!

One thing I super wish that they would do is show the new characters who weren’t exposed to the first curse (like Mulan, Aurora, Phillip, Tink, and others) dealing with Earth/American things. Like our monetary system. I want to see someone having a heated discussion over “what do you mean that I can’t pay this man with my gold and silver? what the hell are you giving me this paper for? this is worth how much?!” and maybe seeing someone try to barter. (I think I secretly just want to see the show try to explain Storybrooke’s economy. Like, where the heck are they getting their supplies?!)

And finally, I think the Captain Swan relationship will progress a lot next season. And progression isn’t always stolen kisses and hand holding. I have no doubt that there will be trials and tribulations, especially with both of their pasts (which I hope we see a crap ton more of). Realistically, I don’t see a CS wedding any time this season. But I do think that by the end of 4A at least, we’ll get some sort of official stamp on their relationship.

1. I won Artist of the Year in 5th grade.

2. I have a deep love for science fiction and fantasy.

3. My three favorite female characters are all badass beautiful blondes with equally awesome significant others. (Juliet Burke, Emma Swan, Rose Tyler)

4. I looooove gummy bears.